Beca stood in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and trying to tamp down her thundering heartbeat. She and Jesse had finished another silent dinner. Usually Beca would at least make some effort to engage Jesse, asking questions about his day or about his interests. They would be answered with grunts - if they were answered at all. He scrolled through his phone as he ate as quickly as he could shovel the food into his face. Then he would scamper off to play on his PS5 or turn on sports or go to a movie. Beca would clean up alone before joining Jesse in the living area to read or play on her phone. She used to work on music on her laptop, her massive headphones shutting off the outside world. But after Jesse complained about her not hearing him(likehe actually talked to her) or ignoring him(pot… kettle), she found it easier to avoid an argument by not even taking her laptop out of her bag while he was awake.

Tonight, though, Beca had no plans to let Jesse get distracted with the television. She needed to talk to him. So she put the dishes into the machine as quickly as possible - she could straighten them before she started it later. Then she moved rapidly into the living area. Jesse was already in his chair, watching the PS5 updating something or another. She walked into the room and positioned herself between Jesse and the screen. His eyes flicked up, irritation already crawling onto his face."Jesse,before you get into your game, I really need to talk to you about something," Beca stated - trying to keep her voice calm and steady. She mostly accomplished it.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jesse relaxed back into the chair and looked at his girlfriend.

Beca took a deep breath."Idon't know if you have noticed, but … I have been a little off … for a little while."

"Yeah," Jesse agreed."Inoticed." He shrugged."Ifigured it was your period."

"For a month?!" Beca asked, shocked - but not completely shocked - at how little he paid attention to anything.

"Has it been that long?" Jesse asked, his forehead crunched up as he thought."MaybeI just thought you were being your usual sunny self." He laughed to himself at his comment.

Beca scowled, but she needed to keep things on track." wasn't my period, and it wasn't normal." She breathed deeply to try to center herself."Ihaven't felt like myself for a while. Well, more like, I have felt that who I have been isn't who I'm supposed to be." Jesse looked completely baffled by what Beca was saying. Beca sensed his impending disconnection, so she tried to get to the point."Istarted to notice some things … to realize … that I'm not the same as I used to be. I think I've been ignoring some things … and I need to not do that any more."

Jesse frowned."Whatthe fuck are you talking about? I can't keep up."

Beca tightened her jaw and breathed out through her nose. She didn't want to do it this way, didn't want to just drop a bomb. But Jesse wasn't giving her the room to work through her thoughts. She just blurted it out."Ithink I'm bisexual."

A cold silence immediately filled the room. Jesse's gaze turned hard."Whatthe fuck is that supposed to mean? You're bisexual. Are you fucking some chick?"

"What?" Beca's eyes flew open at the accusation."No!No I'm not cheating at all. It is just … I have noticed some things, some thoughts that I have had … and I think that I am bisexual."

"I don't understand what that means," Jesse said forcefully."Areyou wanting to leave me and go hook up with some chick?"

"NO!" Beca raised her voice."Please,just try to listen." Jesse quieted down and indicated she should continue. His eyes were still harsh - his jaw still clenched."Ithink I've always been attracted to women and men. But … I kind of buried that. It is only recently that I have been feeling things that I can't just push away."

"What kind of feelings?" Jesse asked, suspicion laced in the words.

"Just … feeling attraction for women," Beca tried to explain."Likeif I'm out … a woman will go by, and I"ll … just feel … aroused … drawn to her … you know, attracted." Jesse didn't say anything."Comeon, Jess. You know what it is to be attracted to a woman you see, right? You've felt that."

"Yeeeaaaah," he replied."Butthat doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck her."

"Neither am I!" Beca retorted."GoodGod, get off of the thought of me screwing around. Did you think I was going to screw every guy I ever was attracted to?"

"You were attracted to other guys?" Jesse's face was a mixed of anger and confusion.

"Are you serious right now?!" Beca rubbed her is he being so stupid?"Youhave been attracted to other women since we have been together right?"

"Yeah."

"And I've been attracted to other men."

"Okay."

"Neither of us acted on that … or planned to act on it. It is just a fact. It is a normal part of being a person with eyes and emotions."

