Civilization

by PSI-Triforce

Beast Boy's mild addiction to a computer game causes some concern over breakfast one morning, but quickly takes a backseat when the Titans are called upon to assist in a mission against the Brotherhood of Evil, in which the team have to rely on Beast Boy's... uniquely creative approach to problem-solving to get them out of a sticky situation. Silly but sincere. BBRae one-shot.

It could never be said that Beast Boy was not capable of surprising his teammates. And while those surprises were often negative – mostly related to matters involving hygiene, general knowledge, and his work ethic (or lack thereof) – then there were countless moments in which he showed surprising wisdom, strategic acumen, and skills that seemingly came out of nowhere in vital moments, having been drilled into him by the Doom Patrol in case of emergency.

While not fluent, Beast Boy could speak passable French, German, Spanish, and even basic Latin. He could also sleep through the noise caused by six separate alarm clocks. Despite not being able to utilize them – he so rarely fought as a human, after all – then he was able to recognize – and name – Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai and Krav Maga amongst the influences of Robin's fighting style. He was also incapable of spelling a single one of those martial arts correctly. He knew origami, was surprisingly adept with computers, and had an excellent nose in the kitchen, as Raven discovered one morning when he tried his hand at making her herbal tea, and somehow got everything spot-on. He also watched Blue's Clues religiously every Saturday morning, and cried when the series finally ended.

All of this was to say that beneath the video games, tacky horror films, and his incessant use of the word 'Dude!' then Beast Boy was – fittingly enough – a wild card. Stupidly naïve one second, and shockingly insightful the next. And every one of his teammates knew it; that Beast Boy was more than capable, on occasion, of revealing that there was much more to him than met the eye.

This was not one of those occasions.

When Raven had entered the Common Room that morning, Robin had greeted her with a grumpy nod. She hadn't quite known why he was grumpy, until she stepped further inside, and Robin jerked his head in the direction of the couch. Beast Boy was sitting on it, but slumped over so thoroughly that his head was resting on the table in front of him, snoring at a volume that was irritating but not unbearable, and occasionally drooling onto the keyboard of his laptop, smacking his lips a few times, and then going back to snoring.

"Another late night," Robin murmured in disapproval. "His performance in training has been slipping as well."

That was no secret, but despite Raven's own displeasure at Beast Boy's tardiness and poor performance, she still felt slightly conflicted. After all, that gaming laptop had been a birthday present for the boy. A birthday present almost entirely from Cyborg, but that she had… co-opted ownership of without meaning to. Raven did not know which comics or video games or… action-figures – she just assumed (not incorrectly) that he was the kind of teenage boy who still played with action-figures – Beast Boy would like, and so after spending quite some time – but not too much time, she would have been quick to protest (with the hint of a blush on her face) – failing to think of a suitable present, she simply approached Cyborg and asked if he wanted her to pay for half of whatever his present to the boy was going to be.

She regretted that offer immediately when it turned out that Cyborg was intending to get his little buddy a three-thousand-dollar gaming laptop. Which – with the modifications that Cyborg wanted to make – would end up costing around six thousand dollars. Raven cringed when she'd heard the cost, and Cyborg immediately offered her the chance to back out, but she stuck by her offer; besides, she hadn't exactly been using her Titan's allowance for anything more costly than the occasional visit to one of Jump City's tea shops, so it wasn't as if she was short of funds.

And so, on the morning of Beast Boy's birthday, Cyborg had presented an expertly-wrapped gift, warned Beast Boy to be careful when opening it, and informed him that it was from himself and Raven. Beast Boy hadn't really understood until he'd gotten past all three layers of wrapping and shouted "DUDE!" so loudly that Cyborg thought he would have to recalibrate his hearing.

"Th-these things are like a thousand dollars!" Beast Boy gasped in astonishment.

"Closer to three," Raven deadpanned instinctively, without meaning to brag. Beast Boy's eyes widened even further, and before either of them could move, he had embraced them both in a hug tight enough to pass for one of Starfire's, happy tears in his eyes.

"You- you guys are the best!" he exclaimed, holding them both closely, before his joy completely overwhelmed him, and he did something foolish. He released Raven just enough to lean closer and plant a huge, wet, sloppy kiss, right on her cheek.

Internally, Raven screamed – in panic, not displeasure – and her emotions sought an immediate outlet for an intense discharge of energy. Beast Boy's new laptop was right there… but fortunately for the boy, Raven recovered just in time to force them to choose another target. Unfortunately for everyone, the new target had been Beast Boy's birthday cake.

The next second, after four of them had screamed in surprise, and all five of them were covered in vegan-friendly chocolate frosting, Beast Boy had stared at Raven in shock… before laughing it off, loudly declaring "Best birthday ever!" and hugging her again. It had been – and she wasn't ashamed to admit it (as long as Beast Boy wasn't in earshot) – one of the happiest moments of her life.

And she was reminded of that happiness every time he brought his laptop into the Common Room to play his computer games. Cyborg was less pleased, and she could see why; she had to resist the urge to giggle at how Cyborg had put thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours into ensuring that it was one of the most high-tech, advanced laptops in the entire country, and Beast Boy used it to… watch cat videos, and play strategy games that gave him the illusion of intelligence. She knew that for many people, video games helped people to escape into their fantasies; apparently, Beast Boy's escapist fantasy was being praised by a fictional power for having the capacity for intellectual thought.

But while she was happy to see him enjoying her – their – present, Beast Boy was, at heart, a big kid. And they had given this big kid a toy that he was very reluctant to stop playing with. Case in point; the changeling currently slumped over, drooling onto his keyboard, having apparently passed out in the middle of what Raven had to assume had been a marathon gaming session.

She was tempted to give him a light smack in the head, but settled for lifting his head with her powers for a moment, summoning a square of kitchen roll, inserting it over the keyboard to protect it from his saliva, and letting him fall back down again. He never once appeared close to waking up.

"Morning everyone!" Cyborg's booming voice declared, entering the room before Raven and Robin had a chance to discuss the matter further. Starfire trailed in behind him.

"Good morning Cyb-" Raven was cut off by an especially loud snore behind her from Beast Boy. In his sleep, he seemed to whisper 'Ehfehfehfehfehfehfeh…' as he exhaled again.

"Geez, I was wondering what that noise was," Cyborg confessed, strolling over to take a look at his sleeping friend. "You know, I'm glad he likes the present and all, but he needs to tone it down a bit."

"Agreed," said Robin.

Cyborg grinned. If Robin agreed, then there was always a chance that mischief was permitted. Unpermitted mischief was just fine with Cyborg as well, but with the approval of the team leader, it felt like he had immunity from any repercussions. Not that Beast Boy would respect that immunity, but it was still something to think about.

"So… mind if I wake him up?" Cyborg asked, a crafty smirk already forming on his face. Robin took a second to think about it, and then shook his head.

Cyborg pressed a button near the base of his left hand, and it retracted into his arm, and then emerged as a megaphone. Kneeling down next to Beast Boy, he made sure the megaphone was right next to his best friend's ear, and then took a deep breath in.

Raven frowned. She didn't know why – or she did, and was just in denial about it – but lately she had been a little more protective of her irritating green friend. Perhaps it had been because he was surprisingly beginning to act mature – gaming habits notwithstanding – and she couldn't recall the last time he had initiated or escalated one of his and Cyborg's little prank wars that inevitably involved more and more people until they had to be ordered to stop for the sake of the team. Regardless, she didn't see the need to wake Beast Boy up in such a dramatic or humiliating manner, and so she waited until Cyborg had finished drawing in his breath, and was about to scream into the megaphone, and promptly surrounded his head, upper torso and the arm containing the megaphone, inside of a small dark bubble. A soundproof small dark bubble.

Beast Boy heard absolutely nothing as the full force of Cyborg's shout echoed around inside of his self-contained sphere, his overpowering shout of "WAKE UP!" surrounding him at every turn. When Raven dispelled the bubble after fifteen seconds – just long enough for the sound and its aftershock to have died out completely – Cyborg stumbled where he stood, and then promptly collapsed onto the floor.

The heavy thudding of Cyborg collapsing metres away from him finally roused Beast Boy from his slumber. "Whazza what?" he mumbled. "Five more minutes…"

Raven rolled her eyes. Just because she had gone soft on him didn't mean that she didn't have a reputation to keep up, and she lightly cuffed his ear.

"Wake up," she commanded, much more quietly and reasonably that Cyborg had attempted to do so.

"Huh?" he opened his eyes, looking at Raven in confusion, then his other teammates, then Cyborg, still quivering on the floor and clutching his ears, and finally at his pride and joy.

"Dude!" he sounded outraged. "Who put a wet napkin on my laptop?"

Raven frowned, then opened her mouth to complain, but Robin beat her to it. "That was Raven. And she did it to stop you from drooling all over your keyboard."

Beast Boy may have been a little slow to wake up, but realised straight away that it had been an act of kindness, and from someone who was sometimes a little reluctant to carry those out, especially for him. His face softened, and despite Raven still looking upset at his premature accusation, he blurted out a totally sincere – and utterly childish – "Awww! Thanks, RaeRae!" And then, before she could remind him that her name was Raven – she had just finally gotten to the point where she could tolerate 'Rae', and that was when he had decided that 'RaeRae' needed to enter the conversation – then Beast Boy glanced down again at Cyborg. "What's up with him?"

Raven smirked at her handiwork. "He had a wake-up call that he didn't like."

"… Oh," replied Beast Boy, not getting it, and not sure why Raven was smirking. It always made him nervous when Raven was smirking about something. "I probably coulda used a wake-up call myself." He yawned loudly, stretching his arms as far as they would go above his head, and then forwards, cracking his knuckles.

He promptly sat down and went right back to his laptop. Raven rolled her eyes again.

"Oh, sweet! I paused before I fell asleep!" Beast Boy pumped his fist in the air for a second. Apparently, that was cause for celebration.

"Beast Boy," Robin cut in, "I think we need to talk about your… gaming habits. You can do whatever you want in your spare time; after all, you are an adult, you are emancipated-"

"DUDE!" Beast Boy's attention was dragged away from the game, and he stared at Robin in outrage and offence. "Just because I haven't dated anyone since Terra, doesn't mean that I'm emanscupated or whatever!" He crossed his legs awkwardly. Raven almost rolled her eyes for a third time inside of a minute, amazed that Beast Boy could somehow mistake what Robin was saying for 'emasculated', while also clearly not knowing how to even say the word.

