As promised, here's "Evil Con Carne," the pilot of Evil Con Carne (or Genderbent Evil Con Carne in this case)! This is where Hector's (or Hectara's) journey begins, with him/her and his/her minions ready to conquer the world (albeit encountering some interference from the League of Nations). I came up with the genderbent versions of the characters myself—I'm surprised no one has ever displayed that idea on the Internet, at least to my knowledge, but feel free to contest this if you can. With all that being said, let's get started reading this chapter, and I hope you enjoy!
It was a beautiful day today—the rip currents were creeping up toward the city and its green grass, the skyscrapers stood proudly over the citizens and all the buildings who bowed (and curtsied) before them, the birds were chirping quietly in the sky, and the cars' motors were humming in almost perfect harmony with each other. The sky was very clear with a few clouds to mark this beautiful day, expressing hope for more days like this to come. However, there were dark gray clouds concentrated in one particular spot, where something sinister was about to unfold.
An island with a rock shaped like a bunny's head lay under that spot, looking upon the city that the occupants were planning to overrun. The mouth was open, ready to gobble up all it saw in its domain, and housed a temple that reminded everyone to worship the leaders of the organization that was ready to swarm from this mouth; while a satellite stuck out of the right eye like a worm from an apple, setting its sights upon domains further than the island it occupied. There was also a lookout tower to the head's left, prepared to fight back against any intruders (be they heroes looking to save the world, rival villains looking to conquer it instead of the sinister organization on the island, government officials trying to get this organization to comply with their countries' laws, or just people who encroached upon the property without permission), and the whole rocky structure was surrounded by palm trees for miles outward. Sharp craggy rocks surrounded the island, representing the hopes dashed should these aforementioned intruders come and try to find out more secrets about the place that could be used against the evil organization, and the ripples alternatively swallowed and spat out these rocks and the island to show the trouble these intruders were about to get into. This was Bunny Island, the home base of Evil Con Carne, an organization led by the malevolent supervillain (and former playgirl) Hectara Con Carne, who aimed to take over the world at any cost (and find the rest of her body that was lost in an explosion she had been presumed dead in for some time).
Hectara was standing in a large room with her underlings, preparing to make a speech to the world leaders to get them to hand control of the planet to her. Her brain (which had been genetically modified to have black bead eyes and thick black eyebrows and to be able to say its thoughts out loud) stood atop the head of a former circus bear named Boskova, who had purple fur, wore a big white dress shirt (which had been cut away except its collar and cuffs with black buttons) and an elegant black bow tie, and had Hectara's stomach attached to hers. Standing in front of her were Hectara's lead mad scientist, Major Dr. Anhedonio J. Ghastly, a tall man with short red hair who was in charge of building the various gadgets for Evil Con Carne; and her pet Chihuahua Enriqueta Jr., who was always ready to prove her owner wrong when Hectara claimed she had no talent; while the others were eager to see how their boss's speech went. Boskova held a camera up to where Hectara's brain was, showing the world their new future ruler whose evil knew few bounds.
"Attention, League of Nations," Hectara began as the camera's vision was transmitted directly to their screens, "you will lower your defenses and turn control of the planet over to me, Hectara Con Carne." Boskova moved the camera toward her mouth and began to sniff, smelling something delicious that she really wanted to eat (when Hectara would allow her to, anyway). "If you do not comply by six o'clock, this..." Hectara continued, but the camera turned again to see Ghastly, Enriqueta Jr., and two more henchmen (Hectara's paramilitary commander General Regina Skarr, who had a noticeable scar on her blind left eye, and one of the many soldiers under their command; both of whom wore uniforms with blue shirts and hats and black belts, pants, and boots) standing in the view. "Hey!" Hectara yelled furiously, desiring to continue her speech. "Point the camera at me, you doo-doo! ME!"
At their headquarters; the League of Nations members were seated in their chairs; watching this floundering threat (it was pretty powerful, but the focus was fluctuating) as the camera's view turned to Boskova's free hand, then to her mouth again, and finally toward her butt. They began shrugging and muttering amongst themselves, questioning its power, with one of them asking, "What control of the world?"
