A Bewitching Dance

by Haerrlekin

As Naruto lay dying at the bottom of that chasm, his heart roared in rebellion; his blood sang in turn. The chrysalis flowers, and a beautiful monster spins its web. Alive(?) Kushina/NaruHina/DARK themes

35. Matters of the Heart

Heya,

This chapter took a bit longer than I planned it to. Meant for it to come out only two weeks after last, but work is hard and life is pain. I won't bore you with the details, but I do hope the wait was worth if for you guys.

Also hoping that I don't have to make this a habit, where chapters take a month or more to come out. I kind of miss back when I could pump these out in only a week or so

Anyways, let's jump right into things. Back on that horse!

---

"Now that's better…"

It really was hard to think and make plans while every cell in his body was screaming in agony.

Ah, the prices one pays for immortality.

Orochimaru stretched his new body to the brink, wringing hands and rotating his ankles against one another; then he stood, stumbling once and holding a railing as he rose.

"Ah, but I think I could do without the baby giraffe syndrome every time!"

Truly, was it so hard to ask that all of his fresh new faculties worked the first time he used them? Something about the minute changes in signals between the brain and tender new flesh. Genius that Orochimaru was, he had long-since given up on all but the most intermediate medical knowledge; that was what Kabuto was for. Speaking of which- "Tell me, my dear- how long should I have?"

Kabuto's frown was not what he wanted to see. "Would you like the bad news or the worse news first, Lord Orochimaru?"

Ah, well he was feeling like an optimist! "I'm sure the bad news can't be too bad!"

"Your body is already failing you as we speak."

Oh… Well that sucked! Orochimaru pouted. "And here I thought we would get along swimmingly?"

"And that would be the worse news, sir." Kabuto lowered his clipboard and sighed. "We can attribute this development to a severe disconnect between your spiritual presence and the body you've taken. You were already skating on thin ice before your little episode in Konoha; between your fight with the Third; your stunt in Tanzau; now, your encounter with Naruto Uzumaki."

Now, Orochimaru's frown seemed a bit more serious. "So I have taken damage, then?"

"Er- yes, and no…" Kabuto thumbed his chin. "As I'm sure you know, our chakra adapts to the stress we put on it; you, Lord Orochimaru, have been putting yourself under a great deal of stress, as of late. While it's true that you have 'taken damage', so-to-speak, the concern is not that you are weaker, but that you have recovered to be stronger than you were, mere months ago… Substantially so."

Orochimaru's frown deepened. "I never thought I'd see the day that getting stronger was a problem, my dear."

"It is when your pick of bodies simply can't compare to what they are meant to host." Kabuto seemed almost annoyed with his master now. "Your bodies are not rejecting you because you are losing your grip on them; they are rejecting you because they are dying trying to contain you."

"So this is what they meant by 'suffering from success'..." Orochimaru shook his head. "So the solution then is a higher quality of bodies; simple enough."

"Good luck finding them," Kabuto's derisive laugh made Orochimaru scowl a bit. "We have already been scraping the best we could manage off the top just to buy you a few short years; this latest round won't last you more than a good month or two before its quality begins to suffer. The next, even less so. At this rate, you'll need to start dipping into your special reserves…" Now, his bespectacled accomplice began to chuckle. "That, or lay off the gym for a couple of months."

"And go without your one-hundred and fifty gram- ninja protein shakes with snake venom and condensed goat milk? Nonsense- I love the way you make them!"

"I'm flattered, sir," Kabuto muttered, dryly.

Clearly, he had a far greater appreciation for his lord's current situation than Orochimaru did, himself.

"Did you at least get what you wanted from your little mission?"

"Hm…" Orochimaru's hum came accompanied with a lackadaisical cross of his legs. "Yes, I should say that I did!"

Infiltrating Konoha with Tsunade at its helm would have been close to impossible- doubly so now with Young Naruto Uzumaki to cover the gaps in that 'third eye' of hers. He had never been able to sneak up on the woman when they were still close; he suspected now more than ever, given her hostility in Tanzaku- Tsunade would not give him an inch.

And if Orochimaru could not make it, he certainly knew better than to throw his dear Kabuto into the human meat grinder that was Leaf's newly minted Hokage…

Thus, Young Hinata Hyuga had come to his aid.

"That dear girl truly was an exciting specimen," Orochimaru muttered, his lips quirking with affection. "Konoha always has produced such exceptional ninja, hm?"

"You, yourself are testament to that, Orochimaru-sama."

"Oh don't be a kissass now," Orochimaru shared a chuckle with his subordinate.

For the sake of forcing a remote activation of Anko's curse-mark from their distance- to harvest what data she had before Naruto could sever that link of theirs for good- "Resonating my curse-mark through her was truly the only play that I had."

Well, unless he had wanted to start throwing a bunch of experimental lambs at their walls.

"But even still, I could not have managed it without my dear Tayuya's support."

Who would have thought that his old pet could have attached herself so tightly to Young Naruto's side? Well, he did. After all, like he had told him- "That boy and I- we truly are one and the same."

"You seem quite infatuated with him, aren't you?" Kabuto teased him, seeming to read the flow of his thoughts without fail. Mirth bubbled through the cracks of his gloved fingers. "At this rate, you'll make Kimimaro jealous!"

"Oh hush, you." Orochimaru waved that thought away. "Kimimaro has always been my favorite pet."

Well- maybe not always… But now? Undoubtedly so. His only competition was Kabuto, himself; and Kabuto was no mere pet.

Ah, but where was he? "I knew from the moment that she abandoned my side that she would become his." Orochimaru shrugged, allowing Kabuto to lean into his space to measure his pulse. "Such is her nature…"

Kabuto paused and frowned. "Her nature, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Tayuya is no mere tool, my dear boy." At least, not anything like Jirobo or the rest of her team. She could not be bribed; she could not be moved to obey with threats, fear, or petty motives. "That spirit of hers has always been her greatest asset, in every sense of the word."

It had been those qualities that had moved him to take her under his wing, after all! Really, were he not so hateful of that man and his dogma, he might have compared the redhead's principles to that of his old master.

"Tayuya could only ever follow one who makes her heart whole. And for that one, there really is no limit to what someone like she would do for them."

It had been his folly that had broken that unflinching loyalty.

… Not his best moment; not at all.

"I simply banked that just like myself, Young Naruto would similarly fill that void."

Now, Kabuto snickered. "I never thought I'd see you of all people speak so passionately on matters of the heart!"

Orochimaru scowled. "I would have thought you of all people should understand?"

At that coldly etched rebuke, Kabuto's jaw snapped shut, his master's venom chasing his grin its surface.

"To love something so wholly as to build one's whole world around it- Tayuya always has had such a bleeding heart; in that way, she and you have your similarities."

"... Ah… I- I see…" Kabuto looked down, fighting the makings of a sneer that threatened his features.

To be compared so brazenly to her- "I… I thank you for your wisdom, Lord Orochimaru."

"Hm… Think nothing of it." Orochimaru let out a sharp laugh. "Ah, but now that indomitable will of hers has been turned against me." He let out a contemplative hum. "He will come, and she will follow; I do believe I have poked the hornet's nest more than well enough!"

Again, Orochimaru stood, this time with far greater confidence in his faculties. "To find your answer to my question," He mumbled to himself, gnawing at his own thumb. "Don't let me down now, dear boy."

---

"Special Jonin, huh?" Anko's mirth led their first exchange over a round of drinks; a promise made and kept between the two of them.

"Er- yeah…" The reel of that little detail still sweltered on his thoughts. "Ya know, just-" God, how long had it been, now? "What- ten months ago? I was just some snot-nosed academy student who couldn't even make a damn clone without a mixed bag." A shrug. "Feels like I blinked and suddenly-"

"Suddenly you're Chad Thundercock, snatching clan heads by their necks laying down the law!" Anko finished that thought for him, a snicker rumbling in her throat. "That's how it goes." She eyed his drink, and a pout hit her lips at seeing his was already finished. Topping him off without asking, she continued. "That, or you get stuck in some dead-end job as a forever-Genin or something." A shrug. "I've heard the job security's damn good, at least- even if the pay's kind of ass."

"Heh, yeah…" Unlike mere grunts, Special Jonin were paid a salary, simply to be on call- such was the value of their expertise. Between that and a higher quality of missions- "At this rate I might actually afford to upgrade."

He'd been meaning to; between Tayuya and the occasional Tsunade- and now Hinata too.

"My place is pretty crowded these days."

What's more, he'd be expected to provide for the needs of everybody else…

Wait- did Kushina and Kumoko count too? Could they get hungry?

"HuNgrY?"

Well, Kumoko loved sweets even more than he and his mother did, and it felt like he was drinking their combined weights in honey to keep them all satisfied.

Huh… Could he claim Kumoko and his magic ghost mom as dependents on his ninja tax returns?

"NinJA TAx reTUrns?"

Very good, Kumoko. He'd need to teach her how to file those forms. God knew he was too busy to do them, himself. Not with Tsunade's orders weighing on his focus:

"Moving forward, it will be your responsibility to take care of the ones involved in this mess. I don't think I need to explain to you- you absolutely can't afford to look weak or impotent here, Naruto."

He understood. Much as he hated it, appearances needed to be maintained. He tipped back the rest of his drink, pointedly ignoring the concerned gaze of the bartender.

Turns out a shinobi license did indeed grant fourteen-year-olds the right to alcohol; it didn't stop people from looking at you weird, however.

To Anko- "We oughta address the elephant in the room, ya know? Moving forward, you can consider me your commanding officer… Is that going to be a problem?"

"Hm… Nah!" Anko scoffed. "I know how this goes. Age doesn't mean shit to any ninja worth a damn." She herself had been one of those 'prodigies'- she knew well enough how that song and dance went. A snicker. "But you'd be the youngest person I've ever had to kiss ass to."

"I don't need you to kiss my ass," Naruto waved her off, tipping another drink back as quickly as the last. "Just don't make my life harder than it's gotta be, is all."

He'd have more than enough trouble reigning in Tayuya's friends, if Sakon and Ukon's frequent attitudes were any clear indicator.

"Sir, yes sir!" Anko made a show of saluting, a light slur to her tongue that sent sign enough to her companion that their time together was drawing to a close. She threw an arm over his shoulder, drawing him closer to laugh in his ear. "I won't let ya down Boss-man-lady," She cheered, heedless of the side-eye he gave her. "You say jump, and I'll say 'how high, my liege'? You tell me to twist a man's arm eighty-seven degrees, and whip out my handy, dandy ninja protractor and torque that bitch just right!" Anko nodded, emphatically. "You can count on me!"

