ANESTHETIC

"Leave me," Ojiro moaned.

"You're going to make it!" Sero shouted as he put pressure on Ojiro's stomach. "You hear me? We're getting you the help you need!"

"Anything but that. Please."

"Recovery Girl's not that bad."

"Then you're getting healed up too?" Ojiro asked with a bloodstained smirk.

Sero went as pale as Ojiro. "What, for this flesh wound?"

"I can see your pancreas."

"That's just a part of my Quirk."

"Is not."

A concrete slab shifted, and Shoji poked an eyeball into the room.

"Found them! They need Recovery Girl, fast!"

Sero and Ojiro limped for their lives. They made it to a stairwell before Momo caught them.

"Please, I beg you, just leave us with a pistol. Let a dying man go peacefully into the night."

"I'm a hero, Ojiro. I can't let you die."

Sero said, "Can't you make something to dull the pain, at least? Like morphine?"

"I have some ibuprofen."

Ojiro gave her a blank stare. "Really?"

Momo blushed. "Well, I could make something stronger, but…"

"Yes! Gimme!"

"It's very dangerous-"

"Don't care. Drugs. Now!"

Momo drew two syringes out of her cleavage. "Now, listen carefully, you need to stay in the nurse's office until this-"

"You're a lifesaver, thanks!" Sero and Ojiro clinked syringes and took the plunge together. Their pupils instantly dilated into saucers, and they got all giggly. "Momo, since when did you have a twin? Think I could get her number? She's super hot."

"Yes, as soon as you get to the nurse's, now come on!"

Sero tripped. He giggled as his liver flopped onto the floor.

"Oh wow, I didn't feel that at all. This stuff's amazing!"

"Hey, try me!" Ojiro said.

Sero slapped Ojiro with all his bodily might. Ojiro dumbly patted his swelling cheek.

"Cool, right?" Sero asked.

"Wicked. Your turn!"

Ojiro decked Sero with his tail, losing another gallon of blood in the process. Sero snapped his neck back into place and giggled as his whole body went fuzzy.

"Dude. We're like, invincible!"

Ojiro looked down. "No I'm not. That guy wears blue and yellow."

"We could totally beat up the League of Bad Guys!"

"You mean the Villain Team?"

"The Whoever! Let's go!"

"No, wait!"

Sero and Ojiro ran head-first through a load bearing wall. After the building collapsed, Momo eyed the rebar protruding from her ribcage. She took a hit of her own supply, stood up, and ran after Ojiro with the rebar still in her.

"Wait up guys! I want to smack some bad guys too!"

Ojiro groaned and rubbed his head. As the room came into focus, Recovery Girl said, "Good! That drug's flushed out of your system. Now I can use my Quirk."

"Wait. What?" Ojiro looked around. "Where did my legs go? When did Sero get that dragon tattoo? Why does Momo have a stingray in her neck?"

"Pucker up, sleeping beauty," Recovery Girl said.

Ojiro screamed as he felt every cell of his regrowing legs immolated.

497

Anesthetic's great stuff. Need to get your teeth drilled? Just pop a bit of numb juice and you could turn your jaw into powder without feeling it. Gotta be careful though. IIRC, the guy who invented morphine made some unwise life decisions while testing it out on himself.