Back on the other side, Hectara continued issuing her ultimatum. "Ahem," she began again once Boskova turned the camera toward her brain. "Yes. So...turn over control of the planet to me, or I will be forced to use my Doomsday Device!" Boskova turned the camera toward this device; which looked like a huge red gun with a satellite pointing the opposite way of the barrel, housed a missile sticking out of this barrel, was powered by blue electricity riding up two pylons, and stood atop gold-colored gear machinery; on her command. "With this, I can reduce your cities to smoking rubble," Hectara continued as Boskova zoomed in toward the device, and then the camera's view went back to her brain. "You have six hours to meet my demands." Then suddenly the camera went out.
Hectara had delivered a pretty powerful speech, but she was not pleased with it, and especially with how Boskova had handled the camera. "Oh, that was horrible!" she yelled, her brain flailing around in its container. "Bad Boskova! Bad bear!" she continued, smashing the bear's spirit and making her look down at the ground, and shocking Major Dr. Ghastly. "These days I wish my real body hadn't exploded!" she finished as Boskova scratched the back of her neck, both of them very stressed out by the experience.
Just then, General Skarr noticed something on the screen where she was standing. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, sir," she began, turning toward Hectara and showing her a green military helicopter flying in the sky toward the lair, "but the League of Nations has sent a team of crack commandos to stop us." Her expression became determined as she thought about how to stop this new threat.
"Commandos?!" Hectara said in shock, her brain perking up in alarm as Boskova stared off into space. "How can we stop them from kicking our butts, General Skarr?"
"Hmmm..." General Skarr thought, rubbing her hand on her chin and trying to find a good solution. "Cover our butts with our hands, sir?" she joked, putting her hand behind her back with her other touching her butt.
"Hmmm..." Hectara replied, thinking it over, as Boskova scratched her nose. After a few seconds, she rejected that possibility. "Major Dr. Ghastly!" she shouted at Ghastly, turning her brain towards him. "Suggestions?"
"Well, Chief," he began, scratching his chin and looking at his boss through his black-lenses goggles that made his eyes appear blue. "The best thing to do in these situations is to..." He got an idea. "Listen to your gut!" he shouted, pointing his left index finger upward.
Hearing this, the stomach, aptly named Stomach, growled silently, crestfallen at not having eaten all day. "I'm hungry," it said, Boskova looking down and empathizing with it, as she also hadn't had any food since she and Hectara had woken up.
"Ooooh!" Hectara said, hungry for power, as she turned her brain toward the device in full rage mode. "Boskova, quickly!" she ordered, her impatience growing by the minute. "Activate the Doomsday Device!" But Boskova's desire for food made her boss's words go in one of her ears and out the other, as her eyes widened, her mouth hung open with a huge smile and her tongue sticking out, and she started running on all fours toward the room across the hall from them. "No, wait, the Doomsday Device is the other way!" Hectara said, trying to redirect the bear toward their means to stop the League of Nations, but Boskova kept running toward the room toward a beehive to get some honey. "No, there is no time for that!" Hectara continued, as the bear stopped, licked her lips, and took the hive off of the hook. Frustrated at the bear's disobedience of her commands for some honey, Hectara yelled at her, "No, Boskova! I command you!"
Skarr looked at her boss, worried about something she had seen on the screen where she was standing. "Sir, I..." she began, but she was interrupted. The wall behind her was blown up, sending her and two of Evil Con Carne's soldiers flying in different directions.
A group of muscular brown-haired women in military uniforms; which consisted of olive green jackets with rolled-up sleeves and two chevrons on each sleeve, matching green pants and helmets, white athletic bras, and black belts and boots; ran through the smoke; ready to follow the League of Nations' command to stop Evil Con Carne from capsizing the world under their control. They boldly made their way inside the building, unafraid of the soldiers employed by the evil organization they were about to take down, since they were much shorter and probably less powerful anyway. Their leader stopped, briefly observing the situation, and then giving the rest of her squad the all-clear to go ahead with a loud "All right, commandos...let's...ROCK!" The rest of them ran further into the buliding in a single-file line at the last word, ready to use everything at their and the League of Nations' disposal to finally bring the occupants of Bunny Island down to their knees. The battle to protect (and take out) the Doomsday Device was on!
