Alanna is willing to help, but Moiraine refuses. During a walk through the streets of Fal Dara, Moiraine and Lan run into someone close to Lan's heart.

"Alanna." Lan jumped out of his chair. "That was fast. I didn't expect you for another couple of days."

"Well, your letter sounded urgent." The woman of the Green Ajah turned to Moiraine. "You fell off a horse?"

"I did not fall off a horse," Moiraine snapped.

Alanna furrowed her forehead in confusion, and Lan glared at the Cairhien woman. Cursing inwardly, Moiraine reminded herself she had to play along if she wanted Lan to stop being overprotective. Yet, she couldn't keep her annoyance out of her voice. "I don't remember falling off a horse."

Alanna simply looked at her sister for a moment, then turned to Lan. "What?"

"It's complicated."

"Explain."

Sighing, Lan grabbed the backrest of the chair before him. "A week ago, Moiraine went for a ride with a mare, who still needs to be trained properly. I don't know what happened exactly, but I found Moiraine lying unconscious on the ground when I started searching for her. She fell off the mare's back and hit her head badly. She wasn't responding for days, and when she woke, she…" The Malkieri looked at the Cairhien woman. He obviously tried to describe the situation without telling Moiraine how badly it hurt him. "The last couple of years are gone. She doesn't remember marrying me or that we moved to Fal Dara. She talks about people who died years ago and describes situations that never happened."

The frown on Alanna's forehead deepened with each word. She even stopped eating. Her eyes moved over Moiraine as if she would give a better answer.

Calmly, the Cairhien woman returned the look, though her thoughts ran again. Lan had written Alanna? Why not Siuan? Why did he not send a letter to the White Tower? Or did he do that too? Was Alanna simply faster than the White Tower? Well, if she had been in Arafel – meeting her family – it made sense that she would arrive first.

"So… Moiraine has some kind of memory loss?"

"She lost her memories and suddenly has new ones."

Alanna tilted her head aside. "Do you remember me, Moiraine?"

"As if anyone could forget you, Alanna."

"Who are my Warders?"

Dangerous. Alanna was a Green, and they loved having multiple Warders at once. In her world, Alanna had bonded two Warders. What if, in that world, she had more than two? Or what if it weren't the same two?

Moiraine smiled at her friend. "You don't expect me to remember the names of your-?"

"You know their names, Moiraine. Tell me."

Angrily, the woman of the Blue Ajah gritted her teeth. She didn't like that conversation. "Ihvon and Maksim."

For a heartbeat, nothing happened. Then the Green nodded before turning to Lan. "She forgot she married you?"

"She still doesn't believe it."

"And you want me to… heal her?"

"For once. She is still in pain because of the injury."

"And what else do you wish me to do?"

Lan's eyes flicked to Moiraine for a second, then he straightened. "I would like you to delve her."

Silence fell over the room while everyone processed the spoken words. Moiraine was the first to find her voice again. "You summoned Alanna so she would delve me?"

The uncrowned king of Malkier threw his hands in the air, frustrated. "At the moment, it's the best thing I can come up with. You're still not yourself, no matter how hard you try to pretend you're getting better. I simply hope that… that delving you will give us some answers to why your memories are so messed up."

"It's worth a try." Alanna placed the half-eaten apple on the plate before her and stood up. "I don't know if it will give you the answers you're looking for, but maybe we're lucky."

"Touch me, and I will send you wrapped like a gift back to your Warders."

Moiraine's words made Alanna stop dead in her tracks. Their eyes were locked, and the Blue could see how her sister was estimating how serious that threat was.

"Moiraine, please," Lan begged, approaching her from the other side. "We need to find out what's going on with you."

"I don't want to be delved."

"We're running out of options."

Sighing, Moiraine placed the half-eaten apple down, then stood up. "Well, then, I guess you have to continue searching because I don't want to be delved."

The uncrowned king of Malkier growled, then started walking up and down, murmuring something inaudible to himself.

"At least she is still as stubborn as before." Glaring, the Cairhien woman turned toward Alanna, who shrugged her shoulder. "What? It's true."

"Thank you for coming, Alanna, but your help won't be needed."

The Green Sister addressed the Malkieri. "Have you tried using your magical cock to bring back her memories?"

