Cowardice is the most despised crime of Gryffindor. Fred firmly implemented this idea for sixteen years, but he began to waver in his seventeenth year.
Because the person on trial this time was George. Facing the twin brothers who lived with him day and night, even a resolute and courageous Fred could hardly use the simple and crude presumption criteria of the past. In other words, he was not an idealist like Percy who valued principles and ideas over emotions.
Fred knew what George's ambiguity meant for the past six months. The balance between him and George had been broken since Christmas in sixth grade, and it was still full of cracks. However, he spent too much time with his new girlfriend, and these things hidden under the surface were temporarily ignored.
In other words, he and George tacitly avoided the embarrassing fact.
At first, Fred didn't think deeply about it. He thought George just couldn't adapt to it temporarily. It must be very uncomfortable to be left aside by the twin brothers. Fred and George have been together for 16 years, sharing everything they have seen and learned. This is the first time that Fred has decided to do something alone of his own will.
Dating girls is probably the only activity that the Weasley twins can't share. So when George asked directly, Fred just said "hmm" to indicate that the other party was right.
But there was a lot he didn't say, like when Angelina showed her interest in dating him, he actually struggled with himself and even asked the girl what she thought of George.
If Angelina showed the same interest in them, Fred believed he would immediately return to the hall and pull George into this unusual three-way date.
However, things do not always go as planned.
Angelina liked him, and the atmosphere was so good that it was hard to reject her rudely. And Fred had to admit that he also liked the girl's sweet lips and plump breasts. Those most primitive impulses would always come suddenly one day when they grew up, forcing the twins who were thought to be inseparable forever to compromise and make choices.
When he returned to the dormitory, Fred felt a little sorry for the decision he had just made, but he was more excited. The soft touch lingered between his arms and palms, and he could still smell the unique fragrance of the girl, all of which made him feel a little dizzy.
But the moment he met George, the apology hidden deep in his heart burst out a hundred times, catching Fred off guard. He had never dealt with such a difficult emotion before, and could only cover it up with complacency and exaggerated performances.
He didn't want to stab George, but he couldn't find a better way at the moment. The other party's emotional changes also made him uneasy. In his memory, his twin brother had never been so forbearing in loss. George might be the more introverted one among them, but that was just a conclusion drawn in comparison. Except for Fred, most people probably wouldn't label George in that way. If Fred was facing resentment or unwillingness, he was confident that he could handle it with ease. But George didn't. His brother just tossed and turned in the bed across from him, letting the jokes and comfort he had prepared squeeze into an unrecognizable ball in his chest.
George's voice, pretending to be calm, contained a sadness he had not expected. At that moment, Fred almost regretted it. He even had the urge to tell George that this was a necessary path for everyone to grow up. He was just dating a girl, and it did not mean that the friendship between brothers would be affected from then on. If George really couldn't accept it, he could talk to Angelina again when the sun rose.
If he regretted his decision the next day after agreeing to date a girl, he would most likely be slapped in public. But that was the price of his inconsiderateness, and Fred asked himself if it was unacceptable.
He counted his heartbeats silently in the dark, preparing for the storm that was to come.
But the silence continued, and there was no sound in the four-poster bed, not even the sound of turning over. Fred waited for a long time, and finally he could not resist the sleepiness that came over him.
He thought George had probably figured it out. If the situation was reversed, his own behavior would be no more than the same: first disappointed, then resisting, and finally calming down. Of course, he might have quarreled with George in the process. But George was not the kind of person who would pour cold water on the twin brothers' new girlfriends. Fred reflected on himself in a daze and felt a little fortunate.
However, George gave him an unexpected shock the next day.
The willful request did not arouse Fred's vigilance. He just thought that after a night of calm, George might have something to say to him. But what happened in the carriage was beyond his imagination.
George's plea was so clear that even close brothers could hardly misunderstand the message.
And there were so many little gestures.
Those emotions cried out from George's fluttering eyelashes and trembling lips, telling Fred his brother's unspoken regrets:
I love you too, even earlier than the girls.
