Disclaimer: I don't own the TV show Passions or its characters, plot, or setting. This story is a creative work based on the established Passions universe (with some of my own original additions you'll meet here) and is intended for entertainment purposes only. It is not meant to infringe on any copyrights.
As always, a big thank you to Ashley (divinelyfine) for beta reading! I appreciate your help making this story come alive.
February 2002
One afternoon about a week into her eighth month of pregnancy, Ivy went to her closet to put a bracelet back in her jewelry case. Her mind went to another piece of jewelry, and, before she knew it, she was spinning the combination to her safe. When the door swung open, she reached for her locket and held it in her palm. The doorbell rang as she was thinking about opening it. Sam was probably there; he said he'd come over to help her put the finishing touches on the baby's room. Sure enough, one of the maids came over the intercom to tell her Mr. Bennett was there.
She shut the safe, lay down the locket, and went to greet him. As she rode the elevator downstairs, she wondered again if she and Sam should talk about the status of things between them. They hadn't spoken about their evening on her couch since it happened. Ivy had wanted to bring it up several times, but she always stopped herself, not wanting to push him.
Sam put together a bassinet and swing while Ivy sat down and organized clothes and toys in the closet and dresser. When they were almost done, she realized she'd been feeling some slight pain and pressure in her lower abdomen. Figuring that meant she needed a break and snack, she suggested they go to the kitchen and share some snickerdoodle cookies. "I've been having cravings for them, and my cook's recipe is fantastic," Ivy explained. She wouldn't bother him with stories of her more strange food cravings. Normally, she didn't like peanut butter or pickles, but she'd been eating them together regularly for months. She couldn't wait to give up that habit when the baby was born.
In the kitchen a few minutes later, Sam sat a glass of milk by Ivy and swiped a cookie from the container. "They're great," he said after he ate a few bites. "I can see why you like them." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and sat down across from her at the table. "I've been meaning to talk to you about the list of baby names." When he handed it to her, she noticed he'd made marks next to the names she'd suggested that he liked too, and he'd written down some of his own suggestions. One of the names she'd written was circled. "That's my favorite of all of them," he said, pointing to it. Angela Hope.
The bittersweet feeling she got sometimes when they were together returned. That name was literally and figuratively at the top of her list. "Mine too. I've liked it for a long time," she said. She didn't tell him that she used to imagine marrying him, having a family, and giving that name to their daughter. Except—
"But we'll call her Hope," they said at the same time.
Ivy beamed. "It's perfect. Looks like we've found her name." She'd wondered if she should suggest calling the baby Hope, thinking it sounded like a name that belonged to a woman in the Standish family. Sam's quick acceptance of the name made her feel confident it was the right decision. Besides, I wanted that name for my daughter with Sam long before I found out the women in Grace's family are named after virtues.
He scooted his chair near her when they were done eating and took her hand. Her eyes went from their hands to his face. "What is it?"
"There's something else we should talk about. You were right months ago—I wasn't being honest with myself or you about my feelings. My feelings for you aren't just in the past. Every time you came around and said you wanted me, I wanted you too. I held back out of my love for Grace and because I think I was afraid you'd hurt me again. I wasn't being fair to anyone in the situation. Can you forgive me? Can we see where this takes us and raise our daughter together?"
Ivy stared at Sam with wide eyes, her heart suddenly full of joy. Then she scooted her chair right next to his and threw her arms around him. "Yes. Yes to both your questions. I can't think of anything I'd like more." Sam returned her hug and they kissed. Her mind raced with thoughts about what this meant. There was so much she wanted to ask him and tell him. Suddenly, the strongest pain of the day traveled through her body and there was moisture between her legs. She pulled away from him. She hadn't thought the pain was strong enough to mean anything, but she'd been wrong. "Sam, the baby's coming," she said.
The confusion left his face at her words and his first responder training kicked in. He glanced briefly at her wet pants. "I'll get dry clothes for you. And you'll need a bag for the hospital."
Ivy had always been calm under pressure too. She let out a slow breath as the pain from the contraction faded. "Check the dresser by the window for my clothes. There's a bag in the closet, on the left side. I already have some things in there. Could you get the toiletries and toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom too?"