He certainly hoped so. "I've got some last-minute preparations I need to make; expect a summons for a briefing within the next few days. Er- sooner rather than later."

---

Naruto had never actually been to Hiruzen's home before. He knew where the man lived; most people did. The Sarutobi residence was hard to miss:

The compound was large, not unlike what he'd seen of the Hyuga or Inuzuka residences.

Though it was decidedly more weird. The outer perimeter was layered with grand trees and foliage, their shapes twisting among one another into a form faintly adjacent to that of a gate. Naruto followed the gently-marked path forward, stepping along large, rounded stone footholds embedded over loose dirt. Dozens of large, curious eyes littered the footholds atop and within the trees' covers; they followed his approach, stopping just short of an actual gate.

"The protections are pretty good," Kushina noted, observing the myriad coils of kanji that dotted the gate's length and looped twice around its lock.

A moment passed, Naruto fidgeting between the standard of patience and some mounting urge to dissect the script before him.

'Click'

The gate swung open, some combination of relief and regret ushering him forward. As he crossed that final threshold, he found his target waiting for him, hunched slightly over his hold on the head of his cane.

"Good morning." Hiruzen's greeting was feather-light, carrying little of the sheer presence he'd known in the man throughout his youth.

"Heya," Naruto croaked back, and then he fell silent.

What exactly was he supposed to say here?

"Would you like to come in?" Hiruzen did not quite wait for an answer, instead turning and hobbling back into the compound at a snail's pace. Naruto followed after him, eyeing the layout of the compound with something parodying interest.

"You live in this dump?" He tried to jest. He winced only moments later, because really, it was quite nice.

Hiruzen only laughed. "Yes, it's just me and Konohamaru, here- well, us and the monkeys."

Ah, so that explained the eyes he'd felt on his way in.

"It's nice," Naruto muttered, seeming unsure.

"I thought it was a dump?"

"Nah, it's just 'cuz you were standing in the way, I guess."

Hiruzen laughed again, but this one was short-lived, his humor cut into by the sharp wrack of his lungs. His advance paused entirely, the man's chest shaking and doubling him over- the death grip on his cane tightening until Naruto could trace the blue of his veins against his wrists.

"Er-" Naruto stepped forth, hands fumbling uselessly.

Did he help? Or was that patronizing?

"Try tripping him," Kushina advised, a bit petulantly.

No- maybe… He still wasn't sure how he was feeling, just yet. For now though- "Are you- good?"

"I'm-" Hiruzen choked out another cough, his eyes squinting tightly shut. "I'm okay… Just- a moment, please."

"R-right." Naruto let him have his moment, then followed after him again as his walk staggered slowly to a start again. "Er- so where's Konohamaru?"

Now a wry smile consumed his aged features. "When I told him you'd been promoted again, he seemed really gung ho about 'catching up to the boss'..." Hiruzen let off a wistful sigh. "You really have a way of inspiring people, you know that? I'm sure he'll be kicking himself when I tell him he missed you, today."

"... I'll go hunt him down later," Naruto promised.

Finally, they both came to a stop in a sitting room of sorts. There were three chairs- one small and plush, while the other two seemed more fitting for adults. The room was furnished for comfort: An active stone fireplace whose structure contrasted with the rest of the scene; a recently occupied kotatsu, not far off from that fireplace.

"Especially in more recent times, I'm finding myself a bit more appreciative of a warm room," Hiruzen explained, returning himself beneath the Kotatsu's warmth. "I hope you don't mind the heat."

Naruto said nothing to that, pointedly sitting himself on what he could only assume was Konohamaru's plush couch, then turning sideways to throw his legs over the armrest. "I'm fine with heat."

For a moment, he allowed himself to simply drink in that atmosphere, closing his eyes and breathing the heat of the room without regard for the hundred-and-one things that awaited him on the other side of this encounter.

"Would you like some tea?"

It was custom to offer refreshments of some kind to one's guests. However- "I wouldn't make you stand when you've just gotten comfortable again."

Hiruzen laughed. "I was hoping you'd say that!" He joined him in that moment, shaking his head in amusement.

Then Hiruzen was tense, and Naruto knew that niceties were over. "You gave me quite the scare at the meeting last night."

Naruto scoffed. "You're one to talk. Last I saw you, you were tugging tonsils with death."

"... Yes, I suppose I was." He shrugged, lamely. "But that's not what I wish to talk about right now, if you wouldn't mind?"

Yeah, he supposed not. "You don't think I've got what it takes to fight Orochimaru."

"If I didn't believe you had what it takes, I would not have supported you in that meeting last night," Hiruzen rebutted, seeming almost offended. "The question is not whether you can, but whether you should."

Naruto paused, pouring over that particular puzzle. "'Should', huh?"

Hiruzen nodded, peering up at Naruto from his spot. "I have no doubt that you have the ability." A thought. "I do not doubt your maturity, either; you have made exceptional strides as of recent… More still, since we last spoke."

He still remembered the emotion- raw and violent, which Naruto had directed his way. That, and his countless failures that that rage had represented. Compare that to the savant he'd beheld at their council's table- no, the two simply couldn't be compared…

"But I tell you from my experience- as a tired old man who has suffered and caused suffering… The path you have chosen for yourself- of war… It is a dark one."

Naruto nearly scoffed. Nearly…

But he had said the same thing to Sasuke, hadn't he? What else had he said, though?

"But it's my path to choose," Naruto finally told him with a sigh. "It's not pretty; it's not ideal… But it's mine." But also- "But also, it's necessary."

"Necessary, you say?" Hiruzen's thin frown wound itself across his lips. "Enlighten me?"

"Don't think for a second that I haven't thought this through, old man." Naruto sighed. "Orochimaru is obsessed with me; he won't allow me to just ignore him… Killing him is the only way I can be sure that me and mine stay protected." His shoulders arced, then slumped. "That's just the reality of things, believe it."

"... I believe it." Hiruzen sighed. "I just wanted to be absolutely sure, I suppose- that you truly understand what it is you're asking for."

"I understand." Naruto's intone was feather light, but carried with it some authority that Hiruzen could not bring himself to question any further.

An uncomfortable silence flowered around them, its pollen casting wide until the whole room suffocated its visitors.

"You're… Taller," Hiruzen tried, almost hesitantly. His tone was fragile, both shoulders weighted heavy with the halo of age.

Seconds passed, one legend waiting patiently for one he knew in the making- his response that was stubborn to come. When Naruto's eyes had observed everything else in the room but the shadow right before them, only then did the freeze of his tongue thaw.

"Er- yeah… Yeah, I guess so…" But now that his own side was initiated, what came next was a given. "I- uh… I guess you missed a lot. You were- you were asleep for a while, ya know?"

"I know," Hiruzen agreed, some tension in him melting as words exchanged, proper. "I'm sorry…"

Naruto twitched. "Sorry?"

Hiruzen began to nod, but thought again, then thought better. "I feel- I feel that I ought to be?"

Now, Naruto frowned, simple curiosity tainting bitter. "But you don't know what for, huh?"

Hiruzen thought for a long moment, then shook his head, now seeming ashamed. "More like-" A stiff wheeze rattled his speech, the man's chest heaving twice with the wring of his lungs. "More like I have too much to be sorry about." Another shake of his head, and Naruto breathed his frustration as the old man carried on. "Last we spoke- you were right; you were right about so, so much. I didn't just fail you- I endangered you. You and the village… I was being selfish- cruel, even… I've been thinking all this time, and I just wish I had done more for you-"

"Then do it," Naruto cut in, the embers of his patience snuffing by the handful. "Y'know, I'm damn sick of hearing 'I'm sorry', or 'I wish'." He threw his legs off from the armrest, seating himself properly to stare down at the old man before him. The derisive lash of his tongue split his host's apologies right down the middle. "For fuck's sake- I don't wanna hear that shit, man! If you're going to do better, then you can spare me the pity party and do better! But 'sorry' doesn't mean shit if you don't got anything to back it up with! I don't need some fucking lip service, I need help! Help me!"

As quickly as he'd blown up, embarrassment began to swell; its burden doubled as he observed the shameful face of the man he'd shouted at. "Er-"

"Sorry~" Kushina sang, smugly. He could feel her fingers prodding at his cheek. "Go on, say it. 'Sorry~' Come on, help him Kumoko!"

"SoRRy~"

… Very good, Kumoko.

"You're right," Hiruzen decided, and Naruto snapped back to him as Hiruzen slowly struggled to his feet. "You're sick of hearing it; I suppose I'm sick of saying it. Wait here."

He was gone for only a few moments before he returned. When he did, Naruto noted something almost shy in the man's approach. "This- I wrote it nearly three decades ago. We wrote it- Orochimaru and I." He closed the distance, thrusting a large, hard-covered book forward for Naruto to take. "Back before Minato was even considered for the role, I truly believed with all of my heart that Orochimaru would succeed me- as Hokage, and as a scholar… He was my greatest pride." Hiruzen breathed his emotion with a painful shudder. "We wrote a book- the study of chakra in its purest form. We intended for it to- we wanted to revolutionize the way that the world utilized it. Not just for ninjutsu, but to unearth its connection with the world itself; we wished to use it as a means to understand other people."

Naruto blinked, a slow tilt of his head revealing just how little he thought of Orochimaru's involvement in such a thing. Hiruzen's sigh seemed to breathe all of the man's regrets all as one.

"You must understand, Naruto: There was a time when Orochimaru was truly a goodhearted person. He was not just a loyal ninja; he was the kindest soul that I knew. The kind of man who loved so strongly that he would throw himself headfirst in front of his comrades and fight tooth and nail to bring them home… I dare say he was just like-" Hiruzen shook his head, cutting that thought short. "And it was my failures- the things that this village and I demanded of him in the name of the Will of Fire, which allowed his kindness to pervert into the monster he became. I-" Another shuddering breath stole the remaining vestiges of his strength, and Hiruzen thrust the book to him with that last gasp of his resolve. "If you plan to kill Orochimaru, I would have you understand who he was, and see for yourself that to kill the monster he is now is a mercy upon that man who he left behind."

---

Nerves had become a familiar feeling over the last few days. Now felt only marginally less heavy than the bundle of stress he'd carried into his meeting with Konoha's finest.

Still, Naruto was getting damn good at pretending. His emotions lay smoothened neatly underneath a layer of yin-chakra, deliberately laid over his own self. It wasn't quite a genjutsu, so much as it was raw suggestion- one of the foremost components that had been taught to him by Kurenai and refined further alongside Tayuya.

