Chapter 1

another Argument

Jeremy walked along the shores at Alki beach, he had ridden Brownie out that far away from Seattle. He had to get away. He watched as the waves rolled up on the beach and back down. Ebbing and flowing. First up on the beach and then down off the beach. Standing in the warm sand he wondered what happened. They had their arguments but always either chose to compromise or have a discussion into the wee hours of the night before they would turn in.

"Oh, Candy, what is happening, you are a good wife, we have been married many years, we have children and grandchildren. What happened? How come you changed, or did I change?" He thought to himself. Brownie came up to him and nuzzled him a little, he pet Brownie and smiled. Then getting on the horse, he rode back to Seattle.

"Melanie, I thought that you were taking the children for a picnic today?" Candy asked her daughter.

"I was mother but something came up and Walter had to go to Tacoma! So, here we are!" Melanie said as she took JJ 's hand and walked him over to his grandmother. Wally and Rose the twins were sitting at the table already. Candy was frustrated and not happy, the argument that she and Jeremy had had the night before had not been settled. Now, Melanie wanted her to watch the grandchildren that afternoon!

"Melanie, I really don't think that I can do that. Your father and I have something to discuss when he gets home and I don't want the grandchildren here!" Candy said to her daughter then she asked:

"Where are you going that you need me to watch the children?" Melanie did not want to say what where she was going or why.

"Mom, let's just say for the sake of my marriage, I have something I need to do!" Candy looked at her daughter, her and Walter had been married for over 10 years. They had three beautiful children and had always seemed like they were a happy couple.

Just at that moment, Jeremy came in and was surprised to see his daughter and the children in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello, Melanie, I thought you were on a picnic, where is Walter?" Melanie looked at her father and said:

"Walter said he had to go to Tacoma for some reason!"

"Jeremy, why are you home so early?" Candy asked. At that moment, JJ (Jeremy James) was got down from the chair and went over to his grandpa and asked;

"Play with trees?" Grandpa Jeremy picked him up and said:
"I am sorry little fella, but not today." Then looking at his daughter he said:

"I would like it if you would take the children, home, your mother and I need to talk." Candy then said:

Have you asked Biddie or Essie? Maybe one of your other friends to watch the children?" Melanie took JJ from her father and said:

"Yes, they have other things to do as well!" Melanie said she was frustrated with her parents. Christopher knocked on the kitchen door and walked in and said:

"Candy, is there a way…." He looked at his niece and Candy and then at Jeremy and realized a family argument was about to start.

"Melanie, let me take the kids for you. I have nothing to do at this time!" Christopher said. Wally and Rose immediately went over to Christopher and JJ also wanted him as well.

"What did you need Chris?" Candy asked her brother.

"Nothing important, I will see you later!" He took the kids and walked out of the house. Melanie smiled and left as well. Candy took in a breathe and asked her husband:

"Jeremy are you ready to talk now?" Jeremy looked at his wife. He was ready but he wasn't sure she was so he asked;

"Only if you are? Would you like to walk out to the swing with me?" He said as he offered his hand. She took it and they walked out of the house in silence. The day was warm and the flowers were in bloom. They went to the large tree beside the creek that was near their house. He had picked this spot because it wasn't really in town, or at least when they first moved in, now it seemed that the town of Seattle had grown around them. Candy sat down on the swing that had been hung on the tree branch. Jeremy gently pushed the swing and watched as she went away and back. He did that for a few minutes, then stopped the swing and sat on it with her.

"Candy…"

"Jeremy…" They said together, they both laughed and then Candy said:

"You can go first…" Jeremy was about to say no, that she could go first but he changed his mind and said:

"I want you to know that I still love you very much. I don't understand why you were angry at me two nights ago, but it hurts me, to see you this way!" He said as he looked into her eyes. She had a tear coming down her cheek as she started to speak:

"Oh, Jeremy, I love you too, I am sorry, I was angry with you two nights ago. I have been this way for quite some time. I don't really know what is happening to me. But some days, I feel so down and unhappy and some days, I feel like crying and laughing. Sometimes, I am angry with myself so much that I get angry with you for not knowing I am angry with myself!" Jeremy really had no idea how or what she was talking about but he listened. She noticed that his face was a mix of love and confusion and she realized that he was trying to love her and understand her as well.

"C-C-Candy, is there something wrong, are you not feeling well? Maybe seeing a doctor can help?" He had forgotten already what they had argued about, and was more concerned for her health. She cried a bit and then stopped and said:

"I think that I am no longer able to have children? Lottie said something like this would happen but she is gone now, and I don't really have anyone to talk to?" Jeremy heard her and said:

"Candy, can you talk to Biddie, or maybe Fran or anyone of the other ladies here, there are a few that you are friends with at the church? What about Emily Perkins? Do you think she can help you with this?" Candy thought about it for a moment. Emily Perkins was still in Seattle; she was in her 60's old by the standards of the day. She and Ben Perkins only had two children, Ben Jr. and Emma. They had moved away to Tacoma and would come back and visit every now and then. Ben Sr. had passed away a few years ago and Emily Perkins was now a widow.

"She is a widow, so I don't know, if she can help" Candy said to Jeremy, who was still holding her.

"Why don't we take a walk over to her house and see if she is able to help?" Candy smiled and said okay. Jeremy helped her with her wrap and they walked over to Emily's home. It was one of the smaller cottages that Jason and his logging camp had built for the loggers who stayed and lived there in town.

"Jeremy, Candy, how are you? Please do come in!" Emily said when she opened the door.

"Let me fix some tea for you, I have some cookies that I made for Ben and the children, they come over sometimes just for a short visit!" She said as she went into the kitchen and put the teakettle on. Soon they were sitting in the parlor and sipping tea and cookies.

