All the Champions stared at Rosa.
Rosa, feeling discomfitted beneath all the stares, huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "What? What's everyone looking at me for?"
"Your change in attire is rather...notable," ANNA - sitting on a much-reinforced stool since apparently they didn't have enough in the budget for a new chair - noted, referring to how Rosa was absolutely draped in lesbian colors, had Venus signs painted on her cheeks, a white lily in her hair, and a shirt that said GIRLS GIRLS I LIKE GIRLS written on it in very large letters.
"Is there something you're trying to tell us, dear Rosa?" Dawn asked sweetly.
"...FINE. I'm gay. You all were right. Satisfied?!" Rosa finally snapped, looking supremely embarrassed.
Julie blinked, genuinely surprised. "Wait, that ever in doubt?"
Rosa groaned.
Red held up a hand and people around the table started passing him money. "Why do we always gamble with Red? He always wins!" May complained.
"It's that poker face of his, something about it just DARES you to challenge him, even if it never ends in your favor," Selene said sadly. "Good thing we all have money to burn, right, ladies?"
Everyone made murmurs of agreement at this.
"You bet on me coming out?!" Rosa cried indignantly.
"Of course we did, you've participated in past wagers, why is this one a surprise?" Serena asked.
"Because this one's about me," Rosa lamented, laying her head on the table.
"So, spill! What finally got ye out of th' closet? Or rather...WHO?" Gloria asked, waggling her eyebrows.
"...Elena," Rosa mumbled through the stone and her hair.
Everyone immediately passed more money to Red.
"SERIOUSLY?!" Rosa shrieked.
"In hindsight, it is fairly obvious it would be her," ANNA admitted. "There was no heterosexual way to explain your actions in the film with her."
"Nyone whatsoever," Julie agreed. "So, nyext Queen Serena and Gloria finally make out? Julie got good money riding on that!"
"NOT HAPPENING!" both monarchs shouted.
"Give it another week," ANNA murmured to her sister, who nodded in agreement.
"Actually, what I'd like to know is why you're wearing...all that," Selene commented, referring to Rosa's very lesbian outfit. "I mean, we're all gay and proud of it, but we usually don't advertise it to such extremes."
"It was Elena's idea," Rosa muttered. "I wanted to take my coming out slow. Like, maybe in a year or two. Or a decade. Or five. Or, you know, maybe never tell anyone at all. She called me a coward, pointed out that as a movie star it was literally impossible to keep anything in our lives a secret and someone would find out eventually so I should get ahead of it, put this outfit on me, and marched me out the door."
"So the two of you are..." May prompted.
Rosa wordlessly held up a hand and showed them the engagement ring on it.
Squeals of delight and well wishes filled the hall, while still more money was passed into Red's hands.
Rosa sighed.
"Wait, I thought Elena was already engaged to her Lopunny," Lyra recalled.
"Yes, and now she's engaged to me, too," Rosa said.
"I think monogamy's basically on its way out," Gloria said cheerfully. "'Bout time, too!"
"Julie nyot knyow why nyou have it anyway," Julie commented.
"It seems rather inefficient from a social AND biological perspective," ANNA agreed.
"By the way, Dawn, does your boss have any thoughts about that?" May asked the high priestess.
"I'M OKAY WITH IT," Arceus said. "I DON'T KNOW WHERE SO MANY PEOPLE GOT THE IDEA I CARED ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BUT I GENUINELY DON'T. TO EACH THEIR OWN."
"Okay, thanks," May said without missing a beat.
"...We gonna get used to that?" Julie murmured to her sibling.
"I am uncertain if I wish to or not," ANNA replied. "It also just occurred to me that there are several thousand questions my people have for the One, not an insignificant amount of which are mine, including if They can get us home."
"I COULD BUT I WON'T," Arceus, now right next to her, said apologetically. "I WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS."
"Very well," ANNA said without blinking an eye as Julie gawked. "Can you at least tell us the meaning of life?"
"I'LL TELL YOU MINE IF YOU TELL ME YOURS."
"Hmm. Well played."
Arceus vanished.
"So," Rosa said as if that hadn't just happened. "I'm sorry, Lyra, but it looks like you're the only straight Champion left."
"I'm not straight," Lyra said.
Rosa blinked. "...You have a boyfriend."
"Yeah, I'm bi," the...quarter-wolf (?) explained.
"Oh." Rosa fidgeted. "Well. In any event, now that I'm out of the closet, I just want to confirm that while I think all of you are extremely attractive I have no interest to have extramarital affairs with any of you, ESPECIALLY not Gloria-"
Gloria flexed a bicep.
Several minutes later, a smug Gloria lay with her arms folded behind her head next to a shellshocked Rosa, both of them nude and lying in the remains of an utterly destroyed bed.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Rosa screamed.
Gloria snorted. "Ye didnae do nothing, I did all the work."
"HOW COULD I DO THIS?! HOW COULD I LET YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" Rosa yelled.
"Ye ripped off yer shirt and pounced on me when ye saw me muscles," Gloria pointed out.
"Oh Original One, what have I done?! How am I going to explain myself to Elena after this?!" Rosa shrieked.
"PLEASE STOP TAKING MY NAME IN VAIN," Arceus said. "ALSO SHE'LL BE FINE WITH IT."
Rosa blinked. "What?"
In bed together, Marnie and Elena made out as a VERY happy Lola was sandwiched between them. "I hope Gloria hasn't tired yer fiance out too much," Marnie murmured, biting Elena on the shoulder and causing her to moan. "I wan' a turn wi' her too."
Red grinned as more money came his way. He and Blue's next vacation was paying for itself!