One of the commandos cornered one of Evil Con Carne's soldiers against a wall, kicking her in the head with her boot, while another commando punched another evil soldier twice in the face, sending her flying across the room.
Meanwhile, in the room with the honey, Boskova was still eating her honey while Hectara was still trying to get her out of the room, the latter desperately giving orders to her soldiers. "AAAHHHH!" she screamed, looking at the commandos approaching her precious Doomsday Device. "GUARDS!" she ordered. "Protect the Doomsday Device!"
But the soldiers of Evil Con Carne knew it would be a daunting task to do, especially with the commandos' strength compared to their own frames, as one of them was sent flying through a screen in the same room as Hectara and Boskova. Two more looked through the doors leading to the weapon, too freaked out to do anything as two other commandos started destroying the device (one jumping up and down on top of it and the other hitting it repeatedly with a huge slab of cement). "¡Ay caramba!" Hectara yelled sadly as she watched her meticulous plans go up in flames, one of the commandos repeatedly punching something on the wall, another hitting one of the Evil Con Carne soldiers in the head with a chair several times, a third breaking one of the control panels with a baseball bat, and a fourth throwing another soldier to the floor so hard it made a hole surrounded by huge cracks in the cement.
The commandos' leader approached Hectara and Boskova (who was still blissfully munching away at her honey) and pulled back her fist, prepared to end the world domination plans of the evil mastermind once and for all. She punched a hole through the container resting atop the bear's head, pulled out the brain (breaking the spinal cord in the process), held it in both her hands like a tasty sandwich, opened her mouth, and began chewing on it for a few seconds (afearing Hectara for her life all the while) before her watch started beeping. When this happened, she spit the brain out across the room (where it landed a few feet in front of Boskova's feet), and glanced at her watch, which read 12:00 in black digits. "LUNCH BREAK!" she yelled at her fellow commandos, prompting all of them to run out of the hole they had made in their infiltration.
"Oooohhhh...can't feel...my legs..." Hectara said as this happened, one of the commando leaders' teeth still sticking out of her brain, as it struggled to stand.
When the battle was over (well, the first part), the interior of Bunny Island was in a state of severe disrepair. The soldiers were heavily injured (one even needing a crutch for her left leg), the walls were busted, the big globe was cracked, the control panels were demolished, electrical cords were sparking, a few fires were blazing in the room with the globe, and there were a few holes in the floor that people could easily fall through. Skarr poked her head above one of the tables (which was knocked over in all the commotion), looking at Ghastly (who was sadly looking at the room fall apart all around him) carrying Enriqueta Jr. through the rubble, but a huge chunk of the ceiling fell on top of her and seemingly crushed her.
Boskova had eaten nearly all the honey in the hive in the other room, but she was still hungry. She shook the hive up and down, hoping to get as much as possible out of the structure, as the bees flew around her. She looked inside the hive, eyeing the last bit, turning it at different angles and pondering about how to extract it from where it was. "Can I have some honey, too?" Stomach asked, also growling for its fill after Hectara's speech.
Hectara, meanwhile, was fuming at both of them. "Aaaargh...that is it!" she yelled, forming the end of her spinal cord into the shape of a fist as she stood her brain as upright as she could. She crawled toward Boskova like a worm as the bear put the hive on her head like a hat, fed up with the bear not obeying her commands to the letter. "You good-for-nothing waste of fat!" she furiously shouted at the bear, pointing the end of her spinal cord at the latter like a hand as Boskova gulped and recoiled in terror. "You're FIRED!" Boskova looked away to her right, her teeth chattering at these two words.
Major Dr. Ghastly gasped at his boss's behavior, covering his mouth with his hands. "But, chief!" he protested, holding his hands out. "You can't fire your own body!"