"Yeah, I get it," Jesse answered, rolling his eyes - like Beca hadn't needed to explain all of that - like he hadn't been acting completely taken aback at the information that Beca would have those feelings.

"Ok, so nothing is different," Beca concluded."Exceptfor I ALSO have those feelings for women."

Jesse stared at her in disbelief."Nothingis different?!" He scooted forward in his seat and flailed his arms."EVERYTHINGis different. It feels like you're a different person! You're not a lesbian … we've been together for four years!"

"Not a lesbian," Beca corrected."Bisexual."

"Poe-tay-toe, poe-tah-toe," Jesse dismissed her comment with a hand wave.

"No, Jesse, it isn't the same thing," Beca stated. She was getting very frustrated at his pigheaded behavior."Alesbian is only interested in women. A bisexual is interested in both."

"Irregardless," Jesse replied."Youhave always been heterosexual."

"That's what I'm trying to say," Beca replied."Idon't think I always have been. I started thinking back through my life, and I noticed there were quite a few instances where I definitely had feelings for a woman that were not straight."

"Well why didn't you come to this conclusion before?"

"You know how I grew up," Beca reminded him."Icould have gotten thrown out of my house for even thinking this was a possibility."

"So now you're just out there, checking out all these women, fantasizing about them," Jesse announced.

"Why is this so difficult for you to even accept?" Beca asked."Itdoesn't change anything between us."

"The fuck it doesn't!" Jesse vigorously disagreed."NowI've got to worry about EVERYBODY that you encounter. Men AND women."

"Worry about in what way?"

"Worry in what way?!"

"You know," Jesse answered and waved his hand around."Thatsomething will happen with them."

Beca stared in complete disbelief."Didyou honestly worry that I would have an affair every time I talked to a guy?"

"No … I don't know!" Jesse pursed his lips as he thought."Iunderstand that you would maybe be attracted to guys, but … just the thought that you would be attracted to women."

"What difference does it make?" Beca desperately searched for clarity.

"You knew better," Jesse tried to explain."Youweren't friends with a lot of guys. So you weren't going to be in compromising situations with them."

"Do you think I'm in a lot of compromising situations with women?" Beca questioned.

"I don't know," Jesse answered - his voice about an octave higher than normal."Youwork with women. And you're friends with women. And you have business trips with women. Who's to say that you won't … drink a little too much … and dance a little too close …"

"For fuck's sake, Jesse," Beca shouted."Thisisn't a porno. Just because I am attracted to a woman doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with her any more than me being attracted to a man means I'm going to sleep with him!"

"Yeah, but, being attracted to a man is …"

"Is … what?" Beca's voice had turned hard as granite. Her eyebrows narrowed. Even the most clueless man would recognize that he was walking on thin ice.

"NORMAL!" Jesse blurted."It'snormal. What you're supposed to do. You're supposed to be attracted to guys."

Beca face fell. She was shooting daggers at Jesse."So,you're saying I'm not NORMAL."

"No," Jesse floundered."Imean … you're normal … it's just … it is weird. You just aren't gay! You're normal."

Tension filled the room. Beca's anger was barely restrained as she looked at her boyfriend - her best friend. It was like she truly saw him for the first time and did not like what she saw."I'vegot to go," Beca said with finality."Ican't be here with you right now."

"Becaaaaa," Jesse whined."Don'toverreact." Beca moved into their bedroom, grabbing clothes and stuffing them into a tote bag. Jesse stood up from his chair and moved to lean against the doorway of the bedroom."C' 't be like this." Beca ignored his pleading, striding into the bathroom to grab some toiletries. She stuffed everything into the bag. She walked past Jesse into the living room and grabbed her computer bag.

As she started to put her jacket on, finally, Jesse looked up with a start."Isit Chloe?"

Beca's eyes flashed."IsWHAT Chloe?"

"Is she the one you've been attracted to? That's led you to this life-changing realization?" The mocking tone drilled into Beca. She glared at Jesse and slammed the door on her way out. She had expected this to go poorly. Jesse lived up to expectations. He had been pigheaded, homophobic, dismissive, insensitive. But the worst part was that - when it came to Chloe - he had been right.