"No, I-" Robin had to pause to hold his head in the palm of his hand.

"What Robin is trying to say," Raven took over for him, "is that we're glad that you like your gift, but you're spending way too much time rotting your brain on those games." She paused. "And it's not like you were working with much to begin with."

"Hey!" Beast Boy protested. "Excuse me, I am actually learning by playing this! This is Civilization VI; it has all these historical characters and stuff!" He spun his laptop around, proudly pointing at a computerized version of one of the characters in question. "See that? That's Mahatma Gandhi!"

Raven would have been mildly impressed that he knew who that was… if she wasn't so sure of the answer to the question she hadn't even asked yet.

"And who is Mahatma Gandhi, Beast Boy?"

He froze, and then began to spin his laptop back around so that he could read the in-game profile of the historical figure who he had just name-dropped. Raven grabbed the laptop by the top of its monitor and refused to let him until he answered the question. She didn't even look angry, just pre-emptively disappointed.

"… Um," Beast Boy began to sweat. "The- the President of India?"

Raven let out a sigh, her pre-emptive disappointment now only regular disappointment, and muttered under her breath. "Well, at least he got the country right."

"Wait, I did?" replied Beast Boy in excitement. "Sweet!"

Raven groaned, swearing that she could feel her brain cells dying by continuing to converse with him. "Beast Boy, at least pause it to have breakfast with us. That's not asking much, and you know it."

Beast Boy made a face like a wounded puppy. "I would but… can I just finish this game first? Sorry, but I'm right in the middle of it."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Fine."

It was at that point that Cyborg, having slowly recovered his sense of hearing, re-entered the conversation as he sat back up on the floor. "You know that a short game of Civilization can take anywhere from seven to ten hours, right?"

Raven spun around to face Beast Boy. "WHAT?!" She walked over to him, yanked the laptop away, and began to briskly leave the room.

Beast Boy yelped in panic, tried to get up, discovered that his legs had fallen asleep, and then tripped over the still-floor-bound Cyborg. "Pause it! Pause it!" he yelled as Raven left the room… and then returned ten seconds later, no laptop anywhere to be seen.

Before Beast Boy could even beg for its return, she delivered the terms of her conditions. "You can have it back an hour after you finish breakfast." Beast Boy opened his mouth to raise an objection. "And yes, I paused it, okay?" Beast Boy's mouth hung open for another moment, before he wisely closed it and accepted defeat. But that didn't mean that he didn't continue to pout and sulk throughout the entire bowl of soy-milk covered cereal that he ate, moping the entire time. Raven didn't appreciate that.

"If you don't stop sulking, I'm going to go uninstall that game right now."

That succeeded in getting Beast Boy to stop sulking… if only because he was now smiling cockily.

"Nice try, Rae, but I-" he pulled out a flash drive/USB stick and brandished it in front of her, "already backed up the game, and all my save files, in case anything happens to them."

Beast Boy blinked. The flash drive was no longer in his hand. The flash drive was now in Raven's hand.

Trying to play it cool, Beast Boy's smile remained unfazed. "For all you know, I have another backup."

Raven was not playing it cool; she simply was. That, and she truly didn't care all that much. "Do you?"

Beast Boy's maintained his cocky bravado for another four seconds, before quietly saying, without changing his expression, "… No. Please give me that back, please please please please please please-"

Raven grunted loudly in annoyance and threw the stick back to him. He hurriedly put it back in his pocket, then quickly shot her a bashful smile back. "Thank you." He went back to his cereal, while Starfire was finishing up her breakfast muffin, doused in mustard. Raven's mug of herbal tea was almost empty, Robin's ham and eggs were all gone, and despite being the last to start cooking, Cyborg could reliably eat at incredibly competitive speeds.

It was then that Beast Boy remembered that there was something else he had wanted to do.

"OOH!" he exclaimed. "I just remembered that there was something else I wanted to do! Something to do with all of us!"

"Is it to do with your laptop again?" Raven asked without looking up.

"Ha ha," Beast Boy replied sarcastically. "No, it was a group thing that I wanted us to-" he paused, and then seemed to deflate. "Oh… shoot, actually yes, it is. Technically."

Raven rose to take her empty mug to the sink and then return to her room to meditate.

"No no no no no!" Beast Boy protested, "I swear, it's not like that, it's… can I at least say what it is?"

Raven folded her arms. "If you can do so in under ten seconds, sure." She realised as soon as she had said it that giving Beast Boy a time limit was a mistake; he spent the first four seconds panicking in silence, and the next three saying "Uh-um, um, um…" before finally spitting it out.

"I want a new picture! For my desktop background, on my laptop, and I thought it would be really nice if it was of all of us. So that every time I turn it on, I see the smiling faces of the people I care most about in the whole world."

Raven didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that it was a wholly sensible – and rather sweet, really – request. She kept her arms folded, idly tapping one finger against her forearm. It was clear that she was the deciding factor in this matter; Robin, Cyborg and especially Starfire would never protest too strongly. But without her, it wouldn't have been the family picture that he was hoping for. What was his family, without the grumpy older sister?

"… Would we have to go anywhere in particular?" She reluctantly conceded.

Beast Boy beamed so happily that she almost felt smothered by his joy. "No, no! The couch should be just fine!"

As Raven reluctantly made her way to the couch, Beast Boy encouraged the others to join her, and then began to set up the picture with Cyborg, since he would be able to place a camera at the perfect location and remotely command it to photograph them. Everyone already knew where they would be sitting; Beast Boy would prefer to be in the middle, flanked by his robotic best friend on one side, and his joyful Tamaranean sister on the other. Robin would be next to Starfire, of course, and Raven would take the seat next to Cyborg.

In no time at all, Beast Boy and Cyborg finished arranging the shot, and returned to take their planned seats. Beast Boy was actually bouncing with excitement; he really, really wanted this picture, and Raven supposed reluctantly that it was quite adorable of him.

As he took one last look around to make sure that everyone was ready, Beast Boy spotted one tiny fault that he was afraid to point out, but did so anyway.

"Um, Raven? Can you… give us a smile?"

Raven had been looking apathetic before, but was now outright frowning. Again. "I can either be in your stupid picture, or I can smile. I can't do both."

Beast Boy shuffled awkwardly in his seat. "I mean… could you try?"

Raven grumbled internally, but considered it. "Fine. But I'll need a minute to prepare."

He knew he shouldn't question it, but- "Wait, it takes you a minute just to prepare to smile?"

"As long as I'm not in a bad mood," Raven replied with growing hostility. "So now I'll need two minutes."

Beast Boy wisely decided not to ask any more questions after that. Still, after twenty seconds of awkward silence, Raven decided to break it herself.

"Why does it matter if I'm smiling anyway?"

Beast Boy shrugged awkwardly. "I guess it doesn't. I just… think you have a pretty-" he coughed suddenly, and then pretended that he needed to clear his throat. "A pretty nice smile, that's it. Yeah. Pretty nice."

Raven held back her blush, while Beast Boy couldn't do the same; especially since all of their friends had just witnessed his verbal blunder. Raven supposed that she could allow herself the tiniest of smiles at his expense, if it would help with his picture. After all, few things made her smile like Beast Boy humiliating himself.

Noticing that she was now smiling – the smallest smile possible, but still technically fulfilling the criteria – Beast Boy grinned himself, tried to move past that embarrassing slip of the tongue, and indicated for Cyborg to take the picture.

"Alright," announced Victor, "In three… two… o-"

The main screen turned on and blared a signal indicating that they were receiving an incoming message. Beast Boy would have sworn – and very loudly at that – had he not immediately recognized the icon that was flashing on the screen.

They were being contacted by the Doom Patrol.

.

Robin allowed the incoming message through immediately, and Rita Farr's worried face filled the screen, before her eyebrows curled in surprise. She had expected a quick response, but all five of the Teen Titans seemed to have just been sitting on the couch as if awaiting a message, and all… posing, somewhat. Was that just another thing that young people did that she didn't understand? Sitting around, looking photogenic? She just couldn't keep up with the youth of today; the last time the Doom Patrol had visited the tower, she had tried to sound hip and cool, telling Starfire that her hair 'slayed, queen!' only for Beast Boy to turn to her in silence, hurt and betrayal clear in his eyes, and quietly request that she never say that ever again.

"Mom?" Beast Boy spoke up from the centre of the group. "What's going on?"

Rita forced a smile in an attempt to calm her surrogate son down, which only worried him further. "Hello Garfield, it's lovely to see you and your friends again. Just to let you know; there's nothing to worry about, no major emergency, we're just calling to request your assistance in a matter-"

Elasti-Girl was slowly but surely calming Beast Boy down, until he heard a cough from offscreen, followed by a spluttered "Don't tell them…"

"D-don't tell us what?" Beast Boy immediately asked. "Was that Dad- I mean, Mento?"

Rita did not answer her son directly, but glanced to the side and harshly whispered, "Steve, shush, they can hear you!" before turning back to the team, all smiles again. "Yes, your father is here, Gar. That's actually why we're calling."

Beast Boy's heart tightened in his chest. "Wh… is he okay?" he already sounded on the verge of tears.

"Oh, yes, he's fine," Rita replied instantly, trying a little too hard to sound reassuring, but not failing completely. Rita wouldn't have wanted her son to worry, but would not have outright lied to him if something was wrong. "It's… it's about the Brotherhood, Gar."

He was still panicking, but his face immediately took on a solemn, serious expression, as if ready for combat right that second. "What's wrong? Did they attack you? Are Cliff and Larry-"

"Gar!" Rita cut across him, forceful but no less fond. "… Calm down, please. None of us are hurt, none of us are in danger. We just have… a request to make, if your team is available."

Beast Boy breathed a huge sigh of relief, but couldn't un-tense himself entirely. Not when the Brotherhood of Evil was involved. Still, he finally remained silent long enough for Rita to continue.

