I was sitting at home browsing through memes on X, The Everything App, and then I thought to myself "wait, being on social media sucks and i should do something productive with my life, like watching tv". So I turn on the tv to watch my favorite show Ed Edd n Eddy, but i notice something very wrong. I couldn't find Ed, Edd n Eddy on any of the channels. I flip through all the channels. House MD, We Bare Bears, Spongebob Squarepants, Scooby Dooby Doo... I don't wanna watch any of these shows! I wanna watch Ed Edd n Eddy! Did Ed Edd n Eddy get taken off the air? I was petrified by this thought.

I spent the next couple hours flipping through every channel on the tv, only to find edd ed n eddy on none of them. I only had one channel left to check. I hesitantly press the change channel button to see the last channel. It's THE FUCKING NEWS. My jaw drops to the ground. Where's Ed Edd n Eddy? I stomp my feet on the ground like a toddler, but what the news reporter says catches my attention.

The news reporter stares at me with hyper-realistic eyes and says "BREAKING NEWS: CARTOON NETWORK HAS TAKEN ED EDD N EDDY OFF THE AIR FOREVER". I scream in anguish that my favorite show can no longer be found on the air, but it gets worse. The news reporter moves on to the next headline.

"AN ACCOUNT ON X THE EVERYTHING APP HAS TAKEN THE WORLD BY STORM CALLED HORSE RACE TESTS." I was like, oh! Horse race tests! I was browsing X, The Everything App on my phone earlier so I've heard all about it and I even drew my own fanart! "It's cool to see that this account has become successful enough to make the news!" I say out loud.

"NO! THIS STORY IS ABOUT TO TAKE A DARK, TWISTED TURN" the news reporter says. "Huh? How could this story take a dark and twisted turn?" I reply. The news reporter leans in closer to the camera and says to me "THE ORANGE HORSE FROM HORSE RACE TESTS HAS BEEN MURDERED". "WHAT?" I scream. Jovial died? This is even worse than Ed Edd n Eddy being taken off the air! How could someone do such a thing?

This has gotten too scary for me. "Watching TV sucks" i think to myself, "I should do something more productive with my life, like browsing X, The Everything App". And so I open my phone to browse X, The Everything App and go about my day. I scroll through my timeline and see a lot of funny memes and posts. Then a new post appears. It's a new race from Horse Race Tests.

"Where's Jovial?" i think to myself. Oh right, he died. The race already has an uncanny aura to it thanks to the absence of Jovial, but I decide to watch it anyway. But then I notice something strange. The cyan horse was made of hyper-realistic goo. Why does he look like that? Whatever, I decide to bet the blue horse is gonna win, because blue is my favorite color.

The race begins and something insane happens. The brown horse slips on a hyper-realistic banana peel and dies. "Why the fuck would you do that?" I say. I'm so fucking mad at the brown horse, I don't even feel bad that he died because anyone should've been able to see that banana peel right in front of them.

I keep watching the race, and i notice that the cyan horse isn't moving! It's slithering across the ground like it's a slug. I like slugs, so I'm like "oh you go little guy! you got this!" But what happened next was probably the scariest thing to happen in this entire race.

Thanos from Marvel steps out of a dark portal, and he says "I am inevitable." and he punches the blue horse in the face! I scream because there's nothing I'm scared of more than Thanos from Marvel, okay well maybe I'm scared of Edd Ed n Eddy being taken off the air more, but Thanos from Marvel is still the second scariest thing in the world to me.

I'm like "What gives, Thanos from Marvel? I was betting on that horse! You can't just start attacking it!". The other horses in the race are all scared and crying for help, their minds are completely off the race by this point, except for the cyan horse who's still slugging along the track.

Now I'm just annoyed because these horses wont shut the fuck up, so I decide to mute the video before I keep watching. But then Thanos from Marvel starts talking again! I don't want to unmute the video, so I decide to read his lips. "I am inevitable" says Thanos from Marvel, before snapping his fingers. Half of the horses have been taken out of the race! "This has gone way too far!" i say. Thanos from Marvel has completely ruined the contest by killing half of the horses! How can I continue to keep watching this? I don't even care who wins at this point. I hit the hyper-realistic unfollow button and I never watch another horse race test ever again.