If I were the first to speak, would you accept it?
I'm sorry, my feelings for you go beyond this.
I don't want to be just your brother.
George held his hand so tightly that Fred's heart felt like it was being held tightly. He was a little angry, but more of it was self-blame and pity.
Because this could only be called an accident, and it was far from surprising to Fred. He and George were originally difficult to fit into the simple definition of ordinary brothers. For teenagers, the definition of emotions is always vague and unclear, and because of the convenience of being twins, they have blurred too many boundaries.
If they had recognized this possibility earlier, Fred believed that both George and himself would have enough courage and would not shrink back because of worldly views.
He is the older brother, the first one among them to decide to take the step of falling in love, but he was so superficial in his consideration at the moment of making the decision.
He wanted to say that he did not look down on this unusual feeling, and that everything could still be saved. But just as he called out George's name, trying to turn this guy who stubbornly refused to look at him to face him, he heard the other person's low voice: "Don't be silly, Angelina is a good girl."
She shouldn't have been the victim of a dysfunctional relationship.
Neither should you.
Because you did nothing wrong.
Fred fell silent.
Halfway through the short journey to Hogsmeade, George's nervous and unsteady breathing gradually calmed down. Fred never took his eyes off his face, and their fingers were entangled and never loosened.
George has made it clear that he wants to withdraw, and Fred has never thought of letting down any relationship. The dilemma of the three people has been resolved, but they all know that some things can never go back to the past.
The relationship with Angelina went smoothly. Even looking back many years later, Fred would say that it was a wonderful time. The girl taught him a lot and brought him countless happiness. Fred was in high spirits during that time, and he had endless ideas for pranks and joke products.
On the other hand, George did as he promised and never showed any behavior that surpassed his brother in front of Fred again.
But Fred could sense that George was going too far. The boundaries between them gradually became clearer, and George began to try a different style of clothing from him, which sent an obvious signal: he was no longer going to play the mutual game with Fred. The things that could be shared were increasing, and the intimacy that was once inseparable was shrinking.
Even the playfulness between George and him had shown a sense of propriety. They no longer did things like one person pinning the other down and tickling the other until the other was out of breath before letting go. Fred also deliberately reduced physical contact with his brothers.
Until one day, Lee Jordan asked Fred in front of George whether he had broken up with Angelina.
"I guess so." He answered half-heartedly, pinching the corner of the Transfiguration homework to sign his name, and at the same time felt George sitting opposite him tremble.
"If you want to continue pursuing her, now is not a good time." Fred looked up and gave advice, but the person he was looking at was not the commentator. George's eyes collided with his between the two of them.
"Angie is in a bad mood right now, you'd better not get into trouble."
"I know. But you guys were arguing so fiercely. Girls must need someone to comfort them, right?"
Fred didn't really want to talk about this topic, so he dismissed his friend perfunctorily. But George obviously didn't intend to let him go.
"Break up? When did it happen?"
"Yesterday." Fred looked away, still able to feel George's aggressive gaze on him.
Although this relationship left him with some good memories, it was not enough to withstand the disputes and conflicts caused by the suspension. Angelina was under a lot of pressure after becoming the captain, and Fred only realized in the quarrel yesterday that he, the real boyfriend, had never provided enough support and help to her.
Jokes and sweetness can only serve as icing on the cake when nothing happens. Once they have a fierce dispute over the interests of the team, things go into an area that Fred is not good at handling, and the final result is an unpleasant parting.
"But you were banned because of me." George's voice softened. "If you quarreled because of this, I am willing to apologize to Angelina."
He was about to take action, but just as he stood up, Fred rashly grabbed him across the table, and the ink bottle rolled to the floor and broke into pieces.
"I'm the one who's dating Angelina! I'm the one who can't maintain this relationship!" He said in a hoarse voice, "This is my business, and it has nothing to do with you. Can you please stop trying to make decisions for me?"
"If you two break up because of my fault, it's not just your problem!"
