A/N:
Essiter1987-Ah, that is true.
I both love and hate this site myself, but I'm fine with that. Can't really complain too much about a free service, right?
Huh, I suppose a Goddess of the Hunt would have to be pretty fast. Never thought of that before. Weird. Was expecting Kate to start using a bow but giving her a speed boost works, especially with how good she is at martial arts.
Ah, True Love. Not even the Gods can stop that.
Also, really Ares? Really? Went you can't even defeat the Goddess of Peace and you want to boast about being strong enough to take on Nyx? REally? There are Norse Gods less stubborn than you, and that's saying something!
NOTHING BETTER THAN FREE!
Truth be told, I kinda stole the speed thing from Class of the Titans. Great show. You can watch the entire thing in YouTube. I recommend it. But, of course, they get a LOT of myths wrong. Who in their right mind makes Typhon, the Final Boss of Greek Mythology, THE FIRST BOSS!?
Goddamn. You could roast a goat with that burn.
reydelnorte685-It is without a doubt one of the best chapters I have seen I hope to see more updates soon
Chapter four is one of my personal favorites, too. The thought of Penguin giving out a war cry as he shoots at Scylla herself? GLORIOUS!
Anyway, ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE!
Batwoman was typing away at the Bat Computer, getting more information as Batman and Wonder Woman, the heroine wearing her new armor, walked out of the elevator.
"Status report," Batman said.
"First things first: Red Hood went ahead," Batwoman said.
"He did what? That's reckless, even for him," Wonder Woman said.
"Batwing went after him, but Red will make it to the combat zone first."
"And what is the combat zone," Batman asked sternly.
Batwoman stopped typing before she sighed.
"You're not going to like it, Batman," Robin said, getting the hero's attention. "It's at Ace Chemical Building."
Batman's glare hardened before he looked at the Bat Computer. "Is that why Red Hood took off? Because HE'D be there?"
"Hood may not be a killer anymore... but everyone in this room has wanted to kill that clown at least once, even you. Hood ESPECIALLY wants to do the honors," Batwoman said.
"God almighty, I've wanted to kill him. Not a day goes by when I don't think about ending him, but we're not executioners, not even for him. Besides..." Batman glared at the screen, seeing the destruction on display. "I don't like how he appeared. Last I saw of him, he was in a full body cast."
"Courtesy of yours truly," Batwoman humbly bragged. Her eyes widened in realization. "Not even he heals that quickly. It would have been two weeks, max! . . . Oh, god."
"Exactly," Robin said when he realized it in horror.
"Eris," Wonder Woman went with a glare. "I should have known. That mad clown is a perfect Champion for her."
"Red Hood hasn't had nearly enough practice with his guns. None of us had adequate training with our new gear," Batman said.
"Gear nothing," Batwoman went. "I'm being taught by a goddess!"
"Is that a complaint," Artemis asked with her arms crossed as she stood beside Batwoman.
"GAH! Dammit, that's supposed to be our thing."
"Proof that you're not ready. Mortal men, sister, you three will have to handle this situation. I still have much to teach this one."
"We will not fail, Lady Artemis," Wonder Woman went with a bow.
"Seeing the destruction Eris's Champion is unleashing, I shudder to think what would happen should you do," Artemis said as they all looked at the screen in time for an explosive occurring, the smoke taking the shape of a familiar smile.
Then, the smoke actually laughed that horrendous cackle.
Red Hood was racing on his motorcycle toward Ace Chemicals. As he did, a shadow flew over him. Then another. He looked up. "You gotta be kidding me."
In the night sky were flocks of harpies. The bird-women were screeching at him before they swooped down. Red Hood was able to swerve past most of them when time seemed to slow down as once passed him.
Hood looked at the harpy in time, his eyes widening when he saw the familiar mad smile on the woman's face. 'Joker infected them with his toxins,' Hood thought.
Red Hood then took out his new gun and aimed. "Sorry, ladies." He fired at the flying monsters.
He was able to hit a majority of them, the harpies flying away when they saw the gun-toting hero outclassed them.
When the harpies were gone, Hood looked forward, only for his eyes to widen. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
Ace Chemicals was now the Ace Chemical Circus Show: Starring Ring King Joker and his lovely donator, The Goddess of Discord herself, Eris.
At least that's what was on the giant neon sign, an image of Joker and Eris ballroom dancing with wicked smiles on their faces.
