Author's Note: MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU! Happy Star Wars Day, everyone! While last year I did a special interlude chapter that introduced the likes of Thrawn and Mando to this world (oh god, has it been a YEAR? It doesn't feel like a year) this year I went with a regular chapter. That said, there is plenty of Star Wars to enjoy!
TW: Discussion of Suicide
"Ah, Miss Tano!" Nedzu said with a smile as Ahsoka entered into his office. Not his school office, which she had been in many times. And not his private office for that was a place for himself and ONLY himself. No one else. No, this was his hero office, where he did his work as a crime fighter. "Tell me, and please be honest, what did you think when I asked you to intern with me?"
Ahsoka narrowed her eyes at that. "So, going right into it, I guess?" She gave a shrug. "Okay… I was surprised. I honestly forget you are a hero, sir. What with how busy you are."
Nedzu smiled at that, or rather made his face take on the appearance of a human smile. Something that didn't come naturally for him and had required a lot of practice on his part. He smiled because rather than claiming he couldn't be a hero because of his looks… her surprise had come because of what he did. It was nice when people understood just how much work he did as the principal of UA. It wasn't all popping out of places and finding new ways to legally torment his staff, after all.
"Some would argue that the greatest heroes are teachers. They mold the minds of the next generation… care for them, comfort them, stand with them as they rise up." He chuckled before gesturing for her to sit. "Ah, but I am still a hero. I just don't run around in a costume like your parents." And he saw her shift at that and made a mental note to get Hound Dog to talk with her about the shifting the familiar roles in her life. With Padme accepting that she was Ahsoka's mother and Anakin only needing a slight push to get him to verbally admit what everyone already knew Ahsoka would need to… well, he was getting ahead of himself. "Instead I have found other ways to be a hero. Look at this."
He reached over and turned his computer screen so Ahsoka could see the footage that was currently being streamed live to it. He watched, pleased at how quickly she was able to figure out just what she was seeing.
"Live bodycam footage," he said, though he could tell she'd already figured that out. "A sex trafficking ring is being destroyed right now. A former student of UA contacted me… not a hero student, someone in the general education class who ended up working for a law firm… asking for my help on the case. I couldn't help but say yes." He forced himself to remain calm as he said the next words. "I know what it is like to be trapped and have no hope of freedom."
Ahsoka managed a nod at that, watching as the police took down the villains. They all had weak quirks which was why no heroes were needed in order to deal with the gang. Which made things nice and neat, in Nedzu's opinion.
"That is the problem with heroics, I have found… people naturally assume it is rather flashy and dramatic and there for all to see. And why not? The news only shows those fights that are truly daring and spectacular. Children don't spend their time going online and watching videos of heroes doing paperwork." He stared at her, studying her carefully, looking for the micro-expressions that even her Jedi training wouldn't have been able to prevent her from revealing to him. "But people forget all the little things. The dry and tedious acts that must be done in order to keep the world spinning as we know it. Those behind the scenes that keep order." He chuckled. "It is easy to forget but big flashy villains? They aren't the norm, even for the criminal underworld. They are the extreme. The sudden virus that strikes us hard and leaves us sick and must be fought with medicine. But these kinds of criminals?" Nedzu gestured at the screen. "They are far more natural. The norm."
He could see it in her features. Practically read her like a book, despite her being an alien from a galaxy far, far away. Despite her Jedi training she had fallen into the same bad habits as so many of her other classmates: always looking towards the future, dreaming adventure and excitement. A jedi wasn't supposed to want such things, according to Kenobi, but Tano did. And she knew it too.
Good.
It meant she at least had some sense of self-awareness.
"You come from a predator species, Tano," Nedzu said and the young woman snapped her gaze at him. "Oh, it was easy to tell. Your teeth are sharp. Your eyes are on the front of your head rather than the sides. Your body, even without your Jedi training, is built for the hunt. The chase. You have… thousands of years? Tens of thousands of years?... of instinct screaming in your veins to go and find your prey and claim it. That is hard to snuff out simply because the Jedi tell you to release your anger. Because it isn't anger that drives you. Or even a need for cheap thrills. For you such things are as natural as breathing.
