(Scenes from Legends of Tomorrow Season 7, Episode 6)

The sun is resplendent in the cloudy sky. We are surrounded by trees and plants. The stillness of the open air is broken by Dr. Davies' grievances regarding the conditions of his time machine. "It is ruined, wrecked, absolutely kaput, and it's all because of you lot!"

"Hold on," Captain Lance objects, "how is it our fault we didn't land in Tahiti?"

"Because it wasn't designed to take all you people." He stammers, "It's-it's—the excess weight threw it all off, man."

Spooner infers, "Okay, so I'm guessing you have no idea what year we're in?"

"The chrono-gauge and the ignition coil are both sequenced to the directional compass, which was damaged in the landing. So, no. I don't think so."

"Well, that doesn't sound too good," Captain Sharpe determines, "but, hey, who needs a chrono-gauge when you have two ex-Time Bureau agents with extensive historical knowledge? Gary?"

"That's right, Ava. And, uh, based on the local flora, there's a chance we're in the prehistoric era. Give or take a few thousand years. Maybe we'll see a dinosaur."

Astra walks past him, snarling, "You'd better hope we don't see any dinosaurs, Gary."

"Okay, so it looks like we're making this prehistoric forest home for a while," Nate announces. "So, let's get comfortable, gang." The others are more disgruntled than before.

"Guys, come on," Captain Sharpe assures. "This team has been stranded more times than I can count and in way worse places than this."

"She's right," Captain Lance assents. "And I know nothing has gone our way since we left Odessa, but... they're gonna get better." The boost in morale is hit-or-miss.

"Yeah."

"Okay? All right. You're the only one who can fix this time machine," she expresses to Dr. Davies. "If you can repair that directional compass, are we back in business?"

"It would be a difficult task even if we had the proper tools." Zari 1.0 and Behrad offer to help with the search, but the inventor is unrelentingly pessimistic. Prior to this moment, I've started conversing with Gary. "If we do come across a dinosaur, it's most likely herbivorous."

He queries, "Really?"

"Mm-hmm. Only about 35% are carnivores and omnivores."

"Huh." He points at a branch of the plant he has examined. "The last time I saw leaves that curl like that, I was plant-sitting. How are they still green?"

"I suspect a nutrient imbalance in the soil. Even though we've been here for a few minutes, it probably hasn't rained for some time. The climate here must be either temperate or continental. You see that small leaf right there?"

"Yeah?"

"If you look closely, you'd see it has started turning yellow." Such information would disinterest the other Legends if I'd told this to any of them. Gary apparently doesn't have the same opinion.

Behind us, the captains sound very frazzled. Is this their first marital row? "I could've really used your help back there," Captain Sharpe comments.

"I thought you handled it just fine." Captain Lance inquires, "So, how are we getting out of this mess?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? How can you not know?"

"Look, I don't wanna stay here as much as you and everyone else. But anything we do now can alert the Evil Waverider. It's the whole point of 'leaving small footsteps'."

"Can you please stop reminding me that?"

"It's hard not to when organization isn't your speed."

"Well, it's hard to organize when this team prefers getting immediate results."

"And you don't?"

"Are you seriously throwing that in my face? What do you think we should do?"

Nate takes over and assigns tasks for the team. First, the bickering partners are separately paired off. Spooner offers Captain Lance, "Hey there, jefa. Why don't we go hunting for dinner?"

"Yeah, let's go stab something," she irritably presses.

Astra advances towards Captain Sharpe amiably. "Wanna go for a hike? Maybe we could get some firewood."

The latter crossly replies, "Yeah, I would love a multitask." The two pairs forge opposite paths.

Before Zari 1.0 left with Behrad and Dr. Davies, she and Nate have had a brief conversation. Gary supposes that it was aligned with their relationship. It's about time—Nate has vacillated long enough. We approach him as soon as he's alone. He informs, "She wants me to live with her in the Air Totem."

"Oh, that's great," Gary exclaims, slapping his arm. I'm elated to hear about this as well. Our enthusiasm subsides at Nate's lack thereof. "That's not great?" Gary closely inspects our friend. "Sorry, the more handsome the face, the harder it is for me to get a read."

"All right, just back up," Nate verbalizes, motioning him to step back. "It's just—I haven't spent that much time in the totem, and she just sprung it on me before we time jumped here. So I really haven't had the chance to process it."

I'm still trying to assess the general situation. "Nate, the totem seems quite small. How will you get inside? Are you and Zari going to live in a house together?" I make eye contact with Gary, asking, "Will there be pie? Because I really like strawberry rhubarb."

He gasps, "I love strawberry rhubarb."

A frustrated Nate instructs us, "We need to focus on today's problems, okay? Why don't you guys forage for some food? Leaves, nuts, berries, anything we can eat." Gary queries if he will need him as his sounding board. Our interim captain asserts to him, "You will not be my sounding board today." He relegates us afterwards. We are at a safe distance from him when I ask Gary, "Where do you think is stranger than living inside a totem?"

"A basement apartment. I actually lived in one before and when I started working at the Time Bureau."

