Guest (1): We'll see.
Guest (2): I consider 18 & 19 to be both teens and adults. It does have the word "Teen" in it, they're still technically a teen. If not, they should have made a new word for them like eleven and twelve. We don't call eleven; one-teen or twelve; two-teen.
JTK: Thanks. And good guess.
Deadpoollover77: We'll see if those are right or wrong
fiacoe3: Hm, tell me your idea.
Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island, twenty-two campers had signed up to spend right weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp, then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers.
(From the last episode)
DJ: It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?
(The scene shows the campers on the cliff, looking nervous)
DJ: Oh shit!
[Several shots of the lights and cameras hidden around camp popping out and turning on, often at the expense of the wildlife. A cue card marks a transition to a fly-by shot starting at the docks and 'Wawanakwa' sign, past the camp facilities, and over the top of the host drinking coffee in a director's chair just as the lyrics start.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[The camera flies through the trees and up to the largest cliff, peeking over to see two rings of buoys laid out in the water.]
You guys are on my mind!
[The camera dives off the cliff and into an underwater shot; Sugar swims through the water in a bikini and farts. The gas blows behind her and kills a fish]
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[On the surface, Wayne and Katie are floating on a surfboard. Both have smiles on their face that turn into wide-eyed disgust as the dead fish surfaces; a bird swoops down and grabs the fish]
I wanna be...famous!
[The bird flies off into the sun and drops the fish. The camera pans down to DJ peacefully meditating with the animals in the woods until the fish lands on him and scares the animals and provokes them. The camera zooms out to show Duncan watching the scene and laughing, and then again to show Dawn glaring at him]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[The camera zooms to another part of the camp, showing Fiore and Lill sitting in an inflatable raft, the two glaring at each other, and about to go over a waterfall. They notice too late and scream as they go over the edge.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The shot pans down to the bottom of the waterfall, showing Harold, practicing some kind of martial arts stances on a log suspended across the rocks at the bottom of the falls. Too busy in his stances, he misses Fiore and Lill falling behind him. Suddenly he is hit by Izzy swinging on a vine, sending both flying off to the left of the camera.]
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
[The camera rapidly pans to follow Harold and Izzy, and they eventually slam into the outhouse confessional. The impact causes Lindsay to fly out the door, and the camera pans over to the Main Lodge – Chef's silhouette is visible in the window.]
I'll get there one day.
[The camera moves in past the window to show a smirking Chef, arm deep in a large pot of something sickly green. He looks behind him to where Oliver and Noah are sitting, both tied up. The two share a nervous glance.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[The camera pans left to show Ripper and Scott arm-wrestling. Ending with Ripper winning. The camera zooms out past another window to show the edge of the docks. Beth and Grett were sitting on the step looking at Alejandro, who was shirtless]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[A pan down the docks shows a seagull with plastic wrapped around its neck floating in the lake. A fish jumps out of the water behind it and is quickly eaten by a shark, while a tentacle pulls the seagull underwater]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[Dakota moves the camera onto herself and kisses the lens. She waves as a man quickly wipes away the smudge, then types something into her cellphone. Moments later, five other men appear on the docks with cameras, snapping pictures of a rapidly-posing Dakota.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The photo shoot is interrupted by a splash of water; the camera pans right to show an annoyed Chris standing on a boat and holding an empty bucket. The reflection of light on the bucket becomes stars in the night sky as the scene transitions, panning down to reveal Tess and Mike sitting at a campfire in front of a large full moon. They lean in for a kiss but are interrupted by Chase's sudden appearance between them, an arm around both of them, and an oblivious smile. The shot zooms out to show the other campers also sitting around the fire and whistling the last few notes of the theme song as Chris watches.]
(The episode starts at the cliff where the contestants are)
Chris: Today's challenge is threefold. Your first task is to jump off this 1,000-foot-high cliff into the lake.
Grett: Seems easy.
Chris: If you look down, you will see two target areas. The wider area represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with psychotic man-eating sharks (three sharks circle). Inside that area is a safe zone. That's your target area, which we're pretty sure is shark-free.
