Maggie:

I finally decided I'd kept it together long enough, and with a casual excuse of paperwork I exited the JOC and walked down the hallway to the room where the field agents' desks were. It was late, and most of the lights in the building were off, including the ones I walked under. On any other night, I'd have turned them on — I didn't like the dark, yet another irrational fear — but I instead found myself wandering to the large window at the end of the hallway.

With the lights off behind me, I could look out and see the lights of the city. I usually found it beautiful, but I couldn't bring myself to enjoy the displays tonight. All those people still bustling about at this hour, and not one of them knew how close they had come today. If that power plant had blown, there wouldn't be pinpricks of light atop of skyscrapers, or neon signs at clubs and movie theaters. The office building across the way wouldn't have brightly lit windows. And no one had a clue. It was my job to make sure they never knew, never had to fear for their safety. And yet…I shivered and rubbed my bare arms. It had been so close. Another second and Dave would have hit the button that would have blown us all up, would've turned out every light in the city below me.

Dave. I closed my eyes. I was relieved beyond measure that he, Iris, and Josie couldn't hurt anyone anymore, I really was. But for a few days at the end, they were almost my friends. And I arrested Iris, threatened Josie, and shot Dave. I put a hand to my mouth. I shot Dave. I shot him. Me.

My breath caught in my throat. I hated going undercover. For months, I was going to be second-guessing, pulled in two directions. Why can't anything ever be simple?

I shivered again. This was the life I had chosen, and most of the time, I loved it. But on nights like this, I sometimes wondered…

I started to turn away from the glass, but stopped when I saw OA standing a few yards away from me. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I don't know, a few minutes maybe." He stepped closer, and I saw my sweatshirt in his hands. He followed my gaze and held up the fabric. "You forgot it in the JOC."

"Oh. Thanks." I took it and pulled it over my head, the soft material settling over my body. I let out a breath. I look back to tell him I'll be in Isobel's office, but I find instead that his eyes are full of worry and pain. "I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Well, neither are you."

"No, I'm not."

I jerk my gaze back to him. That wasn't what I was expecting him to say. "I…" I trail off. What do I say to that?

He took my hands in his and took a deep breath. "Maggie, you almost died today. And no matter how many times it happens, I'll never get used to it."

"I know," I whisper. Tears pool in my eyes. "And I never meant for this to happen, I just—" I ducked my head in an attempt to silence a sob. "I don't…"

OA drew me into his arms. "I know."

I focus on taking one ragged breath after another, putting my emotions back in the place where they belong. And even after I have myself back under control, I don't move to leave his embrace. I just want my partner to hold me.

When I finally began making my way back to the office, he followed me. "You don't really need to do any paperwork, do you?"

"No."

He laughed. "I didn't think so."

I opened the top drawer of my desk and dug through notepads, pens, and scraps of paper until I found the bottle of Tylenol. "I just needed to get out of there. I'm about to fall asleep." I twisted open the cap and shook two pills into my palm.

OA leaned against the back of his chair. "I get it. I'm about to head home myself."

I sighed. "I still have to debrief Isobel."

"Why didn't you do it earlier?"

"Paperwork." I rubbed my forehead, then remembered the pills in my hand. "Have you seen my water bottle?"

He reached over to the corner of my desk and handed it to me. "Right here. And I'd just like to remind you that coffee at this hour isn't going to help that headache."

I sighed again. "Thanks." As he walked away, I wanted to say more, to say thanks for more than just the friendly reminder. But when we glanced back at each other as I swallowed the Tylenol, I knew that he understood.