I stormed down the hallway. Not walked, not strolled—stormed. My hair was in full bounce mode, my magnificent hat almost blown away with my speed walkinga drama. People dove out of my way, sensing I was on a mission. A very important one.

Because no one—no one—told me Ruan Mei got married. Not even a whisper. Not even a note! It's been a week, and I had to find out from the cafeteria gossip channel. A week! That's seven whole days of obliviousness. How dare she?!

I reached her lab. The one she guarded like it contained all the secrets of the universe. Maybe it did. But I had a bigger mystery now:

Who the hell was insane enough to marry her?

I mean, don't get me wrong. Ruan Mei's gorgeous, elegant, all that jazz. But she's also the definition of an Ice Queen.

Cold. Precise.

Emotional output: zero.

I always thought if she ever fell in love, it'd be with a microscope.

I raised my hand to knock—

Strange sounds came from inside.

Soft thuds. A muffled noises. Something that sounded suspiciously like a moan.

My hand froze.

My brain: Abort mission. This is danger. Retreat.

My pride: Nah, go in. You're already here.

So I knocked.

The door cracked open. And I saw her.

Ruan Mei.

Disheveled. Flushed cheeks. Lips swollen. Hair undone.

Wearing a her white lab coat and nothing else underneath.

"Oh—Herta…" she said, blinking slowly like she was waking up from a dream. "I didn't know you were visiting today…"

I didn't speak. I couldn't. My brain had gone blue screen.

Then—then—he appeared.

Behind her.

Him.

Tall. Shirtless. Tanned skin. Lean muscles. Soft golden hair that looked like he'd just rolled out of bed—and probably her bed. He smiled, warm and polite, like this wasn't insanity incarnate.

"Ah," he said softly, in that cinnamon roll voice that could probably charm a black hole "I'm sorry you must see us in this state."

"We just testing some...Theories."

THEORIES?! What kind of hypothesis was she testing on that man!?

I stared. Ruan Mei blushed harder (which was saying something, because I didn't think she had blood circulation). She stepped forward, trying to cover her bare shoulders with her hair like that would help.

"I—it's not what it looks like," she tried.

"It's exactly what it looks like," I snapped back. Then I clutched my head. "Ugh. I can't unsee this. I'm going to need to erase my memory—do we have a prototype for that?"

Naruto blinked. "I believe we didn't."

I screamed, already turning. "This is a lab! It's not for bedroom shenanigans! I'm going to report this to—wait. Who are you?!"

"Uzumaki Naruto," he replied cheerfully, pulling a shirt over his head. "Ruan Mei's husband. Nice to meet you."

"Husband?! Husband?!" I clutched the wall for balance. "You married a literal science ice queen and survived?!"

"She's not so cold once you get to know her," he smiled warmly, reaching out to hold Ruan Mei's hand. She looked away, biting her lip, cheeks aflame.

I shrieked. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving right now. I've seen enough. This lab is cursed. This whole timeline is cursed."

I turned and ran. My hat almost flew again. this time in full retreat mode. I didn't look back. I didn't want to see anything else. The sounds started again just as the door closed—

Oh, for the love of logic. They're doing it again. In the lab!

Mental note: disinfect Ruan Mei's entire workspace. And maybe my eyes. and I need to ask Screwllum to made me Neurolyzer.

I was bored and decided to write this short story XD expect nothing more