Lill: What do you mean, "pretty sure?"
Chris: For each member of your team that jumps and actually survives. There will be a crate of supplies waiting below. (The camera quick-panned to two stacks of crates already piled on the beach) Inside each create are supplies that you'll need for the second part of the challenge. Building a hot tub! The team with the best one gets to have a wicked hot tub party tonight. The losers will be sending someone home. Let's see, Killer Bass, you're up first.
Alejandro: (Looks over the edge) Who's gonna go first?
(Killer Bass are unsure who wants to go first, a cricket chirps from the background. It pans over to the Gophers)
Ripper: Hey, don't sweat it, guys. I heard that these shows always make the interns do the stunts first to ensure that they're survivable.
(A flashback shows Chris and Chef on the cliff, Chef is in his bathing suit, and an inner tube)
Chris: We need to test the stunts first, you know that.
Chef: Do I look like an intern?
Chris: No, but the ones we had are all in the hospital, come on, just jump it you big chicken. (He imitates a chicken bawking) Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.
Chef: (Putting on his goggles) I don't get paid enough for this man. (He jumps and screams and lands on the water) Hey, I made it, I made it, man! (Suddenly, something approaches Chef's legs) Someone just brushed my foot! (A shark circles around Chef) Hey, Chris, man. Someone right down here! (He lands in the water, he screams and runs in mid-air)
Chris: Well, that seems safe.
Dawn: So, who's up?
Duncan: Ladies first.
Alejandro: No, we gentlemen must make sure it's safe for the rest of you. I'll go first
(Alejandro jumps off the cliff and into the circle. He pops out of the water and waves to his team as a boat arrives to pick him up)
Chase: (To his camera) Oh dang, Alexander just did an awesome dive into the water
Grett: (To Chase) Uh, his name is-
Chase: Not while I'm recording, Garry. (Grett glares at him) Now it's my turn to make a cool dive.
(Chase jumps off the cliff and lands face-first into a buoy. Alejandro cringes at the sight)
Chase: Ow... (Slides into the water)
(Grett jumps off screaming, then Oliver, and finally Duncan, who just crosses his arm silently as he falls)
DJ: (Looking off the edge) Uh-uh, no way, man. (nervous) I'm not jumping.
Chris: (To DJ) Scared of heights?
DJ: Yeah, ever since I was a kid.
Chris: That's okay, big guy. Unfortunately, that makes you a chicken, so you'll have to wear (Put a chicken hat on DJ) this for the rest of the day.
DJ: Aw man, for real?
Chris: Bawk, bawk, bawk! That means the chicken path is that-a-way.
(DJ walks to the escalator, but before he goes down it, Dawn approaches him)
Dawn: Don't feel ashamed DJ, we all have your fears that are hard to conquer
DJ: Thanks, Dawn. (Gets on the escalator)
(Dawn then peacefully jumps into the water)
Harold: Yes! (He jumps and screams. He painfully lands on his crotch, making him scream in pain. Alejandro, Grett, and Oliver flinch, as several birds fly away)
Shark: Ooh!
(Harold continues to scream in pain as he sinks into the water)
Chris: Oh, hate to see that happen.
Dakota: (Walks up to Chris) Excuse me, Chris. I don't think I can do this challenge.
Chris: Why's that?
Dakota: I can't be a famous star if I'm dead
Chris: You can chicken out if you want, but it might end up costing your team the win, and then they'll hate you.
Dakota: I'm sure we'll win it.
Chris: Alright, (Puts a chicken hat on Dakota) here is your chicken hat. (Dakota looks at her chicken hat) So, let's tally up the results. Hold on, that's seven jumpers and two chickens. (To Wayne and Katie) That just leaves you two. Are you two jumping or chickening out?
Wayne: Can we jump together?
Chris: Sure.
Wayne: (Grabs Katie's hand) Let's do it, babe!
(They run off the cliff together, scream happily, and land on the water)
Chris: Okay, so that's nine jumpers and two chickens. Screaming Gophers, if you can beat that, we'll throw in a pull cart to put your crates on.