"Boskova is not my body!" Hectara fired back at him as Boskova began to cry. "She's just a big, stupid animal that you stuck me to!" She turned to her lead mad scientist. "Major Doctor," she continued, "I order you to construct for me a new body, a body with which I will dominate the world!"
At her last word, a few flashes of lightning ignited outside Bunny Island, echoing throughout the structure and beyond.
About 50 minutes later, Hectara's brain container (which General Skarr held in her hands) had been repaired, the soldiers were still badly bruised (some with broken bones), and Major Dr. Ghastly was looking at a machine with closed doors, awaiting the completion of his boss's new body. He put his hand on a knob, starting to turn it clockwise, when Hectara piped up from inside the container. "Major Dr. Ghastly!" she shouted, anxiously waiting for the opportunity to show up the League of Nations when their crack commandos returned. "Is my body ready yet?"
"Oh," Ghastly said in response, still mentally reeling from Hectara's harsh words toward the former circus bear. "Boskova's not completely useless, Chief," he argued back, turning towards his boss. "I think she deserves another chance." He smiled, hoping to get Hectara to accept her ursine carrier again.
At his word, Boskova climbed up a structure standing in front of a door, briefly struggling to keep her balance as she stood on her two hind legs. "Ready, Boskova?" Major Dr. Ghastly asked excitedly, clapping his hands. Hectara and Skarr were unamused, but Ghastly didn't seem to care. "You'll love this, Chief," he continued, looking back at the brain in the container and then turning his attention back to Boskova. "All right, Boskova, do your trick!" he coaxed, clapping his hands and jumping up and down. "Come on, do your trick, Boskova! Oh, come on. Do it for Daddy!" Ghastly elatedly put his hands on her cheeks, making noises like a baby trying to speak coherently. "Yes," he continued, thinking of how to impress Hectara and get Boskova back on her good side as the bear looked in another direction. The mad scientist ran to the cabinets, looking through the smelly drawers which hadn't been sanitized or had their contents sorted for many months, and then catching a whiff of exactly what he needed: a piece of bacon. He pulled it out of the drawers, returned to where Skarr and Hectara were standing, and then looked back at the bear. "Oh!" he encouraged, waving the bacon up and down at Boskova. "Would you do it for a piece of bacon?"
Boskova got excited, a grin cracking across her face and her appetite awakening again. She looked longingly at the meat, saliva building up in her mouth, and started mentally preparing herself to do a trick she'd done in her former circus. "Bacon is a tasty snack," Stomach said, also prepared to get enough food to hold her for at least until the commandos' attack was finished.
"Do your trick, Boskova!" Major Dr. Ghastly said happily, still waving the bacon at the bear. "DO IT FOR THE BACON!"
In response, Boskova pulled out a red unicycle and boarded it, pedaling across the beam that connected the structure to another on the left, the tire and pedals squeaking all the while. She briefly lost her balance in the middle, the tiny miners in her heart attempting to excavate the structure for any gold they could find and unearthing several microscopic butterflies in the process, but she continued pedaling, persevering to reach the other structure. When she got there, she looked at the bacon in Major Dr. Ghastly's hand, ready to get her long-awaited snack and recognition for her contributions to Hectara's work. "Good girl!" he shouted, throwing the bacon toward her, which she caught with her mouth. But just as she caught it, she lost her balance on the beam, plummeting to the floor and landing on her back with a big crash.
"Stop wasting my TIME!" Hectara yelled, furious at this performance. "I am never going to need to unicycle across a tightrope!" Boskova crawled toward her, the bacon sticking out of her mouth, worried about her boss's next words. She looked at the brain nervously, terrified of what might happen to her tenure, the brain signals enticing which also released toxins that staled the fatty bacon strip. "The only thing I need to do is RULE! THE! WORLD!" Hectara contined, her brain hitting the glass as she punctuated her last three words.
"Yes, sir," Major Dr. Ghastly replied dejectedly, his attempts to help Boskova seemingly ending up in vain. He walked over to the machine where he had been standing, ready to give his boss her new body, and pulled a lever that activated a mechanism in the opaque metal tube to its right.