"Yes," he said and took off. Ivy found some kitchen towels and did her best to dry herself and clean the chair she'd been sitting in.
Monique, the maid, came in the kitchen then. "Ma'am, would you like me to mop the—" She stopped talking when she saw Ivy's expression. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, but I'm in labor. Mr. Bennett is going to take me to the hospital."
"Can I do anything to help you?"
Ivy asked Monique to walk with her to the foyer. There, she sat down on a bench to wait for Sam. Monique found Ivy's purse and brought it to her, and she agreed to lock up the house when she was done with work for the day. Sam returned with Ivy's things then. In the downstairs bathroom, she found he'd done a good job of picking out an outfit and undergarments for her. Staring down at her bare belly as she changed clothes made the magnitude of the situation sink in. Could she really do this again? The doctors had run as many tests as they safely could on the baby to check for genetic problems, and they all came back normal, but Ivy still worried. Or what if something bad happened to her or the baby during the delivery?
Sam knocked on the bathroom door. "I brought the car around," he said. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." She adjusted her sweater and opened the door.
He must have seen through her brave face when she came out of the bathroom because he hugged her. "You've got this. I'm here for you."
She didn't have a chance to answer before he swept her up in his arms and carried her out to the car, ignoring her protests that she could walk on her own and he'd hurt his back. A perk of being in . . . some sort of relationship with a Boston Police captain was getting a ride to the hospital with lights and sirens without having to wait for an ambulance.
Ivy started when Sam reached for her hand and held it, his other hand still on the wheel. "You can squeeze my hand as much as you need. Remember to breathe," he said. Her contractions were coming faster now. She nodded and gritted her teeth as she rode out her current one.
Ivy called Julia on their way to Brigham and Women's Hospital to tell her what was happening. The doctor met Ivy and Sam in an examination room after they arrived and filled out Ivy's admission paperwork. After a quick exam, Julia said Ivy had been in labor for hours without realizing it. "Ivy, unfortunately the baby is in breech position. A natural birth isn't a good idea, especially considering your age. A c-section is the best option for your health and hers."
"Then that's what I'll do."
Some other members of the medical team got Ivy prepped for surgery. She had an epidural so she'd be able to be awake for the procedure. Looking at Sam instead of the needle when she got the injection helped with the pain. He looked calmly back at her, probably not crazy about seeing the needle himself. When they were wheeling her to the operating room a short time later, she realized something—or, more accurately, someone—was missing. A group of nurses were blocking Sam from following, gesturing for him to take a seat in the waiting room.
She shifted on the gurney so she could see him over her shoulder and screamed for him. No. I need him with me. Julian hadn't been there for Ethan's birth because he'd been out of the country at the time. That had been for the best because she'd screamed for Sam then too. While Julian had been at the hospital for Cassandra and Kat's births, he'd stayed as far away as possible from the actual deliveries and had been of no support to her. The best he'd done was poke his head in her hospital room hours after everything was over, clutching a celebratory flask in his hand.
She couldn't hear what the nurses were saying to Sam. He wasn't quite yelling in reply, but he was loud enough for her to hear him say he wasn't going to let anyone take her away from him again.
She turned to Julia, starting to cry. "Please, can he come with us? I don't want to be alone."
Julia looked at a resident who was walking along with them. "Tell them it's all right. Get him in scrubs and a mask and he can sit with her."
"Thank you," Ivy said.
Julia caught Ivy's eye and placed a hand on her shoulder after the resident walked away. "You've been through a lot over the past year, but things seem to be looking up for you. I've got your back today."
So she did know who Ivy was. "Thank you," Ivy said again.
Sam rushed into the operating room a few minutes after Ivy got there. He pulled up a chair close to her and took her hand.
She grasped his hand tightly. "I'm so glad you're here."
He kissed the top of her hand. "It's the only place I want to be, sweetheart."
He talked to her to distract her from what was happening on the other side of the drape. She kept holding onto his hand and did her best to focus on him. Their eyes flew to the other side of the room when the doctors eventually walked away from the lower half of Ivy's bed, Julia holding a small bundle in a blanket. The room was silent except for a hushed conversation between the doctors. "What's wrong? What happened to her?" Ivy demanded, on the verge of tears again. She struggled to sit up. Her doctors told her to lie still, but she ignored them. Even sitting up halfway, Ivy couldn't see the baby because another group of doctors blocked her from view as they examined her.
