"When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high-pilèd books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain.
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance... "
- "When I Have Fears" by John Keats
Warning : Very minimal Description of Torture in one scene. Happy Reading.
"Well done Ha-" , Hermione was about to comment but a streak of purple flame hit her and -
Hermione- Dolohov got Hermione !
Harry froze mid-combat. Neville was shouting...Ginny was fighting to her best abilities...but all Harry saw was Hermione getting hit by the purple curse and her slight "Oh" , she looked at Harry and ... thud ! She fell !
"HERMIONE !" , Harry cried aloud.
Harry felt the ground below him splitting open and as if he was falling and falling ...to no end.
Why did he lead his friends into this ...This was so clearly a trap ! She- Hermione knew - Harry thought , falling on his knees !
Hermione knew but still chose to come along , Hermione knew that her life could be at risk but still willingly came to fight besides Harry and now she was - Was SHE DEAD ?!
"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS", and Dolohov fell.
But , Harry's anger that radiated off of him as waves of great loss and hopelessness , found it's way through his hands...
His mind , moved over to a vision he had , a few days ago - Voldemort torturing a Muggle family and their pleas of mercy going unheard.
Bellatrix Lestramge and A few others laughing the most hideous laughter in unison !
Voldemort muttered , "Enough fun Bella !
We have places to go !..."
The flash of green and the white - marble like eyes of the Muggle figure , possibly the husband of the pleading woman went still.
The ticks of the wall clock rose all above any other sound, Even the death eaters weren't laughing anymore.
The woman, didn't bat an eye to her dead husband, laying on corpses of the bleeding pool of her children -
And the words that came from her were not pleas anymore ...
"You know what's more dangerous than sadistic terrorists like you ? A woman - A mother and A Wife - Who doesn't have anything left to lose ..."
Voldemort merely chuckled and remarked - "I could kill you right now - Silly girl !"
"Yeah , and that's the thing you monster ! You need power gratification to move on with your day...YOU FEAR DEATH !" , Her words were colder than the Slytherin dungeons on a winter evening , "But - I... I don't fear anything - Not DEATH -NOT YOU !"
"Well - You should ! I AM GOD ! I am the face you will see before Death !" Voldemort proclaimed, pride and overwhelming arrogance floating in his voice.
The woman did something most unexpected - She threw a major shard of a Vase lying close to her.
Voldemort raised his wand and most of the shard was evaporated while passing through the hastily raised shield , but a small part managed to land on his forehead.
From there , fell ...
A single drop of blood , before his cut was immediately closed.
Maniacally the Woman laughed , rolling around the ground , completely unaffected by her surrounding gore.
"YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE !" , She cried , as her laughter came to a halt -
A death eater kicked her on the face and with a cry she landed against the burnt wall.
"You ARE NOT A GOD ! " She cried again ,panting, her voice ringing across the house ,"YOU BLEED - JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE ! Gods don't bleed..."
"Enough with your sermons !" Voldemort growled, clattering his teeth in pure fury.
"Bleedoro Viscus!" , he cried - and the skin of the woman vanished as with a faint cry , she perished , as all the blood in her body, flowed all over the room in streams and splatters - layering the floor with a muck of red.
The death eaters , heading towards the door ,were surprised, as by a swift motion of wand , Voldemort said barely above a whisper - "Obliviate" and they fell unconscious...
Bellatrix, standing next to him kneeled on her knees and in a deep bow stated , "You need not erase my memories , My Lord ! I'll die before I disclose today's events to anyone."
"Maybe - ", Muttered Voldemort, in mock-thoughtfullness , "But you have seen me bleed , and a servant must not think of their master as weak ... As they say , it is once they see you bleed , that they will be out for those drops of blood !"
And before she could blink again,a white light prevailed and Only two people in the world were left with the knowledge of what happened that day.
Harry's head was ringing and he snapped back to the present, but his emotions overwhelmed his body , as before he could think rationally , the words slipped out - "Bleedoro Viscus" and as Harry flinched , looking away from Dolohov and a splattering sound confirming that his spell was successful - A singular drop of blood fell on his palm , but it was not his own.
Before he could come to an explanation for what happened , He remembered - Hermione ! She was hit by Dolohov...