"We believe we've located an entrance to one of the Brotherhood's underground bases, but we're currently…" she glared offscreen, before her gaze returned to the monitor she was speaking into, "indisposed, and so we were wondering if you would be able to fly over and investigate. We would normally wait, but… you know the Brotherhood."

Beast Boy knew them better than most, and knew from the dozens of bases they had located, raided, destroyed and escaped from, that when they suspected that a location had been found, they moved fast, leaving behind not a trace of their activities, nor anything that would be of any use stopping them. But when the Doom Patrol had shown up quickly enough, they had found records of plans, deactivation codes, and sometimes come close to catching members of the Brotherhood themselves, along with successful captures of some of their top scientists and henchmen. So if a base had been discovered…

"Of-of course we'll come!" Beast Boy promised, only realising a moment later that it wasn't entirely his decision, turning to Robin and adding "Right?"

Robin was fidgeting with his communicator, and continued to do so for another few seconds, before looking up and replying "Titans East can cover us for eight hours. Is that enough?" he asked Rita and Beast Boy, but moreso Cyborg.

"T-Ship can get us anywhere in Africa in two hours," Cyborg confirmed, and Robin looked to Beast Boy and nodded. They were taking the mission.

"Yes!" Beast Boy pumped his fist, happy for the chance to help his former team, and especially Rita. But when he looked back at her, he suddenly gained a curious expression from an unanswered question. "Wait… how are you indisposed?"

"Don't tell them!" repeated the voice from offscreen.

Rita turned to the speaker and frowned. "Steve, if you fall out of that bed one more time, then you can just stay on the floor as far as I'm concerned!" She turned back to the Titans, and smiled sweetly, if slightly tired.

"Mento has food poisoning."

…

None of the other Titans wanted to laugh – and sure enough, they bit their tongues – but from their brief but unpleasant experience working with the leader of the Doom Patrol, it was at least amusing to consider that one of the most anal and obsessive crime-fighters they have ever met – a man who made Robin look positively laid back in comparison – had been taken down by… presumably, something like a bad shrimp taco.

"… Is he ok?" Beast Boy asked, a little more worried than the others, but mildly amused nonetheless.

"A leader doesn't get sick! A leader-" the offscreen voice started to cough again.

"STEVE!" Rita yelled at her stubborn husband, turning back to the screen to quickly add. "We'll send you the co-ordinates; glad to have your help!" before storming off to loudly insist that he get back into bed this instant and stay there until he was feeling better. The communication disconnected three seconds later.

The moderate amusement at Mento's predicament immediately took a backseat to the very real threat posed by the aptly-named Brotherhood of Evil. "Alright team, looks like we have ourselves a mission," Robin announced. "I want everyone at the T-Ship in ten minutes to-"

"Two," Beast Boy interrupted quietly, but firmly.

Robin glanced at his teammate, who was still looking at the screen Rita had appeared on. "Excuse me."

"Two minutes," Beast Boy commanded, turning back to his team with an unusually stern look on his face, which softened when he noticed their surprise. "I mean… if that's okay with everyone. We don't want to waste any time on this one." There was not a trace of sarcasm or humour in his voice.

"Uh… ok," Robin agreed. "If no-one has any objections, then-"

"I'm ready now, I'll just see you all there," said Beast Boy, before turning into a cheetah, leaping over the couch, and sprinting to the hangar as quickly as possible. It didn't take long for the rest of the team to join him, a little unnerved by his entirely serious demeanour, but understanding that the personal nature of his vendetta against the Brotherhood made this a very important matter to him.

No-one would have ever guessed that fifteen minutes ago, he had been sleeping face-down on his laptop, drooling on the keys.

.

The silence on the T-Ship was deafening. With each member in their own section of the ship, they half-expected Beast Boy to be lightening the mood with cheesy jokes, or expressing excitement as they flew past the beautiful scenery, reaching the ocean after about twenty minutes, and half-expected him to be briefing them seriously on the modus operandi of the Brotherhood of Evil. Instead, he was completely silent, yet focussed. It made the journey uncomfortable.

The first time he spoke was in response to an announcement from Cyborg.

"This is Captain Cy speaking, and in about four minutes, we're going to be landing approximately five miles away from the location provided to us by-"

"Make it ten." Beast Boy had interrupted.

"… Ten miles? Won't that slow us down?"

"We don't want to broadcast our arrival too clearly. They'll almost certainly sense us if we're five miles away. They'll probably still notice us at ten, but any further than that and we delay getting there. Ten miles is the best bet."

"… Alright then, we will be landing ten miles away in about two minutes. Cyborg out."

The line went dead for a moment, before Beast Boy opened communications again.

"Raven? Do you think you could teleport us nearer once we've landed?"

Another few moments of silence. "Ten miles is more than I'm used to, but I see no reason I can't."

"Great." The line clicked shut again, reopening two seconds later. "Thank you."

.

When the T-Ship landed a few minutes later, Beast Boy was the first one on the ground, already stretching. He tried to smile at his friends reassuringly, but the concern on his face was evident, and while they had sometimes wished that he took missions a little more seriously, the fact that he was nothing but serious regarding this one filled them with unease, and maybe even dread.

Cyborg had found a mostly empty grassy plain to land the ship without causing too much of a commotion. Despite the unfortunate circumstances, Beast Boy took in a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of their location, and smiled. Africa. Home. He shook it off, and his mind returned to the task at hand. He knew that he couldn't afford to be distracted.

The rest of the team had barely stepped foot on the ground and he was approaching Raven. "So, how soon do you think you can…" he left the question hanging.

"I'll need to travel there spiritually first, and then I can take us all there," she confirmed. "Could I have the co-ordinates again?" Robin handed her the map, and she closed her eyes and began to focus, almost missing Beast Boy's sheepish "Thank you!" He felt rather bad for almost forgetting to say that on the ship.

While Raven was concentrating, Robin took the moment to address his team. Someone beat him to it.

"Alright guys," Beast Boy began, in an official-sounding tone they rarely heard. "Just to be clear; this is not the Brotherhood of Bad Guys. This is not the Brotherhood of Villains. This is the Brotherhood of Evil. They do not rob banks. They do not fight fair. If they capture you, they will not ransom you back to the team. They will not throw you in a cell and wait for someone to rescue you. They will kill you."

He took a deep breath, "But. They are also no different to the people we have faced a hundred times before. We can beat them. We will beat them. We just need to be at our best. These guys are very good at what they do, but we're better. If you think something is wrong, don't talk; act. If something feels off, move. And tell us as soon as you're done. That's how we're going to win; they're a team, but we are a family. We have each other's backs. So…" he hesitated, as if momentarily tempted to express how much his 'family' meant to him, but decided against it. He could tell from their expressions that they were already worried, and telling them out of nowhere "I love you guys," would probably only give them more reason to panic. So he settled on a simple "Good luck."

Raven opened her eyes again. "Found it. Everyone ready?" She was really only looking at one teammate, and when Beast Boy nodded, she closed her eyes, surrounded her teammates with her magic, and began to move them.

Just before they disappeared, Cyborg spoke, but sounded rather far away. Whether to lighten the mood, or just genuinely surprised at the tone of his goofy little brother, he asked "So, we're all just going to ignore that that was totally the Mom's speech in The Incredibles?" And then they were gone.

.

When they emerged ten miles away, the first thing that Raven felt was a burst of fear and panic. She sought out the source, and noticed Beast Boy, breathing heavily as he stared at something. Apparently, the base of the Brotherhood of Evil was located at the foot of a gigantic waterfall, and something about it was causing Beast Boy no small amount of distress. But before she could even ask him what was wrong, he swallowed it down, turned to her with a smile, and once again thanked her for teleporting them all here.

"Where exactly is here?" Robin had asked, looking around. It was another grassy area, at the foot of a loud waterfall, tumbling down from some intimidating cliffs. It didn't exactly scream 'evil base entrance', although Robin supposed that was why it must have been an effective evil base entrance. Behind him, Beast Boy picked up a stone and threw it into the waterfall. It didn't bounce back off of the cliff behind. Another second, and a green eagle flew through the water, and returned three seconds later.

"Secret cave," he announced as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Behind a waterfall?" Cyborg asked in surprise. "Kind of a cliché, don't you think?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." And in no time at all, all five of them were behind the waterfall; Beast Boy having flown through, as did Starfire. Cyborg jetted through the waves, Robin swung through with his grappling hook, and Raven simply hovered through, creating a black barrier between her and the water that prevented her from getting soaked. As she arrived on the other side, she noticed Starfire wringing her hair out and Cyborg frowning at her in regret, having forgotten to ask if she could have done the same for them.

The cave stretched out for some distance, but remained completely empty. The team relied on Cyborg's shoulder-mounted light, Robin's torch, and Starfire's starbolts to make their way forwards safely, only to find a dark, moody and still-empty cavern. It continued on for almost half a mile, and was surprisingly wide, but when they reached a dead end after ten minutes of cautious proceeding, Robin was beginning to think they had made a mistake. He was about to voice this opinion when Beast Boy spoke first.

"Cy, see if there's anything unusual on your sensors." Beast Boy himself approached the seemingly dead-end wall, and from the green light of Starfire's powers, began to inspect it for anything unusual.

Cyborg's robotic eye made a low humming sound for a few moments, before he stepped forwards to join his best friend, who was still searching for clues. "Sorry B, I'm not picking up anything."

"Are we sure that this is the right place?" Robin asked, approaching them both as well, with Raven and Starfire close behind. "It's a little far from the co-ordinates Rita gave us, and," he sighed, "video games clichés aside, caves do occur behind waterfalls. The years of erosion, and the-"

Beast Boy stopped listening. He had spent his childhood exploring forests and caves, not to mention with the Doom Patrol. Something was off here. He glanced to the side of the wall, and noticed three stalagmites in an odd formation. He briefly placed his hand on each of them, and then suddenly grabbed the rock in the middle and pulled it down, hard. It turned like a lever, and the next moment, the entire wall in front of them began to shake.

Robin and Cyborg stepped back, and Raven instinctively covered her friends with a shield, as the wall slowly began to sink into the ground, revealing a blindingly bright, sanitized white corridor that led into an underground facility. Cyborg stared at the stalagmite-lever in confusion; according to his scanners, it was an entirely ordinary and genuine rock, which only made it more confusing that it very clearly wasn't.

