Anything that rings a bell belongs to JK Rowling
Italian to English translations
"Amore" : "My love"
"Cuore": "My heart"
"Principessa" : "Princess"
Chapter Thirty Six: What do I want?
"Which of the following was the infamous goblin slayer, Yardley Platt or Herpo the Foul?"
Ky tossed the ball and bounced it on her head and caught it again. "The first one."
Mi gave her an exasperated look, "What did Herpo the Foul do then."
"Something foul?"
She glared at her, and Ky laughed, "Or was it something nice. An ironic name, like how you call a big person tiny Tim or something. That's kind of misleading."
"Ky, have you even studied at all!"
"Of course, I did. Well kind of. I know Platt was the goblin slayer because I always imagine going to dinner with him and he'd take off the lid and there would be a platter of goblin heads on it. Cause you know, Platt."
Her hair fell forward as the pillow made contact with it. It was one in the morning and Mi insisted on doing revision for History of Magic.
"Herpo the Foul was the first known creator of the basilisk."
"How do we know that for sure? Where's the proof. Show me. I thought as much."
"It's written right over here!" She stabbed her finger to the page.
Ky grabbed her copy and scribbled into it, "'Ky Thornton is the strongest witch that has ever lived, and she has chocolate for dinner every day and doesn't ever get fat and sleeps for twelve hours.' Well since it's on paper it must be true right?"
"You know what I meant. Now are you going to tell me what happened or are you going to kill off more brain cells with that ghastly ball. Where did you get a football from anyway?"
"Dean loaned it to me. Fine I found it at the back of the armchair." Ky pointed to the one in the corner. "Fine, Seamus stole it for me. Fine I took it from their dorm, but Ron knows I have it so it's not stealing."
Ky stood and bounced it with her knee; she could only ever do five in a row.
"And?"
"And…I'll give it back to him tomorrow." She continued staring, "With an apology." Stare. "Written?"
"Ky!"
"Mi... Fine, so Cedric visited me this morning and might or might not have confessed his feelings for me and lack of them for a certain Chang."
She closed the book and leaned forward, "He did! Oh, Ky that's amazing! I knew it though, he didn't really like her, he was just trying to make you jealous, and it was so obvious. So, what did you tell him? Is he going to break up with her? Are you two dating right now? Did you kiss? Oh gosh you did, right? Was it good? I know it takes a bit of getting used to but they're quite open to instruction if Cedric is anything like Viktor...
Ky's eyes grew large at her assault of breathless questions as Mi trailed off mumbling to herself about kissing Krum, "We're not dating, he's still with Chang and there was no kissing. There was actually running away. Me, not him."
"You what?" The excitement left her chocolate eyes and Ky sighed.
"What did you expect Mi? I get down on my knees too and tell him ditto and then we make out against the very well positioned desk behind him? I can't tell him I like him back because I don't really have anything to offer him."
"What, Ky you're-"
"Not OK. Its time I stopped pretending that I am." Her expression fell quickly to one of sombre acceptance. "What kind of…girl…person would I be to him in my current state? He doesn't need this drama, not now. I need to sort my shit out."
"You don't have to do it alone." Mi laid her hand on hers.
Ky smiled up at her, "I know that…it's just that I can't talk to you. I want to but I can't. I try but…it's like stuck."
"I want to help." She looked at her, tears brimming in her big brown eyes.
"You are helping. You're here."
"Maybe you should talk to Cedric. You went to him the last time."
"He practically forced me to confront things. I don't think that would help this time. I don't want him to know…I don't want him to look at me the way everyone else does. Like I'm broken or something…"
"Is that what you think? Ky, I don't look at you as if you're broken. Every time I look at you, I see you in that hospital bed, pale as death with skin temperature to match and I just thank the Founders that you are OK. That you're safe. That you came back in one piece. That you're whole."
"I don't know Mi…it's complicated."
She laughed a very un-Mi like laugh, "I'll call you a lot of things Ky. Reckless. A danger to society. Immature. I never thought coward would be one of them. He is confronting the unknown tomorrow. I know it's just a tournament and you'll have other times to talk to him but…at least let him walk in there knowing that one person in the stands believes in him wholeheartedly."
Ky traced invisible shapes on her knee as Mi spoke, considering her next question. She knew once voicing it, she couldn't turn back… "What about Harry?"
