Chapter Sixteen: Back To The Bunker
When she got back to the Mystery Shack, Mabel laid on her bed for a few hours and never slept. Her mind raced yet stayed frozen. It moved in every direction yet stood stagnant. She couldn't think, but all she could do was think.
Dipper pestered her. Of course he did. He'd been worried sick. She gave a vague answer and the 'I'm too tired' excuse to ward him off. It worked, but he promised to bring it up later, and fully expected an explanation.
As she laid in bed for most of the day, she tried to string together one, but she couldn't. Even though it should be simple. She slipped a few times to a boy, but Pacifica's family never discovered her identity. The skinsuit's drawback took effect, and she passed out. She would've died if a stranger hadn't saved her and took her to Mr. Oakle.
The only thing...that stranger may very well be the new author. The same one that's been watching Dipper since summer's beginning.
She pushed it off, promising to would bring it up later. But the more time passed, the further she would procrastinate. At one point, she got up to eat some lunch, then when she went back upstairs to their room, Pacifica was there.
Apparently, she'd been grounded for three days thanks to Mabel's little incident with Cody, the power outage, etcetera, and she wanted to get out of the manor. At least, that's what was told to her through a distracted explanation while she played video games with Dipper.
He'd mentioned that the date went well, but he didn't go into further detail. Mabel, for once, didn't press, due to her scattered brain.
Now, she was beyond curious. The vibe between them had changed. The short distance between their seated positions on Dipper's bed, the arm grazing, the stolen glances...something happened on that date. Something new and wonderful.
For a second, Mabel distracted herself from her author worries, instead focusing on the newest update of her romance project. Dipcifica!
The two of them had set up a short wooden stand and a small flat screen in the time she'd been eating lunch with Grunkle Stan, connecting Dipper's game console up with a black cord and igniting two controllers. Mabel had no idea what they were playing, but it looked violent and complicated.
"So...what brings ya here, Pacifica?" Mabel asked mischievously, peeking her head out from behind the TV, "Didn't get enough yesterday?"
Neither of them paid her any mind. They kept their eyes glued to the screen, fingers furiously mashing the controller buttons.
"You're totally cheating!" Dipper protested, "You've never even played Battlestorm before!"
Pacifica smirked, "Haven't you figured it out by now? I'm better than you at everything."
He bumped her with his shoulder, nearly knocking her over, "Not at solving mysteries!"
She bumped him back, "I haven't had the chance! I bet if I did, I'd solve them twice as fast as you!"
"You wish!"
Mabel bounced in front of them, "Guys! I'm dying here!"
Both of them winced at the intrusion and tried to look around her, but it was no use. A series of bullets boomed from the TV's sound system and both playable characters screamed. Dipper and Pacifica groaned, tossing their controllers beside them.
"Mabel! You made us die!"
"You should honestly be grateful. She just saved you from getting embarrassed by a beginner."
Mabel sunk to a cross-legged position, looking up at both of them with wide, observant eyes, "Something changed."
They looked at each other, puzzled. Dipper cocked his head, "What are you talking about, Mabel?"
She watched them a few seconds longer, trying to piece together a guess. A couple ran through her mind, but she dismissed them. No, it wasn't anything bad or weird, so it had to be...
Oh.
The brightness in her smile could've burned away the entire Shack. Mabel shook with giddiness, "You guys kissed!"
Bingo. The reaction was all the confirmation she needed. Immediately, the space between them grew three feet, as if two strings yanked them to opposite ends of the bed.
"No! We...we didn't!"
"As if! I'd rather kiss your pig than him!"
Mabel gasped, "You wanna kiss Waddles?" She scooted back a few paces and retrieved her pig buddy from his spot under her bed, hoisting him over to Pacifica, who reared her head back at the sudden action.
"Go ahead," Mabels said, "But I gotta warn you, he's a slobberer."
Pacifica pushed Waddles away, "I'm not kissing your pig! Ugh! Why do you have to butt in to everything?"
Mabel sat Waddles back on the floor, "Well, I did risk my life by going to your family's party. So I think I deserve a little spilled tea on how the date went."