Under its touch, his smile was as easy as ever; the newly minted Special Jonin seated himself atop a table, one leg crossed over the other.

"You guys can sit wherever," He invited his present audience without looking up. His mind's eye told him everything he needed to know. Its gaze roved over his company as easily as if he was looking directly at them.

Hinata and Tayuya had come in with him; the former had broken off with a gently-worded explanation.

"I'd like to check on Hanabi-chan for a moment, if that's okay?"

She didn't need his permission- though, he appreciated the transparency as she left in search of her sister's classroom, just a few rooms down. Her presence was close by, she and her sister seemingly enjoying a quick lunch.

She would be there when he needed her to be there, he knew. She always was.

Tayuya, on the other hand, stayed close, the redhead sitting nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with him and distracting herself with polishing her flute.

Sasuke had arrived early- earlier even than Naruto and company had. He sat almost robotically still, eyes shut as if asleep.

Anxiety, Naruto knew. His friend's chakra was racing with nerves, carried over still from their talk the other day.

"I'll move Heaven and Earth to help you turn Itachi into an Itachi-isn't… In exchange, I want Orochimaru."

He would have helped him regardless- that was a given. But Sasuke had always struggled to accept help. It was easier like this for him: Not a friend taking pity on him, like he would have dreaded; a trade, made between partners- equals.

Sasuke cracked open an eye for just a split moment, and Naruto sought his gaze. He winked, and his raven-haired friend diverted his crimson stare, the faintest flush of his flesh belying his stoic facade.

Anko arrived next, all smiles like usual; she thumped his shoulder and stuffed a singular store-bought rice ball into his hand.

"Sir! Agent Anko reporting for duty, sir!"

"At ease, Agent Anko- and excellent ass-kissing as always," Naruto indulged the woman with some humor of his own. He took a sizable bite out of her gift, then sighed and stuffed the rest into Tayuya's expectantly open mouth with a roll of his eyes. "We're just waiting on a few others."

And for their sakes, he hoped they weren't late.

Hinata, then Kidomaru; then Sakon and Ukon waltzed in at exactly his ordered time.

Well they could toe the line all they wanted, so long as they stayed inside it.

"Let's begin," Naruto wasted no further time. "You all know who I am; I know who you all are. I also know how to read a room- so let's skip the bullshit and get to the point." Naruto pushed away from his seat and began to pace. "As of now, every person here has run in with Orochimaru in some way." A frown. "Some worse than most… For the majority of you, I've been able to completely remove the marks he left on you-"

"So what more do you want from us, then?" Ukon cut in, impatience running heavy in his posture.

Naruto did not answer him verbally, only coming to a stop and staring at the boy until he began to look uncomfortable. Moments passed, then he bowed his head.

"S-sorry."

Again, Naruto addressed the whole room without acknowledging that moment, further. "But Orochimaru ain't just going to let you off the hook. You better expect that every moment of your life, he will be right around the next corner. It ain't fun, but that's the reality of your situation."

"Sure," Kidomaru spoke up slowly. "But isn't that why we came to Konoha in the first place? For protection?" Eyeing Tayuya, he began to frown. "Right?"

Tayuya began to look uncomfortable, so Naruto took the helm once more. "Yeah, that was the case." Then he hardened. "Before you guys slaughtered a bunch of our men."

Kidomaru winced, but it was Sakon who spoke up. "That's not fair! We didn't ask for that shit!"

"I agree, and I wouldn't hold it against you, personally…" Naruto nodded, his smile brittle. "But objectively speaking, you took the lives of Konoha ninja and spread terror amongst our people. That's also the reality of your situation."

"But-"

"Consider this-" Naruto cut into Sakon's weak argument. "If I lost my mind and killed your brother- do you think you could ever forgive me?"

Sakon's jaw snapped shut, and it was Ukon who begrudgingly shook his head for them both. "No…"

"Even if you knew it had been an accident?"

"... Still no."

"There you have it." Naruto raised his arms, faux helplessness emanating from that one gesture. "Regardless of your intentions, you hurt a lot of people; our people are afraid of you and unwilling to shelter you, and while that may not strictly be your fault, it sure as shit ain't theirs either."

God knew that he understood exactly how unfair that reality really was…

"Trust me when I tell you- I understand," Naruto offered, solemnly. And though a scoff seemed to lace both of their tongues in response, it took only a look exchanged between the twins and himself for them to doubt their doubts.

"So- so we're screwed then, huh?" Kidomaru could only sigh. "Figures. Things were looking a little too great for us; I shoulda known shit would hit the fan."

Sasuke spoke next, the first time since he'd arrived. "And where do we all fit into this?" To Naruto, he nodded, inviting the blonde to confirm his thoughts. "You have a plan for us?"

"Of course I do." Naruto smiled gently, more for Tayuya and her friends than the rest; Sakon and Ukon especially seemed unconvinced, but Tayuya's posture softened with that exchange, his cousin subtly scooting just that little bit closer and looping her arm with his for comfort. "I told you I was doing what I could for you. I got you off the hook."

There was the smallest of pauses, then- "Wait, seriously!?" Kidomaru jumped to his feet, his eyes wide on the verge of manic. "That's incredible! How did you-"

"Sorta."

His face fell. "Ah… There it is."

"Let's be candid for a moment," Naruto offered with a sigh. "I volunteered us to wage war with Orochimaru."

Their reactions were exactly what he expected. Hinata had been there; she was unsurprised. Tayuya startled for a moment, her fist tightening around his sleeve; Anko's grin was bloodthirsty; Sasuke only nodded.

The rest-

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?" It was Kidomaru who exploded first. His shout took him a few paces forward, his seat abandoned to clatter to its side; Kidomaru's stomp took him right up to Naruto in mere moments, the older boy's fist tightening around the collar of Naruto's jacket. "Why in god's name would you assign a bunch of level five grunts like us to take down a raid boss like Orochimaru!? Are you trying to get us killed!?"

Naruto merely raised a brow. "Stand down, please."

"You're being totally unfair here!" Kidomaru hissed, but he nevertheless released his hold. "You owe us some answers, man!"

"I wasn't asking you," Naruto informed him, smoothly. All at once, Kidomaru became very aware of the four presences that had closed in around him. Anko was already stowing her blade; Sasuke smoothly deposited himself right back into his seat, the whirl of his mangekyou sharingan slowing to a halt; Hinata seated herself again neatly beside Naruto, the grip on her fangs already forgotten; lastly, Tayuya breathed a sigh of relief and worried over her flute as tensions ticked down again.

Regardless, the message had been made crystal clear.

"We're all a little tense," Naruto's tone was indulgent. "I wouldn't expect you to take this news without some pushback…" He shrugged. "So let's talk about it."

"Right, okay…" Kidomaru breathed a sigh of relief, casting a glance back to the pale-faced twins who seemed paralyzed in their seats. Looking back to Naruto- "Why the hell would you volunteer us for that?" He near whispered, a harsh lash to his tongue.

"To be frank, 'cuz our council wanted to hang you and this was the only way to save you guys." Naruto's retort came so simply that Kidomaru felt almost foolish for having asked.

"Oh…"

"I told you already: You pissed off a lot of people. You guys-" He cut a glance in Anko's direction. "Agent Anko-"

"Sir!" Anko saluted, a strained smile blooming at the painful reminder.

"And Hinata."

"Y-yes…" Hinata nodded, shame swelling and leaking into her features.

"Tayuya too- even if only by association with you guys. I did not make the decision lightly, believe it…" He shook his head. "Look, my decision was made to protect each of you from the present threat of execution or worse. I won't apologize for that." This time, Naruto's tone was hard. "I don't expect you to be happy about having to face Orochimaru- especially after you guys have already fought so hard to be free of him… But as we've established: he was always going to come after you guys at some point or another; you're loose ends."

"So your genius solution was to throw us right into his open mouth then, huh?" Sakon's whine meant to be fiercer, but he couldn't sound any more than defeated in the face of that news.

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but Tayuya finally cut in, an angry scowl accusing her old teammates. "His 'genius solution' bought you weeks or months where before you had hours. How greedy can you cocksuckers get!?"

"I-" Sakon looked down now, seeming to have no response. His brother though-

"Yeah, well I'd rather not have my life on the line at all!" Ukon snapped, his fury now setting the redhead in his crosshairs. "Don't you dare call us greedy for wanting to live, you idiot! It's your fault we're in this shit in the first place! You dragged us into this mess! You got Jirobo killed-" Tayuya flinched. "You dragged us with you to this place- you promised we'd be safe! You lied!"

"I didn't lie, I just-"

"Yes you did!" Ukon was hysterical, his eyes wet with emotion. "You lied to us all and dragged us into your mess! If you hadn't, maybe Orochimaru wouldn't have-"

"Cut it out already," Naruto's bark wrung the tirade right from the boy's lungs, the former's unimpressed stare freezing any further thought. His own irritation slipped through the cracks of his mask. "Jirobo was fully loyal to Orochimaru and he still betrayed him for shits and giggles; what in god's name makes you think you could have been any more special to Orochimaru than he was?"

"I-" Ukon stammered blindly.

"For that matter- if you're going to blame her for taking you here, then maybe I should blame you for killing those guys? Or have you forgotten that Tayuya's only really in hot water because of the bodies you piled up?"

"That's not fair!" Ukon cried, humiliation teeming in his posture. "Orochimaru made us do that; we weren't in control-"

"Stop talking." The order snapped the other boy's jaw shut without delay; even Ukon himself seemed surprised by his own compliance. "You fucking hypocrite- I haven't heard you say a single fucking word that didn't make me wanna punch you in the face."

"Cool it," Kushina's warning put him back on track. "He's scared, X'omaa. You can't just expect him to be perfectly rational."

"Be RatioNAL," Kumoko croaked, meaningfully.

Right… Very good, Kumoko. Taking a breath- "Look… Everyone around you is busting their asses to protect you. If you can't appreciate that, the least you can do is shut your mouth and let us do that. Help me help us." Naruto didn't wait for any further response, instead moving to address the group as a whole. "Here's the good news: we ain't just going up against Orochimaru all by ourselves. The Hokage has approved a couple of requests of mine already for some aid and resources, and we've also got damn strong leadership."

As if on queue, the door slid open; its 'click' led the steady 'rap' of cane against the floor- that sound announcing the arrival of a grisled, elderly man. Following closely behind was a young man, seeming about Naruto's age; his skin was stark white, as if bleached entirely of natural pigment. His hair, dark and orderly, was cut almost clerically into a nondescript bowl, his front bangs parted just enough to showcase their village's insignia etched professionally across the band on his forehead.