"But… a great hunter knows how to take such desires and temper them. To work them into something far more… proper… for this modern world. To take the need to stalk one's prey and turn it into something truly heroic." And then, much to his own surprise as Tano's, he reached out and patted her hand. "Once I had to decide what I wanted to be. Only to realize the answer: I wanted to be a WHO. Not a what. Anyone can be an animal, a monster, a predator, a hero, a savior. But only I… could be Nedzu. Perhaps its time you stop thinking of being a hero or a Jedi… and decide who Tano Ahsoka should be."
And with that Nedzu's tone grew chirper.
"Well, let's get started, shall we? I think going over some case files of some cold cases would be quite fun!"
~MC~MC~MC~
Aoyama collapsed next to Tenya, gasping for air. It made the taller teen honestly rather concerned; this wasn't the normal dramatics he was used to from his classmates after they had to do some exorcises. He was used to Ashido flopping down in a chair and dramatically whining that she was sore all over and she couldn't move… only to suddenly burst into action if Momo brought out some treats to share with the class or if someone reported on some gossip from a website that she had to hear.
But Aoyama wasn't lying there giving overly dramatic little sighs and moans. Instead he was just… laying on the ground, chest rising and falling, skin flush and eyes glassy. Tenya looked up from the engine piece he was cleaning and waved his hand in front of Aoyama's face but there was no reaction.
"Its fine," Izuku said, not opening his eyes. He was sitting crosslegged, body utterly still, looking frankly far better than either Aoyama or Tenya.
It made the taller teen rather jealous.
While he wasn't completely out of it like Aoyama Tenya still felt out of his depths thanks to Skywalker and his training. After they had looked over the engines in his legs Skywalker had brought him over to a dirty, rusty, grim-covered car and informed him that they were going to be spending much of the week working on the engine.
"I don't think you want us just poking about your legs, experimenting to see what works and what doesn't," Skywalker had informed him. "So we are going to work on the car so you understand how it works. How all of it comes together to do what it does. That way you are more comfortable working on your own engines and getting them to peak efficiency."
That would have been well enough… if not for the fact of how dirty the work was.
Tenya's clothes were utterly ruined. Covered in grim and oil and rust stains. The first time he'd gotten some lubricant on his face he'd tried to go clean up but Skywalker had told him to get back to work, as they didn't have time for Tenya to run to the sink to wash up every time he got a bit of gunk on him. And Tenya had soon understood what he meant as it seemed like every ten seconds he was getting another drop of oil or smear of grease on his skin. He could feel it everywhere and it made him feel utterly disgusting.
Still… he did as asked. He understood Skywalker's logic and wouldn't question the older hero.
In contrast Izuku looked utterly calm. Peaceful even.
And utterly clean.
"So Aoyama," Izuku said and Tenya found that there was something… odd… about the way his friend was speaking. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though. "What exactly did Rex have you do?"
"Eeeeeeeeee," Aoyama managed to get out.
"Ah, the Suicides," Izuku commented.
"The what now?" Tenya asked, startled.
"Suicides. Intense training. It differs from person to person, depending on their endurance levels. For me I have to run a mile and then do 100 pushups, 100 squats, and 100 situps, all the while declaring verbally how to take apart, clean, and reassemble my blaster. If I falter I have to start all over again."
"You… you have to do all that?!" Tenya asked, aghast.
"Well, for the first round. That's why they are called Suicides and not Suicide."
"I do not like that term," Tenya grumbled. "It is highly disrespectful to mock such things."
"Yeah, Rex offered to change the name after he found out how many times I'd actually considered committing suicide but-"
"Izuku!" Tenya exclaimed, eyes going wide in shock.
"Uh… can you… uh…" Finally Izuku sounded a bit more like himself and Tenya dimly realized that what had been throwing him off was that his friend wasn't stuttering the entire time. Wasn't getting excited either. His voice had been kept on an even keel, calm and collected.