"Okay," Dipper said, craning forward and knitting his eyebrows sternly, "Then you spill the tea on what exactly happened at that party. You still haven't told me why you were out so late."
She began sweating, "Uh...so, you guys kissed! Are you boyfriend and girlfriend now?"
Funnily enough, they didn't deny the accusation a second time, instead absorbing the latter question with a more sincere examination.
Dipper began picking at the small bumps on his sheets, hiding his eyes with his hat. An obvious anxious tick that Mabel had seen hundreds of times, "We haven't...talked about it yet."
"Yeah," Pacifica added.
Before Mabel could don her couple's counseling hat, a firm knock rang on the attic door, pushing it open from its cracked position. When she registered the sound and turned to look, she saw Grunkle Ford's head near the top of the doorway.
"Mabel," He addressed, "Could you come with me for a moment?"
She stiffened, glancing back and forth between the doorway and Dipper. Grunkle Ford was requesting her presence? Not his partner in nerd crime?
Normally, she'd be over the moon at the prospect of spending some time with him. A duo mission with Grunkle Ford was long overdue, and she often regretted not making an effort to make it happen last summer.
But his grim tone...this wasn't a fun bonding-through-mystery-solving type thing with his niece, this was something serious.
"Sure, Grunkle Ford. I'll be down in a sec!"
He nodded, never smiling, never blinking. If anything, he only grew more paranoid by the second, eyes flicking all around the attic, especially at the corners of the roof just before he ducked back and closed the door.
Mabel hopped up, walking backwards and wagging her finger at the happy not-yet couple, "Alright lovebirds, I've got some business to take care of, so why don't you talk about your relationship status? Yeah! Don't go thinking about what I'm doing, heh, just talk about you two! Go Dipcifica!"
She knew Dipper was putting the dots together that something strange was up, so she slipped out as fast as she could, finding Grunkle Ford waiting at the edge of the staircase, his faraway elbow bent and tucked against his hip.
"So, what's up, dawg?"
He looked down at her and nodded, "Mabel, I'm sorry to bother you, but this couldn't wait. Would you mind following me to my lab? There's something we must discuss alone."
Mabel frowned, "Is Grunkle Stan having another mid-sorry, late-life crisis? Do we need to have an intervention?"
He chuckled, "No. I'm afraid Stanley is on his own as far as crises go. This concerns something else. Come."
She followed him down to the end of the stairs, passing Grunkle Stan lounging in his recliner, hand deep in a bag of chips.
Ford paused to stare at his brother, making Mabel bump into his thigh. It made her giggle.
"It's early afternoon," He said skeptically, "Aren't you supposed to be in the gift shop with Soos?"
Grunkle Stan spoke through his chip-filled mouth, "That's the best part about retirement, sixer, I don't have to work! Ha!"
"But you aren't retired. You quite literally said the other day that you were business partners."
"Exactly. He's the laborious side of the partnership, and I'm the management side. As you can see, I'm doing a lot of supervising."
Mabel was all for lazing around inside on a summer day, but while Soos worked his butt off trying to keep the Shack running? She wouldn't stand for this injustice!
"Grunkle Stan!" She scolded, "What kind of example are you setting for me? At this rate, I'll grow up and become a slob!"
"I've seen your room, kid. You're headed in that direction either way."
Both she and Ford's glares finally earned the old man's eyes. When they made contact, he rolled them and groaned, "It's a slow day, you two. Melody's running the counter and Soos is still helping clean out the fairgrounds. Happy now?"
"You should really consider exercising," Ford suggested sarcastically, "I hear it's good for your heart."
Grunkle Stan turned back toward the TV, digging through the chip bag again, "Like you're any better. You just sit down in that lab all the time and mess around with tech junk! It's not exactly a gym down there!"
"He's hopeless. Come on, Mabel."
She tried giving Grunkle Stan a disapproving, albeit playful shake of her head, but he was completely focused on whatever low budget program Gravity Falls Public Access had to offer today.