Sam picked up on Ivy's panic. "Why isn't the baby crying?" he asked.
The sound of cries filled the room then. Ivy slumped back against the bed, consoled by the sound.
Julia walked over to them with the bundle. "Relax, guys. Everything's okay. Meet your daughter." She placed the wriggling baby in Ivy's arms and stepped away.
Sam stood and put one hand on Ivy's shoulder and his other hand gently on their daughter's much smaller shoulder. "Hi, Hope," he said. The baby's cries died down soon after she was introduced to her parents.
Angela Hope Bennett weighed five pounds, eight ounces and was nineteen inches long, but the feeling of love that washed over Ivy the first time she looked at Hope's little face was immeasurable. She glanced up at Sam and saw that he was equally as taken with their daughter.
"She's so perfect," Ivy whispered. The tears she'd felt coming on for some time trickled down her cheeks.
"And so tiny," Sam said.
"She is. Ethan was almost twice her size." She was glad no one thought to question why Ethan was such a large baby if he was supposedly born a month premature.
"That must have been a difficult birth."
Ivy shrugged. "It was, but I don't remember a lot about it. Holding him in my arms after everything was over made it all worth it, just like it was worth it for her," she said, running a fingertip across Hope's soft cheek.
The medical staff finished up Ivy's surgery. She held Hope close and admired her small fingers and toes and gorgeous blue eyes that were already open, then Sam held her. Ivy drank in the sight of him holding their daughter like someone taking in an oasis in the middle of a desert.
When her surgery was done, she was transferred from the operating room to a hospital room in the maternity ward. Sam met her in her new room and snuggled Hope back in her arms so she could feed the baby. Soon Hope was full and sleepy. "Thank you, for everything," Ivy said when Sam sat down on the edge of her bed and stroked her hair.
He kissed her forehead. "You're welcome."
She looked from him to Hope. "You know, I've dreamed of this for so long—having a family with you. I'd almost given up on it."
Sam put an arm around her shoulders. "I've dreamed of it too," he admitted. "Back when we were younger, and more recently. I'm glad we didn't give up on it."
Ivy's memory of the events after that got foggy as her pain medication kicked in. She did remember Julia coming in the room with a nurse. Julia checked Ivy's vitals and told her she was doing well. Then she said Hope would be examined more thoroughly and have some tests run on her, but she looked quite healthy. The nurse started to take Hope from where she was lying next to Ivy, and Sam caught Ivy's hand in his when she reached for the baby. "They're taking her to the nursery. Don't worry—I'll be there for her," he said. Ivy wanted to resist and keep Hope with her for a little while longer, but she'd been too tired to argue.
When the doctors gave Hope a full checkup, they realized her lungs were slightly underdeveloped, so they recommended she go to the NICU, stay in an incubator, and get oxygen until she got stronger. Fortunately, that was the only health issue she faced. Ivy slept a lot over the next few days as she underwent her own recovery. Sam was around as much as possible, except for one day when he had to go to work. He'd planned to take some time off after Hope's birth, but with it coming sooner than expected, he had to do some scrambling to find colleagues to cover for him and get the schedule redone.
Maybe it was the medication that caused Ivy to have a vivid dream about the past the day Sam wasn't with her. She found herself back on the beach in Harmony many summers before. She'd been horseback riding and decided to go for a swim in the ocean to cool off. When her muscles began to cramp up and she struggled to stay above the water, Ivy realized she'd been stupid to go swimming after she was already tired from being on the trails with her horse. She tried to head back to shore, but her exhausted body couldn't fight the strong current, and she found herself being pulled farther out to sea. Fear set in as she battled to stay afloat. Soon the ocean was dragging her under.
The next thing she remembered was lying on the sand, snapping back to consciousness with a lifeguard's mouth on hers and the sun in her eyes. He pulled away when she gasped and let out a series of coughs.
