Well at least I was quicker with this one :)

So I've started working on my own stories again and this one got put on the back burner a little bit and I apologize for that. I do still hope to finish it but I am having a dilemma regarding one of the plots I had previously planned out that woudl bring in a new character, who is the catalyst eventually for Wanda and Ian. I am not sure if I want to leave it in or not... If I took it out it would make this a couple of chapters shorter which may mean quicker updates but a shorter story... like I said, a dilemma, but I am sure I will get past it.

Anyways, hope you enjoy & thank you to all the reviewers and I hope to hear from you again

Ch 16

I stared at Jeb not knowing what to say. I couldn't argue his logic, the food was more important than where I lay my head, but I also knew I couldn't go back to our room.

"Now don't look at me like that Wanda." He said in response to my silence. "I know what you're fixin' to do.." He glanced at Jamie out of the corner of his eye, who was paying us no attention with the food to distract him. "and as much as I may disagree with you, it's your decision to make and I will make sure no one says anything to Ian that you don't want them too."

My mouth opened to thank him but his raised a finger to stop me and I snapped it closed.

"This does not mean that you get to shrink away from this community or from your duties to it, which includes getting proper rest in a proper room." Jeb crossed his arms over his chest. "And I won't be budging on that one bit, little lady."

I knew he was right. I had neglected my duties here for the past several days, although to be honest with myself I hadn't much thought of it while I watched over Ian as he slept in Doc's office. There wasn't much I was allowed to do, but I knew that every little bit helped around here.

Once they had finished unloading the supplies I took the opportunity to get back to work but offering to take some of the fresh food to the kitchen to start breakfast, figuring it was early enough that chances would be slim that I would run into anyone. Burns of course offered to help me and I took him up on it hoping to get an explanation on the way through the caves.

Unfortunately our scuffle with the other humans had not gone unnoticed and when Burns had gone into town for supplies for his community he was told by many souls he came into contact with about the situation, advising him to be careful and that it was dangerous to be travelling alone – even at his size. Deciding to get more information Burns asked a patrolling Seeker (this had been implemented in the direct vicinity since the incident) what had happened. "It turns out that the human men had been caught that night, hiding in the woods just outside of town." He explained in a whisper as we tried not to wake anyone.

I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart started racing and I thought about how I could convince Ian to trust me enough to leave these caves before the Seekers came for all of us. Those men knew too much about us and I was not about to allow my family to be caught and eventually discarded. The thought actually made my stomach churn.

Burns saw my expression and shook his head adamantly. "You don't need to fret Wanderer. They put up such a fight during their capture that they were all killed before a Seeker could be implanted for information."

I felt bad for the relief I felt over the news of their violent death, but Melanie would have told me it was for the greater good and that they didn't deserve my grief. I did take a moment to acknowledge to myself that they may never have gotten to the savage nature that they had if we had never come to this planet.

After Burns had received all the information from the Seeker he had a feeling that we may have been involved and when he took the back way around some of the larger stores his suspicions were quickly confirmed by the sighting of our van still parked there. He also had the foresight to realize that we had left it at a general store and knowing that we would have ended with the perishable foods from the market, he took the initiative to make the stop there for us.

"I drove the rest of the evening and night to drop off the food to my community and then got here as quick as I could." He said. "I was relieved to hear that you were unharmed but I am sorry to hear that Ian was. Has he recovered from his injuries? I assume so if you are not by his side."

I guess in the rush to get everything in the cave before sunrise Jared hadn't been able to tell Burns everything – or maybe he left this for me to do on purpose. This was not the time and place to open that wound right now so I just answered his question vaguely. "Yes he is recovering nicely with the help of Doc and our medicines."

Burns smile lit up his face as he looked down at me and I tried my best to reflect one back, focusing on the fact that Ian was indeed healing nicely. "I'm glad Wanderer. You must be very relieved."

I was surprised to see Lucina in the kitchen when we got there, she explained that having young ones made it next to impossible to sleep in past sunrise and pointed to Freedom sitting in the corner playing with one of the toys we had brought back for him. When he saw me he crawled over and wrapped his chubby arms around my legs and that made me genuinely giggle for the first time in days.

