October 3rd, 1800
...
It was like a fire. A fire that fell from the sky.
I remember it, now and then. I don't want to remember, but people always remind me that I should. I listen to what others have said and I know I've been through the same kind of perils. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Sometimes I still feel the impact of Odin's spear clashing against the cathedral and the heat that follows.
Lightning flashes, yet there's no rain. The settlement of Cleyra, once teeming with life, now had become a hollow husk of its former self. Dust scatters in the air, Making it hard for me to breathe or form any coherent thoughts as I trudge through the ruins looking for my children. They are fine, I swore to myself. We were in the cathedral, under God's watch. No harm would be brought to us if we stood on holy ground.
Outside, the skies turned red and, before I knew it, my clothes were burnt. My skin was burnt. Everything around me burned, even my tears.
I cried out for help, but no one heard me. There was pain, but no feeling. After a while, it dawned on me what had happened, a revelation that struck me with dread. Everything ran out of control like some kind of bad dream, except nobody I knew and loved was there to awaken me.
I was alone. Abandoned. I may have seen one or two people crawling out of the rubble, but I can't recall them saying anything. No words were spoken, no gestures were exchanged, no hope was brought in return.
Then, I saw lights. Thousands of them. They floated aimlessly around my sight. For a moment, I thought I was dead, but it didn't seem right. It wasn't the afterlife I've been told as a child, Mother Reis wasn't there to guide me across the river and those words I've heard, while comforting, came not from a saint, but a human being instead.
"Listen, everything will be fine", they said. I don't know who said it, I passed out before knowing his or her name. Truth is, I owe them a lot and, whoever they are, I wish them a place in heaven. I really do.
Months have passed since these events occurred. I'm trying to live life and, despite a few setbacks, I'm managing to do it very well. I can't help myself but wonder what's worse, having more friends inside the graveyard or having been here so many times that I know how to find each and every one of them in the dark? But enough nasty thoughts, I need to go elsewhere, to visit a friend and see how she's doing.
As I leave the graveyard, I find myself holding an empty basket while standing on the corner with my feet soaking wet. The first thing I do as I go to the market is to buy some fruits, apples, tomatoes, onions, potatoes and a gift for little Aisha. Like, it must be great for Myrna to know that she's a grandmother, something I don't think about very much. These days, I have no reason to think about family as I used to, yet when I first held Aisha in my arms, my worries seemed to have disappeared and what a wonderful feeling it was. How I wish it was eternal.
I'm not planning to raise any children. I've already lost my own and there isn't a single day I don't miss Adam and Jack. Losing Dan still hurts, but not as much as losing our children. They were learning so many things about themselves and the world around them, but now they're dead and there's nothing you can teach to the dead, you can only teach the living about what they should do before it's all over.