Title: The Blame Game
Author: badly-knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, OFC.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 779
Spoilers: Nada. Set in the Nosy-Verse
Summary: Ianto is not impressed with Torchwood's newest recruit.
Written For: thatspacebird's prompt 'Any, any, fluffy', at threesentenceficathon.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, or the characters.
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Expanding the team had sounded like such a good idea at the time, and in theory, it still was. Ianto had always thought the Hub was understaffed, and a few more people, field agents especially, would reduce everyone's workload. It might even allow for everyone to take the occasional day off. It was just a case of recruiting the right personnel, and that was nowhere near as easy as it sounded. They'd done okay to start with, really fallen on their feet with the first couple of recruits, but…
"It's so fluffy!" Janine Wilton, Torchwood's newest recruit, exclaimed in delight. She was the one Ianto had been dubious about hiring but Jack, as the boss, had overruled him, insisting that she'd be perfect, her bubbly personality would be a breath of fresh air around the Hub. Apparently, they needed that now Gwen was on maternity leave.
Personally, Ianto thought Jack just missed having someone hero-worshipping him, because neither Mickey nor Andy would lower themselves to that, and the longer-serving members of the team knew from experience that it was a bad idea to pander to their captain's vanity in any way. Still, if Jack felt the need to have someone around to fluff his ego, who was Ianto to disagree? He did want his lover to be happy, and it might save him some trouble. Jack thrived on attention, and Ianto didn't always have the time, or the inclination, to fuss over him.
Nevertheless, the new hire's comment seemed to Ianto to be stating the obvious, which in his opinion was never a good sign. Of course Torchwood's resident Fluff was fluffy, that was why it was called a Fluff; anyone should be able to work that out with a bit of basic deductive reasoning. But then he realised Janine wasn't talking about Nosy but about… the sofa in the break area? Had Jack replaced it with a new, fur-covered one without telling him? Or perhaps he'd found some furry slip covers; not exactly the most practical idea, but… No, wait, it wasn't just the sofa, it was the coffee table too, and since when did fur covered occasional tables become a thing? To answer his own question, never. That was just… wrong in so many ways!
"Jack, what did you do this time?" he snapped, striding towards his lover and causing Janine to squeak in alarm, scuttling behind her boss for protection; for some unknown reason she seemed to find Ianto a bit intimidating.
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" Jack said, raising his hands, looking a bit intimidated himself. "It was her, Janine; she wanted to know what that thing did, the device we picked up in Splott last night. You know, the one you put on Tosh's desk for her to look at."
As if they'd picked up more than one Rift Gift the previous night! Ianto raised an eyebrow. "And?" That surely wasn't the end of the story.
"And before I could stop her, she pressed the button, and… and…" Jack pointed at the sofa and the coffee table. "That happened. It went all fluffy."
Ianto's second eyebrow joined the first. "Stating the obvious there, aren't you?"
Jack shrugged helplessly.
"You did point out to Janine that pressing buttons on unidentified pieces of tech is generally considered a very bad idea, I hope?"
"Yes, I told her all that!"
"Before or after she pressed the button?"
"Before. With the rest of her orientation."
Closing his eyes, Ianto sighed. Yep, it looked like Jack had recruited a replacement for Gwen alright; couldn't keep her fingers to herself, despite all the warnings. "I suppose we should be thankful all it did was make a couple of things fluffy. It could just as easily have blown a massive crater in the Hub, or released poisonous gas, or sent a signal to a hostile invasion force."
Another squeak came from behind Jack, and Janine peeped out, eyes wide and sincere. "I'm so sorry I didn't think!" she babbled, so fast the words practically ran into each other.
"I'm sorry you didn't think as well," Ianto agreed. "Now we have furry furniture to deal with. You'd better hope Tosh can reverse the effects. Really, it's a good thing you weren't pointing the business end of the device at yourself. You might've wound up looking like a yeti, and that would be rather difficult to explain to your family."
"I won't do it again, I swear! No more pressing buttons!"
"I hope you mean that."
Something told Ianto that Janine wasn't going to last long with Torchwood. He could only hope the rest of the team would survive having her around.
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The End