Coughing, Moiraine tried not to imagine Lan's cock. She was certain the other Moiraine and Lan had bedded each other multiple times in the past since they were married, but luckily, Lan hadn't suggested anything yet. She didn't know how she would react to his proposal.

"Alanna!"

"What?" The Green Sister acted like she couldn't understand why the Blue was so shocked.

"Bedding someone isn't always the answer!"

Alanna shrugged her shoulder again. "It works for me. I never had a situation or an argument that I couldn't solve by bedding the person."

"Leave."

"Don't leave." Lan entered their conversation again. "Please, don't leave. Give me some time to reason with Moiraine."

"I have nowhere to be momentarily. You two decide what you want to do next and then find me. In the meantime…" The Green Sister moved toward the doors but not without grabbing another apple. "…you should think about my suggestion. Sometimes, a sweaty exercise is all that's necessary to find each other again."

"Alanna! Get out!"

Smiling, the woman of the Green Ajah faced her Blue Sister. "Light, Moiraine. I thought you've stopped being so damn prudish. You're married to a Malkieri and have lived in the Borderlands for years. Shouldn't you have adapted their way of life by now?"

"Get out!"

Alanna waved one last time, then left the room. Moiraine's cheeks were burning. Have you tried using your magical cock to bring back her memories? Light! Sometimes, she wanted to strangle her friend. As if the situation wasn't already hard enough. Why did she have to make it even more difficult?

"Moiraine-"

"Don't."

Quickly, the Aes Sedai stepped backward. She didn't want Lan to believe she was actually thinking about him using…

"Moiraine." The Malkieri held up his hands in defense, and Moiraine could see the pain in his eyes. "You know very well I would never touch you without your permission."

Ashamed, the Cairhien woman lowered her head. Her cheeks were on fire. Of course, she knew Lan wouldn't do something like that. Light, she was acting stupid! Cursing inwardly, she forced herself to step before him and placed her hands on his chest. "Forgive me. I know you would never… it's… this situation… I don't…."

Lan relaxed, then asked softly, "Can I hug you, or will you pull away?"

Tears built up in Moiraine's eyes. Lan's kindness overwhelmed her. Why did she pull away from him? "A hug would be nice."

Smiling, the big man from the Borderlands wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against his chest and burying his nose in her hair. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my plan with Alanna."

"You wanted to help."

"And made it worse."

"No, you didn't. It's just… Alanna and her… ideas."

The uncrowned king of Malkier released her and pushed her at arm's length away from him. "I would never use your body or mine to convince you about something or to handle an argument. What Alanna described… that's not me. There have been countless situations in the past when we had different opinions, and we never bedded each other to change our minds."

Moiraine nodded. She believed him. Smiling, she cupped his face in her hands. "Thank you." Lan returned the smile, then took her hands and pressed a kiss on the inside of her hand. When his face turned sad, Moiraine worried. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath. "I really would like Alanna to delve you."

Sighing, the woman of the Blue Ajah freed her hands and turned away from him. She didn't want to discuss that topic any further. But the Malkieri pulled her back to him, keeping her from leaving.

"I know you don't like to be delved. You told me many times how uncomfortable it feels."

"And yet, you want me to let Alanna do it."

"Because I think it could help us understand what's going on with you."

Moiraine bit her lower lip. Could delving really help them? What would Alanna find? Were there two versions of Moiraine living in that body? Or would she realize that the Blue had lost her mind? What would happen if Alanna announced the latter? Would Lan leave her? Would he send her to a sanatorium, forgetting about her?

Images of the sanatorium of Cairhien appeared before the Aes Sedai's eyes. She had seen all those people who had been locked away because they weren't able to care for themselves any longer. Some of them even were a danger to themselves and needed to be watched. Could that happen to her, too?

"What is it?" Of course, Lan felt her worries through the bond. When she didn't answer, he rubbed over his face. "If you really don't want Alanna to delve you, I stop mentioning it. But can she at least heal you?"

Moiraine didn't doubt Lan meant what he said. The man wouldn't force her to accept Alanna's delving. She placed a hand on his chest. "I'll think about it."

The uncrowned king of Malkier nodded. "Is there anything I can do for you now?"

For a moment, the Cairhien woman was tempted to say he could help her go home but decided otherwise at the last second. "I'd like to go for a walk."

Lan looked like he wanted to tell her no, then asked softly, "Do you really think you're strong enough?"