Burns went back to get another large box with fresh fruit while I helped Lucina in the kitchen, which mostly involved keeping Freedom distracted and out of the way. It wasn't long before I could hear the room filling with voices and I tried my best to keep myself hidden behind a rock wall where I played with Freedom. I wanted to ensure I did my part of the workload but I was still weary about being around everyone. He was a good distraction, drabbling on in his own little language, until a heard a voice enter the room that had my spine tingling.

"Are you sure you should be walking around little bro?"

"Doc said as long as I took it easy I didn't have to stay in the hospital," Ian said, his voice strained as if he was trying to hide the pain I was sure he still felt. "I'll just sit here, taking it easy, while you go get me some breakfast."

"Well at least your injuries haven't affected your sense of humour." Kyle said with a chuckle. I knew I should be happy to hear them bantering like old times but it just left me with an empty feeling and confirmed what I doing was right. Ian could go back to the way thing were before, he could be happy. I knew he had been told about Wes and Walter, though Jared made a point to ensure that my involvement in both were not mentioned. He took it pretty well, but Doc thought the no pain was assisting with that in some capacity.

I listened as Lucina filled two plates for Kyle and looked back at where she stood once I knew he had gone back to their table. She was looking at me with her head tilted to the side her heavy eyes questioning. Since being placed in Pet's body Ian and I had been practically inseparable and here I sat hiding in a corner while he ate breakfast with his brother completely unaware. She didn't ask me why, just turned back to serve the next person in line. It wasn't until I heard Burns' voice that my spine stiffened. I had forgotten he was coming back.

"Hello Ian," Burns greeted him. "I'm glad to see you are up and about." After our experience at the hospital Burns and Ian had gotten to know one another and even began a friendship, of course Burns had no idea that I had told Ian about what had happened or the fact that he now had no memory of it or the fact that he was friends with souls.

I sprung to my feet too late, rounding the corner of the wall to see Ian's look of shock.

"What the hell Kyle!" He boomed. "How many of them are there?"

Jared stepped in, taking the box of food from Burns with an apologetic look. "Burns brought us the food we were unable to get on our last raid. He lives with another community nearby." He explained. "He's our friend."

"What the happened to all of you?"

"Wanda happened." Melanie said from the doorway. I hadn't noticed her come in, but it shouldn't have been a surprise considering Jared was here.

Ian's head spun in my direction. He stared at me like I was a puzzle he couldn't figure out. I could feel the blush rushing to my cheeks under his glare. Everyone in the room had stopped eating and were now watching the scene unfold infront of them.

Wanting to get out of there quickly I grabbed Burns by the arm and directed him out of the room. We could eat later. I walked until I felt we were far enough from the kitchen then turned us in the direction of the corn field. It was a good place to hide – which I knew from experience. I fell to the ground between the husks, Burns following suit.

"What happened in there? Ian acted like we had never met before… and the way he looked at you…"

I put my head in my hands and took in a deep breath. We sat there talking until I could almost see the sun in the hole in the roof above us. I told him everything that had happened since our run in with the other humans. I realized as I told him this he was one of the few people who may actually understand my reasoning for what I was doing. Once I was done he promised to stay in our community to be there for me as long as I needed, as he had promised me before – he would always be there for me.

Over the next week I somehow managed to avoid being around Ian directly, ensuring my chores kept me hidden and eating on the other side of the room with Burns and Sunny (who was unable to be around Kyle as much due to her discomfort with Ian's behaviour when he first woke up – which I had not specifically told Burns about) while insisting that Melanie, Jared and Jamie sat with Kyle and Ian. Doc had thought that makng things as normal as possible would aid in his recovery.

Most of them had been busy working the fields which was something I would have been unable to help with anyways, so it was easy for me to disappear to do dishes or laundry in the dark bathing room. Burns had kept me company every day since I had told him the truth about Ian. Without him I don't know if I would have survived those days, the aching to be with Ian never subsiding, feeling of the growing distance overwhelming. Burns helped distract me; telling me stories from the Fire Planet or his time as a bear, even describing his community and its bat cave.

