She's pregnant.

She hadn't planned for this, not now at least. Not with everything already hanging by a thread.

Nate's face softens, and a wide, almost relieved smile spreads across his face as he steps closer to her. "You're pregnant?" His voice is laced with a happiness that seems so out of place in the midst of her storm.

She steps back, her chest tight with frustration, her emotions tangled in knots she can't untangle. She wanted to be happy about this, or at least to be able to breathe. But the truth is, everything feels wrong. She doesn't feel the joy that Nate expects her to.

She can't.

"Yeah," she says, her voice barely above a whisper, bitter and exhausted. "I'm pregnant."

Nate's eyes brighten even more. He steps forward, a wide grin on his face, and for a moment, it feels like he's floating in a bubble of his own happiness, oblivious to the heavy weight on her shoulders.

His hand moves instinctively to her stomach and her hand instinctively follows, the new life growing inside of her feeling like a foreign thing.

His reaction is completely opposite to her's. He is overcome with love at the thought of them having their second baby. All she feels is panic and a deep sense of dread.

"You don't get it," Her voice cracks as she pulls his hands away from her stomach.

She shakes her head, trying to push the lump in her throat down, but the tears are right there, threatening to break free. "We're barely holding on as it is. We can't have another baby."

The weight of her words hangs in the air, and Nate's smile falters for a moment, his eyes clouding over with uncertainty. His face hardens, and a cold wave of anger rolls through him as he processes her reluctance.

The air between them shifts, his body stiffening, the warmth of his previous excitement evaporating instantly.

It's as though Nate finally takes in her cold reaction to the news. He falls off his cloud of happiness and is faced with the harsh reality in Cassie's eyes.

He takes a step back from her as though her cold demeanour burns him.

"What the hell does that mean, Cassie? Are you seriously thinking about having an abortion?" Nate's voice is harsh, laced with disbelief and rising anger.

Cassie would be lying if she said the thought hadn't crossed her mind. She had spent a week evaluating what her life would be like if she ended their relationship, if she found the strength to walk away from the life they were building together.

She had lied awake at night, anxiety corroding her insides, as she weighed the pros and cons in her head. She had replayed incessantly every moment of their relationship, she had re-examined every word they ever shared, she analysed every fight.

And then, once her doctor started asking questions about her last period, she had felt as though the rug was being ripped from under her feet.

She tumbled and tumbled and tumbled.

If she had briefly considered a life without Nate, the arrival of a second baby so soon made that option completely impossible.

She suddenly wants to scream and run away from everything, but her feet feel glued to the floor. Glued to him.

"I didn't ask for this," she had told herself in the car. "I didn't ask to feel so fucking... trapped."

In this moment, the future ahead of her feels impossibly heavy. She can't shake the overwhelming sense of fear and anger that's coiling in her chest.

She wonders how she could possibly navigate this new life. With him, with their fractured relationship, and with a new baby on the way.

Cassie feels like a meteorite crashing at full speed.

But, despite her confused feelings, there was no denying that this little baby growing in her was a part of her, a part of Nate, a part of Harvey.

A part of their family.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to let you do that to our child, you've got another thing coming." His tone is menacing, sharp like a blade.

It slices her skin- but she can hardly feel anything.

There's an edge to his voice, a coldness that chills the air between them. Gone is his happiness of a few moments prior, replaced by the version of her husband that sometimes terrifies her. His eyes, dark with intensity, burn into her with an unspoken demand for her to retract the words hanging in the room.

"Don't," she says, her voice trembling. "Don't do that- I am trying to have a conversation with you, you don't need to threaten me."

"The shit you're saying is insane, Cassie." He snaps back. "The fact you would even think of doing that makes me sick."

He paces as he speaks, his hand is in hair, the veins in his forehead bulging.

"I'm not saying anything, Nate." The tension was unbearable, her emotions spilling over. A scream—raw and filled with rage—escaped her lips. "Look at us! We can't even have a normal conversation!"

"Because this isn't something that requires a fucking conversation!" He snapped back, anger spilling out of him. "This is our baby, our family. What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? Just because you're happy about this, doesn't mean everything's going to work out," she sobs back. "You have no clue how hard this is. You're never here, and when you are, you don't help. Or we just fight. I'm so fucking tired."

"You think my life is some kind of fucking vacation?" He pauses, his face softening for a brief moment. "What do you want from me, Cass? College is kicking my ass, my grandfather's breathing down my neck about work, and working with my dad is a fucking nightmare. I'm sorry if I want to come home to some peace!"