Mike: Nice, okay, guys, who's up first?
(The Screaming Gophers are unsure who should jump first)
Ripper: I'll do it! I'm no chicken! (Walks to the edge of the cliff) I eat bigger cliff like this for breakfast.
Fiore: How do you eat cliffs?
Scott: It's a figure of speech, idiot! (Gets smacked in the back of his head by Lill)
(Ripper jumps off the cliff without screaming and landing in the water)
Mike: I'm Next. (Jumps off the cliff and into the water)
Lindsay: (To Chris) I thought this was going to be a talent contest.
Chris: (Laughs) Yeah, (Laughs) No.
(Lindsay jumps off screaming, then Tess, and lastly, Izzy. Back at the top, we see Fiore on the edge, looking nervous to jump)
Lill: (Walks up to her) You don't have to jump if you don't want to.
Fiore: (Teary-eyed) B-b-b-but if I don't I might get voted off and my parents will be angry. And I don't like it when they're angry...
(Lill felt bad for her)
Confessional: Fiore
Fiore: My plan is simple. I'm gonna play up the little kid act and slowly gain all their trust. If anyone annoys me I can convince the team to vote them off.
Confessional ends
Lill: Want me to hold your hand?
Fiore: Yes
(Fiore grabs Lill's hand and they jump off the cliff. They land in the water)
Lill: (To Fiore) You did it!
Fiore: I-I did? Yay!
(Back at the cliff, Beth was looking at the bottom scared)
Beth: I-I can't do it. I'm too scared. (Chris pulls out a chicken hat for Beth, To the others) I'm sorry!
Lill: (Calling out) It's all right!
(Back on land Ripper and Lindsay were looking at the scene)
Lindsay: (To Ripper) That was so lame right?
Ripper: Yeah. Plus the fact that a little kid was able to do it, proves it even more.
(Beth walks to the escalator, looking disappointed)
Scott: Welp, it looks like it's my turn. (To Sugar) I hope none of your make-up gets ruined by the water. Or by the man-eating sharks. (Runs off the cliff and jumps, leaving Sugar feeling unsure about jumping)
Confessional: Scott
Scott: My strategy is to let my team lose so the Bass develop a false sense of security. Then, once the teams merge, they'll be ripe for the picking!
Confessional ends
Chris: (Through megaphone) Okay, campers, there's only one person left. You guys need this job for the win, no pressure. (Sugar smiles in relief) Okay, there's pressure. (Her smile goes away)
(The Screaming Gophers cheer for Sugar)
Ripper: Just do it! Jump, jump, do it! Sugar, do it!
(Sugar takes a deep breath, trying to psych herself up)
Sugar: (Voice over) I'll be honest. I wasn't so sure about jumping.
Confessional: Sugar
Sugar: I really hate getting my hair wet
Confessional: Scott
Scott: I really hope she doesn't jump
Confessional: Tess
Tess: I actually thought if she jumps this, she's gonna die
Confessional ends
(Sugar takes a running start)
Chris: Take a good run at it, buddy. You can do this.
Sugar: I'm gonna frickin' die.
(The Screaming Gophers look shocked at the scene. Sugar cracks her fist. The Killer Bass watches Sugar. Sugar makes a brave look. Noah and Scott look at the scene)
Lill: Come on, Sugar!
(Sugar runs to the cliff, and does a war cry. She jumps off the cliff and screams. Chris looks amazed. Noah smiles, while Scott looks upset. But they realize they are right under Sugar. Sugar makes a big splash, making all the teams wet and somehow causing a shark to get stuck in a tree)
Sugar: Oh yeah! Who's the pageant queen? ME!
(Beth cheers)
Lill: Yes!
Chris: (Through megaphone) The winner is, the Screaming Gophers!
Ripper: That was awesome, Sugar!
Sugar: Thanks, darling
(The scene cuts to the Screaming Gophers happily singing and walking with their crates)
Screaming Gophers: Forty-nine bottles of pop on the wall, forty-nine bottles of pop. If one of those bottles should happen to fall, forty-eight bottles of pop on the wall.
