The skeleton district has fallen into chaos, with skeletons panicking and running about and swinging on light poles and screaming at the sky. As they continue to climb building and gallop about and beat each other senseless, one comes right up in front of the camera and makes a mean face at it and spins his skull around before smacking the camera off of its hinges and cutting out the feed, which was being shown on a big tablet screen before Skelefuckton, who is reclined in an enormous throne, adorned in a great amount of armor. Skelefuckton finishes gnawing on a meatless chicken bone, before tossing it aside, prompting a skeleton to put it right back into the bucket of chicken bones next to Skelefuckton. Skelefuckton punches straight through the tablet and throws it to the ground, grabbing another chicken bone and beginning to gnaw on it as he speaks.
"Why are they pissing me off? Funny guy, you gonna explain this?" Skelefuckton smacks Funny Bonne on the noggin with the chicken bone, prompting Funny Bonne to respond.
"Ah, sire, it appears they've been chilled to the bone! Something has them rattled! But we don't know what, sire!" Funny Bonne dutifully responds, before shouting at the two skeletons that had been holding up the tablet for Skelefuckton. "Bring the text tablet! Sire, this video has a special message just for you at the end, you'll have to watch it all the through even if it makes you mad."
"I don't wanna hear it." Skelefuckton declares. "I just wanna know why everyone's running around like a bunch of hooligans out there, while I, the number one skeleton, am sitting here, doing just fine, not complaining."
Despite saying this, Skelefuckton still watches closely as the servant skeletons bring out a new tablet and begin to play a video on it, which seems to be suggesting a revision to the highest rungs of the skeleton leaderboard.
"Hey guys, this is…uh…Skeleton Bones Ghoulie, I…uh…I'm gonna be ranking the, top five skeletons of all time. Starting the list at number five, we have, uh, Sans Pregnant, Sans is a cool skeleton and…" an image flashes on screen for only a moment before moving on to the next entry, prompting the voiceover to quickly switch tracks. "Here at number four is Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown is a great peanut character and his skeleton is top notch. Number three we have, uh, El Chapo and the gang, they're famous for…okay, number two, Darth Maul, Darth Maul's a famous skeleton and I think…and then number one, Jack Skeleton, from the movie. Okay guys that's the list."
Before Skelefuckton can cave in the screen with another punch, Funny Bonne puts his hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, don't lose your head, that's what he wants. Listen to his message!"
"Fine." Skelefuckton leans back again and lets the rest of the video play. The slideshow cuts to horribly low quality webcam footage with visible delay and screen tear. A skeleton pen with raised arms, presumably the speaker of the message, is in the center of the screen. As it talks without moving its face, its arms punch forwards in time with its words.
"This is a message just for Skelefuckton, the so-called NUMBER ONE. If you are not him, STOP WATCHING NOW!"
Skelefuckton presses the pause button and glares around the room, causing most of the skeletons to flee, and those who don't get the hint get tossed out personally by Redbone. Once he's alone in the room, save for the skeletons holding the tablet, Skelefuckton uses Redbone to fuse the servants' skulls to their rib cages to prevent them from listening or looking in on the message, and then presses the play button to resume the video.
"Now that I have your attention…you may have noticed that I have already made the other skeletons go cuckoo bananas all over the place. I have taken control of them and will send them after you if you do not meet my demands. You will relinquish your number one position, and adjust the leaderboard to match the list I provided before. If you do not, all those skeletons you claim to be beneath you will tear you bone from bone and I will reassemble you to be put on display in a science classroom!"
Skelefuckton stares in silence at the tablet as its screen goes black. A few seconds later, his voice roars out.
"CHARLIEEEE BROOOOOWN!" Skelefuckton calls out. Funny Bonne peeks back into the room now that the video has ended.
"He's off-Realm right now, sire. May I suggest-"
"You may NOT. Get me Charlie. If he thinks he's so cool that he gets to be number four on our leaderboard AND this guy's, he must have something to do with all this." Skelefuckton grumbles. Funny Bonne nods and pulls out a phone, pressing the number four on the phone's keypad and waiting as goofy cartoon hold music plays.