George shook him off and strode toward the door. Fred didn't have time to think, and rushed over from behind and dragged him back. This caused a small fight, and when the scuffle and struggle ended, Fred found that he had grabbed George's hands and pushed him against the wall.
"Give up that stupid idea of yours," he gasped. George's shirt was opened in the previous action, and Fred could see the other's chest rising and falling, and he felt annoyed for no reason.
George stared at him for a while.
"It's stupid to decide to break up after just one argument."
"I didn't say I wasn't. Could you please just stop getting involved in this?"
"If you know what the problem is, correct it!" George shouted at him, "Don't you think it's too frivolous to end a relationship like this? Besides, you were implicated by me in the first place."
"You just did what I wanted to do!" Fred said angrily. "Malfoy deserves a good beating for insulting our parents! Even Umbridge knew I would do that if I had the chance!"
George fell silent. After a minute, he spoke softly, "But it's not Angelina's fault. You shouldn't argue with her. Let me talk to her, okay? You've been together for almost a year and have always gotten along well."
"But that doesn't mean this relationship can't end without a happy ending."
The anger did not dissipate, but was slightly suppressed. Fred was never the kind of person who liked to open his heart to others easily. Even though the other party was George, it was difficult for him to frankly admit to him that he failed to be a qualified boyfriend in a relationship. Moreover, there were some unknown conversations between him and Angelina that had been rolling in his mind since yesterday, making him unable to sleep or eat. At this moment, Fred only hoped that George could learn to shut up, but the other party seemed determined to make things difficult for him today.
"…But you two are made for each other. I know more than one person is jealous that she chose to be with you. Impulsive decisions are not good for anyone. I just don't want to wait until things are too late to see you regret it."
George's attitude was very serious, but the more he said this, the more angry Fred became. He remembered that George had tried just as hard as he did now, insisting on pushing himself towards Angelina, and he couldn't help but get angry, blurting out without thinking, "Those people definitely don't include you!"
George stared at him blankly, not reacting for a moment. "What did you say—"
"I said, you are not one of those who are jealous of me." Fred said impulsively, feeling the pleasure of finally being able to shut the other person up. "But you are definitely the one who wants me to break up the most. Because you want me. The only difference between you and them is that you are jealous of Angie."
George's eyes turned cold, and his blue pupils seemed to be covered with a layer of ice.
"Now I think it's a blessing that she left a jerk."
He said this coldly, and Fred felt a slight pain in his heart. It was not because he thought about the fact that he and the girl had broken up, but because of George's unfamiliar attitude. He was in a very contradictory state at the moment. He wanted George's care, but he didn't want him to try hard to match him with his ex-girlfriend. In fact, he had been thinking about one thing over and over since yesterday, but he hadn't figured out how to start it.
"Yes. Now you don't want to go to her anymore, do you?"
"I'll go congratulate her for leaving a megalomaniac." George twisted again in his grip. "Let go, you self-satisfied idiot! And I don't fucking want you!"
Fred, who had already decided to let the person go, subconsciously clenched his fingers.
"...You said you don't want to?" He took a step forward. Now there was no space between them. George's disordered heartbeat was clearly audible against his chest.
"In no mood."
"You're lying!" Fred's anger was rekindled and intensified. "You're a double-talking coward, where's your courage?"
If the previous refusal was because he still had a girlfriend, it would be more or less understandable. But now that things have come to this, George's continued stubbornness is very hurtful. Fred wanted to find some signs of cowardice in the other's eyes, but he was once again stung by the coldness in them.
"So that's what you think." George's voice was filled with a hint of mockery. "Do you think I would keep hoping for you to break up because I couldn't get what I wanted, and then throw myself into your arms immediately after hearing the news? Who do you think I am? What qualifications do you have to say that?"
He laughed sarcastically, and Fred's anger burned through the ice, hissing and extinguishing with a puff of smoke. He wanted to apologize for his mistake, and wanted to explain that he never looked down on the other party, but he couldn't say anything in George's hysterical laughter. Finally, he let go of his hand, turned his head and went straight to the common room, and stayed there until everyone was asleep before returning.
This awkward estrangement lasted for three days.
