My name is Gloopium. I host a token-hell joke camp inspired by camps like Battle For McDonald's and Time Warp, where challenges are ranked solely on dumb humour and entertainment. I was just getting ready to start the third season of the show. When I opened signups, it turned out to be a huge success! I got so many people signing up for the camp, it was crazy! Initially, I wanted everyone who signed up to get in, but there was a point where I had to put my foot down and say "Okay guys! No more!"

I decided that the season would have 50 players, since its a nice round number and is the perfect amount for all the tokens to function properly! I go through all the signups and pick my favorites. About a week later, I'm finally ready to announce the cast. I go into the #fotf-casts channel and start announcing who got in, and while I'm doing that, something scary happens.

I realize there's only 49 players! That's a real inconvenience, because 49 is an ugly number. How could this even be? I counted the whole cast five times over and it added up to 50 each time! "Oh, maybe I'm forgetting to count the dice!" I think to myself, so I start counting the cast again and I just get 49 each time! What's going on here? Someone just dipped from the cast!

I was gonna be so angry at whoever disappeared without letting me know, because now I've embarrassed myself in front of a whole audience. I still wanted there to be a 50th competitor though, so I quickly scrambled to make sure a new player could sign up. I ask the audience who wants to play, and that's when a green turtle-like creature approaches me.

"I want to play", says the hyper-realistic green guy. "Okay, what's your name and pronouns?" i ask. "My name is Fishy Boopkins. Let me in."

So I let Fishy Boopkins in and sigh in relief as I was able to find a 50th player to compete in my token hell. But later would I find out that letting Fishy Boopkins in would be my greatest mistake yet.

I give everyone some time to settle down before beginning the first contest, but this Fishy Boopkins guy keeps being real annoying! "Mama! Mama!" says Fishy Boopkins, "Feed me inchwraps!" and I say "What the heck? I'm not your mom.". Fishy Boopkins starts crying like a baby, so I say "Fine! Here's a damn inchwrap!", so I give Fishy Boopkins an inchwrap token and he uses it, meaning I have to send him to a random confessional channel.

So I open up my secret randomizer program to determine whose confessional Fishy Boopkins would be going to, and instead of a competitor's name, a weird different name pops up...

"The Experiment"

Well, I don't remember "the experiment" being a confessional channel, let alone a competitor name, but I decided it'd be unfair if I were to re-spin, so I put Fishy Boopkins in the channel and tell The Experiment to say hello to its new roommate.

After I do that though, I realize. Wait. There is no confessional channel called "the experiment". Where the hell did I send Fishy Boopkins then? Well, to be honest it's the least of my concerns at the moment, because the first challenge is about to start.

I ping the competitors, ready to announce the challenge. It's a cooking challenge! But then I fall over like an idiot and get my gloopium everywhere. That's so annoying, I hate it when that happens, because now I have to scrap the cooking challenge I was looking forward too and make the challenge getting me a new element instead.

One by one, my competitors start sending in their entries. Almost everyone participates, but by the last hour of the challenge I notice one competitor still hasn't submitted an entry. It's Fishy Boopkins. "Oh god", i think to myself "Did Fishy Boopkins die in the experiment?"

I prepare to write my eulogies for FOTF S3's first eliminated player, but on the very last second before the deadline I see a new message in the entries channel. It's from Fishy Boopkins! Phew!

But something was off. Fishy Boopkin's entry was a HYPERREALISTIC TINY URL LINK /fotf-hyper-realistic. I panicked because the link looked sketchy as fuck, but I finally found out why Fishy Boopkins had been absent for so long. It wasn't because of the experiment, it's because he got hacked!

I decided not to click on the link, and instead deleted it and disqualified Fishy Boopkins from the contest for being hacked. I never hosted another Fight of the Funnies challenge again. The end.