Moiraine wants to be left in peace, but Nynaeve wants an explanation for Moiraine's behavior.

Moiraine stood outside the infirmary with crossed arms before her chest, watching the people of Falme as they passed the infirmary without glancing at it. None of them were aware that someone had just died in there. How many people had known Lia? Would someone miss her? Did she have friends who would be sad not to see her again?

They talk to every older patient, asking about their families and where the person comes from. And everyone who mentions he doesn't have any living relatives receives another visit from another Whitecloak later that day. They bring a cup of tea with them. A few hours later, the child declares them dead.

Lia didn't have relatives in Falme, but she must have had friends – people who loved her and waited for her to get better, right?

The Cairhien woman's throat was tight when she thought about the possibility that no one would mourn the Tairen woman. Everyone should have someone who would be sad about your passing.

Yeah? And who would be sad about your passing?

Before Cairhien, Moiraine would have said Siuan. The Tairen woman had been her lover for decades. Surely, she would've cried about Moiraine's death. But now? They had an argument like never before in their life and had said and done things they regretted – at least Moiraine did. Leaving an injured Siuan behind…

Quickly, Moiraine blinked the tears away. This was not the time or place to remember her difficult situation with Siuan. No, she had been thinking about people who would mourn her death.

Definitely not her family. Anvaere may have idolized her when she was still a child, but that child had grown up now, living her life without Moiraine for decades. Had she even thought about Moiraine before she barged in on her a week ago? Did Barthanes think about her?

The wedding of her nephew was happening in a few days, yet they hadn't even tried to contact her. No invitation had been sent to inform Moiraine about the event, assuming she wouldn't be there.

Well, you would've been too busy to attend. Even if it had been just you and Lan, still searching for the Dragon Reborn, you wouldn't have gone to Cairhien.

Lan. Would he mourn her? After everything she had done to him, the man had begged her to unmask the bond. Did that mean he would be sad about her death? What would he do if she died? Could he beat the curse of the bond? When Moiraine was out of the picture, he could bond Nynaeve. Unlike other Warders, the Malkieri had a reason to keep living. His love for Nynaeve was strong.

Maybe one day, he'll come to his senses and ask you to release him of his bond. You can't tie him to you forever.

Worry rolled through the bond and a question – both barely palpable. Lan wanted to know the reason for Moiraine's sadness, but Moiraine used one of Lan's tricks. Sometimes, the Malkieri used Ko'di to hide his emotions. It was hard for the Aes Sedai to feel him whenever he embraced it. Everything seemed dull and numb then, and Moiraine hated every second of it. It felt like masking the bond, though it wasn't such a brutal cut because she could still feel Lan.

Of course, the woman of the Blue Ajah wasn't as talented as her Warder in entering Ko'di. Now and then, she slipped out of it, sending her wild emotions through the bond.

Lan was somewhere in Falme, doing something Nynaeve had ordered him to do. The last few days, the men helped rebuild houses, boats, and whatever else needed to be repaired while the women helped at the infirmary.

Again, Lan sent his question through the bond. He wouldn't give up easily, but Moiraine couldn't calm him momentarily. It was already hard to keep her emotions together so she wouldn't start crying. She couldn't deal with Lan now.

"Moiraine."

As soon as she heard Nynaeve's voice in her back, she wanted to run. Why couldn't that girl leave her alone? And why in light's name was she using Moiraine's real name? Lan had explained to everyone how important it was to call them 'Alys' and 'Andra'. They should use it all the time. They could never know who was listening.

The Aes Sedai pretended not to hear her, but of course, that didn't work with Nynaeve. The Wisdom could be annoyingly persistent.

"Moiraine."

This time, the young woman from the Two Rivers grabbed the Cairhien woman's arm to get her attention.

"Don't touch me!" Moiraine hissed, and Nynaeve obeyed surprisingly. "Don't you have patients to look after?"

"They're all taken care of. So, I have some time to spare to look after you. The death of that woman hit you hard, and I would like to know why."

"Her name was Lia!" Moiraine knew she shouldn't talk to Nynaeve, but it angered her that the Wisdom called Lia 'that woman'.

Surprised, Nynaeve raised her eyebrows. "You liked her." Her tone was suddenly calm and didn't sound like a question.

The Cairhien woman gritted her teeth. She didn't want to explain anything to Nynaeve, nor did she want that girl to suspect anything. Quickly, she tried to calm the rage within her, trying to sound unconcerned. "I barely knew her." The look on Nynaeve's face told her she failed utterly.

"Everyone called her 'the grumpy, old fishlady', but you know her name."

Instead of answering, Moiraine simply shrugged a shoulder. She didn't trust herself to have her emotions under control to continue that conversation. Light, she could feel Lan's worries increasing! Quickly, she focused on embracing Ko'di. She needed to end that conversation with Nynaeve.