I haven't uncovered details regarding his first residence on Earth, so this is critical to say the least. "What was it like?"

"The rent was affordable, but I dealt with mold on most days. You wouldn't believe how loud Washington D.C. gets at night. Where'd you like to live outside the Waverider?"

"Somewhere spacious and vibrant like the countryside. Ooh, or France."

"I can imagine you exploring the Eiffel Tower."

"Theoretically speaking, where do you see yourself living if not inside the Waverider?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but not everywhere. Maybe a caravan." I remember how enthused he was when he moved into the original ship.

I can hear Nate vocalizing pros and cons about cohabitating in the totem. During the time, he's setting up a campsite. Gary can obviously hear him too; therefore, we hastily retrace our steps. "Were you just talking to yourself? Did I miss your epiphany," he queries. "You better not have one without me."

"Gary, I already told you. You are not my sounding board today," Nate reinforces. "So why don't you guys go back into the woods and find some more food? It's gonna be dark soon. Enjoy the great outdoors."

"Fine," Gary relents, "but no epiphanies without me." The raw mustard green I'm crunching on tastes peppery.

Nate concisely tells him, "Bye." I place the bundle of edible greens I collected on the log. Picking up another leaf to snack on, I turn to smile pleasantly at Nate. "Bye," he reiterates. Gary courteously ushers me to proceed first. We let our friend be once more to forage elsewhere.

I finally learn the precise events regarding the captains' wedding. According to Gary, after Bishop unleashed his legion of Zagurons, the remainder of the ceremony took place inside Ms. Cruz's house. The captains saying "I do" restored the Fountain of Imperium into vitality, which vanquished the photophobic Zagurons. That explained those bioluminescent orbs I saw the eve before the original Waverider's destruction. Bishop himself persisted in fulfilling his abortive scheme until Mr. Rory and Kayla's 48 hatchlings devoured him alive. In a matter of speaking, their attendance turned out to be an ace in the hole. "Necrian babies wake up very hungry. They typically devour the first thing they see," Gary remarks. "I can't believe I didn't mention that before."

"It's certainly new to me."

He changes topics with a grin, inquiring, "So… how does it feel to be a human?"

"It feels stupendous. I didn't think I would be able to go anywhere outside the Waverider's walls by myself. It's so… freeing."

Gary relates, "When I first came to Earth, I had no idea what was in store." We've started collecting berries and edible nuts at the same time as disclosing personal facts about ourselves. "What's the most fun thing you've done recently," he asks.

"It's hard to pinpoint. I've enjoyed a lot of things like witnessing sunrises and sunsets. The sky looks beautiful when it changes colors; this is fun as well. What's your favorite way to unwind after a long day?"

"I would do crochet. Do you like music?"

"I prefer jazz and classical; however, I do find pop music infectious. What about you?"

"My favorite song is 'Octopus's Garden' by the Beatles."

"I have heard of that song. Richard Starkey—often known as Ringo Starr—wrote it after he saw a literal octopus's garden on a boat trip in Sardinia. Besides that, what do you like about that particular song?"

"I like imagining myself being underwater whenever I listen to it. I don't know why people hate it so much."

"General consensus has criticized the song's lyrics for their simplistic nature," I explain. "'Yellow Submarine' amasses the same sentiment, though it's deemed more profitable."

"I'd never thought it that way," Gary opines.

I change the subject as we reach the shrubby area. "What made you decide to stay on Earth?"

He quizzes, his eyes blinking twice, "You… you really wanna know?"

"Yes." Surely, someone must've asked him this.

"I… I like how it's unlike Necria." At one point, he involuntarily gets a crash course on venomous plants. I also elucidate on which plants are medicinal. "Your knowledge of the universe is so useful, especially in the wilderness. I'm so glad you're here, Gideon."

"I'm glad I'm here too, Gary. Had I not pulled that nightshade out of your mouth, you'll be dead, and your lifeless body would be too heavy for me to carry." Still, he's sincerely pleasant to be around. "Try these gooseberries. They're sweet and high in antioxidants." He tentatively wants to do so, so I stick two into his mouth. Gary likes them much better than the belladonna atropa. We end up snacking them right out of my beret. "Eating is my favorite thing about being human," I declare. "What's yours?"

"Hmm, I don't think I can choose my favorite thing," he confides. "You can see why I became obsessed. They have so many fun quirks: eyebrows, bellybuttons, nipples."

"You have nipples too?" Gary then shares a riveting secret: he has a third nipple. "And when you put your glasses on, does your entire body turn human?"

"Oh, yeah. Head to toe."

"You've been living as a human for quite a while now, so you must've so many wonderful experiences."

"Yeah, but there's so many more things I would do if we weren't so busy saving the world."

"Mmm? Like what else? Would you… swim in the ocean?"

"Oh, soon as I get the chance."

"Would you skydive?"

"No," Gary strongly opposes. He breaks eye contact by turning away. "I'm, uh… I'm afraid of heights."

