A/N: Aftermath from the 1997 movie "My Best Friend's Wedding".

Tough Class

Jullianne Potter toyed with the pen in her hand for a bit before signing her name on the bottom; there could be so much more to say but it would just be variations of what she had already written. After putting it down, she picked up the handwritten letter and read it to herself as she sat at the small desk in her apartment. There was a small flicker of light from the aromatic candle, but the daylight coming through the curtains made it fairly easy to read.

Dearest Michael:

I understand.

Not everything. And the things I understand, I'm sure that I don't understand them perfectly either. And so help me, there are things I know now that I wish I never did. It has been a difficult lesson in what amounts to a terrible class. Now it feels like I find myself writing the essay for my final exam and I just want to get the semester over with. What did I learn in this 'class' I didn't know I signed up for? What great things do I understand that I didn't understand before, if I'm being honest with myself?

I understand how much I loved you all that time without realizing it, and in what ways. Intellectually I know one of those ways is inappropriate now, as if it ever really was something more than a shared joke between us. Philosophically, I can even say that if it was meant to be it would have been by now. Emotionally, I just want to close my eyes so the world goes away, go to sleep and never wake up again. And yet I also love you as a friend, a friend that is as happy for you as I am miserable for myself. I keep touching myself, holding my side as if some part of me is gone. It is, but it's not that type of loss like having my kidney removed. It's like without knowing it, I was reserving a spot in me for you; now that reality checked in, the walls around the spot collapsed and I'm emotionally sagging in from all sides. There's just as much of me as there was before, but now something is missing. I guess maybe I understand a little what it's like to deliver a baby. No, I'm not calling you a baby.

Damn it, I even understand why I can't bring myself to hate Kimmy! She's great, she's got you, and I don't blame her a bit for wanting to be with you the rest of her life. All this time with me in New York and you in Chicago and I did nothing. NOTHING! I guess I understand the consequences of doing nothing now, too.

I understand why some people turn to booze and drugs now, too. Don't worry, I haven't and won't but right now I sometimes think about how nice it would be just to shut everything off for a bit and escape. I think I might even understand why some people take the permanent way out, too, but I'm not doing that either don't worry. Maybe I'm too chicken to seriously consider it, because it sure isn't optimism that I'll find someone else. I'm going to deal with this with as clear a mind as I can.

I understand now how important friendship is. Even now, when I stumble onto something old from you it brightens my day and sends a jolt through me that – for a moment – brings back the old me again (yes, the old ignorance-is-bliss me). I almost swooned when I got your Thank You card, you'd think it was a stupid Valentine or something. Because as much as I hurt, it would hurt more if you weren't in my life at all.

I understand shame. I don't think I've ever really been sorry for anything in my life, but the way I acted trying to break up you and Kimmy makes me just loathe myself. How I felt then was no excuse for what I did, and sorry just isn't big enough a word to say right now. I know things did work out in the end but if either of you never want to speak to me again, I understand that too. I say either because it's all or nothing – both of you or neither. I don't blame you if you don't.

I understand hurt. Remember when I broke my arm playing soccer with you and your friends in elementary school? I thought that hurt a lot, and I cried while you held my arm steady as we walked to the nurse's room. This hurts a whole lot more, and I guess I'll have to hold myself. I imagine the rest of life should be easier after this, so I'm working to put this high-water mark behind me. Someday.

Lastly, I suppose I understand me a little better now. All my life I've been so busy, so NOISY, so distracted trying to see what was out there that I never just stopped, got away from everything and simply thought about what I really wanted. Now I know more of the WHAT - I just have to move on from the WHO. I've learned so much now it's almost funny except I'm not ready to laugh yet. If I've gotten this much smarter in just a month, imagine how much smarter I'll be a year from now.

I only say these things because I want you to know that I love you and I hope you and Kimmy truly have the best life ever.

Always yours,

Jules

Julianne stared at the letter for some time, then folded it up. She ignored the envelope sitting beside her and with a sigh extended her hand and put the tip of the paper into the flame of the candle sitting on the table until it was fully lit. She let it burn for a moment before quickly setting it on a plate that still held some crumbs from a muffin. The paper continued to burn until it was just a curled, glowing cinder, which then cooled until not a hint of smoke came from it.

She got up and disposed of the ash before washing the dish. The phone rang, and although she was in no mood to talk, she forced herself to answer it. "Hello? Oh, hey, Kimmy. Yeah, I got the card. No, I don't need the song back yet...you want me to what? When? I don't know, I have no idea what work…no, not really…okay, well…but what if...alright, if you're sure...okay, I get it, you both insist. October sixteenth. Yeah right, as if the Sox were going to even be in the playoffs anyway, right? No, I appreciate it. I'd like to see you two again. Really. Okay, love you too. And I mean that with a double 'o' AND a 'wo'. Yeah, thanks. See you then. Bye."

She went to a calendar on the wall and turned the pages to the month of October. On the square for the sixteenth, she wrote "Michael & Kimmy theater". She looked at the note and then added a few hearts in the box as well. She kissed the tip of her finger and gently touched it on the square before flipping the pages back to the current month. Dinner and a show. It sounded nice.

The End

A/N: In my mind there was just no way to give Jules a happy ending immediately after the film. My hopes are that she is able to grow through it, keep Michael and Kimmy as her friends, and eventually find another soulmate for herself.