"Open sesame…" murmured Beast Boy as the wall finished lowering, before he stepped into the base, confident but cautious; both because he was accompanied by his team.

The painfully white, sterilized corridor continued on before leading to a metal staircase to a lower level. At the top, Beast Boy turned to Robin and asked "How many bird-a-rangs do you have?"

"Fifteen," Robin answered quickly. "Why?" Beast Boy didn't answer, but held his open hand out, shooting Robin a pleading look that was more suitable for 'asking for the last slice of pizza' and not 'investigating the secret base of a terrorist organization.' Robin frowned, but obliged, and Beast Boy promptly threw the bird-a-rang down the staircase, flinching slightly as he undershot the throw and it loudly bounced off of one of the lower steps. It didn't matter too much; if the Brotherhood were still there, then they knew that the Titans were there. And yet, there was no response of any kind. The bird-a-rang remained motionless on the floor, and Beast Boy hummed in what could have been relief or disappointment as he made his way down the stairs, which led to a hall, which-

Beast Boy couldn't stop his jaw from dropping. The sheer size alone was incredible. That the Brotherhood had the resources to create a hall the size of a football field, underground, without being detected, and then just abandon it when they were finished, spoke to how dedicated they were to their craft; even if that craft was 'evil'. This hall alone would have cost a similar amount to all of Titans Tower. As his teammates followed him inside, they were each awed by the sheer expanse of the location as well.

Then, Beast Boy forced the feeling down, closed his eyes, and began to sniff. His ears twitched once or twice. No-one asked what he was doing; no-one needed to. When he opened his eyes twelve seconds later, they were sullen and disappointed.

"… No-one's here," he muttered. "We're too late."

"Are you sure?" Robin asked. "It looks like there's still more ahead."

"Nah, this place is clean," Beast Boy confirmed. "Too clean. They've been gone two, three days."

"So… our mission is complete?" Starfire asked hopefully. Beast Boy laughed, but there was no humour in it.

"No, 'fraid not Star. It just means that we're on cleanup. We still have to check, there's just no chance of catching anyone," he sighed. He had picked up the bird-a-rang from the foot of the staircase, and spun it in his hand, before angrily throwing it at the opposite wall.

"Hey man," comforted Cyborg, "There's nothing to be upset about, we just-"

The bird-a-rang hit the wall, fell to the floor, and two panels on the nearby wall flipped around at startling speed to reveal wall-mounted gatling guns, which fired relentlessly – and very loudly – on the projectile with speed and savagery that could have turned any human into a pile of Swiss cheese. Raven instinctively threw up a shield to protect them all, and as soon as she could locate the guns, ripped them furiously out of the wall, leaving them broken and twitching on the ground. It was another ten seconds of complete silence – other than the guns sparking as they lost power – before Raven lowered the shield again. Everyone was extremely shaken, except for one.

"Wasn't upset," said Beast Boy matter-of-factly. "Just thought they might have left something behind for us. Stay alert."

The large and empty hall was flanked by two corridors – aside from the one they entered through – which led to similarly empty halls, and a gas trap that was quickly located by Raven, and remotely deactivated by Cyborg. Beast Boy and Robin spent the most time inspecting the location, Robin snapping pictures with his communicator, while Beast Boy sniffed around, and judged the dust patterns on the ground. "I think they had a lab here," he announced suddenly. "This place smells more sterilized than the rest, and you can see where they had desks set up," he pointed at the ground as he spoke. There was another corridor, leading to another metal staircase, leading to another hall, leading to-

"Alright guys, I'm happy to call it here," Beast Boy conceded. "They clearly cleaned this place out pretty thoroughly, and… I get the whole 'leave no stone unturned' thing, but the deeper we go, the more likely we are to trigger a trap that we can't get out of." He looked to his friends with a disappointed smile. "Mission over, I guess."

"You mean mission complete," Robin reassured with an uncharacteristically supportive hand on the changeling's shoulder. "We came here, we did our job, and we're all okay. I'd say that's a successful mission, wouldn't you?"

Beast Boy didn't believe it, but he appreciated the effort, and didn't have to try too hard to force a smile when he nodded in response. Turning from the empty hall, they trekked back down the staircase, through the corridor to the room Beast Boy had suspected was a lab, and then through another desolate corridor to the first hall they had entered. The smoking remains of the turrets were still on the floor.

Robin grabbed Beast Boy's arm, hard, and pointed towards the opposite wall.

When they had entered, this hall had been empty, and it still was. But now there were four crevices in the opposite wall. Crevices containing computer terminals connected to screens; both were clearly on. The crevices looked like cells.

"… They weren't here before," Robin stated. For him to be making such a simple observation revealed how rattled he was by the sight.

"Nope," Beast Boy agreed cautiously, as the team made their way towards them. Towards the end of the hall, the wall curved inwards slightly. Anyone inside of one of these cells could see into the other three, but that was hardly reassuring. Beast Boy grabbed another four bird-a-rangs from Robin's pocket, ("Hey!") and methodically threw them inside of each cell. No reaction.

"Cy," Beast Boy asked nervously, "Can you find out what's on those monitors? Remotely?"

"Already on it," Cyborg replied, his red eye glowing as he focussed on the target, from a distance. When he was finished, his human eye widened in surprise and fear.

"They're targets. For missiles- active missiles. Countdown is one minute and dropping fast." He glanced to each terminal. "That one's aimed at Tokyo," he continued to look at each one, quickly reciting the target locations. "London. Paris. And Washington DC."

"Can you disable them remotely?" Robin asked.

Cyborg shook his head. "If I had more time, maybe. But in under a minute? No way."

"So… we can't stop them?" Robin replied, incredulous with worry.

"We can," Cyborg confirmed doubtfully, "… but manually. We would each need to go in."

"It's gotta be a trap!" Beast Boy protested, stating the obvious, but no-one was complaining. "There's gotta be… are we sure that the missiles are real?"

Cyborg double-checked. "Yes." He turned to Robin, beginning to panic somewhat himself. "Forty seconds left, Rob."

Robin spent another three seconds on the decision, before forcing himself to act. There wasn't any more time to consider. "If these missiles are the real deal, we need to deactivate them. If it's a trap, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Cy, Raven… Star-" he hesitated to ask such a thing of his girlfriend, "-the four of us will go in. Beast Boy, you know the Brotherhood best, so you stay outside in case anything happens." Robin didn't say it – and possibly wasn't even thinking it – but Beast Boy couldn't help but think that his decision had something to do with him falling asleep face down on the Common Room table, with his laptop as a pillow. That image didn't exactly inspire confidence in deactivating a missile launch.

"But Rob, it's a trap-" Beast Boy protested, desperate not to see any of his friends get hurt.

"I know," emphasized Robin sympathetically, "But we can't let those missiles go off. Let's just… do it and see what happens." And then, before the anxious changeling could protest further, "Titans, GO!"

All four Titans sprang into action, entering the cells and rushing to the terminals. It was surprisingly straightforward to find the abort command, which only made it even more suspicious that the option was so openly available. But there was one more catch.

As Cyborg mashed the key to abort the launch, to no avail, he noticed the way that the deactivation had been set up, and growled angrily to himself before shouting "We've got to all do it at once! Otherwise it doesn't accept it." Cyborg's brain was in overdrive. They only had thirty seconds left, but he was fairly confident that he could install something – or maybe remotely control parts of his body – to press all of the specific keys at the same time. Raven's telekinesis could help. There was really no reason why they had to stay behind in such an obvious-

A panel on the wall spun around to reveal a thermal scanner with the shape of a hand on it. The same panel appeared in every cell. Cyborg gulped, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach as he gave it a quick scan to confirm what they already knew. "Everyone has to put their hand on at once."

"Guys, this is a trap!" Beast Boy continued to warn.

"We know!" shouted back Robin. "But… we don't have a choice; everyone, get ready!"

There were twenty seconds left on the timer. "Now!"

Robin, Starfire, Cyborg and Raven all placed their hands on the sensors, and held their breath. For a moment, nothing seemed to register at all. Nothing had changed. Nothing was going to change. Had it all been false hope to begin with?

…

LAUNCH ABORTED

Those two words appearing on all four of the terminals brought some relief to the teens, but Robin only allowed them the briefest of respites before commanding "Alright everyone; out! As quickly as you-"

They were too slow. And they had never stood a chance.

The entry to every cell was covered in a translucent pink-orange field. Cyborg began analyzing it, Starfire threw some starbolts at it, Raven focussed her dark magic on it, and Robin threw what was left of his bird-a-rangs at the field; they harmlessly bounced off, but from the contact, he could at least tell that it was neither electrical, nor harmful to the touch.

Despite the fact that the four teenagers trapped inside were in greater trouble, the single teen outside seemed to be panicking the most.

"Guys!" Beast Boy spluttered, "What do I do? How do I-"

Every panel on the entire wall of the hall spun around, revealing more monitors. There must have been hundreds of them. And on every single one of them, a countdown of ten minutes lit up, and then began. And from the ceiling, a speaker descended, and the voice of the Brain rang out through the hall.

"GREETINGS, DOOM PATROL. IT IS A PLEASURE TO WITNESS YOUR FINAL MEETING."

The fact that he was referring to them as the Doom Patrol at least told the team that the Brain wasn't actually viewing the trap directly, although that was no help at all in the current circumstances.

"FOUR MEMBERS. FOUR BOMBS. YOU ARE LIKELY CURRENTLY TRAPPED, AND WILL PROVE UNABLE TO ESCAPE FROM THE CELLS IN WHICH YOU HAVE BEEN CORNERED BY MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT." While it served no advantage to them, the team – sans Beast Boy – were quickly discovering for themselves that the Brain's intelligence was matched only by his ego.

"THE SHIELDS YOU ARE TRAPPED BEHIND CAN WITHSTAND A FORCE OF MORE THAN ONE QUADRILLION TONS OF PHYSICAL FORCE, MAGICAL ENERGY, AND PSYCHIC ATTACKS. THEY WERE NEITHER EASY NOR CHEAP TO CREATE, BUT FOR THE PURPOSE I HAVE CHOSEN FOR THEM, I HAD TO ENSURE THAT THEY WERE ADEQUATE."