Harry , too overdone by all this - crawled to her , she looked pale and white - and lifeless ...
"NO ! No-No No No , Please DON'T BE DEAD ! He will never curse anybody else, EVER AGAIN ! Come back - Please - Please ..." Harry muttered , too weak with emotions to properly voice his pleas and then Neville Groped for her wrist , "That's a pulse Harry ! I'd be sure it is- "
And the most tremendous wave of relief washed over Harry ! She was alive and that was all that mattered...
"ALIVE - ALIVE ! UNCONSCIOUS BUT ALIVE -", Harry kept muttering when a curse shot past him -
He returned to the fighting and soon Sirius and other members of the Order arrived !
Harry was fighting alongside Sirius although his mind occasionally still wandered over to if Hermione was safe -
"Come on you can do better than that !" , Sirius commented , chuckling and that's when it happened !
Sirius was fighting Bellatrix and the green light, which Harry was familiar with by now - Thanks to his visions, hit him squarely on his chest ... Slowly - as if frozen in time - he passed on through the veil.
Harry's screams and struggles that night were all in vain , as Lupin held him back from following through , and Bellatrix laughed on , and eventually Dumbledore Duelled Voldemort in the Ministry and The entire world knew - He and the Headmaster were NOT lying !
From all the political pressure , Fudge had to resign immediately and Voldemort was obviously going to start attacking much more openly and rapidly , according to Dumbledore, as he couldn't let the Wizarding world settle down and brace themselves for the inevitable...
That night , back at Hogwarts , after an enlightening session in the Headmaster's Office where Dumbledore kept looking at Harry strangely as if he was contemplating between asking something of him and then deciding against it - Harry walked on through the Hallway.
As Dumbledore so casually mentioned, he had the weight of the entire Wizarding World on his shoulders and here he was , making ill judged decisions that made his friends suffer through time and time.
Harry didn't want to see Hermione's limp-unconscious form again , as he feared he wouldn't be able to refrain himself from breaking down completely, if he did.
He was sitting in an empty classroom , when he felt someone else's presence.
Luna , the quirky Ravenclaw , normally full of life and calm - looking disheveled sat beside Harry and put her arm through his , leaning into his shoulder and ...
She cried , furious tears coursing down her heavenly face- Her blonde trails, now a messy nest , her eyes puffed and her body shaking.
Harry let her sob and he knew he was being terrible company , not trying to make her feel better , but he knew this - sometimes all one needs to feel better is someone trustworthy to relax into and show the vulnerable side to.
He was honoured that Luna trusts her enough for this...but then again Harry and his friends were the only ones Luna had , as previously stated by the witch - She didn't have any friends in her year save for Ginny.
"Thanks...H -Harry Potter", she sobbed "for being my friend. I never told you this - But I really a-appreciate you for always being there for me."
Harry nodded , again mentally berating himself for being terrible company. But he was in too disfigured of a state to form coherent sentences.
"Hermione - She's awake. She wanted to see you " , came a voice from the door.
It was Ron , Harry felt happier than ever , but just for a fraction of a second - as everything else that happened in the night took a weight upon Harry and , he turned towards Luna , his stare - asking, If she would be okay.
She nodded and Harry have her a weak smile and left with Ron.
"So ...You and Luna...",Ron started suggestively , on their way to the infirmary.
Harry dismissed him without a single thought,"No - I was just helping a friend, with times like this - there's no time for romance...atleast for me."
He said the last bit in a whisper and the words of the prophecy loomed over his mind -
"Neither Can live when the Other Survives..."
No...He wouldn't endanger his friends through his stupid adventures anymore.
Harry visited Hermione alongside Ron.
Neville's nose was back to it's original size , and Ginny commented on How Madame Pomfrey had made quick work of her broken ankle.
The worst case was ofcourse Hermione.
When she read the Sunday Prophet and occasionally suprressd her pain in her chest and winced - Harry noticed that ...
How occasionally she rubbed her ribs and commented on how She was getting bored of the Hospital Wing already just to distract her mind - that didn't go unnoticed by him either.
Hermione didn't seem to talk with Harry either save occasionally mentioning his name in the articles , engaging more with Ginny and Luna instead.