Then, came a knock on the front door. A fast one, almost like two hands were beating on it at once. Mabel stared at it. Was it the mailman delivering the new book in the Wolfman Bare Chest series? If so, that extra fast shipping she paid for definitely worked!
"Can one of you get the door?!" Grunkle Stan requested loudly from the living room, "My butt's glued to this seat and I don't feel like moving!"
"I'll get it!" Mabel chirped happily. She heard the cover of this one was supposed to be extra steamy. Candy and Grenda are gonna be so jealous!
Grinning like a cheshire, she threw open the door, preemptively speaking, "So, where do I sign, Mr-"
She choked on her own words. Literally choked. It wasn't the mailman. It was Cody Lavendra. Her temporary boytoy from the party yesterday.
"Oh! Hey, I'm uh...wow, this is awkward. I thought I'd know what to say when someone answered the door," He cleared his throat and straightened, "My name is Cody. I'm looking for a girl named Pacifica Northwest. Some of the people in town said she might be here."
Mabel stood there, completely frozen with her mouth agape. No way. This had to be a dream. A fantasy. Yes, a fantasy! There's no way her boytoy came back to her after that magical night. It would be like fate or something. Mabel's not so naive anymore. She's grown to see the reality of romance. It isn't like the movies or the books, where two people meet, instantly fall in love, kiss in the rain, and live happily ever after. It's hard to make a relationship work, and most of them don't last. Even if you're married.
She's come to learn firsthand that the last part is true.
So she pinched herself to wake up in her bed. Nothing happened. She didn't snap up or open her eyes to find Dipper at the other end of the room or Waddles beneath her. Everything remained the same.
This was real. And she's still standing like a statue, unblinking at this perfect demigod of a boy.
Cody leaned down at bit, searching in her eyes for some sign of life, "Are you okay?"
"Yes!" She blurted, "Yes, I am quite alright, sir! Um...oh man, you're gorgeous."
"Sorry?"
"Uh, I said Pacifica's not here!" Gosh, Mabel, keep it together, "Can I take a message?"
He sighed, running a hand through his wavy blonde hair. He looked much different than when she saw him last. Before, he'd been dressed to the nine. A suit, tie, shined shoes, golden cufflinks with his family crest. But today everything had been downplayed to a much more casual hoodie and jeans look, likely to disguise himself from being recognized by the rich investors still loitering around town.
"No," He replied, "That's fine, thank you. Sorry to bother you. Have a good day, ma'am."
Mabel silently swooned. He was a gentleman even outside of the party setting, too! Before he could slouch away, Mabel dashed outside and touched his shoulder.
"Hey, wait a second. I'm a friend of hers. I can literally take a message if you want."
She felt bad about lying to him, but even through her batting eyelashes, she can keep her cool. She needs to after almost blowing her cover last night and getting Pacifica grounded. The fact that people directed Cody here to find her in the first place is concerning. If they know, then her parents definitely know by now, and Cody more than likely went to look at the Manor first.
"Just tell her that I had a great time at the party last night, and..." He trailed off, trying to find the right string of words, "...It would be really nice to see her again."
She's standing right in front of you! It was on the tip of her tongue, but thankfully she held it in. It's for Pacifica's safety; it's for Pacifica's safety. Stay strong.
Mabel managed to swallow down the lump in her throat, "I'll tell her. And hey, if it helps...she told me she had an awesome time last night too."
His eyes lit up, "Really? She said that?"
She nodded, biting her lip to keep the truth in, "Totally. You know how on the animal channel, the elephants wrap their trunks together? Well, her trunk's ready for wrapping! That's exactly what she told me!"
Cody smiled dreamily, "Sounds like her. She had such a unique vocabulary."
"I love you."
"What?"
"I said have a good day! Bye!" Before she did anything rash, she slammed the door in his face and scurried back to Grunkle Ford's side, who'd watched the entire exchange with furrowed eyebrows.
"New boyfriend of yours?"
"I wish."
"I see. Anyway, there's little time, so let's go!"
Before she knew it, he'd entered in the code on the vending machine keypad and descended to the basement, Mabel on his heels.