Or it had been until he'd let slip that little piece of information.
Aoyama suddenly snapped his head toward Izuku only to wince, clearly still in pain. But he still turned towards Izuku and said, "You… tried to kill yourself?"
"What?" Izuku said, suddenly sounding rather panicked and, much to Tenya's relief even if he wasn't in the mood to feel relief at that moment, like himself once more. He waved his hands about desperately, eyes wide and full of desperation. "No! No I would… I would never do that! Never!"
"But you said-" Aoyama got out.
"I only thought about it!" Izuku told them. "I mean… everyone thinks about it, right?"
Tenya didn't say a word. He certainly hadn't ever thought about killing himself.
"…how far did you get?" Aoyama asked, voice sounding oddly stilted.
Izuku looked like he was ready to leap up and flee but the way Aoyama was staring at him had the young green-haired hero pinned to the floor, unable to even think about moving. So instead he opened his mouth, Tenya ready for more stammered denials-
"I… wrote up a will," he said. "Details on what my mom should do with my stuff. I didn't think about my body… I hadn't decided how I would do it. Every option seemed bad." Tenya opened his mouth to say… well, he wasn't sure WHAT… only for Izuku to continue. "I wanted it to be quick, if I were to do it, which I wouldn't, I assure you!" He grimaced at that and Tenya hated that he seemed more concerned with convincing them of that then the mere idea that he'd ever considered ending his own life. "I know how I am and I would just overthink it so it had to be quick. Sleeping pills wouldn't work because I'd be worried about the dosage and probably just end up vomiting them up. And I didn't want to hang myself because what if I did it wrong and I got stuck? Which is silly, I know, but I didn't want to do that. And then I had to think about how I would be found because I wouldn't want anyone to be scared when they saw my body-"
Tenya hated everything. Hated everything so very much. Hated that his friend was more concerned about sparing others than the idea that he had been so miserable that he had been ready to die.
"-but its okay because I don't think about that and Rex demanded I go see a shrink when he found out and-"
A beeping filled the air, startling them all, and Izuku let out a groan as he looked at the watch her was wearing; Tenya dimly realizing that it was the one blasting the alarm. He was about to ask his friend what that was about when the door opened to the training room they were all in and Kenobi stepped in.
"I'm sorry," Izuku said pathetically to Kenobi. "We just-"
"It wasn't his fault," Tenya said, leaping to his feet. "You will not punish him for… whatever he did." He narrowed his eyes, DARING their heroics teacher to say a word.
But Kenobi merely looked them over before nodding. "Very well. Midoriya, why don't we head back to the garden. There are some evening flowers that I need help cultivating." Izuku nodded and quickly followed after Kenobi.
"…you think you know someone…" Aoyama whispered.
Tenya merely swallowed, still staring at the door, his mind a buzz with all he had learned. He knew that Izuku had lived a far different life than he had. Indeed, he knew that most of his class had gone through their younger days in far different ways than he had. Some might think him a bit naïve but he knew he had lived a privileged life, even with the hardships he had gone through when it came to his parents (or lack thereof). But to know that Izuku, who seemed to have been born to be a hero, emerging in the world just waiting for a costume and a hero name, had not only thought about killing himself but actually begun making plans…
"The world… it is cruel," Aoyama continued. "We think it cruel for only ourselves… and then life decides to show us that it can be cruel to all. That our own pain is not unique."
Tenya glanced at the tired teenager that was still lying on the ground and suddenly wanted to at once ask him about what he had done before coming to UA… and dreading what he might say.
He started when a hand fell on his shoulder. Hard. Ungiving.
Turning, he was startled to see Skywalker standing there, a pensive look on his face.
"When I was young… I dreamed of freeing my people," he said. "Of breaking their chains and at long last letting them know what it was like to walk in the sun without fear. I… never got to achieve that, Ida. I allowed others to tell me what kind of… hero… I was to be." He squeezed the young man's shoulder. "I am not like the Council. So… what do you want?"