'She must hate me for what happened !' , Harry thought,
'She got cursed and Sirius died ... Will she ever talk to me the same way she did before ? '
Harry could only wonder in fear .. He didn't know if he could live without either of his best friends ...especially Hermione !
Ron was too caught up , talking Quidditch with Neville and devouring his Chocolate Frogs to notice a thing.
Harry sighed - 'Does Ron even understand the seriousness of this situation ?
There's a bloody full-on war incoming and this was just it's premise, and all he cares about are the Blasted Chudley Cannons !
Ron - he-he really needs to grow up...'
When , one by one everyone but Harry left , Hermione glanced at him and asked gently , "What is it Harry ?"
Harry tried to look at her in the eyes but his eyes kept at level with the floor instead , his hands fidgeting with an air of guilt surrounding him. Hermione gave him a questioning look and Harry started "I - I am so sorry Hermione for everything - everything that happened !"
Hermione was about to say something but Harry rumbled on , "And before you say anything, just know it was because of my Ill judged actions that all of us ended up there in the first place. You warned me about the stupid vision - possibly being a trap but I was too engrossed in my 'hunch' to pay heed to you. Look at what happened- you are in the hospital wing and S-Sirius he died ! He died - all because of me ..." Harry took a shaky breather and went on -
"I don't know if I can ever truly forgive myself. I should have been the one to die today but - No... Fate has different plans for me apparently...Atleast Dumbledore thinks so - He- Voldemort he is not gonna go away unless I -" , Harry stopped mid sentence, realising he almost gave away the contents of the prophecy.
"It doesn't matter anyway - I would understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore after today ..."
Hermione opened her mouth and closed it - overcome with so many different emotions.
Then she did something completely unexpected - She got up and hugged Harry ...
The hug was not like any other that Mrs. Weasley gave him or when he and Ron hugged ...
This one was magical ...full of emotion.
Harry relaxed into her embrace and for the first time in what felt like very long , he felt safe - he felt at home.
Hermione was with him - without any permanent harm to her name and Harry was so - so grateful for that.
She breathed into the scent of her hair , and the fragrance of her vanilla shampoo was well over those of dust and blood and darkness that she had to endure.
Both of them sat together, locked in embrace , and neither spoke any words.
It wasn't necessary - both of them understood where their relationship stood with the former and Harry couldn't be more happy.
It finally started to feel like the ground below him was no longer split open and he wasn't falling through an endless void anymore ...
He was at home , with his friends and ...and - Hermione ...
Finally what felt like after hours of solitude , Hermione spoke , "Harry- I never want you to feel that we would ever give up on you ! Me and Ron and Ginny- Neville and Professor Dumbledore- we all are still here... You are never alone."
Hermione noticed Harry frowning on her mention of the headmaster but didn't comment on it. That could be asked later...
Harry took a deep breath , his grief drowning him and a massive weight suffocating him on his chest -
"But ... WHY ? I only hurt people - I only ever caused harm to everyone around me and now you too... I don't deserve you , really ... I deserve to die in the hands of Voldemort- alone !"
Harry was about to break free of her embrace but Hermione didn't let him break free - "You are not going anywhere- untill you understand that you are the most deserving of all love in this world - Harry -you have lost so many of your close ones yet you always stand strong! Always so brave - so loving - how you manage to be all that - that's a mystery not just to me but all of us !"
Seeing Harry shrugging her off , she continued in a higher pitch -
"Everyone here loves you Harry ! I don't blame you for what you did - Heck, If I were in your shoes I would have done the same but probably in a worse manner ! Do I still think you should have listened to me ? Should have informed Others before running in headfirst into the Ministry ? Absolutely- But I don't blame you."
Harry was shaking softly by now, And Hermione was caressing his back -all this movement taking a toll on her chest as it started pulsing angrily, but - Harry was more important...
"Let it out Harry ...no one's here except for me - I wouldn't think any less of you -" and that was all it took.
Harry broke down into uncontrollable sobs - all his pent up grief and stress and fear , all flowing out in rapid sobs. Hermione held him closer and closer , ignoring the angry stinging of her chest.