"It's okay," he said, his deep voice soothing. She felt one of his arms around her, coaxing her to sit up. She turned away from him as she continued to cough, now choking up an embarrassing amount of seawater with each one. "Can you breathe, miss?" the lifeguard asked.
Ivy nodded. She faced him when her coughs finally subsided and held a hand above her eyes to shade them from the sun. When she took in his face, she felt an unfamiliar flutter in her chest. The lifeguard was handsome, with chiseled features, piercing blue eyes, and close-cut brown hair. Those blue eyes were looking at her with such concern. She hugged him without thinking about it. "Thank you. You saved my life."
He returned her hug and flashed a dazzling smile when they separated. "All in a day's work," he said, but something about the way he looked at her made her wonder if there was more to it. "I'm glad I could help you . . ."
"Ivy," she finished for him. "My name's Ivy. What's yours?"
"I'm Sam. It's nice to meet you, Ivy."
"Likewise."
"Where are your things? Can I help you get somewhere where you can sit down?"
"That would be good." She pointed to a nearby beach chair with a towel and straw bag sitting on it. "My stuff's over there."
He held her arm in his and walked her slowly to her chair, then he brought her a blanket and a thermos of water. "Rest up for awhile, okay? Let me know if you need anything."
"I will. Thank you again, Sam."
"You're welcome." He started to head back to his lifeguard's chair but turned around again to face her. "Do you come here often?"
"Yes. I love the beach and swimming. I'm usually a better swimmer, but I was already tired from horseback riding when I came here. My muscles cramped up."
He seemed confident on the outside when he spoke, but Ivy thought she saw a hint of nervousness in his blue eyes. "I'm off duty tomorrow. Maybe you'd like some company on your swim, just to make sure you don't have any jitters after what happened today?"
She felt that flutter in her chest again. "I'd like that a lot," she said and smiled up at him. "I'll be here around one."
He returned her smile. "Great. I'll see you then."
Sam went back to work and Ivy curled up in her chair. She kept sneaking glances over at him when she thought he wasn't looking her way.
They met at the beach the next day and spent the afternoon talking, laughing, and swimming. Wanting to be careful about her time in the water, they didn't go out very far, and she held his hand most of the time they were in the ocean. Ivy felt comfortable around Sam. They had such an easy time talking about whatever came to mind. She wondered why it had never been this way with any of the men she'd dated. Time spent with him passed quickly.
She noticed the sun starting to dip low on the horizon and pulled her watch from her bag. "I didn't realize it was getting so late. I should go. My parents are expecting me home for dinner," she said regretfully. They were sitting on a lounge chair underneath a large beach umbrella.
"Okay," Sam said. His hand had been resting on the chair near hers and he took it in his. Like the day before, she thought she detected some nervousness underneath his calm demeanor. "Can I see you again?" he asked.
"Yes," she said quickly. They decided to meet on the beach again the following evening. He was working tomorrow, but he'd be off duty by dinnertime. She said she would bring some food for them to share.
He leaned closer to her and when she didn't pull away, he softly brushed his lips against hers. Ivy placed a hand on the back of his head and deepened the kiss. It certainly hadn't felt this way when she'd kissed other guys. They smiled shyly at each other when their kiss ended. Then Sam leaned back in and placed a kiss on her cheek this time. "Goodnight," he said, his voice near her ear.
"Goodnight," she whispered.
The next evening, they met and shared a picnic dinner on the beach. Ivy brought a basket with different kinds of sandwiches, pasta salad, water, sparkling grape juice (since Ivy wouldn't turn eighteen for a few more weeks), and chocolate covered strawberries. Sam complimented her on the food.
"Oh, thanks, but I can't take credit for it. I didn't make it." She started to tell him a maid put it together but caught herself. It would sound pretentious, and they'd just met, so she didn't want to drop hints about her wealth so soon. "A friend did most of the work for me," she said instead. "She likes doing that sort of thing and she was excited for me when I told her I had a date." Pilar was her friend in addition to being the Winthrop family's maid, so it wasn't a lie. After they ate, she snuggled in his arms on the beach blanket, and they watched the sunset. They shared more kisses. Everything was perfect.
"I really like you Ivy," he said before they left.
"I like you too," she said. "I'm glad we met."