"I wouldn't mind some company."

Immediately, Lan's face lit up. "Well… may I offer myself to keep you company, my Lady?"

Moiraine couldn't stop herself from chuckling. That man before her wasn't her Lan, but she enjoyed his presence and his humor nonetheless. And until she found a way out of that nightmare, she should stay on Lan's good side in case she needed his help later. "Are you certain you have time to spare, my Lord?"

Lan took her hand and pressed a kiss on the back of her hand. "Anything for you, my love."

A shiver ran over Moiraine's back, and she fought hard not to pull back her hand. Was it a bad idea to let Lan get that close? She didn't want him to believe she was falling for him. But it was already too late to turn back. She had offered him to join her. It wouldn't look good if she changed her mind now.

Together, the pair left the dining room. Moiraine's hand lay on Lan's arm, allowing the man to guide her out of the house and through the city.

The walk through the city was a nice distraction. Of course, she knew all those places Lan brought her to, but it felt different than all the other times she had seen them. For the first time in her life, she walked through a city, not rushing things – not having a clear destination in mind. She and Lan didn't have to search for the Dragon Reborn anymore. In that world, Rand was dead. In that world, they were allowed to live their life with comfortable walks through the streets.

Moiraine had to admit that she liked it. Of course, she still had in mind that she had to find a way back. But she had tried for days, searching for a solution, and nothing had come up. Taking a walk with Lan wouldn't delay her departure since she still didn't know how to escape.

Was that what her life could have been without finding Rand? If they didn't have that mission… would she have lived a quiet life? But why wasn't she living with Siuan? Why did she choose Lan instead of the woman of her heart? Or was it because Siuan…

Moiraine hadn't dared to ask the question out loud, afraid of the answer. She could deal with a lot of things – even being placed in that strange world – but hearing of Siuan's death? No, she couldn't deal with that message.

"Do you want us to turn around?"

Blinking, the Aes Sedai returned her attention to what lay before her. How long had she been lost in her thoughts again? It had to be a while, judging by the worried look on Lan's face.

"Forgive me. I got distracted. What did you say?"

Lan looked like he didn't believe her. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Lan. I enjoy our walk. Please, don't make me regret taking you with me."

"I just don't want you to push yourself when you're not well."

Moiraine smiled at him. "I promise to inform you should I realize I can't go any further."

Finally, the Malkieri nodded, and they continued their path.

"Dai Shan."

An older man with a Hadori around his forehead stepped before Moiraine and Lan, making them stop. The uncrowned king of Malkier smiled lovingly at the man and pulled him into a warm hug. "Genjad."

Awkwardly, Moiraine stood there, watching the two men hug each other. Should she step aside? Or should she excuse herself?

Before she could make a decision, the men separated, and the older man said, "We miss you at our dinners, Dai Shan."

"Forgive me. I was… busy lately."

Genjad's eyes fell on Moiraine, and he bowed politely. "Moiraine Sedai. Are you feeling better?"

Confused, the Cairhien woman furrowed her forehead. "Feeling better?"

"We heard about the accident. And since Dai Shan barely left the house anymore, we assumed you must have gotten injured badly."

"Oh." Moiraine didn't know what she was supposed to say. Seeking help, she turned toward Lan. How well did the other Moiraine know that man?

"Moiraine feels better now, but she is still not healed yet."

Genjad furrowed his forehead. "What about that Aes Sedai that arrived this morning? The whole city talks about her arrival."

"Things are a little bit more… complicated."

The older Malkieri seemed to understand that Lan couldn't talk about Moiraine's condition on the street. Smiling, he pointed at the street to their right. "Would you like some tea? You must be thirsty after your walk."

Uncertain, Lan glanced at Moiraine. "I don't know. Maybe we should-"

"Kera would be heartbroken if you don't visit." The older Malkieri knew exactly how to manipulate Lan. "She adores you and loves Moiraine Sedai's stories."

The Cairhien woman swallowed. Great. Who was that mysterious Kera? And what kind of stories did the other Moiraine tell her? Maybe she should excuse herself. Smiling, Moiraine placed a hand on Lan's arm. "I think I'll return to our house. I don't feel well enough to- "

"Nonsense." Genjad took Moiraine's other hand and placed it on his arm. "The way back to your house is way longer than coming to our place. You can rest there. Kera will love to take care of you."

