Chapter 2:

Lucy stood in front of her bedroom mirror, the dress still only half on, fingers frozen on the zipper. Tamara had gone into the bathroom to finish her makeup leaving Lucy, alone, with her thoughts and a sharp, numbing pain that seemed to be pressing heavier by the minute.

The hot chocolate had helped. Tamara's words, too. But that ache… it didn't budge. Not for long.

She sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed again, the party looming like a dark cloud overhead. She didn't want to go. Not because she didn't love Tamara—God, she did—but because the idea of showing up and seeing everyone looking at her with sympathy made her stomach turn. The pity, the careful words, the not-so-secret glances. They'd all know. Thanks to the fact that the station gossiped more than high schoolersand Smitty's not so helpful bet, her breakup had become public for the whole station to she wanted to do was focus on Tamara and nothing else.

Lucy ran her hands through her hair and stared at the floor, her mind overthinking all of her decisions once again, rethinking, to the memory earlier that day in the shop with Sergeant Grey. She hadn't meant to say so much, but once it started pouring out, she hadn't been able to stop. Gosh was it embarrassing.

Lucy- "This all started because of babysitting. Babysitting? I mean—I— is there anywhere in the city that is safe?"

Grey-"I know you're worried about Tamara being out there on her own. But you should be proud of showing that girl that kind of unconditional love. That kind of love gave her the courage to leave."

Lucy-"You're right, I— just— I guess you just have to let people go. Even the ones you care the most about…"

Grey-"We still talking about Tamara?"

Lucy-"I— I just—… I don't know. Why this happened. You know, no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about it. How— how did he let go so easily? I reallyreallythought our relationship was worth more than some cheap cliché nonsense about how I deserve better. I mean, shouldn'tIbe the one who decides what I deserve? Even if I wanted total self-destruction, that's formeto decide. It'smylife."

Grey- "….."

Lucy- "Sarge, I'm really sorry for dumping all my personal business on your ear."

Grey-"I'm glad you got it all out. But I think there's someone else you really wanna say all that to."

And she had taken his advice. She had gone to Tim. She said it all, maybe not exactly like that- but enough of it to be real, to cut deep.

And it hadn't gone well.

She didn't regret saying it. She just hated that it didn't change anything. She'd thought maybe, just maybe, getting it off her chest would give her some closure, or bring him back, orsomething. But it didn't. It just made it all clearer, a bit like a reality check that nothing was gonna change.

She sniffed, swiping under her eyes quickly. Her mascara hadn't run,yet, but it would if she sat here any longer. Suddenly she glanced at the clock, crap.

She stood up, fumbled with the zipper and shouted, "Tamara! We have to go!"

From the hallway, Tamara called back," We're fine, right on time!—wait, are you actually hurrying me now?"

Lucy gave a watery laugh. It wasn't much, but it was something. Maybe she wasn't ready to forgive. Or move on. Or even feel better.

But she could still show up. And tonight, maybe that would be enough, After all, she wouldn't be able to see Tamara every single day now so maybe she should try to just focus on Tamara, it may be hard but tonight should be about Tamara not her.

…