DENTISTRY

Sato squealed like a gutted pig. Sero and Ojiro ran hot on his heels.

"It's for your own good!"

"Lies! Teeth men bring pain!"

Sero looped his tape around Sato's ankles. Sato chugged a bag of sugar and sprinted away.

Shoji spoke into a walkie talkie. "Target's headed to the third floor."

"Interception team is ready." Kirishima dug his feet into the floor, and Sato barreled into him.

"I got him!" Kirishima crowed.

"You no got me!"

The floor peeled back. Kirishima went flying as Sato dove out the window. He landed onto two sticky spheres.

"I got him!" Mineta cheered. "Now you gotta let me touch-"

With a bestial roar, Sato yanked his foot up. A chunk of earth came up with it.

"Aw come on!"

Todoroki froze the entire campus. As Sato slipped and slid, he chugged a jug of maple syrup.

"Oh no."

Sato pirouetted gracefully and shoulder-checked Todoroki into the side of a building.

Ochako skated out onto the ice. She slapped a hockey puck at Sato's face. Sato bit it into chunks and brandished his own hockey stick. The two clashed amidst frozen bushes and glittering grass. Ochako thrust, Sato batted it aside and rammed a shoulder forward. Ochako dipped, spun, and hooked her stick behind Sato's ankle. Sato backflipped and slammed his stick into Ochako's chin. Gritting teeth through the pain, Ochako grabbed on and nullified Sato's gravity.

Sato squeezed honey into his mouth. As Momo aimed the net cannon, Sato sprung tiny bee wings. Despite the absurdity of wing to body ratio, Sato zipped about without a care for physics, even after Ochako cancelled her Quirk.

"Are you heading to that new all you can eat sweets buffet?"

"There's sweets?"

"Come back down here."

Sato drifted down to Shinso. As Sero walked over to carefully tape him up, Sato's face twitched. His fist slammed Shinso into a tree.

"No go tooth thief!" Sato roared. "No!"

He took out a green can. Everyone went pale as he shotgunned its contents. His skin sprouted violet hair, and his eyes took on a feral yellow tinge.

"Who didn't ditch their energy drink stash?" Momo shouted.

Kaminari whistled and looked away.

Sato screamed like a kaiju and tore through the dorm building. The ground quaked with his every step. Kirishima heroically tried to stop him and got driven into the ground like a nail. As Sato lumbered towards the gate, Aizawa glared at him. Sato conked out in his birthday suit.

"Fail, all of you. Twenty laps."

The students groaned.

Later, Sato's eyelids fluttered open. Pearlescent gates stood on a bed of clouds, and a winged man in a white robe greeted him.

"The dentist killed me, didn't he?" Sato asked.

"What? No, your teeth were perfect! Not a single cavity."

"Then why am I here?"

"For your cleaning. Don't you remember?"

Sato blinked. The clouds turned into tile floor, the gates into a door frame, and the angel traded his robes for dentist scrubs.

Sato screamed.

500

Teeth men bring me lots of pain today. Three bad teeth. Teeth man drill hole, fill with fake teeth. Teeth make pain all day.

I think today calls for a pint of custard from a cash only place that looks like it got encased in amber in the seventies. Place is so crazy good it has lines in the middle of winter. At night.