Shocked, the Cairhien woman turned to Lan, glaring at him to intervene. But the Malkieri simply sighed and followed Genjad.

The older Malkieri hadn't lied. Five minutes later, he opened a door, leading Moiraine and Lan inside. "Diena! Kera! Prepare some tea! I brought visitors!"

A woman and a young girl appeared, and the girl squealed in delight when she recognized Moiraine and Lan. "Moiraine! Lan!"

The woman of the Blue Ajah froze when she saw the girl running at her. She would crash right into her! And she wouldn't be able to stop her!

Luckily, Lan saw the danger and grabbed the girl before anyone could get hurt. "Easy, little one."

Smiling, she hugged him, then grabbed his ears. "What took you so long? You haven't visited us for tea or lunch forever."

"We were busy, Kera."

"It never kept you from visiting us."

Laughing, the uncrowned king of Malkier put Kera back on her feet. "Sometimes, situations interact with our wishes."

Pouting, Kera crossed her arms before her chest. She wasn't convinced by his explanation. Then her eyes fell on Moiraine, and her face lit up immediately. Again, she tried to throw herself at the Aes Sedai, but the Warder was faster.

"Let go of me, Lan."

"No bear hugs today, Kera. Moiraine is still injured, so we need to take it slowly."

"Injured?" The woman had reached them. Moiraine assumed she was Diena. Worried, Diena's eyes moved between the Malkieri and the Cairhien woman. "So, the rumors were true? You got injured during an accident, Moiraine?"

"Ehm… yes." Moiraine felt uncomfortable. Those people seemed nice and knew the other Moiraine. But how well? What was the other Moiraine usually telling them? How did she address them? What would she do? "I… fell off… a horse." Her skin tingled when she realized again the First Oath didn't stop her from saying it.

"A horse?" Kera furrowed her forehead in confusion. "You would never fall off a horse. You're an excellent rider."

For a moment, Moiraine thought about hugging that little girl. Finally, there was someone as suspicious as she was about her so-called 'accident'.

"Accidents happen, Kera," Lan explained calmly to his wild friend.

"Come. Sit." Diena led Moiraine toward the table and urged her to sit down. "I'll bring you some tea."

Uncomfortably, the Aes Sedai obeyed yet couldn't stop glancing at the door occasionally. She didn't like that situation. How could she convince them to let her leave?

Lan appeared with Kera, and they sat down beside the Cairhien woman. This time, the Malkieri couldn't stop the young girl from hugging Moiraine, though she was extremely careful with her hug.

Shocked, Moiraine froze. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't a big hugger, and kids usually stayed away from her. What was expected of her?

Kera released her, but the frown was back on her forehead. "Is my hug hurting you?"

"Ehm, no."

"Then why don't you hug me back? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I…." Seeking for help, the woman of the Blue Ajah turned toward the Warder, but he was also confused about her reaction. Obviously, his Moiraine knew how to hug someone. Quickly, Moiraine got back on her feet. "I think I should go. You probably have better things to do than serving us tea."

"Don't be silly." Diena pushed Moiraine gently back down. "You're injured and need to rest after such a walk." Then she turned toward Lan while putting the pot over the fire. "Why didn't you ask that Aes Sedai, who arrived this morning in the city, for help?"

"I did ask her," Lan responded quietly.

"And she didn't help? Why? Don't all Aes Sedai know the healing weave?"

Genjad appeared again with a smoking pipe, taking place beside Lan. "You said things are more complicated, Dai Shan. How complicated?"

Moiraine and Lan exchanged a quick glance. How much would he tell them? How much did he trust those people?

"Moiraine, she… she lost some of her memories."

Everyone turned silent while Moiraine locked her eyes on the table before her. Light, she wished she could storm out of that room! The entire city would soon know that a'Lan Mandragoran's wife had lost her mind if they kept telling more people.

"How many memories?" Genjad asked calmly.

"The last couple of years." A heavy sigh escaped Lan's lips. It sounded like he was relieved to talk to someone he trusted about something that was bothering him deeply. "She doesn't remember marrying me or our life in Fal Dara."

Kera gasped, then tugged at Moiraine's sleeve until the Cairhien woman looked at her. The eyes of the little girl had turned big and seemed watery, as if she was close to crying. "Does that mean… you don't remember… me?"