She shared his grief and listened to his complaints about his life.
He caught on a few words here and there like "My childhood - spent in bars - cat flap - the letter - Cupboard" and the image that formed in her mind from these incoherent sentences were not pleasant at all.
Who knows what kind of childhood Harry had , before Hogwarts.
He always said that the Dursleys would prefer him dead and hated him.
She had always thought he was exaggerating.
Why had she never asked further about Harry's relatives ?
Right - because Ron always shifted the mood of the conversation before she could pry for details.
He was really good at brightening up the mood , and Harry appreciated that , didn't he.
But in the end , one must face their fears and trauma to successfully overcome it.
Because of Ron , All Harry managed to do was keep all his painful secrets hidden and focus on the brighter side.
But obviously in a dull moment like this , all of those memories and trauma would come back , and it would hit him altogether - harder than ever , because he never came to terms with them in his mind.
After almost half an hour of cooing and caressing , by when her back was aching and her jumper and bedsheet was covered with the product of Harry's grief - Harry managed to take a hold of his tears.
He finally let go of Hermione, but immediately collapsed on her bed from all the strain.
Hermione also laid down beside him and he said "Thank you Hermione , I really-really needed that ..." And Hermione turned to face him and squeezed his hands gently "Anytime Harry", she replied in a hushed voice.
Her throat was dry and she was fighting back the tears that welled up on the corners of her eyes.
'How can life treat someone so unfairly' ? She thought , 'As compared to Harry , I have to call myself privileged ! Yes - my parents didn't have much time for me , but they were there. I had more books than I could ever read and I didn't have to demand of anything twice . Whatever I asked for would appear in front of me ,no matter the price. I was never hit in the head or shoved by my cousin inside a cupboard- or had to do any chores at all !'
By now , Harry took her hushed voice and red eyes as a sign that she was tired.
'Ofcourse - She has to be tired after all that and Here I was taking out my sob-stories on her..' Harry thought and when he looked besides him - he got to look into the eyes of her best friend and the most wonderful person she had ever met - despite the red puffed up state of them , they were still so - so familiar.
Anything, that Harry could call his own - Anyone he could call 'Family' - that's what he wanted the most.
A FAMILY ...
Even the feeling of this word , gave him a sense of warmth.
He took a twirl of her brown hair and entwined it in his fingers and played with it - rolling it up and unrolling it again.
She , for just a moment , gave him a foreign glance but then her normal friendly complexion returned.
Up this close to her , he began noticing so many small details that he had missed before.
Did her lips always curl up like that ?
In all the years , Hermione and him were friends, and he studied with her ; he never studied ...well... her .
She had closed her eyes by now , but Harry kept looking at her - he couldn't put his eyes anywhere, as if entranced by the simple beauty of her face.
Her magnificent eyes- those Chocolate orbs always giving him the gentle-assuring look and after a while of gazing into each other's souls in comfortable silence , both of them dozed off into the world of calm and Harry did not get any nightmares this time around- All Was Well !
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I know in a widely written ship like this - it is hard to stand out , but hopefully you'll enjoy this one.
It is gonna take long to get chapters out , but I have almost all of the plot jotted down so rest assured , I WILL finish this.
I originally wrote this story when I was nine...
I was revisiting my old works , when I came across this.
Now that I am Fourteen and my writing abilities have improved quite a bit , I rewrote the chapter and have started posting them here.
Please leave a comment, I would really REALLY appreciate it and I would take your remarks on improving this story wherever possible, given this was my first EVER work of fan-fiction.
I HATE SAYING THIS LINE , EVERYTIME I WRITE SOMETHING : I know this will probably not get many views, You can easily copy and paste my work and post it somewhere else as yours and I can't do much to stop you. But , please don't do that .I spent hours and hours on end writing in my little 15 minute study breaks each day, perfecting each chapter.
I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DON'T COPY MY WORK ...
That said , Let me know please , how you are liking this , I would really appreciate it if you review ; To praise or to share constructive criticism - that's up to you... Thanks :)
AND AS USUAL, I AM NOT JKR , NOR AM I RELATED TO HER IN ANY WAY... I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT And a fair few original characters (foreshadowing) ...
Have A good day ...or night ... : )