The covering began to lift up with a mechanical whir, keeping everyone in anticipation like a magician preparing to reveal their next magic trick to their audience, and slowly revealed two robotic legs underneath.
"Oh...it's beautiful..." Hectara said, her brain's eyes growing wide with joy at the sight of having an unbeatable body as the rest of the body was revealed.
"This is the B1000 Full Body Replacement System," Ghsatly began, showing his boss her new blue and orange robotic body in all its glory—magnetic feet, right fist of silver titanium, built-in plasma cannon on the left hand, "muscular" torso, neck stub, and even two rockets in its butt—as everyone stared at it, Boskova included. "It features enhanced strength, titanium armor, plasma cannons, a rear-mounted rocket array, and side airbags."
While they were staring, Skarr stepped forward, and Boskova put her nose against Hectara's container, blocking her view. "What are you looking at?" the leader of Evil Con Carne said, furious at the bear's presence. "You're fired!" Boskova began bawling her eyes out, utterly destroyed inside, but Hectara didn't care, and wanted to try her new body out as soon as possible. "Shoo!" she commanded, looking at the bear with fire in her eyes. "I never want to see you again!" Boskova ran away wailing, making a hole in the wall and shocking everyone in the process.
"Poor Boskova," Major Dr. Ghastly said sympathetically as his colleagues stood there frustrated and eager to get their plan back on track, but suddenly they were interrupted.
The alarm went off, signaling another attack to come.
General Skarr walked over to the system, still holding Hectara's brain in her hands, and looked at the screen, which read "DANGER!" in green letters and "PELIGRO!" in identical green letters below that. As soon as she reached it, it changed to a picture of the commandos' helicopter in green outlines, with the text "commando alert bla bla bla" written above it. "Those accursed commandos are back from their lunch break," she said, looking back at Major Dr. Ghastly and the injured soldiers.
Incensed at this, Hectara saw her chance for revenge, tiny veins of fury rapidly swelling in her head. "Let them come," she commanded. "I think they're in for a little surprise." She laughed evilly as more thunder and lightning rose above Bunny Island, signifying the dramatic showdown between good and evil (or, in this case, evil and good), and determining the most intense turning point of their war that had yet to be recorded in historical accounts.
Just as General Skarr had said, these commandos were back for the second part of their battle with the malevolent Hectara Con Carne and her organization of evil. They blew another hole in a different part of the wall, entering the room the same way they'd come in the first time, and stopped when they were all inside. They began looking for their opponent again, trying to find any sign of her brain or stomach, the leader rubbing her helmet. While they were searching, several orange lights came on in the darkness, the smell of freshly fashioned metal and a whirring sounding similar to a train's whistle ganging up on them, signaling the beginning of the latest battle between Evil Con Carne and the League of Nations. "Looking for me?" said a voice in the darkness, piercing their concentration.
It was Hectara Con Carne, the organization's leader, with her brain perched atop the B1000 Full-Body Replacement System. She had her eyes blazing with determination (in a similar orange to the lights), her weapons all primed and inspected (including the rear-mounted rocket array), her metallic parts all new and shiny, and (most importantly) her mind set on world domination at any cost. The commando leader looked at her with a mix of shock, fear, terror, and confusion; trying to think of a plan on how she and her squad could defeat their newly powered opponent in their rematch; when suddenly...
"It's the brain!" shouted another commando, who was standing to the right of the hole, pointing at Hectara in all her and her new body's glory. "GET HER!"
With these three words, the battle was on.