A short ride on the elevator later, they came into the dark lab, lights flickering on and off, glass containers with weird fleshy creatures laying to and fro, paper files documenting the research...it was a far cry from last year. Mabel remembered it well. Being torn between her desire to trust her Grunkle and thinking he's a traitor. The portal. The gravity threatening to suck them all in.
"I trust you."
And she did. They're still here, together. She'd made the right choice then.
"It looks different," She commented idly.
"Different how?"
"It looks...lived in. Like an apartment on a spaceship or something."
"Well, considering I do live down here, that's a fitting comparison."
"Wait, you do? I thought you had your own room upstairs."
"You don't remember? Soos's grandmother took my old one. I offered. I'd rather be a few steps away from my research anyway, so it's a win-win."
Mabel gawked, "You don't wanna bunk with your bro-bro? You're missing out on quality time with him, Grunkle Ford!"
"Please," He grunted, "I spent enough time with Stanley in the Artic Ocean. Besides, I've got a lot of ground to cover gauging the weirdness waves left over from Weirdmageddon. They could be seeping out into the rest of the country! Heh, it's exciting!"
"What about the rest of us? Don't get me wrong, I know your science-y thingamajigs are super important, but we're important too! And don't think I haven't noticed your recent absences at family dinner, mister! Cause' I have!"
"Your point?"
He sat down in his spinning chair, digging around on the right side of his trench coat. The part he had tucked close earlier.
"Well, it's just...you're...old. Not old-old, but getting there, ya know? Don't you want to spend as much time with your family as possible? Especially after being away for so long?"
Ford momentarily ceased his pocket raiding, face shadowed by the dim lighting, creased with conflict. Mabel wasn't sure what to make of it. He'd always been invested in his work, but at the end of last summer when he and Grunkle Stan hashed things out, he seemed to come around to the idea of family.
Now though, he looked more like his old self. The one that first emerged from the portal. Still caught between worlds, not ready to forgive his brother.
He shook his head, "We don't have time to talk about that right now. I need to show you what I found in your room today."
Taking out a curled fist from his pocket, Ford tossed the contents on the table like dice. Three small, metal spheres rolled to a stop in a triangular formation, each one like shiny stainless steel, with small red circles facing toward her. Each one looked like a camera lens.
"They're surveillance cameras," Ford said, answering her silent question, "In each corner of your room. I've only seen this kind of high technology in the government's hands."
Mabel looked at him with wide eyes, "Someone's been watching us?"
"Yes. And I have a strong suspicion as to who." He ran a gloved hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, "Dipper asked me not to get involved with his investigation of this new author, but I began worrying that If I didn't step in, something dangerous could happen. I was right." He pointed toward the cameras, "These were installed quite some time ago, and whoever did it, was stealthy enough to do it without any of us noticing."
Mabel's palms began tingling nervously. The idea that the same stranger that saved her last night had been watching her since they got back to Gravity Falls...well, creepy didn't begin to cover it.
She tried to rationalize, "I mean, how do we know it's the author? Maybe Grunkle Stan wanted to make sure we were safe, so he had some cameras installed when we were in town or something."
Ford shook his head, "I already asked if he recognized them. He thought they were marbles."
"W-What about Soos?"
"I didn't ask anyone else. I didn't have to." He grabbed one off the table and brought it closer to her, showing a tiny rectangular slot on the underside of the camera, "I pulled out its data card and traced the signal to my old bunker in the woods. Whoever installed these is holed up in there. That's where the new author's been living."
"But that's not far at all!"
"No, it's not." Ford sat the camera down and marched over to a locker, retrieving one of his ray guns, "So it shouldn't take us long to take matters into our own hands."
Mabel stepped in front of him, hands out calmingly, "Woah, woah. You wanna go there and confront this guy?"
"Not confront," He said, "They more than likely noticed the cameras being disabled and took off. The bunker will be empty when we get there, but that doesn't mean we can't find anything valuable. Information, technology...something they forgot and left behind."