"Why do you care about her that much?"

Silence. Moiraine didn't even bother to look at the young woman from the Two Rivers. She wouldn't give her anything.

Sadly, Nynaeve didn't expect an answer. She continued to talk while moving from Moiraine's left to the right side behind the woman's back. Oh, she knew how to annoy someone.

"Since we opened the infirmary, countless people have died under our hands. Not once did you look devastated or tried to heal a patient. You stuck to the plan like everyone else."

Angrily, Moiraine dug her nails into her arms to keep herself from strangling the young woman. Nynaeve was probing for a reaction.

Focus on Ko'di. Focus on Ko'di. Focus on-

"But today, you wanted to use Saidar. You were willing to expose us to the Whitecloaks. Worse even, you accused them of killing old people – which was honestly the worst idea you ever had. Do you have a death wish, or why did you think it was a good idea to provoke a Whitecloak?"

Focus on Ko'di. Focus…

"They kill people." Moiraine cursed inwardly when her tongue decided to answer. At least her voice sounded calmer than before. "I expected a Wisdom would care about people's lives. But maybe I was wrong about you."

She didn't see the death glare she received but heard Nynaeve gritting her teeth angrily. Well, at least the girl showed some anger. Maybe she would leave now.

But again, Nynaeve surprised her. Instead of running, she continued to fight. "And I thought you're smarter than starting a fight with a Whitecloak."

Subconsciously, Moiraine's hand moved toward her throat. Twice today, she had challenged her luck by confronting a Whitecloak. Luckily, the second time didn't come with a new injury.

"A Whitecloak did that to you?!"

The Aes Sedai wanted to slap herself. When did she become so careless? The Wisdom was searching for something to use against her, and she played right into her hands.

"Blood and ashes! Lan will go crazy when he hears you had another fight with a Whitecloak today."

Angrily, the woman of the Blue Ajah swirled around, shooting daggers at the woman of the Two Rivers. "Don't you dare pull him into that, Nynaeve al'Meara!"

"He deserves to know what his… what you do." In the last second, Nynaeve remembered not to say 'Aes Sedai'. No one knew who was a spy of the Whitecloaks.

Moiraine stepped closer until their noses almost touched. "It is not up to you to decide what Lan deserves. He belongs to me."

"For now," Nynaeve spat. Whenever they talked about the uncrowned king of Malkier, she forgot her calm. "I will find a way to free him of you. Sadly, he is too blind to see he made a mistake in bonding you all those years ago. But one day, he will recognize his mistake, and you have to let him go."

"Who says I will let him go?" Moiraine wouldn't tell Nynaeve that she had tried to push Lan toward her. The Wisdom didn't need to know how cruel the Aes Sedai had been to her Warder to send him to Tar Valon – to send him to Nynaeve. Maybe Lan would tell her one day, but then he had to explain why he didn't take the chance.

"You're many things, Moiraine, but not even you would keep a man tied to you against his will."

The Cairhien woman didn't want to agree with the woman from the Two Rivers, but the First Oath stopped her from lying.

"What if he never wants to be free? What will you do then?"

Light! Why was she still talking? She wanted to be alone, yet her mouth kept opening against her will.

Nynaeve snorted. "You can't fool him forever, Moiraine. And then, he won't even need me to tell him. You're not good for him, and I can't wait for the day he realizes that."

"And you think you're better than me?"

"No." Surprised, Moiraine took a step backward, but Nynaeve wasn't done. She closed the distance before the Aes Sedai had time to respond. "I know I'm better than you because I actually care about Lan."

All blood left the Aes Sedai's face, and a shiver ran over her spine. She didn't care about Lan?

The Wisdom noticed she had found something that stung and continued, "You would set him free should you truly care about him. You would do what's best for him. Instead, he has to follow you like a dog – obey your orders and stay put when you decide not to need him. Just like you did in Fal Dara."

Fal Dara.

I like her, you know. The Wisdom.

Moiraine had pushed Lan toward Nynaeve – encouraging him to take the next step – so he wouldn't follow her to the Eye of the World. She had done everything in her power to save his life. Of course, she hadn't known he would find a way to follow her.

"He was devastated when he found out you were gone – leaving him behind to watch the unimportant children. All he wanted was to follow you to be by your side. Do you know he took the first chance to storm into the Blight?"

An image of Lan storming through the Blight while cutting a way through the rotten trees appeared before Moiraine's eyes. Twenty years ago, she had stopped the man from running to his death. Back then, she had imagined she could find a way to save his life.

"He could've got killed while searching for you. Just because you didn't trust him enough to tell him how to find the Eye of the World. You-"

"You know nothing, child." Rage pulsed through Moiraine's veins, waking her from her shocked state. She had listened long enough to Nynaeve's accusations. Although she had promised Lan to keep the arguments with the young woman to a minimum, she couldn't stay quiet any longer. "I don't expect you to understand what I did in Fal Dara. At least not in the next few years. Maybe once you find your own partner, you will understand the decision I made."