(The Killer Bass are having trouble pulling their crates. Duncan kicks his crates, DJ lifts his crates, and Grett pushes the crate, but she gets a splinter)
Grett: Aw! Bloody hell! I got a splinter!
Alejandro: (Approaches her) Need some help, m'lady?
Grett: (Blushes) Uh... yeah, some help would be nice
(The two start pushing the crate together)
Screaming Gophers: Thirty-two bottles of pop on the wall, (Lindsay stops and picks up a conch shell) thirty-two bottles of pop. If one of those bottles should happen to fall. (Lindsay runs back to the others)
(Oliver is pushing a crate but soon stops)
Oliver: Whew. I've got to take a whiz.
Grett: Hurry up, we're already behind.
Katie: Oh, I have to go, too.
Wayne: You do? Well, I got to take a dump.
(Katie and Wayne follow Oliver, but they split off to the left to give him his privacy. Back with the other, Grett had a mosquito fly around her face. She smacks it on her eye)
Grett: Ow, I think something just bit me.
Screaming Gophers: If one of those bottles should happen to fall, 28 bottles of pop on the wall
Beth: Hey look, there's the campgrounds.
Ripper: That was pretty easy.
Mike: I'm pleasantly surprised.
(Back with the Killer Bass, Katie and Wayne returned to them)
Dakota: (To Katie and Wayne) You two done?
Katie: Yep!
Wayne: I had to wipe my butt with leaves.
Grett: (Holding her eye) First, ew. Second, Can we go now? I think my eye is swelling up.
(They go back to push their crates)
Wayne: Ooh, something is itching me. Are you itching too?
Katie: Totally itchy, really bad.
(We cut to the Screaming Gophers pulling the crates with their teeth)
Chris: Remember, guys, you can only use your teeth to open the crate. I came up with that one.
(Mike trying to open the crate with the rope by using his teeth, he was able to open it but accidentally gave him rope burn on his tongue)
"Mike": (Gasp) Darn kids back in my day we opened crates with our hands like decent folk.
Scott: Save the old man impression for later, Mike.
Chester: Mike? The name's Chester young man.
Lill: Stop, you two. Let's just get back to the challenge before the other team arrives or else we'll lose.
Chester: Whatever...
Confessional: Mike
Mike: Okay okay I admit it I have Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID for short. (Sighs) I try to control them but they never listen to me, I auditioned for this show to prove I'm more than just my disorder, I don't know how I'm going to tell my teammates...
Confessional ends
(We cut back to Wayne and Katie)
Wayne: Ooh, it's really itching now.
Katie: Mine feels like it's burning.
(Katie and Wayne feel their bums burn)
Wayne: Okay, I have to scratch.
(They both scratch their butts)
Chris: You guys are way behind the other team, like way behind. What's the problem?
Grett: (off-screen) Their butts are itchy.
(They look at Grett and see one of her eyes is swollen)
(Katie and Wayne continue to scratch their behinds)
Dawn: Did you guys squat down when you peed and pooped on the woods?
Katie: Yeah.
Dawn: Did you happen to notice what kind of plants you were squatting over?
Wayne: They were kind of oval-shaped and green all over the place.
Dawn: Were they low to the ground? About this big? (Katie and Wayne nod their heads) Oh, dear. You two squatted on poison ivy.
(After hearing those words, Katie and Wayne stopped scratching their butts and began to panic)
Wayne: What do we do?
Katie: Oh no!
Chris: (Laughs) No way, that's awesome! (Laughs)
(Katie and Wayne drag their bottoms to get rid of the burning, but it doesn't work)
Katie/Wayne: Somebody help us!
(Scene cuts to the Gophers looking through their supplies in their carts)
Ripper: (Pulls out wood) Yay, check it out, I got wood.
Mike: (Pulls out tools) I've got some tools here, (Pulls out a pool liner) and what looks like a pool liner?