Naruto raised a brow, taking in his state of dress.

"Looks like you've got yourself an admirer!" Kushina cooed, pearls of laughter tumbling into the cup of her hand.

Sure enough, the boy seemed to be wearing the exact same thing that Naruto had worn to the Chunin exams- from the stylishly cut pants to the crop top vest; he even wore some facsimile of his beloved poncho that Hinata had made for him- same color and all.

"Er- hi?" Naruto offered lamely as the two visitors stopped before him.

"Good morning," Danzo offered him, a polite nod accompanied by a smile that was as fake as the damn cast around his arm- if their chakra sensitivity was to be believed. As if rehearsed, a similar grin slipped into place across the face of the accompanying boy, his dark eyes closing off from the rest of the room. "I hope we aren't late?"

Recovering himself, Naruto did not acknowledge that half-question, for he knew as sure as the sun rose and fell that Danzo and his boy had arrived long ago. Instead, he turned to look over the boy. "So this is him, then?"

Danzo did not miss a beat. "Yes." Gesturing for the boy to approach, he added- "This is Sai. He is very capable."

Naruto didn't doubt it. The boy's chakra possessed that same clinical presence that the rest of his demeanor portrayed.

Orderly, to a fault.

"His chakra control is perfect- artificially so; it's rigid, like drawing lines with a ruler."

Likely the work of seals on his person, forcibly adjusting his flow; that, or some brutal, standardized training regimen. Whatever it was- it wasn't even close to natural.

Outwardly, Naruto only smiled. "Sai, huh?" To the boy in question, Naruto offered a hand in a clear gesture. "I hope we can get along then, Sai."

Sai stared at his face for a moment too long before he glanced down at the offered gesture; Naruto noted the way the boy's eyes roved over him- enjoyed the tiniest flutter of frustration in the boy's chakra as that search found none of its goals.

No weapons; no armor or protection to speak of.

"Womp womp!" Kushina cackled.

"WoMP wOMp!" Kumiko croaked in solidarity.

Just as quickly as that spark of frustration had fluttered up in Sai, it was washed away in that orderly ocean of apathy, and the boy's smile widened- a little too wide to be real- and took his hand. "Good afternoon. Lord Danzo has told me much about you."

This time, Naruto was not subtle about looking the boy up and down. He matched Sai's smile, down to the detail. "I'm flattered."

Then their moment was over, and Naruto addressed the whole once more. "Our Lady Hokage has assigned the role of leadership as a joint operation between myself and Danzo Shimura; for those of you who don't know, he is a decorated war hero with more experience in his lifetime than this entire room has in total. Treat him with the very same respect as you would, myself."

He knew immediately that the stress on that word had been mostly understood. Sasuke's stare became more calculating- wary, as he observed the smiling Danzo; Naruto observed a similar shift in the chakras of Hinata and Tayuya. Even Anko seemed to nearly frown for a split moment before she was all smiles once more.

"Sir!" she confirmed with a crisp salute. Naruto raised a brow at the way that Sai analyzed the woman, awkwardly raising his arm to mirror her gesture.

"Shimura-san is not only a mentor, but also serves as our sponsor for our efforts; he will ensure that we receive any additional supplies or support that we need while on the move. Sai will serve as our liaison between myself and Shimura-san."

He received nods, and nothing else, so Naruto decided to wrap things up.

"Make any last-minute preparations you need; we deploy in two days- six, sharp!"

Anko raised her hand. "Sir! Where to, sir!"

Naruto smiled, indulgently. "Very good question, Agent Anko!" Naruto cut a glance, Sasuke's way. "We deploy to Wave."

---

"So why Wave?" Tayuya had asked him nearly as soon as the rest had left, leaving only Naruto, Hinata, and herself left in the room.

"What, you don't want to get oiled up and play volleyball on the beach-side?" Naruto smiled as he gathered his things.

"Not if Orochimaru is joining," Tayuya snipped, pouting; Naruto's smile slipped a bit at that, choosing his next words a bit more wisely.

"It's precisely because of Orochimaru that I'm choosing Wave." He breathed a tired sigh, finally turning to regard the girl in serious form. "Kidomaru was right about one thing: try as we might, we simply ain't fucking with Orochimaru and what he's packing. He's got a whole country behind him. If we try to deploy straight to Rice country, even for subtler operations, we'll be caught and slaughtered quick, fast, and in a hurry."

"T-then…" Hinata spoke up, worrying her lip when Naruto turned to face her. "Why jump the gun and deploy at all? Wouldn't it… It'd be safer to prepare within the village, no?"

Well… That had been his plan, until things had spiraled. "Because tensions are high as giraffe pussy, and keeping Tayuya's friends in the village is a recipe for disaster."

"HiGH As GirAFFE-"

Not that one, Kumoko.

"NOt tHAt One, KUmoko?"

Tayuya looked away, now seeming ashamed. "M-my bad."

"Don't apologize." Naruto cupped her cheek and turned her back his way, gracing her with a smile. "It really ain't your fault." Then he gestured with his other arm, beckoning Hinata closer; when she did, he pulled her in, kissing her forehead with his own. "It ain't either of your faults… But we can't stay in Konoha right now."

Regardless of Hiashi's own motives, the Hyuga clan would not tolerate Hinata being allowed to roam without consequence. What's more, Sakura had been keeping an ear down for him; public sentiment wasn't looking good, as news spread further of the attack.

"I had planned to set up camp in Shikkotsu forest with Katsuyu-san." Because he had always planned to go after Orochimaru; what's more, the presence of that group that Itachi belonged to-

"Akatsuki," Kushina reminded him.

Right… Akatsuki. With them on the prowl, Naruto especially didn't like his odds getting sandwiched between them and Orochimaru's forces. But Konoha simply could not handle a full assault from an organization full of S-ranked ninja- surely not while also attempting to wage war.

And that was exactly why it had to be done this way. Leaf could not afford to spare the resources needed for all out war, nor could it afford the risk that his presence posed.

So he'd kill two birds with one stone.

"We'll just have to work a miracle." Kushina shrugged, Kumoko miming her accordingly.

"WoRK a miRAcle."

He'd even broached the topic with Katsuyu, herself. "But timetables got a little fast, and I needed Danzo's support to get this thing off the ground… Which means I gotta play ball with him," He mourned, pouting.

"Right…" Tayuya looked to Hinata, and the two shared a frown. "And how does Danzo's involvement mess with your plans?"

Naruto's frown joined the pair. "Well I sure as shit ain't bringing one of Danzo's men to Katsuyu's domain."

The realms that bosses like Katsuyu called home were hardly the type of places that just anybody could gain access to. For damn good reason, too.

"I'm entitled to visit, 'cuz she's my patron; she approved me to bring a few extra bodies, subject to her discretion-" Then Naruto frowned. "But that Sai fellow is a flight risk, and I ain't about to let him or Danzo make trouble for Katsuyu-san… So it has to be Wave."

At least until he could neutralize that threat… But how to do that without getting Danzo on his back?

Tsunade's orders rang clearly in his head.

"Jiraiya is scheduled to meet you in Wave Country on the first of the coming month. He will arrive by ship to collect you guys."

That was two weeks on the dot.

"I've got a contact in Wave who I've made arrangements with. We'll set up shop there while we wait for Jiraiya." Then, Naruto gave Tayuya a meaningful look. "And while we're out of the village, I can finally start teaching you a thing or two without so much risk of prying eyes." Then he gave Hinata a similar look. "Do you have anything you want to do before we leave?"

---

Her rap against the door was met near-immediately with invitation.

"Come in."

Hinata inched her way inside with hesitance; she knew what she would find in her father's hospital room- had seen it clear as day when he'd arrived at the council's meeting.

Somehow, it didn't prepare her at all for the sight that met her on entrance.

"H-hello…" Hinata scanned the bedridden image of her father. Somehow, his wounds seemed more real, accompanied now by the sobering sight of a hospital room's background. "M-may I-"

"I told you to come in," Hiashi's rebuke was firm- almost unkind, until he sighed and adjusted himself. "Please come in."

"Y-yeah…" She stepped inside, glancing back conspicuously.

Technically, she really wasn't supposed to even be there; if the wrong people got a whiff of her presence at the hospital- especially when the damage of her tantrum had not yet even been repaired…

"Try not to attract too many eyes, alright?"

She had promised Naruto to be cautious, in exchange for his help in sneaking inside.

Hiashi watched her for several long moments, his stoicism urging her to speak. Hinata remained stubbornly silent, glancing this way and that, so as to avoid the piercing stare of her bedridden father.

"I'm surprised to see you," He finally decided, perhaps taking mercy on her temperament. "Are you- are you well?"

'Well?' Hell no. 'Bold Hinata' chuckled inwardly, something derisive in that gesture; it did not make it past her lips.

"I'm fine," She decided, solemnly.

"... You're quite the liar." Hiashi's accusation made her flinch, and this time the pull of a sneer won the tug of war on her heart.

"Why ask me if you're not going to believe me?" And Hiashi seemed surprised at the frustration in her tone.

"Why?" He mulled over that thought for a moment, his 'better' arm thumbing his chin; Hinata couldn't help the way her eyes followed the pattern of bandaging that wrapped his limb. "Because it's right, I suppose?"

"... Right?"

"To ask," He amended. "It's right to ask."

Right to ask- what about any of this was right!? Hinata shook her head until it hurt. "I don't- I didn't-!" She whined, and the way Hiashi startled at that sound- "I shouldn't have-"

"Hinata." One word, and Hinata's jaw snapped shut.

When she'd been a child, just the threat of her father's displeasure could send her scrambling for relief. Now, even wrapped like a corpse in an elevated hospital bed like he was, she found to her frustration that some things never changed.

"... Hinata-" Hiashi spoke her name again, but this time it was softer- feather light in a way she had rarely heard from him. "Don't apologize. Please don't apologize… Not to me."

"I-" What did she even say to that?

But her father wasn't finished. "I'm the one who should be sorry." He struggled to lean up, catching her gaze with his own steady stare. "You said it yourself: I have failed you most spectacularly in every metric that matters." Hiashi's face twisted like he had bitten into something sour. "I don't want to make excuses. It simply is what it is… I alone should bear the responsibility here."

Responsibility, huh? There was something so infuriating in that clinical way that he spoke. Hinata shook her head and smiled, sardonically.

Once, she had wished desperately for a moment like this. Now, it was everything she had, not to scoff.