"Would you like to have sexual intercourse with me?" This proposition is not a glitch. Gary freezes on the spot. I advance on him to behold his face. He's looking ahead with a gaping mouth and dilated pupils. To recapture his attention, I begin playing his necktie. "Do you want me to continue?"

Only 30 seconds pass when his answer is audible. "Yes." Single-handedly tightening my grip, I pin an astonished Gary to a tree trunk, gliding my fingers underneath his jacket. He turns out to be especially ticklish around his abdomen. Gary retaliates by lightly prodding my sides. We crash into some thick bushes amid our raucous laughter. I glitch from sniffing patchouli on him. Gary regards me with a dizzy expression, similar to when he first saw me. The next 15 minutes are temporarily uncoordinated yet utterly eye-opening. Who knew he has high stamina? We soon experience short-term dyspnea while lying side by side on the ground. Our clothes are disheveled and stained with gooseberry juice. In addition, we have grass and leaves in our hairs. Everything around us seems more vivid now than it was when we landed.

45 minutes later, Gary and I arrive at the campsite with my hat full of gooseberries. We seem to be the penultimate group to return. From afar, I can confirm that the captains are equally untroubled and joined at the hip again. I suppose what they needed was a time-out from each other. Thanks to Nate, they also got a respite from leading the team. Gary approaches me, subduedly inquiring, "Hey, that, uh… human... experience we had—it was fun, was it?"

"Oh, yes," I beam. "It was great fun."

He responds to this, chuckling, "You know what I just realized? My favorite thing about humans is being with other humans." An additional shot of dopamine flows into my brain.

I softly nod at his sentiment. "Me too." We touch each other's thumbs, and I feel a spark of electricity surging through the tips.

Nightfall ensues; we all sit comfortably around the campfire. Captains Lance and Sharpe snuggle together on one side. Astra and Spooner are eating cooked squirrels opposite them. Amidst the ensuing atmosphere, Gary and I continue eating gooseberries as well as divulging every other human activity we want to try. Halfway through our conversation, he discloses, "You know, if I didn't stay on Earth, I wouldn't have experienced so much." Even though I've been corporeal for 15 days now, I strive to do and see so many things. Gary excuses himself to check on Nate. He has receded from the bonfire since we're still missing three companions. The captains are whispering and laughing about something. Astra and Spooner are conversing about their day with each captain respectively. Amid all of this, I'm determining whether my foraging mission with Gary was something more.

A faint mechanical sound in the distance calls me away from my engrossment. It amplifies enough for everyone else to hear. "What's that weird noise," Spooner queries.

"According to my audio analysis, it's a straight-four engine with a manual transmission," I deduce. "And the squeaking noise suggests there's a problem with the clutch."

We see a pair of headlights glowing behind the captains. A motor vehicle pulls up, only to park near the pyramid of firewood stacked by a tree. "Well, guess we're not gonna see those dinosaurs," Captain Lance quips.

The car doors open, revealing Zari 1.0, Behrad, and Dr. Davies. "Hey, guys," she declares. "We need to get the hell out of here."

Her brother informs, "We're in 1986 just outside Chernobyl."

"What," everyone exclaims.

"The meltdown's gonna happen in about 20 minutes," Zari 1.0 updates. "We did make a small change to the timeline."

"Okay, hold on." Captain Lance inquires, "What did you guys do?"

"We broadcast a message from a military base informing everyone that the meltdown was imminent, that they should flee immediately," Dr. Davies professes. "Well, I wasn't, in good conscience, gonna leave without doing something, was I?"

"Okay, okay, okay. While I definitely understand, you guys, that's not a small change to the timeline," Captain Sharpe denotes. "You've potentially affected thousands of lives."

"Yeah," her spouse adds, "and you just put a huge target on our backs."

The whirring sounds of the other Waverider are heard as if on cue. "Oh, man," Captain Sharpe mandates, "you guys need to go fix that time machine now." Zari 1.0, Behrad, and Dr. Davies hurry in implementing the necessary repairs to the time machine. "And we need to put out this fire."

"Be ready," Captain Lance directs us. "We have no idea who or what is on that ship."

While we scramble to douse out the campfire, the other Waverider is drawing closer and closer. Its searchlight sweeps the ground below for us. "Here it comes."

"Not if I stop it first," Spooner avouches, readily aiming her gun at it.

Captain Lance pulls her arm. "No, come on, we gotta go," she maintains. "Let's go." The rest of us climb inside the time machine. As Dr. Davies activates it, something splatters on Gary's face. He looks up, asking, "What is that?" We follow his gaze. It looks like a parachute attached to... a toilet?

"Whoa, it's coming straight for us," Spooner attests.

Nate quizzes, "Wait, is there someone on that toilet?"

"Who cares," Astra insists. "Let's go.

Captain Lance surmises, "Somebody pressed the red button." Yep.

"Whoever it is," Zari 1.0 affirms, "they're gonna land right on top of us." Dr. Davies pushes the thrust lever forward. The toilet and its screaming passenger are dropping faster. The time machine hasn't reached full activation yet. "Oh crap," we all proclaim as we take off along with our mysterious stowaway.