Translator
"Next applicant, please." Nova presses the bell beside him once the applicant leaves. Within five seconds or so, another one enters the room. A familiar boy with red hair and eyes. Viper.
"Here I am," the delinquent starts calmly, eyeing the room. "Surprised to see-"
"Yes, yes, have a seat." his introduction is flatly interrupted and the chair meant for him moves itself free for him to sit on through unseen force. The obvious culprit waving one hand. "I'm in a hurry."
"Er, um...right." The giant stack of papers beside the purple-haired guy say as much, that and the dark circles in the other's eyes makes it hard for Viper to feel angry about this much.
"Now then, Mister...?" a squint of the eyes, followed by rubbing them with one fist. So, no joke.
"Viper, no last name."
"Mister Viper, then. Yes, yes. Now, before we begin this interview, would I be correct in stating that you are an adept?"
"Y-yes?"
"Is that a question or an answer?"
"Yes, I am an adept."
"Mmhm. Very good. Adepts comprise a sizable portion of our staff here, as you may be aware. Furthermore, they perform a variety of tasks vital to our operations."
"Ah, yes, I am aware of that." a touch of sarcasm, for the other had approached him. If he still remembers that much.
"Is there a particular position for which you wish to be considered?"
"I'm sorry?" Is this a test? A joke? Or did the guy genuinely forget due to fatigue?
"We currently have a number of positions which we are seeking to fill, each with their own duties. Clerical and custodial work, primarily, but there are others. My question for you is which, if any, you have a preference for."
"Oh. Well, um...I guess..." what's the corporate word for fighter or the like?
"Take your time."
"Well, I guess...that you would be the one to really know."
"Hmm..?"
"It's just, um, I guess I just assumed you would decide what kind of work I would be best for."
"Mm. Well, Mister Viper, that depends entirely upon you, your ability, and to what extent you are able to perform the tasks given to you."
"Oh..."
"...what can you do, Mister Viper?"
"I can blow things up with my Explosion septima." A short and simple answer.
"Mm-hm. 'Ability to the extent of compressing and releasing a large amount of energy.' Yes, I see..."
"That's...not at all what I just told you."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well, it's just, that stuff you wrote down? That's not-"
"That is what you said, was it not?"
"Um, no?" Genuine confusion enters his voice, "I said I can make explosions."
"Your ability is to the extent of compresssing and releasing large amounts of heat energy whenever you want. Yes. It is a fine ability for an adept to have. Be it for construction or offensive purposes."
"But that's not what I-"
"Mister Viper?"
"Yes?"
"Can you or can you not compress and release heat energy?"
"Yes! That's what I said-"
"And that is the extent of your ability?"
"...I don't even know what that means!"
"Allow me to clarify, then. Is that all you're capable of doing?"
"Huh?"
"For example, though you may be able to compress and release heat energy, can you also channel the source? Or, for that matter, absorb or be immune to any sort of heat energy? Furthermore, are your capable of making this energy from nothing or do you need an already existing source?"
"I...I still don't get...I just...I just blow things up when I want them to blow up..."
"If you cannot do anything beyond those narrow confines, that it is accurate to state that your ability is to the extent of compressing and releasing heat energy. No more, no less."
"But-"
"There is nothing wrong with that, mind you. We all have our roles, and abilities. Just as a robot's abilities extend to the ability to be made of technology, non-robot abilities might not extend to the ability to use-"
"H-hold on! That doesn't make any sense!"
"...I beg your pardon? What does not make sense?"
"That thing you said! The robot stuff!"
"The ability to the extent of being made of technology. Yes, it is a normal ability for a robot to have. What of it?"
"But...that's not an ability!"
"...Mister Viper, are you trying to suggest that robots are NOT made by technology?"
"No, of course not!"
"Then how is it in any way inaccurate to state that their ability is to such an extent that their abilities extend to the ability of being made by technology?"
"But...their abilities are things they were built with in mind!"
"Yes, and that is because their ability is to the extent that enables them to do so."
"Then why don't you just say they have the ability to use whatever functions they were built with?"
"Because that is neither the correct nor accurate way to express the extent of their abili-"
"FUCK the 'extent of their ability'!"
"Mister Viper, that language is not appropriate, least of all for an applicant on a job interview."
"Tsk, fine, I just..I'm starting to feel really annoyed for some reason...sorry."
"I will overlook it this time, but if you wish to work here you would do well to avoid such outbursts in the future."
"Right..."
"Now then, with your ability being to the extent of compressing and releasing heat energy..."
"...ngh..."
"...we must consider what tasks you might be suited for, provided your ability is to such an extent..."
"...hnngh..."
"...that you may be capable of compressing and releasing other forms of energy? Perhaps the compressing and releasing of normal energy would not extend past the extent of..."
"...it's EXPLOSIONS! My ability is to blow things up with EXPLOSIONS! That's my ability! That's what I DO! Just like a robot IS A ROBOT! That's their ability! Being a robot! Next, you'll be telling me that your ability isn't 'psychokinesis'!"
"Psychokinesis? Of course not. My ability is to the extent of moving matter with my mind."
"That's the SAME THING!"
"Hardly. My statement speaks to the extent of my ability as it pertains to my septima. Furthermore-"
"But that's what 'Psychokinesis' IS! Moving things with your mind!"
"Of course that is what it means to be psychokinetic."
"Then why don't you just say psychokinesis is your ability?!"
"Because that does not correctly convey the proper meaning of-"
"FUCK THE 'CORRECT AND PROPER' MEANING! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"
"It makes perfect sense if you understand the intent behind-"
"It sounds STUPID!"
"That is purely subjective."
"NO ONE fucking talks like that! NO ONE!"
"I believe I more than disprove that assertion."
"THEN STOP FUCKING TALKING LIKE THAT!"
"Mister Viper, I believe we have nothing more to discuss."
"Is that your ability?! Is that it?! The ability to the extent of talking about the extent of abilities to the fucking extent of-?
"Thank you for your application, we shall keep it on file and will contact you if we have any need for-"
"How about we just say my ability is to the extent of FUCK YOU? How about that?! How about the ability to BURN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE DOW-?!"
"Merak. If you will."
"Yeah, yeah, boss."
"HEY! The FUCK are yo-?!"
"Ok, away with you now."
"FUmmph!" or whatever is the onmotopea for using the wormhole septima.
"...honestly. Kids these days. Now then, let us see...hm? Ah, my apologies. I did not realize we had another applicant. Please, have a seat, Mister...?"
"Thouest can call me Carrera, and my power? Ith be the Magnetic Field Fist."
"Ah, I see, so your ability is the extent of-"
FIN.
AN: I posted this at like 40 minutes away from midnight so it's still in at least the same week as April fools. The more you know.