(Scott approaches Sugar, who was looking in a box)
Scott: Hey, how are you doing?
Sugar: I'm doing alright, darling. Why?
Scott: Just curious, you did score us the win. You already did a lot of work and I don't want you to be overwhelmed.
Sugar: You're right. I shouldn't overwork myself.
Scott: Yeah, just take it easy. (Walks away)
Confessional: Scott
Scott: Hook, link, and sinker!
Confessional ends
(It cuts to the Gophers building a hot tub, just as the Killer Bass arrives, but they're missing some of their members)
Harold: Finally.
Mike: Hey, what's up, guys?
Lill: (appearing from the crate) Hey, aren't you missing a two love bird?
(Grett, Chase, and Harold look around, they don't know where the rest of their team is. Meanwhile, Wayne and Katie had their shorts pulled down and were soaking their butts on the ocean in order to get rid of the rashes)
Grett: They're getting a drink.
Harold: (Whispering to Chase) Yeah, if they drink with their butts.
Chase: (Laughs) Good one.
(Lill then sees Grett's eye, which is even worse than last time)
Lill: Ooh, what happened to your eye?
Grett: Nothing, just an allergy I think.
Chase: I think it's getting worse.
Grett: Shut up, we don't want to know that.
(The scene cuts to Alejandro standing on some boxes)
Alejandro: Alright, amigos, it's not too late we can do this.
(Grett, Harold, and Chase are seen sitting on the steps to the cabin. Harold was drooling in his sleep, while Chase was recording, again)
Chase: (To the camera) Alright, my amazing views, my team is gonna build a hot tub so we can chill the entire time at camp-
Grett: Will you stop recording and shut up!?
Chase: Ugh! You ruined my intro! Now I'm gonna have to start all over again!
Oliver: Will you shut up!
Grett: Okay, look, guys. We have a hot tub to complete and we need a project manager, I elected myself for this project. Anyone objects?
Duncan: Where do we begin, cyclops?
Grett: (Points at Duncan) Open the crates. (Points at Dawn) Dawn, go find that itchy couple. We need the help we can get.
(A montage starts with Beth and Lill hammer their hot tub, while Harold and Alejandro try lining up the wood around the circle, only for it to fall apart. Fiore handed Mike a hammer, while Oliver tried to grab the hammer from Duncan, but the two fought over it. Noah collected some water in a bucket and passed it on to Ripper, Ripper passed it to Scott, Scott passed it to Tess, and Tess poured out the water into their hot tub. A leak comes out from the Killer Bass' improperly built hot tub. Grett tapes the leak)
(It cuts to both hot tubs outside their cabins. Chris inspects the Gophers' hot tub)
Chris: This is an awesome hot tub.
(The Screaming Gophers cheer. Chris then goes over to inspect the Bass' hot tub, he taps the hot tub, but a leak comes out of the hot tub and splashes him. The Killer Bass' then hot tub collapses)
Chris: Well, I think we have a winner here. The Screaming Gophers.
(The Screaming Gophers cheer)
Chris: Gophers, you are safe from elimination. And you get to rock this awesome hot tub for the rest of the summer. Bonus!
(The Gophers cheer again)
Chris: Killer Bass, what can I say, sucks to be you right now. I'll see your sorry butts at the bonfire tonight.
(Chris then walks off)
(The scene goes to the teams in the cafeteria)
Katie: So, uh, what do we do now?
Grett: We need to decide who to kick off tonight.
Duncan: Well, I think it should be the (Points at Dakota) rich girl or (Points at DJ) the Brickhouse.
Dakota: What?! Why?
Duncan: Because you two are the only ones wearing chicken hats. And if we had to lift a truck, I like our odds with the Brickhouse.
Dakota: I messed up during this challenge, but I'll make it up with the next one! Besides, isn't there someone worse on this team?
(They all just look at her unsure... that was until Chase took out his camera)
Chase: Yo, my fans. My team tried building a hot tub and failed, badly! You should have seen it! What an epic fail, right? I mean how hard is it to build a hot tub? I can't be that hard.