"You left him behind, not caring for his feelings or-"

"Don't tell me about Lan's feelings," Moiraine interrupted her. "No one knows more about his feelings than me."

Her words were a slap to the face, and this time, it was the young woman from the Two Rivers who stepped back. It was a reminder that the Malkieri was still bonded to the Cairhien woman.

Soon, Nynaeve had her feelings under control again. "I will make him see who you truly are. And then, you'll be on your own."

"Nynaeve!"

Luckily, Elayne appeared at that moment, stepping between the two women. But it was already too late. Nynaeve's last words hurt badly. With Siuan, who had turned against her, Moiraine would be utterly alone once Lan decided to become Nynaeve's Warder.

The Aes Sedai's eyes burned, and her throat became tight. If she didn't leave now, it was possible she would start crying. No, she wouldn't give Nynaeve that kind of satisfaction.

"Don't you think we have bigger problems right now? Fighting won't help us to leave this city."

"Stay out of this, Elayne. This is between Moiraine and me."

Angrily, the daughter-heir placed her hands on her hips. "You make it a problem for all of us if you act like children. The Whitecloaks sneak around. They don't need a real reason to take you with them. And according to Egwene, you won't like their treatment."

"I'll be inside," Moiraine announced. Her voice was quiet, but she hoped Nynaeve didn't see how badly her words had hurt.

The Cairhien woman made one step toward the entrance when a hand grabbed her wrist, keeping her from leaving. Anger shone in Elayne's eyes.

"You're not much better than Nynaeve. Worse even after what you did in there. What were you thinking?"

"She thought only about herself," Nynaeve hissed, then walked back into the infirmary.

Angrily, Moiraine tried to free herself from Elayne's grip, but her niece was stubborn. She wanted answers.

"Let go."

"I'm not Nynaeve," Elayne reminded her softly. "I don't think the worst about you. I never could. What was-?"

"Let go." Again, Moiraine tried to free herself, but her niece simply stepped closer so no one else could hear her.

"You're my aunt, and I'm worried about you." The daughter-heir grabbed her aunt's other arm to have her full attention. Her anger had been replaced with worry. "You confronted a Whitecloak today, though you bloody know how dangerous they are. They will hunt you if they find out you're a you-know-what."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Elayne sighed heavily. "Moiraine, please. You can trust me."

"Let go, Elayne."

The girl hesitated, which was everything the Aes Sedai needed. Determined, she freed herself. She wanted to be alone.

"Moiraine-"

"Leave me alone, Elayne. I don't want to talk."

Before her niece could stop her again, Moiraine stormed back into the infirmary. Once every patient got their dinner, she could finally leave for the day.

I will make him see who you truly are. And then, you'll be on your own.

Alone. Although she didn't want to think about Nynaeve's words again, Moiraine couldn't stop her brain. Once Lan followed his heart and begged her to release him, the Cairhien woman would have no one left. She would be alone with no one loving or supporting her.

Her eyes burned again. Blood and ashes! Could that day get worse? When she felt Lan's worries through the bond again, Moiraine remembered that she had forgotten to hide her feelings from him. It had been impossible to embrace Ko'di during her fight with the Wisdom.

Quickly, she focused and cleared her mind. It wouldn't help Lan to feel her confused emotions. Once he was done for the day, he would spend the evening with Nynaeve. Moiraine could only assume how happy the young woman would be to tell him about Moiraine's fight with the Whitecloak. Well, he could yell at her in the morning.

After calming herself and putting her Aes Sedai mask in place, the woman of the Blue Ajah pushed the fight out of her head.

Serve dinner, then leave. Avoid Nynaeve and Elayne, and stay away from the Children of the Light. No more discussion, arguments, or fights. It is late, it was a long day, and I'm exhausted.

When Moiraine was back inside, her eyes automatically turned to Lia's small bed. Two Whitecloaks grabbed her covered body – someone had wrapped her into the blanket – then carried her away.

Moiraine's fingers winced, feeling Saidar under her fingertips. It would be so easy to strangle those Whitecloaks and… Suddenly, pain moved from her fingers over her hands to her wrists. The Third Oath moved painfully around her hands, banishing every thought of using the One Power to hurt those men. She couldn't use Saidar since the Whitecloaks didn't attack her.

Cursing inwardly, the Aes Sedai turned her eyes away. She couldn't do anything for Lia anymore. The Tairen woman was dead, and her killers wouldn't be punished.

"Are you not feeling well, Alys?"

Another one of the helpers, a woman from Falme who knew some things about herbs, had stopped beside the Cairhien woman.

"I'll be alright."

Moiraine left before the woman could start a conversation or ask her more questions. The patients were waiting for their dinner.