She made sure to observe her friend as she asked the question, who took in a long breath, picking her words carefully. It then occured to Ky that Mi had always been very supportive of Ky pursuing Cedric… even though they had once spoken of her crush on Harry… and then never brought that up again….
Mi was saved from sharing her thoughts though when a voice floated from the direction of the portrait hole,
"What about me?"
Harry stood there, frowning, looking between the two of them. Mi sputtered struggling for a lie that Ky was sure she would execute poorly.
She turned and stood, taking in Harry levelly. This was their first interaction since she ran away from him last night after he told her how important her friendship was to him.
"What would you think if I dated Cedric?"
"Diggory?" Ky observed his face carefully, but it betrayed nothing.
"No, the Entertainer. Who else?"
"I would say thanks."
"What?"
"Well, your dating Diggory will free Cho up, wouldn't it?"
Ky placed a smile on her face, "Well I guess that settles that. What were you doing out so late?"
"Practicing my shield charm…. stupefy".
Ky erected a shield charm quickly, cocking her eyebrow as his face pulled into concentration.
"See I don't get it. The way you execute it looks completely different from the way the book describes."
Ky nodded, "That's because the shield Charm was invented by Gregory the Grand. Self-titled by the way. Anything invented by old Greg is much more flamboyant than need be, you just need to know which steps to take out. I played around with it and the second diagonal slash and that double flick at the end isn't necessary, try it without that." She turned to Mi, "See I read, it just has to be interesting stuff like that and not droll about Yardley the Foul."
She opened her mouth to correct Ky as Harry constructed a shield charm, looking more solid than ever. Ky flung a rictusempra at him,
"Ky!" Mi looked at her sternly.
She returned her look with one of innocence, "What? I was just checking if it works?"
-x-x-x-
…he knelt before her, slowly slipping the mask up. He kissed her knee, and then her thigh and she emitted a sigh. He pushed her legs apart and she looked down. She ran her hands through his hair, pulling him towards her. He smirked and pulled off the rest of his mask…
Ky ran down the passage, for once wishing she owned a watch. She just got out of the History of Magic exam, and knew that dinner would start soon. She ran flat out, jumped the last few steps and then stopped… spotting him.
Cedric was with his parents outside the Great Hall. Ky remembered his father, and that must be his mother. He had her hair. And there stood Chang, smiling sweetly up at him. He hugged his mother, shook his father's hand, and then decided on a hug. Chang gave him a sweet peck on his cheek.
Part of Ky wanted to turn and run away, but the bigger part, the one that wanted to prove to Mi that she wasn't a coward, stood her ground.
"Ky?"
She snapped around, "Linus?"
Her brother smiled at her, holding up two sub sandwiches, "Have time for a walk?"
"For you? All the time in the world." She teased, a phrase he'd often use on her as a kid, when she'd poke her head into his office wanting his attention. She slipped her hand in his and took her sub, rolling her eyes at the flock of girls grinning at her brother as they descended the grand staircase.
"How was your exam?"
"Finished." She stated, clearly not wanting further questions, "You come to watch the Third Task?"
"No, I was just popping by. Oh hello!" Linus waved warmly at someone, and Ky turned, spotting Bill, Mrs Weasley and Harry. They must have come to support him, which was very kind. They had just walked in from the grounds, heading to the Great Hall.
"I'd ask you to join us for dinner but I see you're sorted." Bill smiled at Linus.
"What's that?" Harry asked.
"Only the best sandwhiches in the world! Pisillo's!" Ky took a hearty bite of her sub to emphasise her point. She caught Harry's amused expression. "Do you want a bite?"
"Do you want to share?" He chuckled in disbelief.
She faked a thoughtful expression, "With you? Sure."
Harry's face had pinked up as they noticed Linus' eyes flickering out of his conversation with the Weasleys', his attention half on them, but Ky held out the sandwich earnestly, so Harry leaned forward and took a bite.
"Good Godric." His eyes widened, chewing slowly, a bit of sauce trickling down his chin.
Ky licked her lips, restraining the urge to lick anything else.
Linus cleared his throat, "We should go."
Harry stole another bite of the sub, and Mrs Weasley handed him a tissue and he quickly wiped at his mouth.
"Good luck for later, Harry." Linus nodded, and he returned it with a smile, scratching the back of his neck nervously and walking into the Hall with Bill and Mrs Weasley.