Raven and Cyborg ceased their attempts to escape upon hearing this explanation, while Starfire continued regardless, whether she didn't believe it or just didn't care. One quadrillion tons. That was the equivalent of lifting the heaviest pyramid of Giza, more than one hundred and sixty-six thousand times over. Or, as Beast Boy would have put it, almost twice the weight of Adonis' mother.

"OUT OF RESPECT FOR OUR HISTORY TOGETHER, I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH TEN MINUTES TO ACCEPT YOUR FATE. AND ALSO, BECAUSE I WILL ENJOY WATCHING YOUR DEATHS. OVER. AND OVER. AND OVER." Starfire was beginning to get the hint that the Brain really wasn't a very nice person.

"HOWEVER." They added reluctantly, in cold, determined hatred. "I CANNOT OVERLOOK THE POSSIBILITY THAT ONE OF YOU HAS MANAGED TO ESCAPE. YOU HAVE SURPASSED MY EXPECTATIONS IN THE PAST. I DID NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOU; MY EXPECTATIONS WERE SIMPLY TOO LOW, BASED ON MY PREVIOUS ASSESSMENT OF YOUR ABILITIES." Even in a recording, the Brain was incapable of admitting fault.

"AND SO, IN THAT EVENT… CONGRATULATIONS. I SUPPOSE IT IS ONLY FAIR TO OFFER YOU A CHANCE TO SAVE YOUR FRIENDS." One final computer terminal spun around on the ground floor, a few metres away from Beast Boy. Before he could even approach, the recording continued. "WITH THIS, YOU CAN OPEN THE CELL DOORS. ALL OF THEM. SAVE YOUR FRIENDS." Beast Boy hesitated, knowing full well that there were strings attached to this deal. There had to have been.

"BUT BEFORE YOU DO, KNOW THAT EVERY DOOR YOU OPEN WILL SUBTRACT THREE AND A HALF MINUTES FROM THE TIMER. I AM SURE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS." Beast Boy did not understand exactly what he meant, but he did understand the principle, as the look of dawning horror on his face expressed.

"EVEN IF YOU ESCAPE, ONE OF YOU WILL DIE TODAY. AND YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOOSE WHO. AND THAT DECISION WILL DESTROY YOU." The recording was silent for a moment, as if the Brain was soaking in the feeling of satisfaction at his own cruel genius. "SO, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, ON THIS DAY, I HAVE DESTROYED THE DOOM PATROL."

Just before the recording finally ended, the Brain said just two more words, intended as a taunting goodbye to the team who had been a thorn in his side for so long.

"GOOD LUCK."

.

Beast Boy froze in place for at least nine seconds; seconds which the Titans could not spare, as the timer on the wall had already started. When his friends – panicking less than he was, despite being in significantly more danger – began to shout, their cries overwhelmed him and themselves, cutting across each other.

"Beast Boy, you need to move-" "-C'mon B, do something-" "-not panic, I am sure we are going to-" "-Boy, listen to me. Take a deep breath. You can do this." He didn't need to focus to know whose voice had been the last, that he had heard after filtering all others out. The one whose advice he took, taking a huge breath, and slowly exhaling as if it would help. And it did, surprisingly; he ran to the console on the wall and immediately began examining the options. At the very least, it looked fairly straightforward to actually open the damn cells. But…

"Wait, so… three and a half minutes," stammered Beast Boy, looking at the timer, which was already at nine minutes and forty seconds, and then at his friends. "So, does that mean that I can only save three of you?"

"No!" Raven shouted back firmly, in a way that almost sounded reassuring… until her expression became a grimace. "Actually, just two of us."

"TWO?"

Beast Boy began to panic again, and turned his attention back to the console as his fingers brushed the keys.

"Beast Boy!" commanded Robin, "Free Cyborg! He knows the technology, he has the best chance of hacking their systems, or locating and shutting off the bombs, or… at least extending the timer; just free Cyborg, and then-"

Beast Boy pressed a key, and one of the shields disappeared immediately. To her utmost surprise – she had been leaning against it in order to get a better look – Raven stumbled forwards out of her cell and fell clumsily onto the ground, looking up at Beast Boy in shock, as if to ask 'Me?'

"I-I panicked! Sorry!" he apologised to her, and to the rest of the team.

"Beast Boy!" shouted Robin again, beating his hands a little harder against his own shield now. "Free Cyborg! He'll be the most help!"

"Uh, Rob?" Cyborg interrupted, staring at the timer which – true to the Brain's warning – had just decreased to six minutes. "I don't know how much I can do in just two and a half minutes! He frees me, and… I might be the last one who gets out!" Nobody had wanted to consider that. It was bad enough working under the pressure that your friends' lives were on the line, and Beast Boy was hardly the best at handling pressure in the first place. He stood, frozen to the spot, staring at each of his friends in fear and uncertainty, before Raven grabbed his arm and pulled him along to Starfire's cell.

"Here," she directed him towards Robin. "I'll see if they're any easier to break through from the outside. You try Robin's." It wasn't much, but it was something to do, so he nodded and obeyed. Raven closed her eyes, muttered her mantra and poured all of her energy into destroying the shield preventing Starfire from leaving. After fifteen exhausting seconds, she opened her eyes again. No progress had been made. The shield was completely unharmed. She turned to Beast Boy, and was surprised to find no-one there, until he popped back into existence, seemingly out of nowhere.

"They're sealed tight," Beast Boy confessed. "I-I even tried turning into an amoeba, and I still couldn't-" He froze so suddenly that for a moment, Raven wondered if his brain had shut down. He stayed that way for another two seconds, and then repeated one word.

"Amoeba…"

Ignoring the cries of his friends, he dashed back to the console, searching the outside for something, and letting out a victory cry when he found what he was looking for; a vacant USB port.

"A-HA!" he cried, hurriedly brandishing his own flash drive and plugging it into the port… on his second attempt, as always.

The reactions of his friends varied somewhat. Starfire did not understand, Cyborg looked as though he wished he didn't understand, Robin held his head in his hands and silently awaited his death, and Raven, being the only one who was able to do so, stormed over to Beast Boy, preparing to slap the bejeezus out of him.

"Are you mad?!" she whispered to him, not sure exactly why she was whispering.

"Probably," he replied with a nervous smile "But you know the cool thing about amoebas, Raven?" He asked, and then answered before she had the chance. "They split."

Raven didn't know how to respond, or even what she was responding to, when Beast Boy growled and gnashed his teeth, having opened up something on the computer, and frantically typing in lines of unfamiliar text.

"… What are you doing?" she asked, having never seen him this focussed before.

"Mento taught me the basics of hacking. And programming," Beast Boy explained as he typed, swearing under his breath as he backspaced several spaces to correct an error. "And I mean, basic basics. I can't do anything like, smart. But I'm not being smart, Rae." He sounded strangely confident and she was hesitant to admit that she was finding it kind of… attractive. He turned and grinned at her. "I'm just being stupid in a really big way."

When he was finished typing, he moved several windows out of the way, and sure enough, on the desktop, there was now the logo for a copy of Civilization VI. 'If this doesn't work,' Raven thought to herself, 'I am going to paint that logo onto the side of a mallet and beat him to death with it.' Jokes aside, she was still petrified that they were the only two free. And she still didn't know why he had chosen her in the first place.

"Raven? I need you to-" He paused, as that one logo became two. A second later, the two became four. "Okay, good, it's working. Raven, I need you to open as many of these as possible. They should be opening themselves, but… every little helps. Don't stop, okay?" Before she had even agreed to take part in his stupid plan, he addressed the others. "Um, guys? If the Brain said something about a self-destruct sequence, there's probably a bomb somewhere or something. I'm gonna go see if I can sniff it out real quick. You know, in case this…" he didn't need to finish that sentence. "Won't be long!" he shouted, before a green eagle appeared in his place and rocketed out of the room and down the hall, out of sight but not out of mind.

No-one was really quite sure what to do, but since he had at least seemed to know what he was talking about, Raven groaned in disbelief as she began to repeatedly… open multiple copies of a computer game. She couldn't believe that this, of all ways, was how the Teen Titans were going to die.

"Raven!" shouted Robin. "I don't know what he told you, but free Cyborg! We still have five and a half minutes left, if we get started now then we might still be able to-"

"I get it, Robin!" Raven replied through gritted teeth, smashing her right index finger against the left mouse button again and again and again.

"… Raven," Robin repeated in even bigger disbelief than hers. "You… you aren't seriously going along with Beast Boy's plan, are you?"

"Do you have a better idea?" she replied reluctantly.

"I… any idea is better than Beast Boy's idea!" he shouted back. Raven felt slightly offended on Beast Boy's behalf, although not as offended as she normally would have, because this was the stupidest plan in the history of plans. A little over a minute later, while Cyborg and Starfire continued to pound against their shields from the inside, a green eagle flew back into view, landed on the floor before Raven, and transformed back into their teammate.

"Okay, so… the good news is, I found the explosives. The bad news is, there's a lot of them, and they're under about sixteen feet of concrete. Brain's not messing around."

"Wish we could say the same for you!" Raven groaned back, while he stepped over to look at the computer.

"Ok, great," he said briefly, taking the mouse off of Raven for a second. With the number of shortcuts doubling every second, the computer was beginning to lag, and Beast Boy created a new folder, dragged a big box around every other icon and folder on the desktop, and moved them into it. Not even a second had passed before the desktop was full with new copies again. Every second, new icons appeared as the old ones were put into folders, which were then themselves put into folders, each containing between fifty to one hundred copies of the game, along with more folders, containing more copies of the game, and- he highlighted as many as he could, then moved Raven's hand over the Enter key. "Press this as much as you can!" he instructed.

"BEAST BOY!" Robin shouted from inside of his cell, and while Beast Boy wanted to do whatever he could to help Raven, he thought that it was best not to keep his leader waiting.

"Hey Robin, what's up?" he asked casually. Robin glared at him in contention, then took a deep breath and made his request.

"Beast Boy… when the countdown reaches four minutes-" they both looked at the timers displayed around the room, although several dozen of the monitors were now instead loading Civilization VI. They had four minutes and twenty seconds remaining. "Then I want you to abandon your plan, free Starfire, and get the hell out of here. All three of you, okay?"