We finished laying out the clean laundry to dry one afternoon when Jamie came running down the hall. He skidded to a stop when he saw me there. He was out of breath and bouncing on the spot. "Hey Wanda, Burns! We're having a soccer game now! Everyone's there so I came to find the two of you."

Everyone meant Ian would be there. "I think I will sit this one out Jamie." I said. He looked down, deflated.

When he looked back at me I knew I was in trouble. The puppy dog eyes were in place. "I know things have been hard on you lately Wanda. I understand that." He pleaded. "But I think that if you just try this you might see that you are still part of our family… I miss you… so please come play soccer with us."

He said the one thing I had been trying not to admit – that by me doing what was in Ian's best interest, I was hurting the other people I cared about and that cared about me. I felt like I was always destined to be hurting someone I loved.

I smiled at Jamie, caving in to him. "Okay. If you insist." Jamie took my hand in his – which seemed to be getting bigger everyday – and dragged me down the corridor, Burns at our heels.

When we got to the room I could see Jamie had not been exaggerating, everyone was here, even Isaiah and Freedom were in one corner kicking around a softer ball. They had already begun choosing teams, Kyle and Jared taking the captain roles. Jared called out Burns' name as soon as we entered the room. Kyle cursed. He looked at me before going to stand with Jared, looking for approval. I smiled at him and nudged him forward. A few people more were called and when it was Kyle's turn his eyes stopped on me, but I shook my head quickly. I could only imagine Ian's face if I ended up on his team.

The game was going well, Jared and Burns made a good team and combined with Mel they were a force equal to Kyle and Ian. To be fair, Ian had only recently been okayed by Doc for physical work and activities – the soul medication helped greatly to shorten his recovery time. Ian and Kyle were making a move towards our end of the 'field' directly into my path. I knew I would never be able to actually stop them so I quickly moved out of Jared's way so he could get block their way, tripping over my own feet at the same time and slamming onto my knees.

Instantly I could feel the burning pain in my knees and I knew there would be damage. A strong hand gripped my upper arm and pulled me to my feet. I turned awkwardly - the pain in my legs intense - to thank Jared but was shocked to see Ian looking down at me. As my eyes met his sapphire ones, something seemed to click behind his and he quickly dropped my arm, stepping back a few paces so Doc could check me. Candy followed behind him, carrying the bag of medicine we kept on the sidelines for injuries like this. I didn't pay any attention to what they were doing. I could only stand there and stare at Ian's face, a look of horror and confusion written clearly across it.

Once Doc had cleaned my wounds, leaving some blood on my pants as the only evidence, he declared I was good to continue. All I could picture was the look on Ian's face, who now had his back to me down the field with a separate group of people, so I decided to sit the rest of the game out. "Maybe I'll go play with Isaiah and Freedom instead." I suggested trying to lighten the gloomy mood I had now created. Jeb gave me a pat on the shoulder, called me a trooper (whatever that was) and got everyone back into the game as I went to sit near the boys.

The game ended, the victory going once again the Kyle and Ian. Burns came over to me, assisting me off the ground, examining my knees one more time. Most people had left as soon as the game was over, leaving only a few of them celebrating their victory, mostly Kyle gloating to anyone who would listen. I watched them as we walked to perimeter of the room towards the exit. Kyle pulled Ian into a headlock but let go quickly as Ian yelled out in pain. I stopped dead in my tracks, fighting the urge to run to him. Kyle looked scared – the same look he had in the parking lot that day.

Ian was hunched over, holding his head in his hands. I could see Kyle tentatively reach toward him, placing his hand on his back, his lips moving but too far away for me to hear what he was saying. Suddenly Ian straightened up, kicking one of his legs out to the side, sweeping Kyle's legs out from under him and sending him crashing to the ground.

The most beautiful sound filled the room as Ian laughed full-heartedly standing over his brother splayed on the ground. This caused the strangest reaction in me. I could feel the happiness wash over me at the sound of his laughter but at the same time I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I didn't know a human could feel two opposite emotions at the same time and I had no idea how to deal with them.