Tenya thought of Izuku. He thought of Ochaco who seemed to always be hungry but made do with the free meals UA gave all students, never buying anything else. He thought of Aoyama who had hinted of dark memories that were hidden behind his dazzling smile. He thought of Momo who was always afraid to be herself. Of Todoroki who didn't even seem to know who he was. Of Hitoshi who had been told since the moment his quirk appeared he could never be a hero.
He thought of Vader… the vigilante. A man he should hate because he was just as much a law breaker as any villain. Who thought he knew better than society…
…and because he'd done that he'd saved Tensei's life.
"…I want to be the hero that saves those ignored by all others. The hero that sees them."
Skywalker nodded.
"Well then… let's get to work."
~MC~MC~MC~
"…are we going to talk about it?" Izuku asked.
"Do you wish to talk about it?" Obi Wan said, never looking up as he worked on replanting one of the flowers that had begun to become crowded in its original spot. It was clearly delicate work and Izuku was more than willing to allow the hero to focus on that while he handled the easier task of watering.
"I… feel like I have to," Izuku said. "I failed." He gestured at the watch that Obi Wan (and it was so weird to call the man that; he'd insisted on it rather than Kenobi) had given him, which was calibrated to monitor his heart rate and other things to see how his emotional control was going. While Rex had been able to break him out of a lot of his bad habits he still found himself worrying often about things and trying to handle situations and that in turn made him worry about HOW he was handling the handling and-
The alarm went off.
"Do you know why I gave you that, Midoriya?"
"Well… to deal with my emotions," Izuku stated. "I know that you were showing me meditation and Ahsoka has mentioned how heroes from your homeland need great emotional control and Rex has been working with me on my emotional control-"
Obi-Wan held up a hand and Izuku snapped his mouth shut. But the hero was also smiling softly and not in a leering, insulting way, so that had him rather confused. He was used to teachers telling him to be quiet, to stop his rambling, but that wasn't what Obi Wan was doing. He wanted him to pause but it didn't feel… judgmental.
"Rex has worked on your emotional control," Obi Wan said. "Yes… you've mentioned that… several times." He smiled again and his tone somehow managed to be teasing and kind at the same time. It reminded him of Ahoska and Ochaco and how they would banter with him; he honestly hadn't ever had an adult speak to him in that matter. "In fact you brought it up the first time, after meditation, without prompting."
"Well… meditation is about controlling ones emotions, right?"
"Its about seeking peace," Obi Wan corrected. "I have emotions, Izuku. Anakin loves to claim otherwise but I do. I feel frustration. I feel anger. I know sadness and I know joy. Meditation does help me work through those emotions but it also allows me to work through other things. What did I tell you was my biggest concern for you?"
"My… my sense of self-worth," Izuku stated.
"And what does emotional control have to do with that?"
"…oh." Izuku looked down at his hands before returning to watering. "It was a test."
"A cruel one, I admit," Obi Wan stated. "But I needed to see where you were at. You believe yourself to be so flawed in many places, Midoriya… and that caused you to accept that I was testing you on something that didn't need to be worked on."
"But I set off the alarm-"
"While discussing a rather sensitive subject… and we will be coming back to that. But what you felt was natural. Like I said… I feel emotions too. To control your emotions is not to eliminate them. What you are doing is preventing them from controlling you. I wanted to see though if you would speak up in your defense… you did not. And that tells me much of where you are when it comes to your self-worth."
His teacher paused.
"My teacher, Qui Gon Jinn, made me feel many times that I was worthless. I don't think he even realized that he was doing it. And to be fair to him the way I was raised… well, it's a long story that we don't have time for but I will say that someone I put my entire faith in used me as a tool to help Qui Gon. Instead of saying that he was a grown man and I was a little boy and should never have been used in such a way. It wasn't until I began to train Anakin that I began to see the flaws in my own training. Anakin was getting hurt many times because he wanted to prove himself to the world… he felt like all were judging him based on his childhood and how he came to us. I was always getting hurt because I wanted to prove myself to Qui Gon… and I feared that if I didn't take such risks, if I didn't push myself as hard and as far as I could, that I would be cast aside. And… perhaps I would have been."