"What?" Starfire overheard and protested. "No, I refuse! Beast Boy, if a choice has to be made, it should be Robin! The Titans could never have existed without his leadership, and wisdom, and his-his-" there were sorrowful tears welling in Starfire's eyes at the prospect of her not-not-boyfriend's death. Beast Boy couldn't afford to start thinking like that, especially not with so little time left.

Before he could even try to explain himself, their third member spoke up too. "Uh, not to be selfish, but I would also very much like to not die!" Cyborg asked his best friend.

"I-I think it's okay!" Beast Boy explained. "I think this is going to work, we just need to-"

For a second, the lights all turned off before turning back on again. Something was affecting the electricity. Beast Boy's cautious smile turned into an optimistic one. "Raven, keep going!" he encouraged, and seeing that his stupid plan might actually work, she continued.

"How are you even doing this?" Cyborg asked. "You can't run the same thing twice on the same computer."

"Yeah," Beast Boy, replied nervously, "That's why the script I wrote changes the numerical ID every time it copies. And it's copying all of the copies. And then it opens them."

Cyborg paused. "So… your masterplan to get us out of here is-"

"Yup," Beast Boy interrupted. "Right now, my beautiful assistant Raven over there is helping that computer to launch Civilization VI about… um, three billion times." Raven overheard him, and her face flushed in rage at being addressed as his assistant, but also turned red for another reason; he had just casually called her beautiful. And despite the light-hearted nature of what he was saying, she couldn't detect a single bit of dishonesty coming from him.

Several of the monitors on the wall flashed off. Several more of them were now on the menu screen of a video game that the team were rapidly beginning to wish Beast Boy had never heard of. Beast Boy's demeanour took a turn for the serious.

"Everyone, get away from the shields. Now." Those who remained inside the cells would normally have questioned his commands, but, like Raven, they were finally coming around to accepting that he just might have been onto something. That didn't stop them from questioning him anyway, but they did as they were told first.

"Why?" asked Robin in confusion, before the shield surrounded his cell faltered for a moment, then recovered. Then it disappeared for two entire seconds, while Robin prepared to leap out.

"DON'T!" Beast Boy yelled at him. Robin frowned, having been willing to follow Beast Boy's plan, but not liking being overruled.

"Why not? We need to get out of here. Everyone, prepare for the next-"

"Don't!" Beast Boy repeated, walking towards Robin's cell. He probably could have come up with a better way to explain it, but he was running mostly on adrenaline, and wanted something that would really get the message across, quickly and firmly. And so, he stuck out his pinky finger and pressed it against the shield that Robin was trapped behind. In the next five seconds, it flickered and vanished again, and Beast Boy's finger travelled half a centimetre inside of the cell. He gulped, having overcommitted, and hoped that he could adjust before it-

The shield returned, slicing the tip of Beast Boy's finger off, halfway down the nail.

"AAGH!" the changeling shouted in alarm, closing his eyes and sucking on the end of his finger. Everyone was shocked by how far he had just gone to prove his point, but no-one could deny how effective it was. "You see?" he mumbled, still sucking on his injury. "You want that to happen to you?" No-one spoke up. "The gaps are going to get bigger, and-" he glanced up at the timer, showing they had three minutes left, "-we've still got some time. Let's play it safe and wait a little longer. As amazing as Raven is, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to have to reattach anyone at the hip."

Another throwaway comment, this time calling her amazing. Raven grew more irritated to cover up her blush.

Thirty seconds later, the shields went down for another five seconds. When they had been down for two, Starfire flew out at top speed, unharmed. At three, Cyborg leapt across the threshold, nervous, but also fully aware that of everyone there, he could probably feasibly recover the easiest from being separated into two parts. Robin prepared to jump on four, when Beast Boy held a hand up to stop him, and sure enough, they returned on five. The computer had slowed to the point where it was no longer responding to anything Raven was doing, so she abandoned it to join her friends.

It was another ten seconds before the shields fell again, and Beast Boy again had to raise a hand to stop them from acting instantly. But when a second had passed and they stayed down, he gave the signal, and Robin prepared to jump – not that he needed to, as Starfire's arm reached in, grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him out faster than he could have ever moved on his own. The shield returned just in time to take a sliver off of his cape, but they were otherwise unharmed. Except for one.

As they gathered around Raven, under the expectation that she would teleport them out, she looked at Beast Boy and frowned. "Where's the rest of your finger?" Robin softly cleared his throat, and fiddled with his utility belt; one of the many compartments at his disposal had contained ice, it seemed, and he had been quick to recover the missing digit and place it there immediately. Raven grabbed, forced it onto the injured tip of Beast Boy's pinky, and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, it was reattached; Beast Boy even wiggled his finger to test it.

"Whoa," he murmured in amazement, and meant it. "You're awesome."

"You're awesome," she replied back, having just seen him save the lives of the entire team.

"YES," Cyborg interrupted, "You are both awesome, we get it; can you please teleport us the hell out of here?!" he half-screamed at them. Raven smirked, took one last look at the timer, and teleported them all five miles away from the base, halfway back to the T-Ship.

Beast Boy had saved them with two minutes to spare.

.

Appearing in a field of grass, despite having previously been the one to take charge of the situation, Beast Boy collapsed on his back and started to exhale heavily in relief that it was over.

"Okay… so… that was…" he panted, clearly having been panicking much more under the surface than he had shown. Suddenly, he frowned and placed his hand over his pocket. "Oh, man! I forgot to get the flash drive back…"

The USB stick he was referring to landed softly on his chest, having been thrown by Raven, who had unplugged it just before leaving the computer. "You're welcome," she deadpanned with a smirk.

"So…" Robin was the first one to ask exactly what the heck had happened in there. "Beast Boy, what the heck happened in there?"

Beast Boy closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the relief of knowing that he was here, and alive, with his four closest friends in the whole world, before beginning to answer. "Well, if the computer was connected to the shields, then it stood to reason that if the mainframe was overloaded – say, by someone writing a script to repeatedly copy the contents of a folder and then try to run every program in that folder at once, then it could cause… errors."

"COULD?" Robin repeated. "You risked all of our lives on 'could'?"

"Hey," Raven cut in, "It worked, didn't it?"

Robin leaned forwards and rubbed his forehead with his gloves. "I'm not denying that, just… how sure were you that it was going to work?"

"Not a hundred percent," Beast Boy replied honestly. "But that's the Brain. He's always thinking in terms of like, long-term strategies, years of studies and manipulations, five-dimensional chess or whatever." His breathing was slowly returning to normal. "He probably would've been prepared for most of the things that Cyborg could do," he admitted honestly. "But some idiot trying to copy and paste a billion copies of Civilization VI and then run them all at once?" He shook his head proudly. "Nah, he would've never seen that coming."

"That's our Beast Boy," deadpanned Raven, with a fair amount of sarcasm, but much more fondness than she would usually be comfortable expressing. A thought crossed her mind which she thought may have been worth sharing. "Hey, would Mento have thought of this?"

"Uh…" Beast Boy's breathing had returned to normal, "I don't think Mento carries around a flash drive of video games, so no, I don't think so."

"So… since we were filling in for the Doom Patrol, then you didn't just save our lives. You also saved theirs, if you think about it." It was unlike Raven to encourage Beast Boy to get an even bigger ego, but she felt that he deserved it, just this once. And also she didn't appreciate Robin raining on his parade.

"Oh," Beast Boy considered for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He continued to lay on the ground with a big dumb smile on his face, which the others couldn't begrudge him.

"Hey, I knew we need to head back, but… can we just like, hang out here for a sec? That was kind of stressful, and I could use a-"

All of them jumped at the sound of the explosion. Even five miles away, its chilling shockwaves could be felt moments later, rippling through the land as the base they had been inside two minutes ago was engulfed in flame, debris, destruction and death. One hundred and twenty seconds had been between them and that. Beast Boy's breathing quickened again, along with the rest of the team. If the patently un-serious way he had managed to save them had calmed their nerves, the explosion reminded them just how close they had come to perishing that day.

"… On second thoughts, I think I want to go home," Beast Boy quickly decided, and in no time at all, they were huddled around Raven as she took a deep breath, said the words, and brought them back to the T-Ship, where they departed very shortly, eager to leave this place.

.

Beast Boy was oddly quiet on the T-Ship, and remained that way for the entire trip home. It had been a rather harrowing experience after all – coming within two minutes of sixty percent of the team dying – but it wasn't unusual for them to face such odds, and survive every time. Even when Rita called to ask how the mission had gone, and Starfire began to explain how Beast Boy had saved them all, he had glossed over it with a rather disappointed admission that they hadn't found anything useful. All that Starfire had managed to get out about his heroics was that they had been caught in a trap, and he had freed them all with his 'unique ingenuity,' which he was very happy not to elaborate on.

When they arrived back at the tower, Beast Boy had thanked everyone for their help – it had been a Doom Patrol mission, after all – but announced that he was retiring to his bedroom for a short while. He didn't even ask Raven for his laptop back.

A few hours later, when his friends had grown concerned enough to check on him, it was Raven – laptop in hand – who had knocked on his bedroom door, asking if he was feeling okay. When she didn't receive an answer, she reached out empathically and detected a certain someone sitting down by the rocky shoreline of the bay. It wasn't quite the exact spot that he seemed to gravitate towards when he was stressed out, depressed, or just contemplative, but he didn't need to have been in that spot to have been feeling all of those things, and so she decided to join him, after dropping the laptop back off on his desk.

She stepped out of the Tower, caught sight of him, and descended his way. "Hey," she greeted him casually as she stepped towards him. "Thought you'd be inside, doing some kind of victory dance or something."

Beast Boy turned towards her, slightly shocked, but smiled. She didn't need to be an empath to see the panic in his eyes. "Oh, hey," he replied in a slightly higher-pitched voice than normal. "Yeah, I'll be inside in a minute," he tried not to stutter.

Raven took a seat next to him. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Oh, me? I'm fine." No matter how much he surprised her, Raven was certain that Beast Boy would always be an absolutely terrible liar.