"It's okay-"

"It's not," Hiashi urged, his tone firm.

She frowned "It's fine-"

"It's not!" Hiashi snapped, now. Hinata flinched, and her father twisted again, something pained painting its colors across the pale canvas of his face. "I am your father," Hiashi urged, now seeming almost desperate. "I wanted- I hoped that you would-" He cut himself off again, hanging his head. "Never. I have never hated you… If you truly believed that I did- for even a moment, then I have failed you."

Of course he had. But what exactly did he expect her to say?

"I-"

'I forgive you.'

She didn't. She couldn't.

"I…" Hinata swallowed the venom on her tongue, but it rushed back up just as fast. "I hate you." She could spot the subtle clench of her father's jaw as he bore that blow. "I-I-" She stammered, floundering for a moment; terror laid its weight on her chest for a moment, anticipating his fury. But seeing him, strung up and pained- vulnerable… "I wish that I could say that I don't… I wish I could tell you 'I forgive you', and we could-" A shrug. "I don't know… Something better. But I can't."

"I know," Hiashi uttered back.

"I hate you," Something petty- almost cruel stuck in her throat, and she hated it just as much as it comforted her. This time, it was the crack in a dam- as much a relief as it did, shame her. "I hate you!" She hissed again. "I hate you, and I hate that I hate you! And I hate, hate, hate that you made me hate you!" Hinata hiccupped, pacing back once to brace herself against the wall.

She was feeling dizzy again.

"I hate that you make me feel small- worthless!" Hinata wheezed, clutching her head. "I hate that I flinch when you enter a room! I hate that I dread the sound of your voice! I hate lemon ginger, and I hate that I look at you, wrapped like the dead in a hospital bed, and I have to swallow the fucking fact that I did that to you!" Her fist smashed into the wall, crumbling debris; it flew free, scattering into her hair and clothes, but she paid it no mind in favor of the painful heave in her chest as she tried to breathe.

When the knife's edge of her emotions had dulled just that necessary bit- "I-" She let loose a shaky breath. "I almost killed you," Hinata whined.

"It's… It's nothing that I didn't deserve," Hiashi croaked back, and without warning, rage scalded her belly.

"Do you think I want to hear that!?" Hinata jumped back to her feet. "Do you think I give a shit about what you think!? This isn't about you!"

It was about her! Her mistakes! Her pettiness; her ugliness! Why did he always have to make it about himself!?

"I'm sorry…"

"Shut up!" Hinata clutched her chest and wobbled, gripping the wall like a lifeline. "I don't want your apologies!"

They were too late. Much too late.

"I want- I want…" Hinata screamed again- this wordless, painful half-sob which carried no rhyme or reason to it.

Hiashi waited patiently, letting her scream herself hoarse at him. When at last her emotions had begun to die again, he asked- "What do you want, then?"

"I-" Hinata's hurt filled every inch of her, but even moments later after she'd thought and thought again-

She shrugged. "I just… Want Hanabi to have better."

Because Hinata knew so, so intimately that she was far, far too late to fix.

"Don't do to her what you did to me."

---

Lord Danzo's orders had been explicit.

"While you are under the leadership of Naruto Uzumaki, I expect you to serve him well."

Of course he would. Sai would never presume to do anything less.

"Shadow him; observe him; learn from him."

He would- he had. In the days leading past their first meeting, he had done just as his lord had bid- had shadowed and observed, and learned from the object of his master's interest.

Naruto Uzumaki was a curious fellow.

Beautiful.

Confident.

Dangerous.

Their footsteps 'clicked' in sync across the heightened footholds of Konoha's forestry. They had assembled early, as per their leader's orders.

"I ain't gonna handhold you guys. Make sure you keep up," Was all their leader had told them before he'd set the pace.

Sai quite liked that about him. Naruto Uzumaki did not mince words. It was familiar- comfortable, even.

That was about the point that he stopped making sense though, and now that Pandora's box was opened, Sai found no hope in solving this particular puzzle for himself.

Naruto Uzumaki did not seem to carry any weapons on his person; no armor or tools to speak of. His state of dress seemed wildly impractical; what's more, he wore overt, sweet-smelling scents and seemed to fret often over his appearance.

That was just the start:

Naruto Uzumaki smiled constantly- his lips twisted always with this unflappable amusement, as if by some joke that only he was privy to. There were odd, subtle differences to his smiles, such that Sai had begun to take detailed, picturesque notes of those subtleties to better aid his study. But the foremost truth was that they were almost always present in some form or another.

How was his face not hurting?

What's more, Naruto Uzumaki seemed to effortlessly understand his comrades and their temperaments. Yet, he needled them constantly, always accompanied with a particular sort of grin. He had weird sayings and 'inside jokes', as Tayuya Uzumaki had called them- sayings or references that only they seemed to know or dare to tread.

Sai was not unfamiliar with the idea of secret codes or double-speak, though he wasn't sure of the tactical advantage behind insulting the size of Tayuya Uzumaki's chest. Nor did he understand why she always seemed to snap right back at him in one breath, only to jump straight to lingering so close or laughing so loudly, only moments later.

He had tried, himself, only once that morning.

"Good morning, ninja Ken-doll," Sai greeted Tayuya warmly, taking care to mimic the exact words and inflection of Naruto Uzumaki.

He was good at mimicry- had studied and practiced that exact delivery for hours, the evening before.

The swelling of his eye from where she had punched him spoke clear enough that he was missing something integral to the interaction.

"So…" Naruto Uzumaki finally seemed ready to address the issue as they moved, the effeminate boy lazily looking over the furious scowl that Tayuya Uzumaki kept giving Sai. "Why'd you punch him?"

"He called me flat!"

"You are flat," Naruto rebutted immediately.

"Shut up!"

Now to Sai- "Why'd you call her flat?"

Sai smiled, smoothly compartmentalizing the pain in his eye as it clenched. "Forgive me. I appear to have made an error." Naruto only continued to smile at him, and Sai felt compelled to continue in his explanation. "I was simply trying to make polite conversation."

"By calling her flat?"

"It seemed… Appropriate at the time."

"So a misunderstanding then." Naruto glanced after Tayuya, amusement quirking endlessly at his lips. "So we good then?"

"No!" Tayuya huffed. "It's still a dick move, ya know!"

"What's the problem?" Naruto asked her, gently. "He's sorry- it was a misunderstanding. What's got your panties in a twist?"

"That's- that's our thing!" Tayuya snapped back immediately. "It ain't cute or funny when someone else does it! It's just fucked up!"

Sai frowned.

That made… No sense. "So it's entertaining when our commander does it, but cruel when I do it?"

Now, Sasuke Uchiha scoffed. "Obviously. That's how close relationships work."

Relationships? Sai's frown only deepened. "Would you elucidate for me?"

But Sasuke Uchiha had already looked away again, having lost interest in the conversation. Sai glanced after the other two; Naruto Uzumaki and Tayuya Uzumaki as well seemed to have considered the conversation closed, the latter already right back to laughing and trading barbs over something their leader had said.

"How curious…"

Things did not seem to grow any less confusing as they slowed that evening to a simple walk. Sai watched with interest as their commander sidled up to Hinata Hyuga, licking her cheek to make the girl jump. Her wide eyes found him for only a moment before precious pearls of laughter began to roll out from her.

It was the first sound he had heard her make all day.

Did… Did she like to be licked?

"Yeah, don't try it, buddy boy." Anko Mitarashi's laughing rebuke severed him from his thoughts; he glanced her way, his practiced smile- just like their commander- slipping into place.

"Pardon?"

Anko Mitarashi scoffed. "If you try licking her, someone is gonna rip your tongue out."

That gave him pause. "Is that a 'close relationship' thing?"

"Mhm…" The Special Jonin began to walk ahead of him. "And quit trying to smile like him. You ain't nearly pretty enough to pull it off."

Now Sai blinked.

Ah, so physical attractiveness was the key. Humans typically used such details to determine the value of members within their communities. It made sense then that their commander, a capable ninja with attractive physical characteristics, would possess a greater range of freedoms amongst his colleagues than Sai would.

"Thank you for educating me," Sai nodded, earnestly; Anko Mitarashi only snickered.

"Sure, sure…"

They met their destination that very same evening, courtesy of the grueling pace their commander had set for them. Sai would not dare to complain. Though, again, he found his curiosity charged by the oddities of their company.

"Alright, now why the fuck did you have us dashing like we've got the devil on our heels?" Tayuya Uzumaki whined as they passed over the bridge- this utterly massive thing, whose dimensions very well dwarfed anything Sai had ever seen.

"My bad. I thought you could handle it," Naruto cooed back at Tayuya with a smile.

"Not all of us have slug-mommy slipping chemical x into our daily estrogen supplements, jackass!" Tayuya's growl was accompanied by her all but dumping herself into his arms; Naruto Uzumaki did not so much as stumble before he had slung the young woman over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Sai found that he was not alone this time in his discomfort with their dynamics. The many-armed boy- Sai subtly checked his notes. Kidomaru seemed equally disquieted with that exchange; a subtle glance at the other Sound-village refugees, Sakon and Ukon, discovered an open sneer mirrored on both of their faces.

"Hinata isn't complaining," Naruto Uzumaki told her, waving off her discontent.

"Princess is as much a freak of nature as you are."

"Neither is Sasuke."

"Your brooding side-piece looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel."

Sasuke scoffed, subtly wiping the sweat from his own brow. "I'm fine."

Finally Sai could hold his tongue no longer. "It is not our place to question the orders of our leading commander," He reminded her gently- his tone deliberately reminiscent of the commander in question.

"Our 'leading commander' can tongue wash my ass," Tayuya grumbled, petulantly. "And quit trying to sound like him, asshole!"

That was twice now that he had been rebuked for his mimicry… Was he really that transparent?

"And another thing-!" Tayuya carried on, her voice rising to something close to a shout.

"Tayuya," Naruto Uzumaki's warning stopped there, but it was all it took for the girl to fall quiet with a muttered 'My bad…'

Odd… Were any of his old colleagues to have spoken of Lord Danzo in such a way, Sai did not doubt that he would take their tongues. Did their commander not feel any urgency in enforcing his authority? What's more- the way that Tayuya Uzumaki restrained herself at his word alone-

"We're approaching the first checkpoint," Naruto Uzumaki told them. "Sasuke, you take point; they'll recognize you better."

Moving to obey- "Maybe they'd recognize you better if you weren't dolled up like the village's painted bicycle," Sasuke Uchiha snipped back with a snort.