Red Hood then saw that the gate was closed, a massive strongman about the size of Bane with the classic handlebar mustache standing in front of the gate.
"TICKETS! PLEEEEASE," he bellowed as he flexed.
"Here's your damned tickets," Hood said as he aimed his Stymphalian Pistol at the man, not hesitating to fire.
The Strongman only puffed out his chest, the feather-shaped bullets stabbing into his hairy chest. He then flexed his pecks, the bullets falling off. "NOT STRONG ENOUGH," the man bellowed.
"Tch. Sorry, Dick, but I HATE the circus," Red Hood said as he reeved up and sped toward the man.
The strongman lifted his massive arms and pounded the ground with enough force to send a shockwave that crumbled the street.
'Definitely stronger than Bane,' Red thought. He still sped toward the wave, timing it just right. When he saw the right rock, he used it as a ramp to jump over the rest of the wave and toward the strong man.
Red Hood immediately shot the strongman in the face, stunning the man. Hood's wheel then landed on the man's face, Hood reeving his bike up to peel on the man's face and using him as a springboard to get over the gate and into the 'circus'.
When he landed, Red Hood looked back to see the Strongman look back at him, not a scratch on the man's face. 'Of course, he's enchanted,' Hood thought before looking toward the massive tent. He then entered it.
"WHOA," Hood went as he went down a ramp before riding up a loop. He then jumped over a ditch, looking down to see a boiling cauldron full of biting sharks. When he landed on the other side, he road past giant swinging axes, dropping ceilings, flame throwers, and poison darts, avoiding every trap before screeching to a halt.
"That... sucked."
Red Hood then heard party horns, looking up to see confetti flying everywhere. He then looked up at a balcony and saw Joker walk out while still blowing a party horn, a crown on his head. "Hm? Hoody! How's it going, kiddo? I was expecting Batsy first, but you're JUST as good. You feel like going back to being a murderous killer, pumpkin?"
Jason growled beneath his mask before he aimed his gun at Joker.
"Ooh, good answer so far," Joker said with his classic sadistic smirk.
Joker smiles at the sight of Red Hood aiming a gun at him. "What a pretty little pop gun you have there, Hoodie."
"Great for popping that balloon you call a head."
"Ooh! Then go on, kiddo. Do what Daddy could never do! You've got the toy, and the target is right here," Joker said as he tapped his forehead. "Come on, Hoodie! You're not Batsy! You've never been like that prudish, scowling, sad sack! You're not afraid to kill! You even LOVED it for a time! I know it's still in you. So come on! Pull the plug! Stop me once and for all! You've said it yourself! Batsy ignored everything I've done! The entire graveyards I've filled before death could!" Hood's finger twitched on the trigger. "The thousands I tortured before time could! The friends of yours I crippled before anyone else had the pleasure to do it! So come on! remember all that I've done and make Daddy proud!"
BANG.
Joker was still smiling... until his smile lessened. "Hold on. I know I heard a bang." He patted himself down before rubbing his forehead and looked at his palm. "No blood. . . Not even any ketchup from lunchtime's hamburger. What's going on here?" He then looked to his side to see the bullet Jason shot being held. "Aw, he noticed."
"I'll admit, I'm impressed," Eris said as she appeared, holding the feather-shaped bullet that would have pierced her right between the eyes, a smile on her face.
"So, how did you know," Eris asked as she walked away from behind Joker before leaning on the rails, still smiling at Red Hood.
"Honestly, Eris, I was hoping you'd be there. I'm not some genius detective like Batman or Robin. Hell, Nightwing is a better detective than I am. I rely on my guts. Besides, no way in hell Joker would make that neon sign of him AND you dancing together unless you were close by."
"Mm, maybe I did make it too obvious. Still, Hoodie, you missed a big chance. You could have killed me, bucko."
"And make you happy? Make it so I'd be perfect for Eris to puppet? Give you one last smile off to Hell knowing you'd won by leaving your replacement behind?!"
"Yes, yes, and oh-ho-ho yes!"
"Joker... I hate you... with every fiber of my being. Not a day goes by when I don't have nightmares about you torturing me... or dreams about me killing you. But Batman was right. It's a miracle I was able to come back from the murderous monster YOU made me into, but I'm never going back to that. For the Family, I'm not going to kill you, Joker." Red Hood took out his other Stymphalian Gun. "But I'm going to enjoy hurting you and putting you in another body cast."
Eris and Joker stared at Red Hood before Eris snickered. Then she and Joker burst out laughing.