"Now, what can I do for you two?" Emily Perkins asked them. Jeremy was a little shy about taking about the subject so Candy asked Emily:

"Emily something is happening to me, and well, I can't have children anymore!" Candy said and started to cry. Jeremy held her hand and comforted her. Emily looked at them and said:

"Jeremy, is there something you need to do at home or in town for a couple of hours. This seems to be a woman's problem and I know you want to support her but…"

"Why does he have to go?" Candy asked Emily.

"The same reason the doctor doesn't tell a husband everything that a woman tells her. Remember when Allyn was the doctor? She helped us, but she did not tell the men anything about things that were more for women to hear!" Candy nodded. It was enough that Jeremy knew she was pregnant, not the other little things that come up during a pregnancy, unless of course it concerned more than the woman's body. Jeremy understood then and said:

"I do have some things to do at the office, Jake will be there and might need some help. I will come back in a couple of hours?" Emily nodded, Candy and Jeremy kissed.

"Now, Mrs. Bolt, we can have a woman to woman talk!" Emily said as she fixed up a special tea.

Chapter 2

A new outlook

When Candy and Jeremy arrived home that afternoon Molly had made dinner and was helping Melanie with the children.

"Candy, you are looking a lot better, what was wrong?" Molly asked her sister.

"Nothing that concerns you at this time!" Jeremy said. Candy smiled at him and said:

"We can have a 'girl talk' later!" Candy said to Molly

"Where is Melanie?" Molly was just turning around to place a plate of food for JJ. She looked at her sister and said:

"I will tell you later!" Molly said nodding to the children at the table. Candy understood and so did Jeremy. They did not talk about adult subjects in front of the children.

Melanie had gone to Tacoma to find Walter, she found him, but she was not happy about the outcome. She did not return home that night, but the next day arrived at her parent's house and without saying a word, took the children and left. Candy was upset and Jeremy went out the door and got brownie out of the barn and was about to go find Melanie, when Walter came up to the door.

"Walter, what happened?" Candy asked,

"Is Melanie here? The children?" Walter asked. Candy said 'no' and then Jeremy asked:

"Come out to the barn with me, Walter!" He looked at Jeremy and did as he was asked. Candy silently said a prayer and hoped that all would be well. She went inside to clean the kitchen and get things ready for dinner.

While Jeremy started on combing and cleaning Brownie, he asked Walter to explain what was happening.

"Well, Jeremy…" Jeremy's eyebrow went up and Walter corrected his statement:

"Dad, it seems that Melanie and I have 'drifted' away from each other!" She is always too busy and too tired when we go to bed. She also seems to be having a hard time sleeping, she gets up and then goes and sleeps on the couch. She seems angry with me and yet, she wants me? I am not sure what is happening with her. In fact, it seems as if she is not the same lady I married ten years ago. She doesn't compliment me anymore, she is always taking care of the children and not really talking to me or thinking about me?" He had picked up a comb and was helping with the horse.
Jeremy stopped and watched for a minute and then he said:

"What were you doing in Tacoma?" Walter did not look at him and did not want to say what he was doing. Jeremy said:

"You know, whatever it is, I will not tell her, or Candy but if it is something that is going to make the two of you drift farther apart, then I would like to know so I can help you get back together!" Jeremy said and he finally looked at his son-in-law who was looking at the ground, at the horse but not at Jeremy. They stood there like that ; Jeremy looking at his son-in-law and Walter looking at the horse, the ground or anything else but at Jeremy. Finally, Walter opened up and said:

"I went to Tacoma after we had our last argument, …"
"About what?"

"Well, it was about how I needed her, more, I wanted her, but she wasn't very close to me at all? Not like when we first were married! So, I left and went to Tacoma and took a room there. I swear, I did nothing, I just sat in the room, with a bottle of whiskey and stayed there. I was there for two nights and three days. She came and found me and rented the room next to mine. I was thinking of getting one of the girls but I had not been able to work myself up to that, when she showed up at the hotel."

Jeremy listened and then he asked him:

" Do you think you would have taken one of the girls eventually?" Walter looked Jeremy straight in the eyes and said:

"I think that if she had not shown up when she did, I think yes, I would have done that!" but I didn't!" Jeremy smiled and said:

"I was in a similar situation myself about ten or so years in my marriage with Candy. I was ready to leave her. I went to Tacoma, there was a dance hall that my brothers and I went to often before I met Candy and so I went there and stayed in a room. She showed up and well, you know Candy, she didn't just go to the room, she got hired and danced on stage and waited on tables. I didn't know she was there until I came down to see about getting a girl. When I saw her, I was very upset and first I was going to ignore her, but then one of the men made a pass at her and I could not let that happen, so I paid 'top dollar'…" Jeremy said this with a smile from the memory;

"…and took her up to my room. There we yelled and talked for about two hours. The manager came up to see if she was coming back down and I told him, she had quit the job and was coming back home with me!" Walter laughed. And asked:

"So, she probably has told Melanie a few things and that is where Melanie got the idea?" Jeremy smiled and said 'yes'. He was secretly proud of his daughter and his wife. They really loved their husbands and would do anything to keep them.

"Walt? Walt, are you in there?" A voice called from outside the barn. Jeremy and Walter looked at each other and Walter said:

"Yes, I am Melanie, come on in!" Melanie came in to the barn, she had taken the children to Jacob's home, his wife was home and had four children of her own but always welcomed more family.

"Walt, are you ready to talk to me now?" She asked him, he smiled and nodded to Jeremy and the two of them walked out of the barn over to the tree with the swing.