"At least you have a life outside of this house!" She shouts at him. "You talk to people, you do things, you're actually in college. If we have another baby, there's no way I can even think about going to school next year."

"Is that what this is about? Since when do you want to go to college?" he sneers. "And for what? So you can ditch your kids to go to some frat party?"

Cassie's heart sank at his words.

It was true—she had never shared with him any career ambitions or aspirations beyond what she was doing right now. She had always said that her dream in life was simple: to love and be loved, to be a mother, a wife, to spend her days devoted to those she loved.

But now, staring at the wreck of their relationship, it hit her how much she had underestimated the weight of that dream. She hadn't thought about how isolating it would feel to pour everything into others, to lose herself in the role of caretaker. She hadn't realized how much she would come to miss meaningful human connection, the kind of friendships and experiences that her schoolmates were living.

As the thought of another baby became a reality, she realized how much harder it would be to reclaim any part of herself. She had always thought she would be okay with this—always thought that if she just gave herself fully to her family, that would be enough. But now, as the possibility of a different future slipped further and further away, she wondered—had she made the right choice?

She loathed his words, the way he so casually assumed that her desire to go back to school had anything to do with partying. The idea that she couldn't aspire to do something meaningful, that her dreams could only be shallow and selfish— it cut deeper than she could admit.

Realistically, she wasn't even sure if college was what she wanted. He was right; the ambitions she had shared had always been different. It had once brought them together, a shared vision for their future.

But now, with her current life feeling like her only choice, she found herself questioning everything.

She missed just being a teenage girl with teenage hopes and dreams. She was catapulted into a life that was so much serious and that was moving at a pace much faster than she could ever keep up.

She had gone from being someone's daughter, to someone's wife, to someone's mother in a rapid succession.

"How can you say that?" she asked, her voice trembling. "All this time, you and our son have been my priority. I've given up everything you've asked me to—my family, my friends— made you my whole life."

"And I love you for that," he replies. "I fell in love with you because I thought we wanted the same things. I know I've got a lot of things to work on, but this life? You wanted it as much as I did, Cassie. You chose this too. So, now you're saying you don't?"

"I'm not saying I don't want this, or that I don't want the baby," she sighs, her voice shaky. "But I'm so scared, Nate. And I always feel like you're a million miles away from me."

"You're the one pushing me away," he bit back, frustration heavy into his voice. "Kicking me out of my own home."

Cassie clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms as the room seemed to close in around her. She could feel her breath becoming shallow, the anxiety creeping up her chest like a tightening vice. Her head spun, her heart thundering in her ears.

"Don't you get it?" she sobs, her voice cracking. "I'm terrified. I feel like I'm suffocating. Every day, I'm trying to keep it all together." Her voice rose, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "I can't... I can't breathe. It's too much. I—" She stopped, her breathing becoming more erratic, her chest tightening with a panic she couldn't control.

Sometimes she pictured herself as a little porcelain ballerina that sits inside a music box.

She spins and spins, she's charged and spun around endlessly.

Her breath hitched, and the room spun, her entire body trembling with the weight of her emotions. She could feel the edges of the world blurring, as though everything she had known was slipping through her fingers, leaving her standing alone in the wreckage.

He watches her spiral.

When he reaches for her, she pulls back, too overwhelmed to let anyone in. "Cassie," he said, his voice soft again, "Hey, hey, look at me—"

Nate stepped closer, his hands outstretched. "Cassie, baby," he whispered, Cassie barely registering his voice. "I'm here. I'm right here with you. Just breathe"

But Cassie could barely hear him now. The walls had closed in, her own mind a battlefield. The words she needed to say were lost, trapped beneath a heavy fog of panic that she couldn't shake. She collapsed onto the bed, pulling her knees to her chest as the anxiety engulfed her completely.

It had been a long time since her anxiety had hit her this hard. She had struggled with it for as long as she could remember, ever since she was a child, but lately, she'd been managing it better. Despite the tension with Nate and how often he seemed to trigger her anxiety, it hadn't spiraled this out of control since their fight about McKay.

Nate dropped to his knees in front of her, finally pulling her into his embrace. "What has you so scared? Talk to me."

Cassie's sobs grew louder, her chest heaving with each shaky breath as she fought to get air into her lungs. She could barely see through the tears streaming down her face, her mind a blur of fear and uncertainty. The weight of everything pressing down on her was unbearable.

"I—I can't... I can't breathe, Nate..." Her voice was barely a whisper, broken by the sobs that wracked her body.

Nate's hands hovered over her, his face filled with concern. "Cassie, hey," he urged, his voice soft, "talk to me. What's going on?"