Her brother watched her with a glint in his eye as they walked down the front steps. They were almost at the lake and he was still observing her silently.
"What?"
He shrugged, "I've just never seen you share food before."
"I share food." She said defensively.
"You bit my hand when I tried to steal a French fry off your plate once."
"So I had a biting phase. I was a kid."
"That was last year."
She rolled her eyes, finishing her sandwhich mildly annoyed that Linus was making a big deal out of this.
It wasn't a big deal.
"So…are you two like…" Ky's eyes widened, not expecting this conversation, distracting herself by throwing a bit of bread out for the Giant Squid who lazily took the piece.
See.
She totally shared food.
"Are you?"
"What?" She groaned.
"Dating?"
"Harry?!" She said, hearing the overt defenciveness in her voice. "No! Just because I shared food with him does not mean we're dating. By that logic, I'd be practically engaged to the Giant Squid."
Ky thought her brother was stifling a smile and that annoyed her.
"Fine." He raised his hands, "And it's not because of the food. It's because of his speech when you were… not well."
She could tell the memory of her being in the hospital pained Linus, and she leaned her head on his shoulder to comfort them both, "His speech?"
Ky glanced up at him, and caught the abashed look on Linus' face, "I might have threatened to take you back to New York."
"I might have heard that." She said, glaring at her brother despite throwing her hands around his waist and he tucked her into his side; Linus was taking in the castle from this distance and Ky was enjoying feeling safe in her brother's arms so much she only just processed what he said. "Wait, Harry spoke to you when I was having my mental vacation?"
"Made a very convincing argument in favour of you remaining in Hogwarts. Suspiciously convincing, one might say." He turned, that half-amused look on his face.
"We're friends."
"I didn't say anything." He vanished their now empty wrappers and Ky unravelled from him as he put his hands in his pockets, a faux innocent look on his face,"Do you have any not-friends."
"Sure. A few." Ky shrugged and Linus' brows rose, no longer amused, "A girl should have at least three enemies at any given time, or she's just being lazy."
He laughed, shaking his head, "You know what I mean."
Ky groaned, "No. I don't know." She wrinkled her nose, turning back to the lake, "Are we really talking about boys?"
"I mean, girls are fine too of course. I don't want to assume anything."
She laughed, shaking her head, let out a big sigh, "How did you know Nessie was the one?"
His eyes widened, clearly not prepared for the subject detour, and he looked at the lake as if the answer may be swimming there, "I don't know that she is." He shrugged, "It's why we keep postponing, really. I really adore her, and she's really understanding, I'm not exactly ideal husband material, and that has nothing to do with you." He added on quickly, "I work a lot. I'm stubborn. Not good at talking about my feelings."
"Oh jeez, it's genetic." She grumbled.
He laughed, "No, actually. Mamma and papa were all feeling." Ky's eyes widened momentarily, surprised at the mention of her parents. They never spoke about them. "They were disgustingly in love you know. Amore this and Cuore that. He says it was love at first sight, which makes sense, she was so beautiful." He sighed, "God I loved her. You don't look like her, you take after papa but sometimes," He shook his head, staring at the water, "You laugh like her. She was playful. And she always knew the exact right thing to say." He turned, his eyes widening and quickly pulling Ky into him, "Oh principessa. I'm sorry."
Ky loathed that she was crying, she was so happy that he was actually talking about their parents after years of refusing to but she was so riddled with guilt whenever she thought of her mother. She clutched his shirt, mopping her tears on the front of it, "I don't know how you don't hate me."
"Hate you?"
"For killing her."
Linus pushed her off him and bending awkardly to make eye contact, his large hands on her neck, holding her head up, "Look at me. She would have died a thousand deaths for you." He pulled her into his arms again and Ky tried desperately to compose herself. She didn't know where this was coming from. She was pretty good at not thinking about any of this. "And I couldn't hate you. Not even for a second."
She felt kisses on her head and she cuddled closer to him, "The truth is I've really breen struggling. I can't sleep. I don't know how to make this better for you."
She took in a deep breath of cold air and pulled away from her brother, "I don't think you can. I think I can though."
"I think you can too." He wiped quickly at his face with the back of his hand, and they were silent for a bit, both taking long deep breaths.
"So." He cleared his throat, "Why are you thinking about 'The One.'"