"Are you sure?" she gently encouraged. "You seem kind of… on edge," she phrased diplomatically. Now that she was closer, she could see that he was shaking to the point where she would have considered it possible that he was having a panic attack.

"Y-yeah," he lied again, "It's just…" he hung his head for a moment, and then took in several quick, sharp breaths. "It's just catching up to me, you know? What's-what's that thing, where people can do crazy things in the heat of the moment, because they're all hopped up on amphetamine?"

For a brief moment, Raven considered the possibility that Beast Boy was confessing to her that he had a serious drug habit, and frowned in horror, resisting the urge to recoil; she knew she should have never let Cyborg talk her into letting him watch Breaking Bad. Then, she considered the much more likely possibility; that he was an idiot.

"Do you mean adrenaline?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," he accepted her correction. "Like, that thing where babies can lift cars off of pregnant woman and stuff." Raven couldn't help herself, and looked away so that he couldn't see. It didn't work, and he noticed that she was facing away from him, shaking slightly. "Raven? Are you…" he hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder, leaning around to see if she was alright. And what he saw was far from alright.

She was trying to keep from giggling.

"Oh, oh…" Beast Boy feigned offence. "Ok, yeah… thanks," he couldn't be too upset; his life's goal was, after all, to make Raven laugh. He just had the bad habit of succeeding in this goal at the most inopportune times.

"Sorry!" Raven apologized through the laughter. "It's just…" she regained her composure and turned back to her friend, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Today, you, Beast Boy, saved all of our lives by sabotaging the mainframe of a billion-dollar terrorist base, set up by a megalomaniac supervillain with an IQ of at least ten thousand, probably. And you did it with nothing more than a children's computer game. And you don't even know how many three and a halves go into ten." She chuckled to herself again, but hoped that he could tell that she meant it in admiration than mockery.

"You constantly force me to re-evaluate what it truly means to be intelligent, you know that?" She told him sincerely.

Beast Boy paused, unsure if he really understood what she was saying. "You mean like, in a good way?"

"Yes, Beast Boy," she smiled. "In a good way."

"Oh," that seemed to calm him somewhat. Somewhat. "Well, thanks," he smiled back. It was a sincere smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You're trying to keep from panicking," she advised, suddenly back to her wise and temperate self. "Don't. Accept it, take it all in, feel it, and then you can begin to move past it."

"Whaaat?" Beast Boy denied unconvincingly. "Panicking? Why- why would I be panicking? We're all fine, and alive, and-and-" he felt her hand on his knee, and knew that there was no point in denying it. When he turned to face her, she nodded sympathetically. He bowed his head in defeat, and… began.

Oh my God Oh my God OH MY GOD you IDIOT, you risked your friends' lives, they could have been killed, they could have been KILLED and it was all your fault, your stupid little plan with your stupid little game, you got LUCKY, the only reason they are alive is because you are LUCKY and if you WEREN'T then they would be DEAD and it would be YOUR FAULT, just like-

He didn't see her move, but he felt her arms cradling his head as the tears started to slow. He hadn't even realised that they had started, but she was already wiping them away with her thumb. And just as his tears disappeared, so did the thoughts. Now that he had confronted them, he could move past them, just like she had said. It had been a stupid plan, but it had worked. There was no point worrying about a future where they had died, because they hadn't. And that was because of him. He had saved them. Saved the lives of his friends. Protected the pack.

Wiping the last of the tears away himself, Beast Boy sat up again, feeling strangely refreshed and reinvigorated. He let out a huge deep breath that he didn't realise he had been holding in, and smiled at Raven. "Thanks," he said, quietly but sincerely.

"No problem," Raven smiled back, before one nagging thought in the back of her mind forced its way to the front. She hoped that it didn't make him panic again, but… "Can I ask you a question?" Raven asked calmly, immediately almost undoing all of the work she had put into calming him down again.

"Um… I guess," he replied worriedly.

"Why did you save me first?" she didn't want to put him on the spot, and she hoped that he knew that. She was just curious. Not that it stopped his face from turning slightly red.

"Um… just instinct, I guess," he answered half-truthfully. She didn't want to pry too deeply, content to let him keep some of his secrets, but she at least wanted an explanation of that.

"Instinct?" she replied with a single eyebrow raised.

"Well… yeah!" Beast Boy tried to defend himself. "It was just instinct. Raven needs help. Help Raven." He shrugged. "Hasn't set me wrong so far."

"And you don't have those instincts for anyone else?" she followed up.

"Well… yeah, obviously," he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "They're just… always loudest for you."

He had just blurted out the words with no thought, and as soon as they had entered the open air, it was as if he only just realised how embarrassing they were. He nervously looked to Raven, hoping that she wasn't smirking. To his surprise, she was blushing even more than he was, with a single hand raised to her mouth in shock. She was embarrassed, and he was embarrassed that he had embarrassed her, so they looked at each other for a second, then turned away and pretended to look at the sunset. They didn't have to pretend for long; it was a very pretty sunset.

"I'm… touched," Raven eventually admitted truthfully. "But I wasn't exactly much help."

"That's not true!" Beast Boy protested, his outrage greater than his shame as he turned towards her again. "I don't think I could have ever thought up something like that if you weren't there."

He sounded like he was being honest, but Raven didn't want him to project his accomplishments onto her. That wasn't fair to him.

"That's very nice of you to say," she replied, bashfully tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But you don't have to-"

"No, I mean it!" He turned his entire body towards her to make his case. "It was a stupid, crazy-sounding idea; you think I would have had the confidence to try it without you?"

"Wh-what did I even do?" she asked, still blushing, still unable to bring herself to entirely face him. She wasn't calling him a liar, she just didn't understand.

"You didn't need to do anything," he gushed, "You just…" He trailed off, unaware of how to continue. Raven assumed for a moment that he truly had just been trying to be polite, and had run out of excuses. She was ready to reiterate that she really was flattered and not upset at all, before he confessed.

"When I'm with you, I-" he sighed, his shoulders slumping forwards. "I just… feel stronger. And smarter. And-and better." He didn't know how she would react. She didn't know how to react. "As long as you're there, then I can calm down, and… think and stuff." Beast Boy did not sound as if he was doing a lot of thinking and stuff. "I just… feel like everything's going to be okay when you're with me." He frowned, thinking that he was doing a terrible job of explaining how he felt, and before he was struck by inspiration.

"I mean, look at right now! I was out here, freaking out, and now you're here, and I feel way better! I-I mean, not that you didn't do anything; you talked to me and that really helped, so I guess it wasn't just from, like, you being here – but if you had just been here, then even if you hadn't helped as much, then it would have helped, because… you being here… helps-" he gave up, slouching forwards in disappointment. He thought he heard her shuffle slightly.

"… Sorry. I'm not good with words-" he began in shame, before he was cut off by a very abrupt and unexpected hug.

Raven flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him gratefully as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. He was bad with words. But he was good at other things. Good at listening. Good at making her feel like a good friend. Good at making her forget that she had been born and raised to bring death and destruction to it all, by clumsily explaining how she made his life better just by being there. And right then, he was good at providing her a comfortable shoulder on which to lean as she tried to express this all without saying a thing.

Beast Boy didn't know what to think, except… maybe he was better with words than he thought.

Raven took in a deep breath, appreciating both him, and the total sincerity with which he had spoken. "Thank you," she said quietly, opening her eyes to watch the sunset from his shoulder. "That's…" she sat back up again, but kept one arm around Beast Boy, resting her hand on his other shoulder. "I don't think you realise what a tremendous compliment it is to credit me with the actions of the person you've become."

"… Huh?" Beast Boy was fairly confident that she had said something positive, but not entirely sure.

Raven sighed, and then said, bluntly and as intentionally deadpan as she could manage without it sounding sarcastic, "You're actually pretty awesome, so it's nice of you to say that I help you to be even awesome-r."

"Oh!" Beast Boy smiled and put his own arm around her shoulder in response. "Ok, well… I get that."

Raven laughed, completely content to be as close to him as she was. This truly was a perfect moment. If only there was some way to commemorate it…

Releasing his shoulder – to his disappointment, although he managed to hide it well – Raven reached for her communicator and asked, "Hey, are you still looking for a background for your laptop?" She spun around on her butt, rather casually and childishly, and held up the communicator, knowing that it could also take high-quality images – ideally for the purposes of criminal investigations, but this seemed as good a use as any – and waited for Beast Boy to join her. He got the hint rather quickly, turning around so that the beautiful sunset was behind them both.

"… So, what do I do?" she asked.

"Just press the big one in the middle when you're ready. It takes like, five pictures."

Raven was relieved that Beast Boy settled on a beaming but sincere smile, while she leaned towards him and rested her head against his shoulder again. She usually felt self-conscious about her smile; especially when she had to force it. But she wasn't forcing it, and neither was he. She smiled warmly towards the camera and pressed the button, taking five or six photos before handing her communicator to Beast Boy. He scrolled through the images, smiling at all of them.

"Thanks Rae, these are great! You sure I can use them?"

"Of course you can," she answered quickly, with a smile. And then… she had one last thought that might push him over the edge. Although it might also have been a lot of fun.

"I want to take one more actually," she announced, grabbing her communicator back and taking her place again resting against his shoulder. Beast Boy was a little stunned, but quickly got back into position, smiling broadly at the camera. "Let's count it down this time," Raven suggested.

"Three," she was looking at the communicator to ensure that the sunset was still angled perfectly behind them. "Two," she was looking at him, fondly. "One."

She planted a firm kiss on his cheek and he let out a startled "EEP!" as his eyes turned towards her in panic. The communicator flashed, taking several pictures of the moment that Beast Boy realised that Raven – Raven – was kissing him, even if just on the cheek. The moment passed, and while he seemed to be in shock, she scrolled through the images that she had captured. In some of them, she was looking warmly at him, and in others, smirking cheekily towards the camera. In every single one, he was looking at her in surprise and alarm, his face already turning red. She thought that he looked absolutely adorable, not that she would have ever said that.

"Done," she stated casually, handing her communicator over for him to have a look himself. He was so flustered that he barely caught it. She felt rather proud of herself.

Suddenly, Raven's communicator rang in his hands. That surprised them both, and rather than answering it himself, he quickly handed it back to her.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Robin's voice sounded on the other end. "You know that all photos taken on our communicators are uploaded to a server accessible by every extended member of the Titans, right?"