I moved as quickly as my legs would carry me out of the room and headed straight to the hospital, where Burns and I had been living. I tried focusing on something mundane to distract me from the conflicting feelings I was having, so I set out to get clean pants. It seemed like a stupid thing to be focused on but it was something. I could hear Burns' footsteps behind me, but he was otherwise silent.

I got to the room and went to the small pile of clothes on my cot, pulling out a worn pair of jeans. I clutched them in my hand and dropped to the cot. The cot across from me squeaked as Burns lowered himself onto it. He reached forward taking the jeans, placing them beside me before taking my hands in his – much like the night we first met.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"I don't know what is wrong with me?" I admitted. "This body feels so many things at the same time."

"It is a very interesting species, humans." That was my problem. I didn't separate myself as much as I should.

"It just hurt to see him so happy without me." I said. "I know it is selfish and that I should be happy that he is, but it hurts so much… and the look on his face when he touched me…"

"The only reason he looked like that was because he let himself think about it." I looked at Burns confused. "You don't see him when he isn't paying attention to his actions. How his gaze always seems to be drawn in your direction or how he places himself between you and everyone else whenever possible, or how he gets two plates at every meal before he realizes it… or in the split second before you hit the ground."

"But the pain I saw on his face was something I never want to see again and the only time it is there is when I am around."

"He still loves you." He stated. "His mind just hasn't realized it yet."

A sob burst from my lips. Knowing that he could still love me under all of his anger and pain made this so much harder for me. I had felt this before when I had decided to give Melanie her body back. It broke my heart to know that he loved me and I was going to hurt him. Burns leaned forward, pulling me to his shoulder where I stained his shirt with the salt from my tears. I cried on him until I had nothing left in me and he held me until the hitching in my breath had stopped, kissing me on the top of the head before releasing his grip.

A loud crack came from the hallway, followed by a curse. We jumped from the cots at the sound to see Ian standing in the doorway, cradling his hand to his chest, a pile of rock dust on the floor at his feet. I could see the blood on the hand he held, the sound we had heard must have been his fist hitting the rock wall. He turned quickly and took off down the dark hallway. I didn't think, my legs acting on their own accord down the hall after him.

I caught up with him just before the bathing room – only because he had stopped, leaning against the wall with one arm. I pulled the bandana off my neck and walked around him so I could see the injured hand. I was already swelling, blood covering his knuckles. I reached forward with the bandana to stop the bleeding but as I was about to touch him he cringed back. No matter how many times he had done that since he woke up, each time brought with it a new pain. I held the fabric out to him by the corner between my finger and thumb so we would have no contact. He took it. "I'll get Doc for you."

I started to walk away but stopped when I heard him clear his throat. "Wait."

I turned back to him, waiting for what he had to say, fearing the worst.

"I'm sorry. You were just trying to help me." He cringed as he tried to wrap the fabric around his hand.

"What happened back there?" This was the most I had spoken to him in over a week.

"I don't know." He said. "I went to meet Doc after the game for a check up, but you were there instead… with Burns… and for some reason I felt this anger rising in me." He sucked a breath between his teeth as he tightened the bandana. "I didn't even know I hit the wall until my hand started to throb. I don't even know why I was angry, I've only known you for a week… as far as I can remember at least."

I was afraid to speak. Just being this close to Ian made me feel complete. These were self serving thoughts though because for as good as it made me feel I could clearly see the internal struggle he was having and the obvious conflict it was causing him.

"I know we meant something to each other before… but I can't remember any of that. Even if I do fall in love with you again, I won't know if it is because I really feel it or if I am just doing what I am supposed to do. It's like I am forcing myself to feel things that I am not sure about." Ian said, his eyes holding mine. "I can't make my heart and mind agree when I am around you. I can't help but feel a need to protect you, but I don't know how to protect you from myself as I am clearly the one doing all of the damage. I can see it on your face everyday and I can tell you were crying back there too. In the end whatever I do just feels wrong."