Sam asked Ivy if he could take her on a real date somewhere away from the beach. She was scared of getting caught, but there was no way she was going to let him go when they were just getting to know each other, so she thought fast. "Maybe a movie?" She suggested a theater in Castleton. It would be dark in the theater, they could blend in with the crowd, and there'd be less of a chance of her being recognized outside of Harmony.
They enjoyed their time together again. The movie was good, but she didn't remember a lot about it; she paid more attention to the way their hands brushed sometimes when they reached for popcorn at the same time, or the thrill she got when he leaned over for a kiss, or how it felt like she fit there when he put an arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder.
When the movie was over, they sat in his car and talked more. "I thought you said you were from Harmony," Sam said, "but I don't recognize you from Harmony High, and you wanted to come to Castleton for our date."
Ivy explained that she was from Harmony, but she went to private school. Over their next few dates, she gradually told him more about herself. She'd never forget the look on his face when she told him her last name.
"Winthrop? As in the former governor and owner of Winthrop Marine?"
"Yes. He's my father."
"Oh." Sam looked shaken. She thought he was going to tell her he couldn't see someone from her social class or get mad that she hadn't mentioned this before. But he just took her hand and looked in her eyes imploringly. "What's someone like you doing with someone like me?"
Ivy's eyebrows furrowed. She understood what he meant, but she didn't agree with the premise of the question. "Why wouldn't I want to spend time with someone like you? You're smart, handsome, funny, and kind. I haven't met any guys like you in my social circle, that's for sure."
"You know what I was trying to say."
"I do, but I care for you, Sam. You're the one I want to spend time with, whether you have a lot of money or not."
He kissed her, looking relieved. "I feel the same way about you."
After seeing each other nearly every day for a month—whether for a quick kiss on the beach when he was on a break from work, or for one of their dates that lasted for hours because they didn't want to stop talking—they met on their beach one evening and said they loved each other for the first time. That night on the beach, also for the first time, they demonstrated that love physically. Their love had been enough to carry them through for almost two years. Then everything went wrong.
"Ivy?" A female voice pulled her back to consciousness. "Is something wrong?" She opened her eyes. Kay was standing near her hospital bed.
"What happened?" Ivy muttered, still groggy from sleep and medication.
"You were tossing and turning and saying my dad's name in your sleep."
"Oh." Her mind started to clear. She remembered the events of the past days, as if the burning pain in her lower abdomen wasn't reminder enough. "I was dreaming of a long time ago, when your dad and I were dating."
"He should be here in a few hours. He's back home from work and sleeping now. He wanted me to check on you and the baby. Can I do anything for you?"
Ivy asked Kay to bring her bag to the bathroom so she could take a shower. The doctors said moving around and walking short distances would help her recovery along. Kay turned on the water and made sure Ivy's things were sitting near the outside of the shower, then she left the bathroom. It was slow going, but Ivy managed to bathe herself. After she was done with her shower, she dried herself off, put on deodorant and lotion, and searched through her bag for her clothes. Her hand closed around a delicate object folded inside her shirt. My locket. He must have seen it in my closet when he went to get my bag. She smiled and held it against her chest. Now she knew why she'd been inspired to take it out of the safe on the day Hope was born. She got dressed and lovingly hooked it around her neck. After that, she smoothed on some face cream and put her hair back in a low ponytail.
Kay was holding Hope when Ivy came out of the bathroom. "Look who the nurse brought over."
Ivy started to reach for her daughter but decided to let her stay with Kay. The teen was a bit awkward because she didn't have much experience with babies, but Kay picked up on some of it intuitively the longer she held Hope, and Ivy offered a few suggestions for how Kay could sit that made things more comfortable for the half-sisters. Ivy got in bed and sat back against the pillows. Seeing Kay with the baby made her think of their conversation a month ago. "Have you thought about what I said last time we talked?"
Kay was looking down at Hope, so Ivy couldn't see the expression on her face. "I haven't done anything yet if that's what you mean." She met Ivy's eyes and glanced away again after receiving a sharp look. "But I changed my mind about wanting to get pregnant. You're right—I'm not ready for that responsibility." She was playing with Hope's little fingers without realizing it. "I'd like to spend more time with this one, though."