One of the commandos tried charging at Hectara from up front, but the villain stopped her with a left overhand punch, knocking her out hard. Another tried attacking the left arm, but she was disposed of just as easily with a spin move that knocked her back several feet. Getting a huge surge of pride in her new fighting abilities, Hectara took one step forward, but a third commando advanced upon her, hoping to take the bodiless villain by surprise. However, Hectara sensed this and dodged the commando's punch, returning fire with a right upper kick. Almost immediately after, a fourth commando charged with double overhead fists, but Hectara grabbed her before she could land this attack and threw her backwards into one of the control panels. Finally, a fifth commando approached, expecting this sort of thing to happen to her as well, but Hectara took the former by surprise by grabbing her right nipple with the robot's right hand. "What the...?" the commando said, shocked, as the cerebral evildoer spun her hand around like a drill and twisted the nipple dozens of times, sending the commando spinning at a dizzying speed. Hectara eventually released her, sending her flying toward one of the walls, screaming loudly, and creating a huge hole in it.
Hectara smiled triumphantly at her performance (well, not exactly, since she didn't have a mouth, but close enough). "This is like shooting monkeys in a barrel!" she chuckled, activating the plasma cannon in her left hand. She fired at several of the commandos, creating multiple holes in the wall, and hitting one or two in the face (one landing near Ghastly and Skarr). She continued firing, walking up and down one of the doorways with her magnetic feet, and delivered painful hits to two more commandos (one in the belly and the other in the head), creating a hole in the floor in the process. When that was done, she jumped back on the ground, having apparently secured her victory, but the commandos weren't done yet. Their leader snuck upon her, hoping to succeed where one of her subordinates had failed, but Hectara dodged that surprise as well. She raised her right fist, hitting the commando in the face, and sent the latter slowly falling to a painful knockout.
"Let's get out of here!" another commando yelled in terror, leading everyone out the hole they had made. "Retreat!" They all recovered from their brutal beatdown, running for their helicopter.
But Hectara wasn't done with them yet. She really wanted to test out those rear-mounted rockets, and she wanted to make certain the commandos couldn't threaten her or her organization ever again. "No one retreats from Hectara Con Carne!" she yelled at the desperately evacuating squad, turning around and aiming her butt at them. She laughed maniacally as she prepared the two miniature weapons for launch, ready for some fire-farting action.
"No, chief!" Major Dr. Ghastly protested, fearfully seeing the scale of damage his boss was about to with the attack he had planned to be used when all else had been worn down. "Not the rockets!" He shook his hands in desperation, trying to get Hectara to abort the process, but it was too late. Hectara had already made up her mind, and she was going to secure her victory, no matter the cost.
She fired the rockets at the commandos and their vehicle, hoping to stop any future attempts by the League of Nations to send them in to do this dangerous job, but instead of a nicely secured victory, what she got was a disastrous boom.
Boskova, who was sitting on a stone eagle head and still bawling her eyes out at having been fired, was the first to notice this explosion, her sad thoughts being interrupted at the structure being torn apart in the distance. She looked at this, horrified at what might happen to her employer despite the latter's abuse, and tried to fight back her tears, but she eventually lost the battle and continued sobbing as the commandos' helicopter continued flying back toward their homebase.
Meanwhile, Hectara's brain and the B1000 Full-Body Replacement System were hanging from one of the exposed wires, futilely struggling to get their owner back up again. "Help! Help!" she yelled, waving her feet as she dangled for her life.
"Chief!" Major Dr. Ghastly responded, getting on his hands and knees to look at the ground below his employer.
Boskova was still crying, both about being fired and the horrific damage that Hectara would soon suffer, thinking about how she would live her life now that her job and employer were gone (or, in the latter's case, soon to be gone). A few moments of sadness, fear, and terror gripped her heart while this was happening; threatening to spiral her mind out of control; when suddenly Hectara's screams broke her thoughts again. "HELP ME!" the cerebral/robotic villain yelled again, more terrified than before. Knowing she had to act fast, the bear stood up and mounted her unicycle, navigating the extremely challenging and damaged landscape to reach her destination.
"Help me!" Hectara yelled again, more desperate than ever to get back to resume her plans of world domination.
"Oh, just pull yourself up, you big baby!" Skarr retorted, aggressively waving her hand at her employer.