Because Lee Jordan was once again devoted to the pursuit of his beloved, no one disturbed the two Weasleys. George went in and out alone as he had done for the past six months. If Fred followed him, he would let him, but he would not speak to him.
Fred felt defeated.
The current situation was definitely not what he intended, but there was nothing he could do. He reflected on what he had done that day and found that George's evaluation was quite pertinent. Even if the other party did no longer admit his feelings for him out of cowardice or some other reason, it was all caused by him, and it was hard to say that it was George's fault. Moreover, after three days, he began to believe that George might be telling the truth. Time can change many things. Just as he learned how to face himself from a failed relationship, George might have learned not to love him during this period of time.
George was promoting their invention in the common room. Fred followed him for a while and then found an excuse to go back alone.
Others may not be able to see it, but he himself can feel George's indifference. That kind of atmosphere only makes him uncomfortable, and the praise from the buyers cannot offset it.
He made some fever-inducing candy according to the improved recipe, ate it in one bite and waited for the effect to take effect.
This is the candy for skipping classes that they have not yet found to completely eliminate the side effects. This time, Fred added belladonna and the saliva of the colorful ball fish, hoping that the painful pustules would no longer appear.
The effect of the drug came on as fast and strong as before. He felt it for a while, then swallowed the antidote. The pain was indeed not as strong as before, but he soon found that the numbness was spreading rapidly. Before he could do anything, the numbness took control of his fingers, and the wand fell down. Fred made a final effort to stand up, but only let himself fall to the ground.
This is really his own fault, he thought helplessly. The drug only made the muscles stiff, but the mind was still clear. Time passed by, and Lee Jordan must have been doing everything he could to get around his sweetheart. George would not come back so early to avoid the embarrassment of being alone. Although George did not say it, Fred knew what he was thinking, and the embarrassment was still there, because George would probably not forgive him for his inconsiderate nonsense that day for a long time.
It would be good if he could stop acting impulsively.
Fred sighed silently and closed his eyes. He suspected that he would have to lie like this until midnight, by which time the effects of the drug would probably have worn off.
But just then the door opened, and with the sound of hurried footsteps, someone rushed over to him and helped him up.
George held his head back, checked his oral cavity and body temperature, and looked through the formula recorded in the lab notebook. When George brushed aside his messy hair, Fred felt a very slight vibration in his body. He didn't know if it was his illusion, but George's palms seemed to tremble slightly on his numb skin. Soon, he took the antidote with George's help. His brother felt his pulse every once in a while and helped massage his muscles to prevent spasms from being stiff for too long.
Fred regained consciousness under his constant touch, and his heartbeat quickened. George probably thought it was some adverse reaction, and he muttered nervously to himself, comparing the formula with the ingredients in the antidote.
Fred uttered a hoarse cry as best he could, and within a tenth of a second George was back at his side, his hand on his forehead again.
"How are you?" He asked almost next to Fred, with a hint of worry in his eyes.
"…I'm sorry." Fred said, glad that he could speak so quickly, but he didn't know that his face still looked extremely stiff under the effect of the drug.
"You should apologize. Our consensus has always been that you can't test new formulas alone," said George.
But he looked visibly relieved, and even began to smooth Fred's hair subconsciously. When they both realized this at the same time, George quickly retracted his hand. Embarrassment replaced worry on his face, and he hurriedly tried to cover it up, but Fred coughed a few more times, and while George was panicking, he gently held one of his fingers.
"Not just that. Also about the shit I said the other day, and last Christmas."
"What? You barely said a word then," George said. He must have sensed Fred's weakness, for he did not rush to pull his hand away.
"Because I'm always like this, silent when I should be talking, and boastful when I should be shut up." Fred twitched the corners of his mouth, letting a smile that was almost embarrassed appear there, and it lasted for two seconds with effort. "I've let you indulge me so many times that I took it for granted."
"We'll talk about this later." George's answer was as low as a sigh. "Tell me that you are not being tortured like this now."
"No," Fred said softly, "but now I know it works. Maybe I'll save it for next time."
