"I hesitated," says Snape. McGonagall and Pomfrey have been fussing over him for more than half an hour. Now, finally, Madam Pomfrey has left them alone, and Professor McGonagall has asked Snape what happened.
Hermione is burning with guilt and shame for the way she spoke to the Headmistress earlier, but she knows this isn't the time or place to begin reparations. After offering to give McGonagall and Snape privacy, and being told to stay, she sits quietly on the bed next to Snape's.
"I hesitated," he says. "And then I panicked. I've never been in a duel standing next to someone who's life I value more than my own. It changed the rules of engagement, and made me hesitate. The killing curses were cast so quickly, and in that small space, I barely had time to react. I admit, I hoped one of two things would happen. Either I would die, and my sacrifice would protect Miss Granger from further harm, or I would live, and be able to defeat them."
"Why did you even think there was the possibility that you could live, Severus?" McGonagall asks the obvious question, incredulous.
"The Dark Lord had me researching ways of resisting the Avada Kedavra. I made some progress on the subject, which I never exposed him to, for obvious reasons, the first of which being that he would want to test my theories."
McGonagall's eyes just about bug out of her head at this point. "But this knowledge- it could be used to protect so many innocents-"
Snape cuts her off, shaking his head. "It would only protect a select few, at the detriment to others. Swear to me you will not reveal what I am about to tell you. For any reason. Both of you," he says, looking back and forth between McGonagall and Hermione.
"I swear," says Hermione.
McGonagall hesitates.
Snape stays stubbornly quiet.
"I swear, under the condition that you will listen to any and all my arguments for revealing what you have discovered from now until the day I die."
"Agreed," Snape says, and continues. "Avada Kedavra is different from other spells meant to do harm in that it causes immediate brain death without any evidence of physical harm. It is, I believed and now know, a psychological spell, not a physical one. That is why it gets through most shields, and that is also why it can be resisted by a powerful Occlumens. Do you really want the entire Wizarding world trying to learn Legilimency and Occlumency? Consider the privacy implications. Also, consider the fact that only a very powerful Occlumens can shield enough to withstand the effects of the killing curse. I am the most accomplished known Occlumens in centuries," Snape says without the least bit of conceit, "And it still almost killed me. That, and the fact that Occlumency can be powered by both light and dark energy equally. If we allow this information to become public, it will create an entire generation of dark megalomaniac mind reading wizards that can't be killed."
McGonagall and Hermione are both silent. What is there to say?
Snape turns to Hermione. "How did you deal with Scabior and his ugly friend?"
Hermione looks at her hands. "I don't remember anything that happened after you were hit with the Killing Curse, but the headmistress told me Scabior was killed by over fifty deep lacerations all over his body, probably caused by Sectumsempra. The ugly one was killed by lacerations, too, although he was likely unconscious at the time." She says it all in a monotone. She doesn't look up.
"Miss Granger," Snape says softly, "Look at me."
McGonagall's eyes bug out her head again. She has never heard Snape use that tone with anyone. She didn't not know he was capable of speaking so.
Hermione looks up at him. His face is filled with so much compassion for her she starts to cry. She feels in the pockets of her Pajamas. No handkerchief. She feels a great wave of despair threatening to overtake her. She turns to McGonagall.
"Please, Headmistress," she says, tears running down her cheeks. "Where are my clothes?"
"You were covered from head to toe in blood, Miss Granger, we had them incinerated," she explains, not understanding the meaning behind Hermione's question.
At the loss of Snape's handkerchief, Hermione has reached her limit. She curls up on the bed and begins to sob uncontrollably.
At the sound of Hermione's sobbing, and the barrage of self flagellation coming from her head, Snape reaches his limit. He checks his own pockets. Finds an embroidered Slytherin Handkerchief. Bless McGonagall and Poppy. He sits up, swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He stands, sways badly. Steadies himself on the bedside table. Hobbles to Hermione's side. Sits down next to her on the bed.
McGonagall, completely at a loss as to what to do, simply observes in a state of suspended disbelief.
Hermione is curled into a tight ball, sobbing violently into her hands. Her whole body is shaking, and she is quickly hyperventilating. Snape gently pulls her hands away from her face, breathing a sigh of relief when she lets him. He spells the handkerchief to dry itself and then starts to methodically mop up the never ending stream of tears.
He strokes her hair with his other hand, and starts to speak to the thoughts streaming from her head unchecked. "You are not a bad person, you are one of the best people I know." And, "No, I'm not going to Azkaban for casting a killing curse. I did it to save you, the entire Wizarding community of Britain would tear down Azkaban stone by stone if I was locked up for protecting you." Then, "You're not evil, sweetheart, you snapped under the strain of watching me die in front of you and the darker side of your nature emerged, unchecked, and both defended you and took revenge simultaneously. I will teach you how to ensure that it doesn't happen again, but no one is going to blame you for what happened." Finally, "You said what to the Headmistress and Madam Pomfrey? You are going to have to work hard to prove your contrition, Miss Granger. But Professor McGonagall loves you, and she has forgiven me for much worse."
The tears are slowing now, and her body has stopped shaking. She has unwound from her fetal position and wrapped herself around him. She is breathing more slowly.
McGonagall is aghast. "Professor Snape, are you performing Legilimency on a distraught student?"
"No, Headmistress. Miss Granger broadcasts her thoughts to me weather I want to hear them or not. I have taught her to occlude enough to keep her thoughts private, but it requires concentration on her part. She isn't capable of occluding at the moment. I answer her thoughts to let her know I can hear her." Snape pauses, cocks his head to the side. "There, she's put her blocks back up."
McGonagall doesn't know what to say. She just looks back and forth between them.
"She does feel horrible about threatening you, Headmistress." Snape ads.
McGonagall dismisses this. "We'll deal with that later. Right now you both need to rest, and I have to formulate a plan to keep the ministry off our backs. Don't worry about Shacklebolt. I can deal with him. At some point, though, you will have to speak with the ministry."
Snape nods. Hermione has stopped crying now. Snape removes his hands from her hair and face and turns to face his boss. "Go ahead and ask," he says.
"Do you have an inappropriate relationship with Miss Granger?"
"Yes," Snape says. "We have grown emotionally intimate in a way that is entirely inappropriate in the context of Hogwarts. Physically, what you have just witnessed is as far as it has gone."
McGonagall nods, her face a mask. "We'll talk more on that later. Our first obstacle is the Ministry. One battle at a time."