"You're confused." I whispered.

"I'm sorry Wanda. I just don't know how to be around you... maybe I need more time."

"I know." I did understand and I knew what I had to do for him, though Melanie was not going to be happy with me.

I looked at his hand, now tightly wrapped in the bandana. "Will you be okay?" I asked

"Yes. Thank you." He said. His eyes stared at me like deep pools of despair and confusion.

"I have to go speak to Jeb."

He nodded at me as I rose from the ground. I turned to walk away from him, a knot forming in my stomach as I turned my back on him.

A hand rested on my shoulder after only a few steps, my skin on fire from the contact. I turned only my head to see him standing behind me.

"I am truly sorry, Wanda."

"Me too."

It nearly broke my heart admitting to Jeb that I wanted to leave the caves. This community was the closest thing I had ever had to a family; the souls viewed our species as one expansive family and as much as I had spend my existence believing that was the ideal way of life it took this small group of mismatched humans to make me realize that it lacked the intimacy and sometimes conflict of a true family.

Jeb had immediately called for a tribunal, which was what I had been expecting him to do. What surprised me was that he called it for the entire community and not the small group that was present during my first request to leave the caves – and the planet as a whole.

We gathered in the same place that had once held the trial over Kyle's fate after our 'accident', but this time it was me standing on display between Jeb and Jared. The agruements came fast and furious once Jeb had explained why we had gathered and they were strong on both sides. Those close to me said it should be my choice as this was not a prison and I had done so much to help them – I didn't agree with that, feeling that I could have done so much more somehow. The other side felt that this was all part of my grand scheme and I was going to lead an army of Seekers here as soon as I was free.

"I think Wanda should be allowed to do whatever she chooses." Ian said. I knew he was not saying this to get rid of me. He may not have realized it, but he was doing what he always did, trying to get me to be more selfish and do what I want.

"She's not doing it for herself. She's doing it for you." Melanie said, clenching her fist in frustration.

Jeb raised his hand to get everyone's attention. "The question is not why she wants to leave the caves, but if she can." He said to the group. "It's time for a vote, but in the end the decision will be mine to make 'cause this is my house."

The room was a murmur of agreements to Jeb's rules.

"Raise your hands if you agree to let Wanda leave the caves to stay with Nate's group."

Hands began to raise belonging to all of the people I considered to be my friends in the cave, the ones who trusted me not to betray them, with the exception of Melanie, Jamie, Sunny and Kyle, who all sat with their hands firmly in their laps. Even Jared raised his hand despite Melanie's angry stares. My eyes though were drawn to one hand which was raised in the air above a head of black hair. Ian was agreeing to let me leave. It stung with a surprising amount of pain, despite it being what I needed to do.

I was too distracted to hear Jeb's count but I could see it was about half of the votes. This was going to come down to Jeb's decision. I turned to him, waiting for my answer.

"Clearly we are evenly split on the issue at hand." He said stroking his beard. "I believe the reasoning behind those who are against Wanda leaving here, are doing it out of fear that she may do something out there to put us in danger."

Maggie started to speak up but was quieted by a look from Jeb.

"I know our Wanda well enough to know that she would lay her own life down before putting any of us in danger." I nodded as he continued. "So my decision is to let Wanda leave the caves to stay with Nate's group –"

The room instantly sprung to life with people arguing his decision, the loudest being Melanie and Maggie, for once actually agreeing on something – even if it was for completely different reasons.

"Under the condition," Jeb said, his voice booming over everyone else's. "That Wanda comes back at arranged times to assist us on our raids." He looked at me for confirmation.

"Of course I will." My voice barely carrying across the room, but that didn't matter; it was loud enough for Jeb. He dismissed the tribunal, leaving only a handful of us left in the room. I wanted to get up and leave the room as well but felt as though I was anchored to the ground; the reality of what had happened starting to sink in.

"So you're really going to leave us?" Jamie asked, his voice shaking slightly. I couldn't speak the words just yet so I nodded my head and let the tears in my eyes speak for themselves.