"Fuck you. Hinata dear, please use your magic eyeballs to-"

"Magic eyeballs are a go!" Hinata Hyuga responded with something that was halfway close to a giggle. Sai did not fully trust its authenticity, though even he could validate the affection in her gaze for their commander. The veins around her optics bulged with signs of her activation. "Bridge is clear."

Odd indeed, Sai decided. Each of the people present had at some point or another challenged their leader's authority- with jokes and japes; snide remarks or pointless arguments… Yet, at the same time they all obeyed his word without question. Was this simply a byproduct of his higher status, like Anko Mitarashi had hinted? Or was there something more to this byplay?

They stopped at the first checkpoint, and as predicted by their commander's wisdom, the person manning the toll booth- a thin, graying man with a few loose teeth- immediately seemed to recognize the face of Sasuke Uchiha. He ushered their group past without the standard call for payment or even identification.

Why set a booth, only to bypass their functions anyways?

Seeming to notice Sai's confusions, Naruto Uzumaki deigned to answer them. "We're good friends of the people here; Sasuke and I came here for our first big mission- whacked some rich bastard and ran his pockets.

Sai did not understand half of his leader's 'lingo'. "Whacked as in… Killed?" And why were his pockets running? Some form of cloth-based puppetry, perhaps?

Naruto Uzumaki nodded with a shrug. "Technically, Zabuza did it- but I guess the details don't really matter."

Well, he supposed it made sense that a ninja as fine and decorated as the Demon of the Mist might possess some unique sort of ninja arts.

"Golly gee, imagine saving a country as your first real mission!" Anko Mitarashi laughed. "My first mission had me herding bears."

Their commander frowned. "Doesn't seem like much of a C-rank to me?"

"The bears were doped up on a couple kilos of ninja coke."

"A-ah…"

"Yepperino! You think you've seen it all, 'til a freaking bear tries to bicycle kick your bloody head off!" She sighed, almost fondly. "Good times…"

Sai felt the bulk of his question would remain unanswered if he did not interject. "But I don't understand. You simply did your job. These people have no reason to be indebted to you for simply fulfilling your function…"

Right?

Naruto Uzumaki chuckled. "Maybe to you."

And though he could not exactly discern how, Sai could not help but anticipate that he had been insulted.

How curious…

---

"Wave is an interesting choice."

Naruto hummed noncommittally at Tsunade's not-question. She knew his logic sure enough that it did not need repeating.

"You disagree?" He finally settled on, because he knew just as sure that she did.

"It's not a terrible decision," Tsunade allowed, hesitantly. "Securing the bridge is a fine move: Easy access to the ocean and its resources, and we'd have plenty of allies. Setting up a base of operations there would allow us a lot of options in the short term."

"But?"

"But your goal is what I'm disagreeing with," She decided, more firmly. "You aren't going to find anything worthwhile taking a detour to Uzu; you know this."

Of course he did. Kana's memory was branded to his heart just as grossly as the day that he fell. They had burned everything of value- seared all that they could into the seal, then cast it into the flames. Everything else had been trampled to death by the invasion.

Well, everything of material value, he supposed.

"Wave is far out of the way to begin with; you don't have time to be stalling, little spiral."

Naruto shook his head. "You ain't looking at the full picture."

Tsunade frowned. "Enlighten me."

---

The door opened only a crack for a moment, an off-brown, beady eye glaring their way. Then it widened, and the thing shot open; an old, gruff-looking man crossed the threshold with a laugh.

"Hey, it's you!" His calloused palm thumped Sasuke's shoulder, a wide, toothy grin greeting the boy. "It's good to see you, Sasuke!" Sasuke nodded, the shortest makings of a smile touching his lips.

"Hello Tazuna-san," He uttered back, something almost shy creeping past that meticulous stoicism of his.

The old man peered past the raven-haired boy, eyes passing over every present face. "New team, huh? I thought at least the blonde shrimp would have been with you, huh?" Tazuna frowned, making a terrible show of trying to remember something. "What was his name? Nardo Uzuhiko or something like that?"

Sasuke snickered, and their commander scoffed. "You know damn well what my name is, you old sack of shit," Naruto Uzumaki huffed, and several of his company blanched as he stepped forth, towering nearly a full head over Sasuke as he sidled up to the boy. "You named your whole damn bridge after me, ya know!"

Tazuna's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, looking Naruto up and down. "Er- you- uh… You look- er, hi?"

Then Naruto smiled. "Heya. Mind if we come in?"

Again, the old man seemed to glance around, before waving for the group to enter.

"You'll have to excuse us," Tazuna pled with an awkward sort of laugh. "Got your letter, but we ain't quite had time to fully prepare for your arrival!"

"Letter?" Sasuke glanced to Naruto, tilting his head slightly in question. "You called ahead?"

Naruto's smile was unphased. "I figured if we were coming to Wave again, we might as well link up with some old friends, is all."

"So you know this guy, then," Kidomaru said aloud, more for everyone's sake than his own. With that established, he offered Tazuna a short bow. "Hello. Thank you for your hospitality."

Tazuna scoffed, turning a glare Naruto's way. "Why is it that everyone but you seems to have some manners to them."

Naruto gave a long roll of his eyes. "Because I only kiss ass with people I don't like. But if you really want me to-" Then, he clasped his hands and batted his long lashes, a close-mouthed smile finalizing a shift in demeanor. "A thousand-and-one thanks for your hospitality, honorable Tazuna-san. If there's anything we can do to reward your most generous- most gracious act of kindness, please, please allow us to-"

"Nope," Tazuna cut in, both arms extended- palms up as if to ward the boy away. "Point taken. Go back to calling me old."

Naruto was back like a switch had flipped. "Yeah, that." He turned now, facing his team as if that interaction had not even taken place. "We ain't here for free, so don't go getting yourselves too comfortable. I'll brief you in full on the details once we're settled down a little."

Tazuna jumped in again. "You got here damn late; my family's already asleep." He gestured with his head in a direction, and the rest of them could take the hint. "We've got a place set up for you, but the polish ain't quite done just yet… Sorry."

Naruto only waved him off. "We got here early; that ain't your fault. Can you show it to us?"

Their old host only nodded, kicking on some sandals and bustling past their group; Naruto fell in step with the man, and they followed.

"See, we've run into a bit of a pest problem again," Tazuna told the blonde after a few moments of silence. "When Gatō got axed, a lot of his men jumped ship; we thought 'they'd be idiots to come back without their leader!'"

Naruto snorted. "Your first mistake was thinking they weren't idiots. Your second was thinking they wouldn't find another do-nothing piece of shit to rally behind."

"Yeah, yeah…" Tazuna groaned. "It's not as bad as it was before; they've only been running amok a couple of days now- mostly just harassing the locals. They've gone and holed themselves up in some of our old warehouses; they mostly come out at night to shake down any stragglers." A shrug. "But we know damn well now how quick that shit can spiral now; if you hadn't reached out to me, you can bet your Hokage-Lady would have gotten a letter from us. Awfully good timing on your part, kid."

Naruto only raised a brow, something knowing in his gaze.

"Er- well, in any case, the deal is this-" Tazuna stopped in front of a large building. It was a bit run down, with bits of splinter sticking out in some places. The sliding door that made its entrance was scuffed and damaged, and the surrounding yard was mostly barren. "You cut out the rot for us- for good this time. Make sure those pricks won't get another chance to bother us, and this lot here is yours; use it, decorate it, sell it- whatever you want. A good deal, yeah?

"Yeah!" Naruto's smile was infectious now, and Tazuna let out a laugh.

"That's the spirit! Now I know the place looks a bit rough, but that's mostly 'cuz we didn't get to finish all the detailing outside! Rest assured the building's in top condition; the inside looks a lot better, too!"

"I'm sure we'll manage." Now, Naruto stepped forth, subtly flexing his fingers before shaking Tazuna's hand with deliberate gentleness. "Thanks for the help, really."

"You know damn well this is the least I could do for you," The man mumbled, flicking his attention Sasuke's way to share a nod with the quiet Uchiha. "Both of you… Stop by in the morning; Tsunami and Inari both would be overjoyed to see you guys again. The kid hasn't stopped yapping about you since I told them you were coming!" Then, as if by afterthought- "Er- your friends can come by too!"

Then he left in a hurry, a half-jog taking the man back the way he had come. Naruto watched him go for a long moment, then shook his head and turned to his squad.

"Alright, in," He urged, jutting his head for extra emphasis. "Let's chat."

---

Tazuna was right on the money about the state of the place. The building was rough, tell-tale signs of unfinished detailing singing a story of what it must have been before they had started at all.

"It was probably an old safehouse, much like the ones their pests have commandeered."

Naruto had to agree with his mother's sentiment. He remembered well just how run-down Wave had been, their first time around.

Even with their freedom and the time to enjoy it, the abundance of buildings like this was proof enough that Gatō's blight could not be so easily removed- not just by cutting the head off the snake. It was a reminder of just how much damage one man's selfishness could bring, if left unchecked.

"All the more reason that we need to move fast." Kushina sighed. "I trust your judgment, but you should know better than most that we can't afford to dally here too long, X'omaa."

Yeah. "Here's the deal," Naruto raised his voice to address them all, pacing forward a few more steps to take the center of the room. Furnishings in this room were light- limited to just a derelict old table and a handful of chairs; Naruto carefully sat himself at the end of his table, turning to face the rest and neatly crossing one leg over the other. "You heard the deal from Tazuna-san: We've got a pest problem- some cocksuckers from Gatō's reign. We're taking them down." His gaze ran a scan across every member of his team, taking in their consensus.

"Does anybody have a question for me?" He knew that they did.

"Fine, I'll bite," Kidomaru volunteered. "I was under the impression that we were running headfirst into the meat grinder that is Orochimaru."

Clearly, he was still a bit bitter about that detail.

"So why do you have us doing some pest control with a bunch of low-lives?"

Now that was the question, wasn't it? "Do you want the long version, or the short version?"

"Whichever version makes the most sense." Kidomaru shrugged, and Naruto could see that the sentiment was shared.

"The long version then." He shrugged right back. "The path to Rice Country is locked down like you wouldn't believe. Anko?"

"Sir!" Anko saluted, a slight snicker breaking her character for only a moment before she had approached, digging into her bag to provide a thick folder. "As instructed, I have guarded this with my very life, sir!"

They were just copies, but if Anko was going to insist on the bit, he wasn't going to fight her on it. "At ease, Agent Anko. Your efforts are duly noted." He accepted the folder from her, sifting through it all.