Blood and ashes! Moiraine wasn't good with children! She was close to hurting that little girl's feelings and didn't know if she could handle a crying girl. But she couldn't lie.

"Unfortunately… yes."

The woman of the Blue Ajah waited for the shock to set in. Kera's eyes widened even further. Surely, she would start to sob any second, and then, Moiraine had to-

Kera's arms wrapped around Moiraine's neck, hugging the older woman tightly until she could barely breathe. "It's ok. We'll just make new memories."

Awkwardly, Moiraine patted the girl's back, hoping it was the right thing to do. Couldn't someone else take that girl?

"What did the Aes Sedai say?" Genjad wanted to know while handing Lan the pipe.

"She could heal Moiraine, and maybe she could find out what's going on with her, but…" Lan's eyes found Moiraine's, and he smiled at her. "… but it's Moiraine's choice. If she doesn't want the Aes Sedai's help, we'll find another way to help her."

"Why don't you want her to help you?" Kera was a curious girl. "Don't you want your memories back?"

"It's… complicated," Moiraine responded. She didn't want to explain her feelings to those strangers. Lan might know those people, but she didn't.

Suddenly, Kera's face lit up excitedly, and she jumped to her feet. "I know what will help you! I'll be back."

Surprised, the Cairhien woman watched how Kera ran out of the room. Blood and ashes! What was that girl up to? Panic started rising within her, and Moiraine threw a glance at the door. How far would she come if she walked out just now? Would she be able to-?

A movement on her left caught Moiraine's attention. Lan had changed his position, placing his large body beside her and rubbing his hand in circles over her back.

"Breathe."

Love rolled through the bond, wrapping her in a secure bubble. Of course. The bond. Lan had felt the change in her emotions.

"You have to forgive Kera, Moiraine," Diena said, smiling. "She really loves you and enjoys the moments you spend together."

Moiraine felt bad. Apparently, so many people loved the other Moiraine, and she refused to allow Alanna to help by delving her. What if Alanna could find an answer to the problem by delving her? Would it show that two souls were living in that body? Or was the other Moiraine now in Moiraine's world in her body? Was her real body even still alive?

"Stop." Lan's soft voice felt so good. Moiraine simply wanted to curl up in bed, allowing him to hold her in his arms. When the Malkieri wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, the Cairhien woman didn't think twice and snuggled up on him. She didn't care about the strangers. Softly, Lan whispered in her ear, "I told you. It's your decision. I won't push you if you don't want to be delved."

"I know," the Cairhien woman whispered. She wanted to scream. Light, she wanted Lan – HER Lan. And she wanted to go home. She didn't belong in that world!

"There it is!" Kera returned, but when she noticed Lan had taken her place, she pouted and glared at him. "This is my place, Lan. I sit beside Moiraine."

"Maybe today you can make an exception since she isn't doing well."

"No." The little girl tried to push herself between the Cairhien woman and the Malkieri. "You have her all the time. She belongs to me when you're here."

"Kera," Diena intervened softly. "You heard Lan. Moiraine is injured and not doing well. She needs him now."

"But I brought memories."

"Then show them by sitting next to Lan. Moiraine can see you even when you don't sit beside her."

The little girl was obviously not happy about Diena's suggestion but obeyed while murmuring something inaudible. She had a small casket with her and opened it. Inside were different objects. A horse carved out of wood. A bracelet with beads, each bead in a different color. Some kind of fabric, and there seemed to be no end.

Immediately, Kera forgot about her anger. Cheerful, she placed all those items on the table. "You brought me all those gifts whenever you returned from your travels. A villager from Egwene's village, the Two Rivers, made this horse. And you brought this piece of fabric when you returned from Cairhien. You said the dressmakers have beautiful fabrics and create astonishing dresses. This is a tooth from a Trolloc, who left it in Lan's arm after attacking you. Those shells are from Falme. You said the beach is beautiful and the water so blue. One day, I want to see that beach. Then we have..."

Moiraine stopped listening. Her eyes moved over the little items Kera pulled out of the casket. All those things told a story about what the other Moiraine had experienced in her life. Stories she had told Kera about, but none of it meant anything to the Aes Sedai. She hadn't been the one who brought those gifts back home.

Sadness filled her body when she moved her fingers over the piece of fabric from Cairhien. How long would that nightmare continue? When would she find the way back home?