There was a large group for my send off and I couldn't decide if that made this harder or easier. I was overwhelmed by how much these humans seemed to care for me and that made me feel happy. I would miss them but I knew this was what I had to do. I couldn't hurt the one person that mattered the most; the same person who was missing from this group.

After the tribunal had ended we had made arrangements between Burns and Jared as to when the next raid would need to take place and how we would meet up. Once that was done I decided to leave the caves immediately. I thought that the quickest way would be the easiest, but standing here I realized that it would never be easy.

I approached Jeb first as he was the first person to truly accept me into the caves. "Thank you for… well for everything." I said gesturing to the world and people surrounding me.

He tipped his hat at me and gave me his crazy smile. "Don't be a stranger Wanda."

Sunny gave me a tight hug as I approached her and Kyle. We didn't say anything, the tears in her eyes were enough, so I moved down the line. I stood in front of Kyle, the man who had tried to kill me, not wanting to look into his eyes. They were too much like his brother's when not filled with rage. He reached down and forced my chin up, meeting my eyes with a look of sorrow. "I appreciate what you are doing for my brother, although when his memories do come back, he will try to kill me for letting you leave."

"Please take care of him." I asked. "And make sure he is happy." He rolled his eyes at me; obviously he would take care of his own brother. I had seen the torture on his face when Ian lay unconscious in the hospital. He would always look out for him, and that gave me reassurance.

I made my way through the rest of the crowd, saying goodbye to my friends; Trudy and Geoffrey, Heath, Paige and Andy, Heidi, Lily and Doc – who made me promise to take care of myself as he wouldn't be there to do it for me. I felt emotionally drained by the time I made it to the three of them standing just off to the side. Each of them holding onto to one another's hands. They were always strongest together and I knew that they would be okay as long as they had each other.

Jared's eyes were the first ones to meet my own, searching my expression. "You sure about this Wanda?"

No, maybe, I don't know. All those answers threatened to leave my lips but I knew they were not the correct answer; the one that served a bigger purpose than my own selfish desires. "Yes I'm sure."

My gaze flickered to the Stryders beside him.

"I promise you, on my own life, that they will be okay." He assured me as I looked back at him. Melanie did not agree with him and showed it by elbowing him in the stomach. I would have been concerned but I remembered her first encounter with the iron muscles of his stomach years earlier.

"I may be physically fine, but emotionally I will be an absolute wreck. I am used to being able to talk to you whenever I want and I don't think I am ready for that to be taken away." She reached over with her strong arms and pulled me into a hug. "You're the only sister I've ever had Wanda."

"You're like a sister to me too, Wanda." Jamie said as he wrapped his arms around my waist under Melanie's arms. Melanie backed away from us, leaning against Jared, her eyes moist and red. I could feel mine burning with tears of their own.

"I love you Jamie," I said. "That won't change no matter where I am."

I could feel his head nod but he said no more, his body hitching from sobs he held in, trying to look strong infront of Jared. Jamie finally released me from his arms, stepping back to where Melanie and Jared stood.

"Don't forget about us Wanda." Jamie said clutching to Melanie's side. Goodbyes were not easy for him; most people he said goodbye to never came back. Except her.

"I could never forget about you," I said, my voice catching as I tried to hold back the tears that were still threatening to overflow. "I'll be back before you know it for the next raid."

I waved a final time to everyone before turning and walking towards Burns, who stood several yards away, giving us privacy.

"Are you okay Wanderer?" He asked, concerned, as I stopped beside him.

"Not really," I answered honestly. "But I am ready."

I gave in one final time, sneaking a look over my shoulder at my friends – my family. My breath caught in my throat as I saw a figure hiding in the entrance way to the caves, previously out of sight behind the wall of well-wishers. Even in the shadows I knew it was him. Ian had come. Even if he hid in the shadows not actually saying goodbye, it still meant something to me.

So you may be mad that I made you wait and then did that. Wanda will be back of course but she needs to do a little exploring of her own for a little bit. There will be a happily ever after eventually... unless I change my mind which I HIGHLY doubt, I just love them together too much.

R & R