She looked at him, but it felt like she was a million miles away from him. The words caught in her throat, and she gasped for air, her chest tight with panic. The room seemed to close in around her, her mind spinning in circles.

In between ragged gasps, she stammers out her fears. Her fear that another baby would be the tipping point for their relationship, that was barely surviving parenthood. Her fear of not being able to do it all, to keep up the perfect facade with another baby in the mix. But, most of all, her fear that Nate would finally leave her. That he would walk away from them for good.

Her hands gripped the edge of the bed, knuckles white with the force she was holding herself together with, but it wasn't enough. "I can't…I can't do this without you."

Cassie's fears and insecurities crashed over her like a tidal wave.

"I'm not good enough, as a mom, as a wife. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm scared you'll see that, and you'll walk away. That you will realise how bad things are."

It was as if all her old wounds were reopening—the scars from when her father had left, the sting of rejection from all the times she had been left behind by those loved. Every time a boy had made her feel inadequate or had manipulated her emotions to use her and then leave her. They had all gotten over her sooner or later. Chased her hard only to dump her.

The fear of abandonment had rooted itself deep inside her, and no matter how much she tried to convince herself that it wasn't true, it still haunted her. It was always there, just beneath the surface.

She had often thought of what would happen if Nate simply got over them playing house. What would happen if he realised the picture perfect fantasy they were living was exactly that- a fantasy. Beneath the surface, behind their smiles, they were rotten fruit decomposing.

Nate's expression shifted as he listened to her words.

He gently cupped her face with both hands, his voice gentle as he reassured her.

He reassures her of her concerns, reassures of his love, reassures of his commitment.

"Another baby could only make me love you more."

Her sobs only deepened, her breath coming faster as she shook her head, just the mention of the baby currently growing in her womb enough to make her spiral again.

"But what if you don't?" she wishes she could choke out. "What if you... never truly love me?"

She allows herself to cry instead, to swallow her fears.

She could barely speak, her breath shallow and ragged, her mind a chaotic fog. Every word felt trapped, caught in her throat as the panic suffocated her. All she could do was cling to the desperate hope that he wouldn't leave, that somehow, they could make it through this—together.

Nate speaks to her softly, his voice hypnotising almost as he tells her sweet nothings. "I hate that you feel this way about us."

"When you walk out... it hurts, Nate. It hurts more than you know." By now, her voice is barely above a whisper. She wonders if he can even hear her speak. "I'm terrified that one day, you won't come back. That I'll be left... alone."

The constant flow of sobs had left her lashes clumped together, and her gaze distant, unfocused. Her body and her mind felt like separate beings.

"I always come back, baby, you know that." His lips pressed gently against her head, a silent promise. "I leave because I'm scared—I'm scared that I can't control my emotions, that I could do something to hurt you badly. But you need to trust that I always come back."

Some would tell her that those words were dangerous, that one day he would go over the edge and harm her. Some would tell her to run without looking back.

But in his words she feels safe, protected, cared for.

Gently, he pulls her into his arms, holding her close as the tension in her body begins to ease. For a while, they lie there in silence, the only sound being the quiet aftermath of her sobbing—her labored breath, the occasional hiccup, and the soft sniffles as she tries to steady herself.

He just holds her, his presence a steady anchor as her emotions begin to settle.

He calms her.

He grounds her.

He moves his hand back to her stomach, now still flat but soon to be swollen once again with their child.

8 weeks.

That's how far along she was- a second baby conceived shortly after the birth of their son.

She wonders how she could have been so stupid, so reckless. How she had not learned her lesson after her third unplanned pregnancy.

She feels fingers trace the curve of her abdomen gently.

She watches him watching her adoringly.

She feels his love.

When the tears finally stop, Cassie's voice cracks as she speaks again, her words tinged with the vulnerability she can never seem to fully hide. "I'm scared of how our parents will react. What they'll say."

Nate looks down at her, his expression firm, his voice unwavering. "Fuck what they think, Cassie. This is our life, not theirs." He squeezes her tighter, as if to remind her that their world, their choices, matter most.

Her mind slows down.

She lets Nate take control.

His lips brush against her ear as he whispers, "If you want to make this work, you'll stop caring about what they think. You'll stop caring about what anyone thinks. It's you and me. Nothing else matters."

It's a dangerous balance, and part of her knows that. But in this moment, Cassie doesn't care.

In his arms, with him, she feels like she's exactly where she's meant to be.

She hopes she is right.

When the gusts came around to blow me down

I held on as tightly as you held onto me

And, I built a home for you, for me