Beast Boy froze in horror. Raven felt a little embarrassed, but pushed it down as soon as Beast Boy turned to her and whispered, "Oh God, Rae, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass-"

"You didn't embarrass me," Raven emphasized before he could finish that sentence. "That's fine, Robin," she replied professionally, "Thanks for the heads-up."

"Okay," Robin acknowledged. "Just… you know that this means that she's seen them, right?"

Beast Boy and Raven had but a moment to look at each other in fear, before a huge crashing sound came from the Tower. One of the triple-bulletproof, super-reinforced polycarbonate windows had just exploded outwards, courtesy of one very excited Tamaranean.

"OH, FRIENDS!" Starfire screamed, divebombing towards them both before they had a chance to respond, wrapping them both in a bone-crushing hug. "I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR SO MANY YEARS!"

"Star-" Beast Boy choked out.

"For years I have waited for you to both admit your feelings! And now finally the day has arrived! It has taken much patience; you have both been SO SLOW, in spite of your feelings being so, so obvious! But the moment is here and-" she gasped, squeezing them even tighter as they both began to turn as purple as Raven's hair, "MYSELF AND ROBIN CAN GO ON THE 'DOUBLE-DATE'!" she screamed to the sky.

"S-Star," Raven tried to explain.

"Oh, I am so happy for this moment to have finally arrived!" Suddenly, her voice lowered several octaves, her eyes glowed a furious green, and she glared at them both, albeit releasing them just enough to allow them to breathe again. "If anyone EVER tried to take this moment away from me, I would KILL THEM WITHOUT HESITATION!" her murderous rage immediately subsided as she hugged her friends closer again. "… Anyway, what was it you wished to tell me?"

Beast Boy gulped, unsure of how to explain to Starfire that he wasn't dating Raven, while also not implying that he didn't want to date Raven, while also not giving away that he very much did want to date Raven. Fortunately for him, she took the bullet for them both.

"Starfire… what I believe me and Beast Boy were trying to tell you is…" she saw the joy in her friend's eyes, shook her head, and admitted defeat. Turning to Beast Boy, she bluntly asked, "Dinner tomorrow at eight?"

Beast Boy was incapable of speech. Beast Boy half-believed that Starfire's hug had crushed him to death and he had died and gone to heaven. Beast Boy just barely had the wherewithal to nod silently in response.

"Oh, how wonderful!" Starfire celebrated, then gasped at the idea that had just entered her head. "Robin!" she called; he had already exited the tower and was cautiously making his way towards Starfire and the happy couple – who were now a happy couple whether they wanted to be or not – and was equally unwilling to disappoint his glowing girlfriend. "Robin, please take a picture of us!"

Robin opened his mouth to protest, and then wisely shut it. Opening his communicator, he framed a lovely shot of Starfire, hovering in the air, as happy as she had ever been, while in her arms were an oxygen-deprived Beast Boy who was currently under the impression that he had died, and a thoroughly-embarrassed Raven who was trying to hide her blushing face beneath her hood, which Starfire quickly shook off. Both of them were approximately five seconds from passing out.

It remained the desktop background on Starfire's computer for many, many years to come.

.

Monsieur Mallah was worried.

It wasn't unusual for the Brain to lock himself away in the aftermath of a failed scheme, combing over any possible mistakes that had allowed the heroes to work around his masterplans. Any flaw that they had overlooked, any possible steps they could have taken that would have resulted in the deaths of their enemies. The Brain would remain in solitude for days at a time following these failures, and when he emerged – or, given his lack of mobility, allowed Mallah entry into his chambers to transport him out and about again – then he would declare that he had located and excised the problem, and their next plan was now guaranteed to succeed.

Mallah was pretty sure that he was just sulking.

Still, this sulking normally didn't take too long, or if it did, it was accompanied with such clear outrage that Mallah would at least hear the Brain cursing and plotting revenge. Ever since they had made a hasty retreat from their latest West African base, leaving behind a trap that was triggered less than forty-eight hours later, Mallah had heard nothing. And so, the great ape did something that he rarely dared to do; he intruded upon the Brain's private domicile in their current residence, knocked twice upon the door, and entered without waiting for confirmation.

"AH. MALLAH. I AM PLEASED THAT YOU ARE HERE." That was a positive – if unusual – sign. The Brain did not normally like to be interrupted while he was sulking. "I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THE STATUS OF OUR GOALS."

That was encouraging. "I see. Do you have any commands for us, master?"

The Brain hesitated for a moment, possibly for the sake of gravitas, but also because he seemed, frankly, a little distracted.

"DIVERT ALL TECHNOLOGY AND RESOURCES TOWARDS RESEARCHING TIME TRAVEL."

That was… surprising, to say the least. Mallah glanced around the room nervously; he trusted his leader one hundred percent, but he half-expected Booster Gold to appear before them out of thin air the moment their plans had taken such an unexpected turn.

"Time travel?" Mallah repeated back to him. "Not to question your orders – and we do know that it is possible, albeit… a very laborious and resource-intensive process – but, you are aware that this would attract attention from authorities whose reach is significantly larger than our current enemies. I have to admit, I am rather surprised to hear this plan."

"THAT IS UNDERSTANDABLE," the Brain responded, "BUT I HAVE PERFORMED THE CALCULATIONS. THE REWARDS OUTWEIGH THE RISKS BY A SIGNIFICANT MARGIN. THERE IS MUCH WORK TO BE DONE."

"I see," accepted Mallah. "Well then, I shall divert our resources and let the research team know." He turned to leave, and then paused. "Is there any specific goal we should be working towards?"

The Brain hesitated. "WE WILL TRAVEL TO THE FUTURE, WHERE SCIENTISTS SHALL BE ABLE TO CONSTRUCT A BODY FOR ME THAT CAN BE CONTROLLED BY MY THOUGHTS. NO LONGER WILL I BE LIMITED TO THIS CONTAINMENT. THIS SHOULD PROVIDE REMARKABLE ADVANTAGE MOVING FORWARDS."

Mallah couldn't argue with that. "A body for yourself… yes, yes, that would be very useful indeed!"

"EXACTLY," the Brain agreed. "AND ONCE THAT BODY IS COMPLETE, WE WILL TRAVEL THROUGH TIME AGAIN. TO THE PAST."

Mallah chuckled darkly. "The past? Oh, a fantastic idea, master! Destroy the Doom Patrol and those pesky Titans before they've even had a chance to form; oh, as always, your evil is surpassed only by your genius."

"… WHAT?" the Brain replied, seemingly distracted. "OH. YES. THAT. WE WILL DESTROY THE DOOM PATROL AND THE TITANS. BUT FIRST, THERE IS SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAT I MUST DO."

"Please, do tell!" Mallah was excited to hear about each and every step in the Brain's masterplan, every stroke of genius, every fifth-dimensional chess move, every-

"I AM GOING TO GO BACK IN TIME, AND I WILL PUNCH MAHATMA GANDHI. IN THE FACE."

…

At first, Mallah assumed that he had misheard, but a name like 'Mahatma Gandhi' was hard to mishear. It wasn't his place to judge the Brain's motives – they were 'The Brotherhood of Evil' after all – but… well, there was evil, and then there was 19th Century Britain. Just because they were evil didn't mean that they had to go out of their way to support every bad cause. More importantly, Mallah didn't see at all how this would help them defeat the Doom Patrol or those troublesome Teen Titans.

"Master… it is not for me to question, but I must confess, I am struggling to understand the motivation behind these new plans."

The Brain paused for a moment, and then responded – as frustrated as they could possibly convey through their robotic monotone – "I HATE MAHATMA GANDHI."

"But… why?" asked Mallah.

"I WAS CONSTRUCTING THE LAST COMPONENT OF MY SPACE STATION. AND HE DROPPED A NUKE ON MY CAPITAL."

It took Mallah a moment to understand, but when he did, he gasped in horror, and spun around the Brain's chair. Not only was there a vacant, faraway look in what passed for their eyes, but there were traces of… a game being played. And Mallah knew that it was too late.

The Brain had always been a huge control freak – the biggest one the Titans had ever faced; ironically, significantly moreso than the villain actually named Control Freak – and so when the Titans had sprung his trap back in that base, he had immediately begun monitoring the feed and the frequency in order to see exactly what was happening. And when he saw that the stupid green one was improvising a foolish plan to possibly overload the mainframe, he personally intervened to put a stop to it, connecting himself to the system. Which, in turn, meant that Beast Boy hadn't just run six billion copies of Civilization VI on the operating system of the base.

He had also run them directly on the Brain himself.

"Oh…" Mallah sighed in horror. "Oh no, Brain… you can't-"

"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY," interrupted the robotic despot, "BUT I REQUIRE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SOMETHING CALLED 'MOUNTAIN DEW'. PLEASE FETCH THIS FOR ME AT ONCE. ALONG WITH PERHAPS A VARIETY OF POTATO CHIPS."

Mallah could not tolerate another moment in his presence – could not bear to see a mind so brilliant be overwhelmed by something so trivial. And… perhaps it was a case of skewed priorities, but Mallah couldn't help but lament… if the Brain simply had to be addicted to a computer game, couldn't it have at least been a great one? RollerCoaster Tycoon was right there.

Saying nothing – there was nothing to say – Mallah retreated from the room as best he could, trying not to show how disappointed he was. And on some level, the Brain realised this, and they understood.

On some level, the Brain knew that his interference had trapped him in this ironic hell; a hell composed of multiple billions of runs of a silly computer game. And in the brief, fleeting moments where he managed some clarity, he was apoplectic with rage, vowing revenge on that irritating green moron who had somehow fluked his way into a victory; not just a single win, but seriously incapacitating the leader of one of the leading threats to world peace.

"BEAST. BOY." The Brain uttered with hatred that he had only ever reserved for Mento. "WHEN I AM FREED FROM THIS TORMENT, I WILL RETURN. AND I WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU HAVE DESTROYED MINE!" And then, as he always did, he tried and failed to resist the call.

"BUT FIRST…" the task of destroying that green idiot would always be there tomorrow, after all.

"JUST… ONE MORE GAME."