(Chase fails to notice the rest of his team glaring at him)
Alejandro: I see your point.
(Cuts to nighttime at the Bonfire Ceremony)
Chris: Welcome campers to the very first bonfire ceremony! This right here is a marshmallow. In camp, it is a tasty treat that is eaten around the campfire. Here, it symbolizes survival. The right to stay in the game. When I call your name, come up and receive a marshmallow. When you receive one, you are safe. The person that does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and leave. And they can never come back. Ever. The first person safe is... Alejandro
(Alejandro got up and grabbed his marshmallow)
Chris: Grett.
Grett: Of course (She gets up and grabs her marshmallow)
Chris: Wayne and Katie.
(The couple squeed and hugged each other before running up)
Chris: DJ.
(DJ got up and grabbed his marshmallow)
Chris: Oliver and Harold.
(Harold stuck up his hand for a high five, which Oliver gladly returned. They then got up and grabbed their mashmallows)
Chris: Duncan.
(The punk smirked confidently and ate his marshmallow on his way up)
Chris: And Dawn.
(Dawn gets up and grabs her marshmallow. With everyone next to Chris, the campers all turned their attention to Dakota and Chase)
Chris: Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. The contestant who does not receive the marshmallow will be eliminated, and never allowed to return to the island again.
(Dakota and Chase looked at each other with worried expressions before turning to Chris and watching in anticipation. Chase was sweating while Dakota began biting her nails)
Chris: The final marshmallow of the night goes to...
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Dakota!
Dakota: Thank goodness!
(Dakota goes up and gets her marshmallow, while Chase just looks sad)
Chase: Aww, and I was doing so well, too...
Chris: (Walks up to Chase) Yeah, not really. You annoyed pretty much everyone here. Dock of Shame is that way, dude
(Chase got up and headed to the dock of shame)
Chris: (To the Killer Bass) The rest of you! Enjoy your marshmallows! You're all safe. For tonight.
(Chase was shown at the end of the dock as the Boat of Losers, driven by the Chef, arrived with a splutter)
Confessional: Scott
Scott: Okay, so maybe my plan didn't work this time. But it won't matter in the long run, because I'm playing to win.
Confessional ends
(The scene cuts to outside the Gopher cabin, the sounds of a party in the background. Noah, Lindsay, Lill, Fiore, and Mike were all enjoying the hot tub, and Lill raised a glass to toast)
Lill: To the Screaming Gophers!
(The four in the tub with her repeated the toast, and they all cheered)
Sugar: (Starts to dance) Yeah! Us Gophers rock!
(None of her teammates quite knew what sort of dance it was, but it didn't stop Izzy and Ripper from joining in, the three chanting "Gophers rock!" over and over again. The scene zoomed out to show Harold, Dawn, and Grett sneaking around the revelers. Grett stopped when she noticed the camera)
Grett: (To the Camera) Are you recording this? Good! They can enjoy their little party all they want. But I am gonna win this competition, and no one is gonna stop me!
Remaining Contestants:
Screaming Gophers: Noah, Sugar, Fiore, Beth, Lindsay, Mike, Izzy, Lill, Scott, Ripper, Tess
Killer Bass: Duncan, DJ, Harold, Dawn, Katie, Dakota, Oliver, Wayne, Alejandro, Grett
Elimination Order:
22nd Place: Chase
Sorry, Chase fans. Oh, wait, no I'm not, cause I FUCKING despise him, so much! Which is part of the reason I eliminated him. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the theme song. Speaking of, I can reveal the person I'm shipping Tess with, Mike. Why him out of everyone? Well, since most ships are random I have to pick two people I think would be a nice couple, either from it being a popular fanon/crack ship, or little details that pop into my mind that say, "Ship'em!" And with Mike and Tess, it's them both having mental illnesses... Is that offensive? I'm genuinely asking. If it is I'm sorry.
Also, if I may ask you can you see the cover of this story? I've been having so much trouble trying to put it on, but it keeps reverting back to my profile pic. If you know what's happening, please tell me.