This is a one-shot that comes before the one entitled "Newbie Sanity."

The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Also, please don't be afraid to write reviews. I would love to hear from you all!

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way."

"Doll?"

"Mmhmm."

Gunnar chuckled as he poked Jacoba in the middle of her back rather hard as he spoke again. "Doll?"

Jacoba arched her back before throwing her arm back to smack her lover (even though he caught it with another chuckle). "Ow, Gun, what?"

"Your phone is ringing."

The Amazon groaned before pulling her arm back and reaching for her cell. When she finally found it (on Gunnar's nightstand of all places), she answered and put it up to her ear without checking the caller-id. "You do realize that I was sleeping, right?"

"Sister!" Jacoba pulled the phone away from her ear quickly before slowly moving it back, missing most of the rant being practically yelled through the phone until she heard the caller start to quiet down some. "And, so, we need you to come get us!"

Jacoba sighed deeply. "Hold on." She quickly pulled herself up into a sitting position before she put the phone back up to her ear once again. "Alright. Thorn?"

"Yes?"

Rolling her eyes, she sighed again. "Who's with you?"
"Luna, Smilee, and Mars."

"And you need me to pick all of you up?"
"Yes, please."

Sighing once again, she shook her head while ignoring Gunnar's chuckling next to her. "Alright, I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way."

"But I told you where we are!"

"No, Thorn, you yelled through the phone so loudly that I think that my neighbors five miles away could hear the shrieking."

"Oh. Um, we're in jail."

Jacoba facepalmed before getting the jail information from Thorn and hanging up the phone. Shaking her head, she looked over at her lover, whose chuckles had finally begun to calm down. "Is it too late to ask for my sanity back?"

He shrugged. "You can always try. Want me to come with?"

She sighed before kissing his forehead and moving off the bed to go get dressed. "Nah, I'll bring them back here, so you can get a crack at them then. I'll even get the story from the cops before I see them in the cells and text it to you."

"Sounds like a plan."