"Of course you can," Ivy said. "You're her sister."
Kay seemed touched by this. "Thanks." She paused. "You're talking as if we're a family. Are you and my dad together again?"
"We've gotten closer over the last few months," Ivy admitted. "He told me he still has feelings for me and he wants us to raise Hope together. We didn't have time to work out the details because we were talking when she decided it was time to make her appearance."
Ivy could see Kay was conflicted. "I'm glad," Kay said eventually. "My mom and I haven't been close for a long time. Maybe we can be close."
Ivy smiled. "I'd like that."
Kay told Ivy more about her history with Miguel as a way to get to know her more. Ivy had thought the relationship was mostly one-sided, but after hearing how Miguel had kissed Kay and told her he loved her too, Ivy frowned. "He probably has feelings for both of you and doesn't know what he wants." Ivy remembered Astrid's advice from months before and encouraged Kay to focus on other goals and dreams for her future until Miguel made up his mind. She didn't say it, but she couldn't understand why Miguel was interested in a strange girl like Charity when he and Kay seemed like a better match and there was obviously some attraction there. "In the meantime, it never hurts to remind him of what he could have. I remember your dad said you and Miguel played baseball together when you were younger. I've got Red Sox season tickets. Maybe he'd like to go to a game with you when the season starts?"
When she saw the smile curl over Kay's lips, Ivy knew for sure she was in the presence of a fellow schemer. "Yes. Thank you."
Kay handed Hope over to Ivy when her arms got tired. "So, you were dreaming about my dad. How did you meet him anyway? He never wanted to talk about it, even after everyone found out you used to be together."
Ivy cradled Hope and looked off in the distance. "We met the summer between my junior and senior year in high school. Your dad had already graduated. He was working as a lifeguard at the beach until he started college in the fall. I'd been horseback riding, and I thought it would be nice to go for a swim to cool off, but my muscles started cramping up when I'd been in the ocean for awhile. Your dad saved me from drowning. The connection between us was there from the start, and we fell in love soon after that."
"You said before that you guys were together for about two years, right?"
"Yes."
"What happened to break you up?"
Ivy felt her arms tense around Hope and did her best to relax again. It still made her angry to think about it after all these years. "My father found out I was seeing your dad. He tried to break us up because he didn't think I should be with a boy from town who didn't have much money. When nothing else worked, he arranged for your dad to get a job on one of the fishing boats he owned. The boat wasn't supposed to be gone for long, but the fishing was good up the coast, so it stayed away for months. Whenever your dad and I tried to call or write each other, my father made sure we never got through. Shortly after your dad left, my father arranged for me to meet Julian Crane.
"Julian pretended he fell in love with me, but it was just an act. Our fathers wanted to merge his family's business connections and my family's political connections. My father left a captain's report laying around the house on purpose. It had lies about your dad in it, saying he'd been drinking heavily, slacking off at work, and sleeping around whenever they reached a new port. I was devastated when I read it. Before he left, we'd talked about him taking the job. We agreed it would be an opportunity for him to save some money for a nest egg for us, and we also thought it would help him make a good impression and show my father he was a responsible, hard-working person when we were ready to tell everyone about our relationship. I couldn't understand how he could behave that way. That, combined with him not responding to my letters or calls, made me think he didn't love me anymore. Everyone I knew encouraged my relationship with Julian, so I said I'd marry him when he proposed at the end of the summer. On our wedding night, I overheard Julian and his father bragging about what a coup they'd made with the marriage. I ran to your dad, and we figured out what my father did." She smiled to herself. "That was the night Ethan was conceived."
"Why didn't you stay with my dad?"
"I made a mistake. I went to the Crane mansion the next morning to tell Julian I wanted an annulment, but my father and Alistair insisted on speaking with me first. My father told me more lies about how his business was struggling and the only thing that could save it was my marriage. He also hinted he would make something horrible happen to your dad if I went back to him. I did what he wanted because was young and stupid. I never stopped loving your dad, though."
"Looks like you might have another chance at love," Kay said. Ivy hoped she was right. Kay left later, and Ivy fed Hope and bonded with her until the nurse came to take her back to the NICU.