She felt safe with Grunkle Ford. After all, he was the premiere monster hunter in town, even better than Dipper, so everything should be fine, right?
Unless this person was even better than him. But that couldn't be possible. Grunkle Ford knew everything about the weirdness of Gravity Falls. He wrote the three original journals; he'd been studying this kind of thing long before she and Dipper were even born. She had to put faith in him, because if he couldn't handle it, no one could.
"There's another thing," She admitted, "I...sort of saw him last night."
"The author? Where?"
As quickly as she could, covering as many details as possible, Mabel relayed last night's events at the party. The skinsuit from Mr. Oakle's shop, its drawback, the stranger, waking up on a metal bed. She left out most of the stuff with Cody, seeing no incentive to mention that here.
"And then bam- I'm back in Mr. Oakle's shop good as new! They left me this creepy note." Remembering where she hid it, Mabel reached inside her sweater and pulled out the small slip of paper, handing it over to Ford.
He read the neat scribble with narrowed eyes, "This is odd. It says, 'your brother has a friend from afar, and now so do you.' So there are two of them?"
Mabel reared her head back in shock. She hadn't even considered that. She just assumed it meant that they were watching both of them now, and not just Dipper.
It sort of made sense. It could be read that way. But there's no way there's more than one, right?
"I never thought about that. I just figured...one person...extra friendly? But it's more of a two-for-two deal, I guess."
"Maybe not," Ford countered, "It's just an idea. Either way, he, she, or they, need to be stopped. Regardless of their intentions, if they saved you or not last night, watching you without your permission crosses a line of privacy."
Mabel gave him a crisp salute, "Sir yes sir! Operation six-fingered shooting star is a go!"
"I'm unfamiliar with the meaning of this operation name. Explain."
"You know. Six fingers. Shooting star. Our symbols! Combine them and you get the ultimate team-up!"
Ford looked up at the basement's ceiling in thought, "Hmm, we really haven't teamed up before, have we? I suppose this is long overdue, Mabel." He looked back at her, "By the way, did you tell Dipper about last night?"
She held her salute, "Nope! I'm a coward, sir!"
Ford threw his hand dismissively, "Ah, I understand your reservations. Sometimes we'll do whatever we can to protect our siblings. Dipper's pride would be crushed if we told him what we were doing, so I think it's for the best that we keep this secret."
"Well, it's not just that. Everything's finally going well for Dipcifica-"
"What?"
"Dipper and Pacifica's couple name. Keep up, Grunkle Ford! Anyway, things are finally going semi-well for the two of them and I just think filling his nerdy head with all this new information would ruin it!"
"Precisely," Ford agreed, albeit not quite following Mabel's obsession with someone else's relationship, "I never thought the names Pines and Northwest would mingle beyond real estate. I just hope her family doesn't find out, for his sake."
Mabel bounced giddily, "I know, right?! It's like Romeo and Juliet, hillbilly edition!"
He chuckled at her antics, the eyes behind his glasses looking past her appearance and seeing something else, either years in the past or years in the future.
"What?"
"You remind me so much of Stanley when we were kids."
The sentiment warmed Mabel's heart, "Aw, really? You know, he walks around in his boxers a lot, so I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult."
"You know, Mabel, I want to apologize for not making more of an effort to get to know you last summer. With everything going on with Bill and Weirdmageddon...well, that's no excuse. If I showed favoritism towards Dipper, I'm sorry. I want you to know that I care for you both equally."
Mabel couldn't help it. The overstimulation of affection made her rush forward and clutch Ford's hip with a hug. It kind of surprised her. When he wasn't talking about monsters and weirdness charts, he could be quite soft and mushy!
She felt a large hand rest on her head and ruffle her hair, "Alright, we should be going. Operation six-fingered shooting star is a go."
Mabel jumped back excitedly, "Ooh, it's even cooler when you say it! We need our own badges! Oh, and our own handshake! Stick yours out!"
He outstretched his hand, to which she responded by bringing her fist down wide and imaginative, making a roaring sound effect with her mouth, then an explosion when their limbs made contact.
"Boom! Shooting star! Now, the badges..."