"I can't!" Hectara responded, struggling to get herself back up on the wire before she gave up. "This body is too heavy!" The weight of the body caused the wire to slowly tear apart where it was connected to one of the rocks, in turn pulling the weight further downward. "Aahhh!" she screamed, foreseeing the gruesome explosion that was almost inevitable for her down below. "I'm slipping!" She hung on with only her right pinky finger, which was slowly sliding down the wire, and began closing her left eye in anticipation at what would happen once she was no longer around to keep Evil Con Carne running with her brain.
But just as she was about to start meeting her doom, help arrived. Boskova broke through the wall on her unicycle without much effort or resistance from the structure, her heart beating faster and harder than an Olympic runner's footsteps, and looked down at her boss's brain. Using the focus she had developed when she was training before every show her former circus put on, she approached the line with determination, thinking of all the bacon she and Stomach would be able to eat when they were done with their mission (and seeing the bottom of the brain's container as more strips of bacon), and balancing on the wire without her focus or her balance wavering. Just before she reached the falling body, she stopped and leaned down, grabbing the container with her left front claws and unscrewing it from its place on the body's neck. "Boskova!" Hectara burst out, surprised at her ursine carrier's return after all the mistreatment she had suffered at Hectara's hands (even if she didn't have any actual human hands at the moment).
When this was done, Boskova held the brain container in both of her hands, turning her unicycle around as the B1000 Full Body Replacement System fell onto the ground below. She quickly pedaled back without holding the handlebars, elated at having finally gotten some acknowledgement from her employer. "Boskova, you rescued me!" Hectara said, happy to live to conquer another day. "Oh, after all the terrible things I did to you..." she continued as Boskova put the brain back on top of her head, Boskova's huge excited toothy grin replaced by a relaxed one with a closed mouth and her tongue sticking out. "I've been a pretty bad guy."
"We're all the bad guys, sir," Skarr pointed out, standing next to Ghastly with her hands behind her back.
"Yes," Hectara acknowledged, "but I owe Boskova my life. I shall no longer be bad to my..." She stopped for a moment, trying to think of the right word to address her minions by that didn't sound demeaning. "Friends." Then, looking up at the sky from Boskova's head as if saluting the American flag during the Pledge of Allegiance, she solemnly closed her eyes and continued, "I pledge never to yell at you again. Now, let's go dominate the world...together."
But that pledge would very soon be short-lived, as Boskova got so excited she waved her hands in the air and sped through the doorway in front of all four of them, too wrapped up in her happiness to notice that the doorway was too tall for Hectara to fit through on the unicycle. "Ow!" Hectara yelled as she felt the impact. "¡Estúpido bear! If I had hands, I'd STRANGLE you!" she threatened, exuding heavy venom with every word (each one more so than the last), but Boskova didn't seem to care as she continued exhuberantly pedaling through the destroyed parts of Bunny Island. "Ouch! Oh!" Hectara yelled as she hit the top of another arch, the anguish slowly replaced by gloom. "I think I'm getting a concussion..."
And that was the end of one of many battles fought by Evil Con Carne and the League of Nations, with the former winning thanks to a certain unicycle (as much as Hectara wouldn't want to admit it, that was still the case). She was ready to get back to her world conquest plans as soon as Bunny Island was repaired and upgraded, thinking of all the fun she'd have fighting her opponents (whether they be more League of Nations commandos, rival villains, or otherwise) when their full power could be on display for all to see and cower in terror. For now, it was time to celebrate their victory and maybe go out for a special treat, making sure to get Boskova lots of honey and plenty of bacon. After all, Boskova wasn't completely useless, and she definitely wasn't that "good-for-nothing waste of fat" Hectara would call her on a regular basis, and her circus tricks could always come in handy in whatever situations would come up. Plus, who knew unicycling on a tightrope would be necessary for world domination?
The next chapter, "Skeletons in the Water Closet," which is based on the second Grim Adventures clip, should be up within the next 4-8 weeks. Like I might've said before on "Operation: N.O.-P.O.W.U.H." over at Codename: Genderbent Kids Next Door – Series 1, it's because I'm slowing down my posting schedule for the stories I'm writing to make it more manageable. With that being said, be on the lookout! DarkbloodFrancine34 out until then!