Pointless, really; he had read every page, front-to-back. "This-" Naruto waved the thing after a moment. "Is a compilation of everything our leading spymaster was able to pull from his position in Rice. Stations, production bases and the major powers that Orochimaru has presiding over them."

Included in the documents were copies of legal papers; missives to neighboring holds; reports and records of interrogations- the information was incomplete; not even someone of Jiraiya's caliber could be expected to crack open an entire country without fault. Still, there was enough to at least get the gist. "I've reviewed it all and determined that we sure as shit ain't just waltzing our asses in."

Who would've guessed!?

"Sir! Have you considered being very sneaky?" Anko's grin was met with one of his own.

"As a matter of fact, that was the second thing I considered." Then he sighed. "The reality of the situation is that Orochimaru knows we're coming; he'd be stupid not to." A shrug. "Unfortunately, we don't exactly have the luxury of just not showing up, meaning all he has to do is wait for our play. Since the burden is on us, that means we're also at a disadvantage."

"Right… All the super boss has to do is wait for us to screw up." Kidomaru pinched his brow. "And once we do, it's game over. Wonderful!"

"It's not so bad," Naruto assured him. Kidomaru scowled at him, and the former's lips quirked with amusement. "Really, it ain't. We've got a few advantages as well."

"Really? Like what?" He really didn't mean to come off so aggressive, but Kidomaru had to admit that Naruto's smile was seriously starting to wear on him.

"Well for starters, Orochimaru is surely expecting us to pass through the border to hit Rice Country." Naruto raised a palm.

A little bit of yin-release, woven and projected upward- he channeled it through the seal on his palm, repurposing the display on the fly: From his upturned palm, a grainy map began to rise. "Excuse the quality; the thing's gonna be a bit buggy."

It wasn't quite as simple to project images from memory; he'd need to work on it a bit more- that, or program an actual physical map into an external database.

"Later," Kushina urged him.

Right… For now, this alone was enough for them to see.

"Rice, and Sound by proxy, are surrounded on all sides by minor powers- the most prevalent being Waterfall and the Land of Hot Springs." Naruto paused for just a moment to make sure that they were following. It was Hinata who volunteered her voice first.

"W-well Waterfall is one of our allies, isn't it? Couldn't we look to them for help?"

Naruto frowned. "I considered it- but honestly, I don't trust it." Sensing her confusion, he continued. "It's true that Waterfall is supposed to be one of our allies, but so was Sand, and they betrayed us at Orochimaru's word."

With that, Hinata's eyes widened, then she nodded. "A-ah…"

"Yeah…" Shaking his head, he added- "Especially in the case of minor villages- there's no telling how deep Orochimaru's influence might be in those places. Since they're neighbors, it's more likely than not that they have some kinds of agreements- even if it's just general non-aggression pacts, ya know? Trust me, Waterfall was actually the first place I considered."

If anything, it was still on his list- potentially as an escape route if they needed it.

Moving on- "It also just so happens that Hot Springs serves as a border between us and Cloud. Attempting to pass through there unannounced could be seen as an act of aggression, even if we never directly step foot in Kumo's territory." Cloud had a long history of jealously guarding their foothold in Hot Springs. "Attempting to use it as a means to infiltrate another Hidden Village for the sake of war could legitimately see us get pincered and attacked by Cloud ninja, purely on principle.

Sasuke leaned forward a bit, his sharingan eyes memorizing the map's layout. "And the Valley of the End is a straight shot, and the most likely to see resistance."

"Not just resistance. Since our paths are so limited-"

"We'd be walking into a blender, just like Arms said," Tayuya finished for him, now seeming frustrated. "So what's the plan then?"

"Oh that's the easy part." Now, Naruto let out a sharp, unflattering laugh. "We just go around them all!"

"Around?" Sakon and Ukon both uttered, equally disbelieving. Ukon took over, his frustration evident. "You want us to swim around several countries!?"

Naruto blinked slowly, then stared at the two of them with something close to exasperation. "Why the fuck would we swim?"

"That's- I-"

"We're taking a boat." Naruto told them all with a roll of his eyes. "Have a little faith in me; I ain't doing any of this half-cocked."

"Pardon me?" Sai finally spoke up, hunching forward, himself, to stare into Naruto's projection. "Is it at all possible that the enemy could anticipate that we might go around?"

Now, Naruto smiled even wider. "Absolutely. But see, that's what I'm banking on."

Sai wasn't following, and his expression must have said as much. "Then why-"

"Because now Orochimaru has to choose," Naruto told him with a laugh. "Do we come from the front, or from the back? Orochimaru must either choose, or protect both, and that's where Danzo-san and your importance comes in, Sai."

His importance? Lord Danzo had explicitly ordered him to obey and study Naruto Uzumaki as his commanding officer. Was this what he'd meant?

"While we circle around to flank Sound's waters via boat, you'll issue the signal for a frontal assault through Rice Country's borders." Naruto clapped his fist into his palm. "We'll use the commotion to slip into the country proper by way of their border with the Land of Snow- pincer his forces and slowly close the noose around his neck in tandem with Danzo-san and his people." This time, when Naruto smiled, it carried this warmth to it that made Sai feel inexplicably nervous. He stole a glance around, finding a little bit of confidence in the shared confusion among his other comrades. Hinata Hyuga stared at their leader for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then, her attention flicked to him, an encouraging smile weaving into place. "For this mission, you'll be our greatest asset, believe it!"

Sai thought about that for a moment. The plan was solid. Force the enemy to divert its attention, then launch a joint attack from multiple vulnerable points to limit their defenses. If they infiltrated from Snow Country, they would be able to seize communications between Snow, one of Sound's most prominent traders; from there, they could starve Orochimaru and his people of resources while Lord Danzo did the same from their own frontmost borders. Konoha could put pressure on Waterfall to seize any trades with Rice Country, effectively starving the Sound Village of two of its most accessible sources of income and resources. From there, the burden would be on Orochimaru to respond, instead.

On a purely technical level, the maneuver was genius- exactly what Lord Danzo would have approved of.

"I am humbled by your wisdom," Sai finally told his commander, deeply bowing his head. This time, Naruto only tilted his head, something reminiscent of amusement clinging to his smile.

"Right, and that's all well and good," Kidomaru started, slowly. "But how does any of that tie into us doing a bunch of grunt work for a bunch of fishermen?"

Anko raised her hand into a crisp salute. "Sir! May I edu-micate our associates!?" At Naruto's laughing gesture, she finally broke character to address Kidomaru far more seriously. "Wave's got plenty of access to the Ocean, for starters. More importantly though, it's the broadest path around Cloud. We ain't getting off the ground without access to these guys' waters."

"And while we wait for our ride, this is a perfect opportunity for me to understand exactly what you guys can do," Naruto took over again, making a deliberate, sweeping glance at every face. "I can't direct you guys without knowing all that I'm working with. So consider this your auditions." Then, Naruto scooted from the edge of the table, once again standing to brush himself off. "We'll talk more in the morning. Get some rest."

---

The work of an Akatsuki operative came down mostly to mercenary work. They were mobile, operating in pairs and often with little oversight beyond the occasional report. If only for that reason, the position was honestly quite flexible; not much to complain about with a job that mostly left you to your own devices. Outside of the regular mission and the occasional hunt, the world was your oyster.

But one thing that Itachi Uchiha understood- him, just like every other one of his peers:

When the leader called, you drop everything to answer.

He was among the first to arrive, his presence manifesting itself at the chosen meeting point alongside Kisame, who he knew hated not to be punctual. By the time his shade had faded into space, situated atop one of several massive stone fingers, their leader was already present; god's angel lingered close by his side, just as she always did. Both hardly acknowledged his or Kisame's presence, but he knew that they had been noted all the same.

Piece-by-piece, the rest of their organization assembled, their own presences fading into existence- each atop one of ten fingers just like that which Itachi stood. When the final body had touched down, only then did their leader speak.

"Welcome," He uttered politely, his voice deep, but feather-light in its touch. "I hope that I was not interrupting anything."

It was just like the man; piercing as his stare was, no one could ever have called him ill-mannered.

If there was any one thing Itachi had grown to appreciate about their leader, it was that.

"I was in the middle of a damn ritual," One of his peers ground out after a moment, seeming galvanized by the 'apology'. "This better be important!"

Itachi withheld a wince as their leader turned to regard the one who had spoken. His rippled, lavender gaze pierced into the man, the slightest tilt of the leader's head smothering that fire in him until their belligerent associate slowly bowed his head.

"My apologies then," Their leader decided, though Itachi really couldn't be sure of the truth behind those words. "I will make our business brief."

"S-sure," His belligerent associate allowed, his tone now barely more than a whisper.

"I have new orders for you all. But first-" Their leader's uncanny gaze found Itachi, and it was a battle not to shift under his focus. "Itachi. Kisame… What news do you bring of the Kyuubi?"

Right… The Kyuubi. "He is quite the formidable specimen, Honorable Leader," Itachi told him after a moment. "I do believe he will grow to be quite problematic, if left unchecked."

Those eyes narrowed near-imperceptibly. "I was under the impression that it was your job to check him?"

Now, Itachi did shift under the invisible pressure asserted by that gaze. Although he had never seen it happen, he did not know that he fully doubted that the man before him could kill over projection.

"Oh cut him a break, will ya boss!?" Kisame jumped to his defense after one severely tense moment. "This one's on me. Played a little too much with my food, and the Toad Sage whooped my ass!"

Itachi blinked.

What?

Their leader's interest settled on Kisame now, and though Itachi could not make out any features in the man beyond his eyes, he could nonetheless feel their leader's amusement.

"Your fault, you say?"

"Er- yeah…" Now, Kisame rubbed the back of his head, something faintly nervous finally breaching his show of gall. "See, there was this Hyuga kid- right? And you really wouldn't believe just how impressive the two of them were! The Kyuubi managed to break out of Itachi's genjutsu- oh, and the girl! Those Konoha kids really can take a beating-"

"Thank you, Kisame."

Kisame's mouth snapped shut. Then their leader found Itachi again in his crosshairs.

"Please be more diligent in the future."

And though not a single threat had left his lips, Itachi found that he could not breathe at all. A stiff nod was his best recourse, and it was only when their leader had looked away again that the grace of oxygen returned to him.

"What of the One Tails?"

Another ninja spoke up, his green eyes and pink sclera narrowing a touch in response to their leader's demand.

"We are ready to deploy at your word."

"Hm…" The ripple-eyed man glanced toward yet another- this one with heterochromia and a large, peculiar protrusion around his neck like a crest of sorts. "Zetsu?"