Ford reached down to stabilize her shoulders and snap her out of it, "The badges can come later. Time is of the essence." With that, he whipped around and made a way to the elevator, "Grab those cameras, please! They may come in handy!"
Mabel did as instructed, then scurried over, chanting their operation name over and over while Ford stood silently, pressing the up button.
Pacifica's body had never reacted to emotion this way before.
Everything had changed.
Yes. Those three words summed it up pretty well. Everything had changed. It was true. With one risky move at the peak of a Ferris wheel, she'd changed everything drastically.
And it had been great. Words couldn't describe the feeling. Awkward enough as the kiss had been, it had also been wonderful and freeing. Her first, with a boy she actually liked. Not forced with her fingers crossed behind her back at some uptight gathering. It had been on her own terms. Her own way.
For the next few minutes, as long as the ride stoppage lasted, they watched the sunset together. She had her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her back pulling her in close. It made her feel safe. Protected from the harsh world tearing after her.
Her escape.
But now...that bubble had popped. Fear began to set in. It hadn't fully replaced the excitement at the prospect of furthering things with Dipper, but it was there, creeping in slowly like a disease. These routines of her sneaking through his window, playing video games, spending just enough time with him to get that fix...it wouldn't last.
And Mabel with all of her stupid bluster. Why'd she have to go and throw those words around?
After she left with the other, nerdier uncle, the vibe had been completely killed. An uncomfortable silence fell over the both of them, with her near the bed's headboard (which by the way, their room was so them) and Dipper at the other end, staring blankly at the TV screen.
She tried to resurrect the vibe by tossing him his controller, "Ready for another beating? I can play blindfolded if it helps."
His voice came a shade above a whisper, passing through hands rested on his chin, "Are we?"
Those two words sent electricity down her arms. She knew what the question meant. It was daunting. It would force her to confront what all of this really meant. What it was beyond her desire-filled glasses.
So she played dumb, "Are we what?"
Before he turned to face her, he removed his hat, releasing the inviting mess of brown curls she liked. He scratched at the underside of its brim with his thumbnail, "What Mabel said. Boyfriend and girlfriend."
No stutter. No tremble. It was a far cry from the Dipper that usually appeared. This was important to him. He was dead serious. Now, she's the nervous one, wishing she had a hat of her own to hide behind.
But she didn't, so she tried to mask everything with ignorance, pushing his controller at him again. "Come on, load up another game. We can play something else."
"What are we doing?"
Pacifica glanced at him, unable to hold the gaze. Not when he's looking at her with those warm, pleading brown eyes, trying to find an answer.
She chuckled nervously, "Messing around. You know, like yesterday?"
That sounded wrong.
Dipper reacted accordingly, "Messing around? Yesterday meant something to me, Pacifica."
"It meant something to me too. I kissed you, remember?"
"Yeah, and it was great. But we haven't talked about what comes next. We haven't talked about...where we're at now."
We should. I want to. But I'm afraid.
"What's there to talk about? We kissed. Wasn't it clear?"
"Then why can't you say it?"
Because I'm afraid. Because it will hurt more when we get torn apart.
He didn't let up, "Are you ashamed of me?"
She lurched forward, immediately grabbing his hand, "No! God no, I'm- I just don't know why we have to label it. Why can't we just...do this? Just be together and have fun?"
"We can do that as boyfriend and girlfriend, though." He squeezed her hand, encompassing it with his comforting grip, "I'm confused. Did I say something, or-?"
"Why do we have to label it?" She repeated.
"Because I want to," He argued softly, "And if you don't...that's fine. It's fast, I know. If that's the reason, tell me. I just want to know what you're thinking."
The truth almost came out at that moment. It should've been enough, but it wasn't. The mask still held firm.
But not everything could be hidden, "Because it's temporary, Dipper!"
He blinked, "What?"
"At the end of the summer, you and Mabel will be gone, and I'll still be here, alone. We're thirteen. What do we know about making this stuff work? Especially with all of that distance?"
He squinted skeptically, not buying it, "Is that really it?"