"That does sound like fun, but that sounds more like a final act, wouldn't you agree, my dear," Joker asked.
"Yes, I would, and the show had only just begun."
When Eris said that, Joker snapped his fingers, the entire tent going dark. Then, a spotlight shined on Red Hood, and his motorcycle was gone.
Then, another spotlight shined on Joker, who was in a ringmaster get-up. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, sane and insane, mentally sound and sick in the head, step right up for a one-night show! The star of the circus, Red Hood, will entertain you with the greatest show on Earth! But I'm warning you, viewer discretion... IS NOT ADVISED! THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHOW FOR ALL AGES TO EXPERIENCE! NOW SEND IN THE CLOWNS!" Joker's spotlight then went out, his mad laughter echoing in the darkness.
Another spotlight then shined, getting Hood's attention.
"Aw, shit," he said when he saw... a clown car.
Red Hood watched as the clown car, which wasn't even tall enough to reach his abs, rolled on by, honking all the while. It rolled past him, making banging noises as if the engine was shot, a stream of black smoke flowing out of the exhaust pipe, sounding ready to fall to pieces at any moment. It made a full circle around Red Hood before stopping. The driver door pointed at Red Hood before both doors opened.
There was only darkness in the car before a red smile appeared. Then, a red nose. Finally, a pair of eyes, but they were mismatched. They were a spectacle of colors flowing out of the pupils, pure madness seen in the eyes.
Then, the clown stepped out. He was about as tall as Hood, but had a beer gut, wore shoes that were at least three feet long, and was holding a clown horn.
He honked the horn a few times, giving a goofy clown laugh before aiming the horn at Hood.
Hood immediately jumped out of the way. Good thing, too.
If he hadn't, the honk from that horn would have destroyed him, or so he gathered when he looked to see a ruined path starting from the horn past where Hood was standing.
He then heard a woman giggling and looked to see a female clown had gotten out of the car, and she was juggling knives. She was giggling as she juggled the deadly weapons, paying full attention to them. "Whoop," she went as she accidentally threw one too high.
Hood couldn't help but watch the knife before his instincts kicked in, the hero catching a knife that was thrown at his chest before using that same knife to deflect the one falling toward him. That made both clowns laugh hysterically.
Then, another clown got out of the car. He was HUGE, the fat clown stuffing his face full of pie. When he actually revealed his face, it was covered in pie cream before he licked it all off with his freakishly long tongue. Yes, that included licking the top of his bald head. He then let out a massive burp that Hood had to jump out of the way of, another sound cannon rushing past him. The fat clown then threw the giant tin the pie was in, which Hood also had to jump out of the way of. It actually made a crater where it landed.
Lion roars were then heard, followed by whipping. A lion-tamer clown backed out of the car, laughing as he cracked his whip. Then followed... the Nemean Lion.
"Oh, shit," Red Hood thought as he saw the massive beast being led out by a clown, wondering if his guns were enough to take on a monster known for having a nearly impenetrable hide.
Then, a clown ballerina jumped out of the car. She was petite, skilled, and oddly beautiful. She would have looked prettier if the tips of her toes weren't covered in razors.
Hissing was heard next. Then, a stream of snakes slithered out of the car, followed by a clown slithering along with them. Hood was almost shocked she wasn't-
The clown then looked at Red Hood and hissed, along with her snake hair hissing at him.
"Of course, she's a Gorgon. Should be glad she isn't Medusa herself."
A clown in a floral suit then stepped out, sniffing a rose in his hand before sighing in contentment. He then looked at Hood before holding the rose toward him, only for a huge stream of acid to shoot out for Hood to jump out of the way.
A clown with electrified hair then stepped out, being shocked every few seconds, laughing every time he did. He then saw Hood and laughed at him before blasting lightning in the hero's direction, Jason actually shooting at it. His feathers and the lightning cancelled each other out, making the electric clown laugh.
Then, the car began to creak. Jason and the clowns looked at the car, hearing banging and groaning. Then, the car seemed to be getting bigger and bigger until it finally burst open, a mammoth of a clown roaring before he flexed his painted muscles. He was even bigger than the Strong man guarding the entrance of the tent.
When all nine clowns finally made their appearance, they all looked at Red Hood, laughing menacingly as they closed in on him.
Red Hood took his stance, preparing to fight all of the enemies, including their pets, with only one thought on his mind:
"Goddammit. I fucking HATE clowns."