"The Sand Village will be holding the next Chunin exams in just a few months," 'Zetsu' offered with a stiff nod. "Waterfall is likely to send their jinchuriki to attend."

"You're certain?"

"Nothing is ever certain," Zetsu denied with a shake of his head. Their leader only continued to stare at him, until Zetsu bowed his head. "I am… Confident."

"Thank you." Then their leader turned back to the green-eyed ninja. "Kakuzu. You and Hidan can collect the One and Seven tails… Or will you need support?"

Itachi knew that the man was asking earnestly. Though, he couldn't blame 'Kakuzu' for the swiftness with which he shook his head.

"We should be more than enough."

"If I may," Their leader's partner spoke up for the first time, that meeting. "Although I trust the competency of our associates, I believe we should be remiss to leave anything to chance." Her feminine tone was clinical as she spoke, the woman's interest shifting again to Itachi; their leader followed. "Perhaps Itachi and Kisame would appreciate another opportunity to satisfy their role?" She paused. "Unless Pain-sama disapproves?"

Their leader only shook his head. "I approve. Thank you, Konan."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed, but Kisame only laughed. "Sounds like a plan! Two jinchuriki coming right up!"

"And what of the Kyuubi, then?" Kakuzu bit out, forced politeness steaming on his tongue.

"... Jiraiya is a tricky foe," 'Pain' responded, his tone once again seeming amused. "Zetsu will observe…I will decide when I have more information; but if push comes to shove, I will collect the Kyuubi, myself."

---

Alrighty, that's the chapter.

Consider this one a bridge-point as things ramp up. A lot of things had to be wrapped up to make room for new stuff so forgive me if this chapter wasn't as action-packed as you might have hoped.

I've had a pretty heavy workload, the last couple of weeks. I'm amidst a point in my work where the workload is honestly kind of a lot; it's difficult to even get a good hour or so to work. Eh, I'll spare you the gory details; you get the point.

Hopefully though, things will let up a bit in the coming weeks, seeing as the majority of my workload for this semester has finally drawn to a close.

Now, I believe I promised you all two omakes last time to make up for the lack of one, previous. If nothing else, I do try to keep my promises:

Omake 1: Legally Certified

---

"I have a question," Sakura decided out of the blue. She slouched back- probably more than was strictly polite, to catch Naruto in her sights.

"Sit up," Naruto chided her, gently pushing her back straight. "I can't braid your hair with you falling all over me."

It had become something for her to look forward to, coming to his home with snacks and drinks for them to share. She remembered doing something similar with Ino, back when they were young- before she had broken up their friendship over Sasuke.

She was still very much ashamed of that, even now after the two of them had started to reconnect, proper.

Naruto's hands were gentler on her hair than she remembered Ino being; Sakura supposed that his freakish strength demanded that he be particularly soft in his handling.

"Your question?" His reminder restored her thought, and she hummed.

"How do you and Hinata- er, work?"

Naruto paused, and though she could not see him from his spot behind her, she could almost picture the way he'd tilt his head and smile.

"Work? You mean like financially? Well I can't legally claim her as a dependent on my ninja taxes because technically she's also employed-"

"Not like that, you idiot," Sakura groaned. "I mean like- romantically?"

"Romantically…" Now, she could almost picture his frown. "Are you asking me for… Dating advice?"

Sakura fidgeted, trying to distract her own embarrassment with the sensation of his comb in her hair. "Er- maybe?"

Because truly, she never would have guessed throughout their childhoods that it would be Naruto- Naruto, who would wind up in a relationship long before the rest of them. Back then, her teammate had seemed far too chaotic. Not unattractive, per se- but not at all someone she could envision as any sort of romantic.

"I mean- look, don't take this the wrong way. Please?"

"You're not exactly filling me with confidence in you, ya know."

"I know! It's just- okay, Hinata is very pretty."

That was an understatement. The girl was gorgeous, even accounting for how intimidating her byakugan was.

"...Yeah?"

"And she's very sweet."

Also an understatement. To her memory, Sakura could not recall the girl saying a single bad word about anybody.

Even if she was half-sure that the girl didn't actually like her very much.

"But is that all it took to get your attention? Just a pretty girl who's nice to you?"

Naruto snickered, his hands shaking so thoroughly with his erupting laugh that he had to pause again on her hair. "We-well for starters-" He laughed again, scooting back for some space so she could finally turn to see him.

How was it even remotely fair that a boy was that much prettier than her?

"For starters," Naruto tried again. "You'd be surprised. Most guys just want a girl who's nice to them and makes them feel cool." He shrugged. "Hell- being pretty is optional."

Now, Sakura frowned. "So that's really all there is to it-"

"I said most." Naruto laughed again, and this time it made her feel a bit self-conscious- like he was laughing at her. "See, I'm the greedier sort, I guess."

Greedy? Now, Sakura scowled. "Quit talking in riddles."

"Your first mistake was assuming that being pretty and nice was all there is to Hinata." Naruto mastered his laughter now, seeming to stare off, wistfully. "Hinata's exactly the kind of girl I love most. She's er- I guess… Messy?"

Sakura considered that, then again. "What the heck does that even mean?"

"It means she's got layers. Hinata ain't just a pretty face."

He could almost picture it in his mind's eye: Memories of finding the girl rifling through his fridge at three in the morning, mouth stuffed with cold cuts or shots of pepper sauce in hand- moments like those meant far more to him than how pretty she was.

'Pretty'- bah! She was perfect.

"Hinata ain't as simple as you think she is. She can be silly; she can be goofy. She's messy, and I like that about her."

More memories surged, of his darling cursing like a sailor over a game of ninja scrabble- not to be confused with regular scrabble. Another, of her laughing like a lunatic or the toothy smiles that she wouldn't dare show anybody else while they sparred. "Stuff like that is worth far more to me than a girl who's nice or pretty."

He came to, and frowned. Sakura only seemed more confused than when they'd started.

"I don't understand half the stuff you say, sometimes," Sakura decided with a groan. "Growing up, I was told that guys wanted a pretty, perfect, demure girl who made them feel powerful." She shrugged, now feeling almost betrayed. "And now you're telling me you want a girl who's frayed at the seams?"

Naruto scoffed. "Sakura, let's be real for a moment. I've got plenty of options."

"I love the modesty," Sakura bit back, dryly.

"Shut up and listen." And this time, she did, taking in his seriousness in a new light. "At this point, I'm a decorated Special Jonin with feats to my name that most people ain't fucking with in their entire lifetimes. I'm also hot- objectively so. That's not even counting the fact that I can transform on the fly, too. I'm among the last of the Uzumaki clan, my aunt is the Hokage- fuck, I'm basically a unicorn with five horns, wings, and a rich ninja rolex on my wrist. Not every girl's going to rock with a guy that's prettier than her, but you'd be surprised at how many options I've got on the table, still."

Now, Sakura was staring at him anew, something distinctly understanding now within her gaze. "O-oh…"

"I don't give a shit about finding a girl who's just nice or pretty. I need a girl who makes my blood boil. A legally certified bad bitch who does bad bitch things."

"... And that's Hinata?"

Naruto's laugh was sharp. "Oh, like you wouldn't believe!"

---

Omake 2: What's important

Naruto was Sasuke's best friend. For a time, Sasuke had struggled with that truth- unwilling to admit it, because he knew damn well that friendships were a distraction from his goals.

The more attachments he had, the more Itachi could take from him. Pleasures of love, like friendships and even romance- they were fragile- greedy, for someone like him to indulge in.

And they could wait until Itachi was dead and buried.

But Naruto didn't really seem to care much for that.

"I told you I have to train," Sasuke bit out, his thumb and index fingers pressing the ridge of his brow with pressure as if to pinch away the teeming headache. "I don't have time to play games with you."

"Womp, womp!" Naruto jeered right back without pause. "You promised to join us next time for movie night. We're watching Princess Gale this time."

"You're not listening to me," Sasuke groaned. Were he not so remiss to break a promise to the boy, he would just turn around and leave on the spot. "You promised to help me with Itachi; stuff like this can wait until after-"

"Sasuke." Naruto's rebuke came this time with a different kind of tone, and Sasuke almost felt himself straighten up a bit when it reached him. "What exactly do you expect to happen, once Itachi is dead?"

Sasuke frowned, not at all understanding the question. "I-"

"What, you think you're just going to go back to a normal life that you never had- pick up pieces that were never there? Start up a life you never built and carry on with your day with hobbies and friends that you never nurtured?"

Sasuke's frown deepened, his crimson eyes falling to observe his feet instead. "Ow."

"Should I lie to you? Tell you that your ambition is gonna bring you glory, and people are going to fall over themselves to shower you with love that you spent your whole life rejecting- what, because you killed a dude?" Now, Naruto came to a full stop, turning to face him and tilting his head in question. "Or would you like me to keep it real with you, hm?"

Sasuke did not respond, stubbornly staring into the dirt he'd tread so as not to acknowledge the lump in his throat.

"Taking down our enemies is a top priority- don't get it twisted." Naruto shrugged, a ghost of a smile now taking his face. "But if you let them control the way you live out your days, then their mark can never leave you. You give them the power to tell you who you are and how the world works." He laughed at that thought, his tone so fueled with venom that Sasuke's lip curled sympathetically. "Look, we'll train all night if you want to. I know how important this is to you. But watching a movie with your best buddy oughta be just as important, ya know? Because if it ain't-" Naruto shrugged. "Then what's even the point of killing him? Why not just kill yourself, if you're gonna let that guy tell you how to live and die, hm?" A thought, then Naruto hastily raised his hands as if to ward something away. "Please don't only listen to 'kill yourself' and do some dumb shit, man! I swear to god, if you even think about-"

"Let's watch your dumb, stupid movie then," Sasuke growled, cutting past Naruto with a huff. Then, a smile of his own split the gloom of his disposition. "I want to try those 'taco' things you keep talking about… They have tomatoes, right?"

Naruto grinned.

Yeah, the fight ahead of them was going to be painful. But Sasuke couldn't deny anymore that having people by his side- it made the thought of facing Itachi again just that little bit less scary.

---

Alrighty. That's it for now. Any more and I'm going to take another week trying to get through all of this.

Hopefully next chapter shouldn't take nearly as long for me to get out. I'm looking to do another for this story, then after that I'll be looking to drop an update for Hearts and Souls- likely next month. Bear with me while I try to find some structure in the mess I've got before me right now.

In any case, thanks for much for reading. I hope the chapter was worth the wait, and that you'll come around next time for the next chapter!

Okay, bubaii!