To be honest, it was part of it. But only the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more. Her family would throw a fit. She'd mess something up or say the wrong thing. She would become uncaring and slip back to her old ways. Dipper would get tired of her and find someone better.
Her family would throw a fit.
The Northwest name could never be outran, even when it came to this.
"Yeah, that's it," She lied, "So why can't it just stay where it is for the summer? We hold hands, we get ice cream, and get annoyed by Mabel half the time. Isn't that good enough?"
The disappointed gleam in his eyes tore at her heart like a poison-soaked dagger. Disapproving. Like a stranger. Like before when they didn't know each other. When she was someone else.
Right now, she's proving that she's still that someone. Afraid of her family. Obeying their every command. No autonomy over herself.
"I like you too much for that to be good enough, Pacifica," He said, "And I don't believe that you don't care as much as I do."
She swallowed, "I care enough to end it when things are good. Not when they become impossible to maintain over hundreds of miles!"
He sighed, "If you're not willing to have faith in it...then maybe we should just cut it off now."
She didn't have to fake a reaction to that. Her eyes stung, her heartbeat accelerated in a panic. The entire world began falling around her, crashing and burning to the ground in a blazing, tragic fire.
Dipper could already tell the words, while he may not have fully meant them, acted as a devastating arrow through the chest. "Pacifica, wait, I didn't mean-"
"I need to go."
He tried to keep the grip on her hand, but she pulled away, not really understanding why. She's the one acting weird and hiding the truth. But she could see the familiar cage bars closing in, trapping her in a tiny space. For some reason she couldn't just say what was really on her mind. Though the mental limiter on her brain had been severely chipped away, especially in the past year...old habits die hard.
She didn't do feelings. She didn't understand them. If she could read a manual or a guidebook, she would, but for now, it's all about trial and error. Testing herself in the field.
She's failing the test.
Before she knew it, her body had brought her to the attic door, foregoing stealth. "It's been too long anyway. Father and Grandfather have probably already noticed I'm gone."
"Pacifica," He called, "Please. Let's just talk about this."
With her back turned to him, she closed her eyes tight. The pull against her to go back and spill everything was strong, but the pull toward the manor was stronger, backed by a fear instilled since birth.
It won. She held her breath and slipped out of the attic, walking down the stairs and through the living room like a zombie. The lazy uncle, Stan, may have grunted something in surprise to her presence, but he never made an attempt to stop her. She kept going, staring forward in a trance.
When she reached the warm breeze of the outdoors, she pulled out her phone and texted Lars to hurry. He was set to pick her up forty-five minutes after she snuck out, but she was a little early.
While holding the phone screen-up in her palm, blinking back tears, a foreign presence approached her from the left.
"Pacifica?"
She gave a half-interested glance to the new voice, then did a double take. It was a boy. A very attractive boy, a foot taller than her, beach blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin, white teeth...basically a mirrored version of herself. Pacifica could never really imagine what a sibling of hers would look like, but this might be the best representation of that guess. He had all of her features, and he was almost as good looking.
So what the heck is he doing hanging around a dump like this?
"Who are you?"
He came up to her with a big smile, "You don't remember? Cody, from last night! We were at your family's party together. I taught you how to ride peacocks, remember?"
Pacifica curled her lip, an inch away from retorting with some default snippy comment. Then...she remembered the entire rouse that started all of this. The party. The skinsuit. Mabel pretending to be her. She must've made a spark with this boy last night.
Really though? Mabel and this guy? She knew her old frenemy was pretty, not that she'd ever admit it, but this guy's an eleven. It's aiming awfully high.
Then again, Mabel used her appearance, so it made sense in the long run. Who wouldn't be drawn to someone as cute as her?
Despite not being in the mood, she tried to save her cover, "Oh...right. That was fun."
"Yeah. You know, I was hoping I'd see you again. Your friend said you weren't here, though. Guess she must've forgot or something."
"Yeah. She's very...uh, forgetful."
Cody scratched at the back of his neck. A nervous tick reminding her of Dipper, which brought another throb on her heart, "So, did you get in trouble for what happened?"
