They waited a couple of weeks before telling their family.

Every day felt like a delicate balancing act, like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff, knowing what was coming but unable to stop it. She'd hoped, somehow, things might be different, that maybe the weight of this new pregnancy wouldn't feel so heavy.

Nate maintained his high spirits over her newfound state. He had showered her with love since they had found out about baby number two.

"You make me so happy." He had whispered to her at night, in bed. "You, Harvey, this baby…you are everything to me."

For a short time, they allowed themselves to bask in the bubble of happiness that came with those words. They enjoyed their family moments before Nate had to go back to college and work, leaving them with less and less time together.

It felt good.

His love, admiration, affection…

It allowed her to push away the sense of dread she had felt since finding out about her pregnancy.

Nate knew when her anxiety about telling their families began to surface, he could see it in her eyes. And every time, he reassured her. He reminded her they are all that matters.

The two of them, nobody else.

His conviction is intense.

"They don't understand what we have." he would say, his fingers softly tracing her cheek in the dark. "No one else's opinion matters. I'm here for you, that's all you need. Just us."

His words reassured her.

His words trapped her.

The more he pulled her close, the further she was from everyone else.

"I'll never let you go, no matter what." He sometimes would tell her with a smile, kissing her forehead.

He always said it with such certainty.

She had always craved this kind of love- intense, all-consuming, unrelenting. To be the center of his universe, and vice-versa.

At the same time, it was suffocating, possessive. A love that tied her to him in a way that oscillated between devotion and control.

This love was twisted. An intricate web that tangled her up in ways she hadn't expected.

Was love meant to be this dark?

There was something to be said about the attraction Nate had towards her since finding out about the pregnancy. Much like when she was pregnant with Harvey, he is drawn to her condition in an obsessive way. It elevates her in his eyes, it makes her something otherworldly, a goddess in his gaze.

He didn't just want her- he needed her.

He had often joked about filling her with baby after baby, as though she were the perfect vessel for his legacy, for their future. To him, Cassie carrying his children was the ultimate declaration of her love and devotion. This love didn't just want to claim her, it did claim her. It tethered her to him in the most permanent way possible. Her pregnancy fulfilled something in him- something deep and possessive.

His love wrapped around her, his love embraced her, his love was like chains around her body.

And then there was Harvey.

She loved him beyond measure, but the responsibility of raising him, of protecting him from whatever world they brought him into, felt overwhelming. And now with another baby on the way, the pressure seemed to multiply.

These conflicting emotions haunted her, followed her through the quiet moments.

The day finally came when she had to tell her mother. Suze didn't waste any time with niceties. The disappointment in her voice was immediate, sharp, slicing through the air.

"You're 19. You've just had a baby, and now you're pregnant again? Are you out of your mind?" Suze's voice cracked with emotion.

Cassie stood firm, trying to steady her breath as she met her mother's gaze. It was a careful balance—speaking her truth without exposing herself to the sharpness of her mother's disapproval.

"It wasn't like we planned it, Mom," she said, the words sounding too simple, too small. "It just happened. I don't know what to say."

"You didn't plan it? Of course, you didn't! You've barely figured out how to take care of your son, and now you're going to have another baby? Do you even understand what you're getting yourself into?"

It was the reaction she had anticipated-the disappointment, the judgment, the frustration.

She knew their journey had been difficult, messy, dragging the whole family into the chaos at some point. They had seen it all, the fights, the tears, the disaster of what they could be together.

A part of her, the one that hurts those that love her most, steps forward in that moment.

Strong and unyielding.

Sure, her mom had been a few years older than her when she and Lexi were born. It didn't exempt her from fucking them up.

"Just because I'm young it doesn't mean I can't be a good mom, or that I can't give my kids a better life than the one I had. At least I'm not a fucking drunk."

Suze froze, her heart sinking in her chest. For a long moment, she couldn't speak, the weight of her daughter's words settling heavily between them.

"Don't you ever think that's the reason I'm worried about you?" Suze's voice cracked, and for the first time, the walls around her started to crumble. Her eyes filled with tears she hadn't meant to let spill. "Cassie, You think love is enough? You think you're ready for this? You're barely keeping it together as it is."

Cassie's eyes also burned with unshed tears. She loved her mother, and she knew her mother loved her. But she would be lying if she didn't admit there was still a sting, a deep-seated resentment toward her for all those years she spent passed out on the couch, while Cassie and Lexi ate dry cereal for dinner.

Her father had his issues, left them, abandoned them, stole from them.