And there was a story there, Izuku knew it. But he also knew it wasn't his place to ask.
"But it took me a very long time to realize that I shouldn't have ever had to fear that. That I deserved to feel safe. To feel like I was worthy. A failure on my teachers… and in myself."
"Rex-"
Obi Wan cut him off. "I know. I'm not accusing him of anything. But I think, based on the comments you made to Ida and Aoyama, that you have had other people in your life that failed you." Izuku just looked down once more. He didn't know what he would do if he looked at Obi Wan in that moment. "You deserve to be happy, Midoriya," Obi Wan said gently, making the boy swallow. "You deserve to have choices without worrying that people will turn away from you just because you didn't ask them first how you should live your life. You shouldn't have to fear you are a pawn in someone else's game. You are Midoriya Izuku… and the world is better with you in it."
Izuku managed a nod, both of them ignoring as the watch screamed an alarm once more.
~MC~MC~MC~
Tomura frowned as he signed out of the game, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone, before getting up and moving out of his room, heading down to the bar.
"Is something the matter, Master Tomura?" Kurogiri asked from his normal spot at the bar, polishing a glass. "I thought you were going to play that new game of yours."
"Not tonight," Tomura complained. "Just NPCs on there."
"You didn't get in a fight with… SenatorBitch11… did you?" he said the screen name with such distaste that Tomura could practically taste the bile himself. For a villain Kurogiri was very posh and hated swearing.
"Nah," Tomura said with a shake of his head, thinking about his rival. "Even if I did I'd have just kept playing." While he hated SenatorBitch11 she also was a great opponent to test himself against. She kept him sharp, not just in his gaming skills but in how to trash talk. "She doesn't play on Mondays anyway."
"Then what about that gaming group you were considering joining. The Serpents?"
"Sidewinder has a school thing so we have to wait a week," Tomura complained; he liked the Serpents… he'd even changed his screen name from Dustinator to KingKobra to fit their theme. He sat down at the bar and stared at the other man. "You learn anything else about that hero student?"
"Ah, Tano-"
"Miss. Tano," Tomura said sharply. "Remember, Kurogiri, soon she will be Mistress Tano so you should already practice showing her respect."
"You truly believe that she will join us?" Kurogiri asked.
"Why wouldn't she, once she learns what we have to offer? She clearly isn't shoving her head up the Hero Commission's ass. She sees them for the pathetic wastes of space they are. They like to act like they are the true power of the world, the ultimate good, but they are just the NPC faction that has the law on their side but are really trying to take out the hero. Her supporting that quirkless kid showed that." He paused, scratching at his neck. "Hmmm… she friends with him?"
"From what our spy has told us, yes," Kurogiri said and that made Tomura grit his teeth in frustration; while there was a spy at UA Sensei refused to inform him of their name. He had claimed that it was better for him not to know as it wouldn't expose their asset. Tomura… kind of understood that. After all, if he knew that one of those hero brats was really their mole he might make a different dialogue choice and that could lock him out of the golden ending. But it still annoyed him to no end that he didn't know where the info was coming from. It made him feel like he was still a child that needed permission to look up walkthroughs on the Big Bad Internet. "Just friends."
"Good," Tomura stated. That meant he didn't need to deal with the messiness of her having puppy dog eyes for someone else. "We could use that. Quirkless kid like that must have been bullied like shit-" he ignored the other man's wince at his cursing, "-growing up. That's why he's got a chip on his shoulder. But that also means if we give him what he wants… what about other friends?"
Kurogiri bent down and pulled out a folder. It was so horribly old school it made Tomura's teeth hurt. "Uraraka Ochaco. Wants to be a Rescue Hero." Tomura considered that. On one hand Rescue Heroes tended to have weak quirks and rescued people with even weaker ones. On the other hand… well, you didn't hear often about Rescue Heroes being corrupt pieces of shit or stooges for the Hero Commission. In the World of Chaos that he and Sensei wanted to create Rescue Heroes really didn't have a place… but that didn't mean they COULDN'T. After all, one still needed healers in their party. A nice white mage... "Her parents run a construction company but aren't wealthy."