"I got grounded."
"Oh...I'm sorry."
She craned her head to peek down the trail in front of the Shack, searching impatiently for Lars, "It's fine. I'm used to it."
Suddenly, his head and neck were in her line of sight, his eyes scanning her mouth, which she thought was rather rude for someone allowed to attend a high-class party.
"Uh, what are you doing? I'm not afraid to smack you."
"I'm sorry, it's just...what happened to your braces?"
Crap.
Pacifica can be a good liar. She did it for years after all, so she should be. "I had them removed this morning."
"And your voice is a little different too. It has less personality."
"Excuse me, but I have a lot of personality!"
By that time, the family limo flattened the dirt at the clearing between the Shack's front and the bundle of forest, waiting with the engine running gently. She was both relieved and mortified to see it. A part of her never wanted to go back again, but the other part couldn't face Dipper. Not after disappointing him like that.
"My ride's here. Gotta go." She spun around and took off after the long vehicle, with Cody's voice chasing after her.
"Wait! I didn't mean to be rude! Can't we just talk for another minute or two?"
No response. She practically dove on the leather seats and closed the door shut behind her, drowning him out. She didn't have the energy to fully address this. She just wanted to lay face down on her bed and wallow in her own self-pity.
"Didn't go so well, did it, miss Pacifica?" Lars asked sympathetically, her expression no doubt an open book of stress and regret.
"No. I messed up again."
He laughed softly, "You're a teenager, miss. Messing up is how you learn."
For the duration of the ride home, she said nothing, and said nothing. Lars understood that she was having a tough time, and gave her that silent atmosphere to allow her to think. To reflect on her mistakes. Boy, did she need that time. It would take all the mental training in the world to unravel what just happened and pull herself out of this pit she dug.
It was simple. All she had to do was confirm what that kiss really meant and everything would be fine.
No, it wasn't that simple. It wasn't simple at all. There were so many factors to this, so many opposing forces at play here, fighting against her wishes. It becomes difficult at the first step, then impossible at the second, and downright overwhelming at the third. No matter what she did, she couldn't find freedom. Like being a frail bird stuck inside the hollow of an old tree, flying around the bark and trying to find a way out, but never possessing the strength to do it.
It seemed as if entering the forbidden depths of her mind pushed time forward. Hardly any time at all had passed between destinations. Lars had to break out the outside voice to garner her attention.
"Miss," He addressed, "We've arrived. Best be getting inside before someone notices."
She shook her head, pulling herself out of the mind depths, "Right. Yeah-yes, Lars. Thank you."
"Of course, miss."
With her emotions scrambled, Pacifica felt compelled to place a sincere hand on his shoulder, "Thank you."
The same two words with a different tone. A heavier weight, containing an underlying layer of expression to convey all the other words she couldn't say. It would take more time. More confrontation with herself to find them. But she was thankful to be treated with patience by at least one person her entire life. Like a human being.
Lars deserved more than a simple thanks. But right now, it was all she could offer.
He understood, and briefly covered her hand with his own, his elderly face crinkling with a smile, "You're quite welcome, miss."
Pacifica nodded at him. He pivoted the keys and killed the engine. Together, they left the vehicle and quietly walked toward the entrance. Knowing Father and Grandfather, they were having Scotch with the new investors and smoking cigars. They probably haven't even noticed her absence.
Lars opened the door for her, but not all the way. He stopped abruptly, nearly trapping her between his leg and the wooden frame. She began to ask what the heck was going on, but as she looked up, the shape of two figures registered in the movement of her vision.
She focused on them and her breath hitched. Father and Grandfather were right there. Fifteen feet from the doors, arms crossed, their eyes glowing a hateful red.
"I'm getting old, Preston," Auldman said, "Remind me, isn't she supposed to be grounded?"
"She was. Now, I believe she's supposed to be dead where she stands." Her father straightened his arm, checking the watch protruding from his sleeve, "I'll give you five minutes to explain yourself before I start talking, because believe me, I've got a lot to say."
-x-