But Suze had stayed.

But did she really?

Physically she had been there, sure.

Emotionally though? Not so much.

Still, Cassie's words towards her mother were cruel. Sharp like a knife, hard like a punch. They had achieved their intended goal of hurting her mother.

"Why are you so shocked this is my life?" Cassie had eventually asked her mother. "You never believed I could be anything more than who I am, pregnant in high school, someone's wife. You never pushed me to be more than this."

She had always noticed the different ways Suze would praise her and Lexi. Her sister had lamented in her hideous play about not being the pretty one of the duo, she had portrayed her to be some vain, dumb blonde. Lexi was the smart one, the interesting one, the cultured one.

"This one will run circles around all of us." Her mom would say over and over, whenever friends and relatives visited. She would fawn over whatever grade Lexi had gotten at school, or praise from a teacher, or mammoth book she had just read. "Cassie? Oh she is growing into such a beautiful woman, you should see the hunk she's dating."

She had not once heard her mother praise something other than her looks or her male conquests. She had never pushed her to be anything more. Hell, she had never even asked her if she had plans for college.

"I just want you to be happy," Suze whispered back, her voice breaking. "That's all I've ever wanted for you and I worry you will never be."

She wanted to argue, to say something that would make her mom understand, but the words wouldn't come. The silence stretched on, suffocating her. She had always longed for approval, to be seen as capable, strong, smart.

Not a failure.

"I don't need your approval, Mom, or Lexi's" she said quietly, her voice steady but cold. "I love my family, and they make me happy. More than anything else in this world, they make me feel like I'm finally where I belong."

She had walked away from that conversation feeling beyond drained.

Lexi's reaction had been complete silence, which Cassie couldn't quite decide if she preferred or feared more.

Nate's parents had been less vocal of their disappointment, but everyone seemed to share a common concern over the rapid speed at which the young family was moving.

"You guys are just so young." Marsha had reasoned. "I wish you would slow down a little."

Gemma had been shocked by the news.

"Cass- are you sure this is what you want?" She had asked her, wide eyed. "If you need me to drive you somewhere, I can. It's your body- you can do whatever you want."

Could she though? She feared only thinking about what Nate would do if she went ahead and did something so extreme. She kept those thoughts to herself.

"I know the timing isn't great, but I've always wanted a family of my own." She tried to reassure her concerned friend.

It wasn't a lie, this was her dream. Kind of.

As she watched Nate play with Harvey, tossing him in the air while his chubby arms flailed around and his cute little giggle filled the room with sound, Cassie would be reminded of how much she had longed for this.

A family of her own to love and be loved by for eternity.

Truthfully, though, she had struggled to feel the same excitement she had when finding out about Harvey. The bond she felt when he was growing in her womb felt vastly different this time around. It was almost as though she were having an outer body experience, completely disconnected from the life growing within her.

This baby felt different.

Her body felt different.

With Harvey, she was glowing, beautiful, energised.

This time her body felt like it was decomposing. She had been struggling with the most atrocious morning sickness, barely keeping any food down. She was tired all the time and dreaded having to go back to look after Harvey all alone once Nate returned to his real life commitments shortly.

Her currently fractured relationship with her mom made her reluctant to reach out for help and it dawned on her how hard it would be to take care of a baby as she progressed into this pregnancy.

She didn't even dare to think how hard it would be to look after a newborn with a vivacious toddler. Just the thought filled her with anxiety.

That night, she lay with Nate's head resting on her stomach, Harvey asleep in his little carrier next to them. As she slowly played with her husband's hair, his attention would be focused on her still flat abdomen.

"I can't wait for this to pop out again." He would say, delicately stroking her belly button.

Cassie forced a smile, but inside, she felt torn. She couldn't bring herself to voice her true concerns, her fears about the future. She didn't want to disappoint him, didn't want to add to the tension constantly bubbling under the surface of their lives.

She felt incredibly guilty for not sharing the same excitement Nate was feeling at the prospect of welcoming a second baby.

Was she being selfish for not feeling the joy that he so clearly had?

The balance between caring for Harvey, preparing for a second baby, and navigating the emotional complexities of her own life felt like too much.

As Nate fell asleep, his breathing slow and steady, Cassie remained awake, staring at the ceiling.

Tomorrow, Nate would begin his commute to college again and Cassie couldn't help but worry that the delicate balance they had found would once again come tumbling down.

You can drive all night

Lookin' for the answers in the pourin' rain

You wanna find peace of mind

Lookin' for the answer