"Barely getting by," Tomura said, a smile slowly stretching across his lips. "We give the Quirkless Kid-"
"Midoriya Izuku."
"Right. We give him a quirk and offer the girl cash. Make them nice and happy. Tano would be able to keep her friends and suddenly I have a true party." He looked around the empty bar; after their failed attack on All Might Tomura had kicked most of the hired goons out and dusted the few that couldn't take the hint. Recruitment needed to get back up and running… true recruitment. "Speaking of… how goes replenishing our ranks?" After all, while he had his eyes on a few to be part of his true party there were plenty of RPGs where you had extra fighters, just in case something happened.
"Poorly," Kurogiri admitted.
"…well? Do better!"
"The Master and I are both working on it." And that gave Tomura pause. If Sensei was having problems… "It seems that two different groups have been making it clear that to side with us is to side against them. One is… well, they do not label themselves as villains but rather as a… society. An order of Quirk users who believe in freedom to use quirks."
"The same as us!"
"Not truly," Kurogiri admitted. "They merely believe all should be able to use their quirks but want to keep the structure of the world as it is."
Tomura frowned. He wanted to destroy everything and see what happened next. Not replace the Hero Commission and the Government with another Commission and Government. "Great… and the other?"
"The Yakuza."
"…the fucking mafia?!" Tomura declared. "Oh fuck off!" he snarled when Kurogiri winced again. "You mean to tell me the fucking mafia is going to be causing us problems?! I thought they were dead! Absorbed into the other villain groups."
"They have not. And the Master is not sure why they have declared a blood feud with us."
"Fuck," Tomura said, scratching at his neck. 'So… its like one of those massive RPG games. I'm the new guy arrived in the world and we got all these other groups running around. This Pro-Quirk group. The Yakuza. Stain and his following.' They were causing them problems; Tomura had even been asked by one of the Stain Followers the other day if he was interesting in JOINING in the 'Movement'. It was only because he didn't want to get banned from his favorite gaming store that he didn't dust the bastard right there. 'And of course Star Might and her actions,' he thought bitterly.
All Might's kid had decided that she needed to 'save the world' and not in a 'stop villains' sense. Oh, she was doing that… but she was also creating outreach groups for trouble youths and offering to sponsor parolees… basically poisoning the watering hole where all the best potential villains could be found. It was annoying.
'But that just means it's a challenge,' he thought to himself, idly tapping his fingers against the counter (very careful not to have all five touch at the same time). 'Alright… so open world RPG. I went out in the field, gathered some weak NPCs to fight for me, and charged in with one really strong Preorder Bonus, and thought I could take down the Main Boss. And I got beat back, blacked out, lost half my pocket change. And now because I did that all these little sidequest groups have no respect for me and think I'm easy pickings.
'What I need to do is prove that I can stand against them before I begin taking them out. They'll earn me XP and loot and maybe even unlock some party members… at least until I get Tano and her friends on my side. Hmmm.' Part of him considered, just for a moment, if it would be possible to turn the entire 1-A Class to his side. That would be fun… but no, that had been his mistake the first time. Start small, level up.
So that meant seeing the groups that were going to be causing them problems not as problems… but side missions. Complete the Yakuza Campaign, get some new gear.
The only question he had though was… how?
'As much as I might want to go marching into their territory and cause problems I need to be smart about this. Actually think of ways to take them out. And also begin building their respect and fear in me.' He thought of how Sensei was able to get people to obey purely through reputation and a few choice words and knew at once that was his only way to win. That he had to never truly display his raw power to make people obey. Tomura HUNGERED for that kind of respect.
What he needed was something that would make his reputation. Something that would show that the League of Villains was not to be messed with…
His mind went to some of his favorite games. There was always moments in the big Role Play Games where the hero proved themselves to be the only one that could defeat some threat that left others shocked and broken.
Tomura's hand twitched.
"Kurogiri… contact sensei… I need some Nomu."