George glared at him, clearly wanting to say "You want another time?"
"But I will be careful not to make this mistake again," Fred continued, "because I am indeed arrogant and conceited, and I think I can handle the consequences of my every impulse, but in fact..." He panted because of speaking long sentences continuously, and George immediately stroked his back with his other hand.
"Forget it. It's not the first day I know you're an impulsive guy."
"...I also hurt you." Fred murmured, "But that's not what I meant. Really, you have the right to like or dislike someone, I just...don't want to make the mistake worse. I know I have no right to accuse you of backing off, because even I have fear in my heart. I have repeatedly questioned myself these past few days and found that I am even more timid than I thought, because - I didn't dare to accept the possibility that you might no longer love me."
A shadow of pain passed over his face, and George shuddered in sympathy.
"Fred," he said slowly and firmly, "If my love becomes a burden and makes the person I love hesitate in seeking happiness, retreating is the necessary and only correct decision, but that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore."
"So, is it too late now?" Fred moved closer to him and rested his head on his twin brother's shoulder. "In fact, everyone can see that I care about you more than anyone else."
"As long as Angelina doesn't think so," George muttered, not pushing the weak man away.
Fred closed his eyes, as if gathering his strength. Then he held George a little tighter and said, "That's what she thought."
George was more shocked this time than ever before, but Fred would not stop now that he had started.
"She said that as a boyfriend, I should support her unconditionally, regardless of personal reasons for returning the Quidditch Cup, the team can't afford to lose two Beaters at once."
"She's actually right," George whispered. "I can't imagine how difficult the next games will be."
"But I can't convince myself not to stand on your side." Fred sighed. The effect of the drug had worn off by half, and just as his speech became more fluent, the behavioral disorders caused by the numbness also disappeared.
He quietly put his arms around George's waist, but the other was so immersed in what he revealed that he was completely unaware.
"You didn't say anything you shouldn't have said, did you?" He felt George's shoulders tense up and his fingers curled into fists.
"I said..." Fred paused deliberately, and George even stopped breathing. "I said, your position is the same as mine. The decision to suspend you is totally unfair. I can't blame you for a mistake you didn't make, and I can't go against the justice we recognize for any reason."
"Then you really pissed off Angelina. You dared not stand on the side of Quidditch. No wonder she broke up with you." George frowned hard. "Didn't I tell you? She really looks a bit like Wood now."
"She said that people like me who only care about fooling around and brothers should wait until they are older before dating. 'No one can stand you except George.' That's what she said." Fred imitated the angry voice of a girl vividly and held her tighter. "So you see, now I'm heartbroken and frustrated. If you push me away too——"
"You can still cry while hugging the bedpost." George pushed him. "Just because I'm the only one who can stand you, does that make you a second choice? I don't want to!"
"Why did you only listen to the last sentence? Isn't the point 'I put you first'?"
George looked away again, just as he had done when they were riding in the carriage, looking at the walls and ceiling, his breathing becoming increasingly rapid. Fred felt the need to add fuel to the fire.
"You can choose not to look at me." He shook him gently, "just like last time. But you still have a way to let me know what your heart says." He pressed George's chest further and felt his heart beating out of control under his warm skin.
"Last time it said you loved me," Fred coaxed in the sweetest voice he had ever learned. "What does your heart say this time?"
George held on for ten seconds with disordered breathing, then suddenly turned his head and kissed Fred passionately on the mouth.
The two men were immersed in the volcanic eruption of emotions. Fred carefully guided George and deepened the kisses. His experienced teasing soon made George lose the initiative and surrender to him.
"Don't treat me like a girl," his breathless brother said, but soon he was panting even harder under his touch.
"I think I know how to make boys feel comfortable better than girls." Fred laughed, and the last bit of uneasiness completely dissipated in George's response to him.
He moved rhythmically for a while, making the twins tremble. Soon another hand joined the two of them, and George's other hand reached into his hair and grasped his hair roots. With a few light gasps, the boys' dormitory fell silent, and no one said anything.
End