Ky rolled her eyes, exasperated, but thankfully composed, "You don't miss a thing do you?"
"I wish I did, principessa." He sighed, "So… is it a choice between Harry and the Malfoy kid?"
"Draco! Godric No. I only went on that date with him to piss off his parents."
He sniggered, "Somehow, that checks out. Severus says that he has seen you with that other Triwizard Champion Pomona's always going on about, but that can't be true because he's seventeen. Right?"
She laughed at the hopeful look on his face, "How is seventeen too old. Len dates eighteen year olds!"
"Eighteen and Twenty-One is completely different to Fourteen and Seventeen."
"I'll be fifteen in a week." She narrowed her eyes, "Are you forbidding me from dating him?"
"God no, I'm not an idiot, forbid you and I might as well sign your marriage certificate while I'm at it." She swatted her brother's arm, "Look, all I'm saying is, I don't think you know when someone is The One. I think it's a feeling thing." Linus shrugged, "And statistically speaking, you're not meeting The One at fourteen. And there's always the much better option." She questioned him with her eyes, "Picking Ky. Being single. It's very underrated."
She snorted, "You're dying inside."
"I hate this so much."
"Well thank you, you're being very un-Linus about all of this, and I appreciate that."
He nodded, turning her around and walking back towards the castle.
"You know I'm surprised. I've never known you to be indecisive about your feelings. I've always been a bit jealous of you and Lenzo for that trait."
"I'm not confused about my feelings."
"Oh? So?"
"So?"
"Who's 'The One?'"
She laughed, walking backwards towards the castle so she could look at her brother, wagging her eyebrows at him playfully, "Who do you think?"
He sighed, "I think I'm not going to like whatever this answer is."
-x-x-x-
Ky left her brother at her grandfather's office, reflecting on their conversation. Night was closing in, and the task would be starting soon.
She fingered her locket and leaned against the wall, wondering if jumping in was a good idea.
She ran her hand over the metal and then laughed, when did she ever not dive right in? She took things by leaps and bounds, and that's how it should be.
She turned and smiled.
And then stopped.
There he was.
This was where they first met…almost a year ago.
"Harry."
He turned, flustered, he was late, fidgetting with his right sneaker. He had changed from his school robes, and now wore a track suit. "Going down?"
She nodded as he straightened up, finally winning his fight with his shoelace but she grabbed his arm, stopping him.
His brows furrowed, and his anxiety was quickly replaced for concern.
"Ky, are you okay?"
"Thank you."
His concern turned to confusion.
She stepped closer to him, as he did the same, they were so close that the toes of her sneakers sat between his.
"Linus told me that you went to bat for me. That you convinced him to bring me back to Hogwarts."
He swallowed, and she could hear it as much as she could see it, "I thought that's what you would have wanted."
She reached forward, her hand on his chest, staring at her fingers to avoid his eyes, feeling his heart patter, "How do you always know what I want?"
His hand covered hers, and her eyes jerked up, catching his steady gaze. He was silent for fifteen heartbeats.
She felt them thunder beneath her fingertips.
She removed her hand and his lips dipped down at this, but she looped her locket off, stood on her toes and put it over him, and tucked it in his shirt.
"This locket brought me safely to you all those months ago." She cleared her throat, just realising what she said.
Safely to him…
"What do I want now, Harry?"
He swallowed, his mouth falling open slightly, his warm breath on her forehead.
"For me to come back to… safely. To come out of the maze safely, I mean."
She closed her eyes, glad at this close proximity and their height difference he couldn't really see her face.
She stepped back, "Full marks. Now, don't disappoint me."
And before she could second guess herself, she kissed him softly on the cheek.
Harry's face was almost the same shade as his shirt, "I'm glad we're friends again, Ky."
His eyes were sincere, and her breath came out shakily.
"I'm glad we're friends too."
-x-x-x-
"Hey."
She had walked down to the basement.
Cedric was talking to his group of friends, and he nodded them off, leading her off to the side for privacy.
"Thanks for coming."
She nodded, "I was going to anyway." Cedric had sent one of his little messenger Puffs asking for Ky's audience before the task.
"Was that your brother, earlier? Spotted you both at the lake, but didn't think after the other day it would be appropriate to say hello. But I wanted to."
She smiled, "Yes. That was Linus." She stepped forward, "So, what do you want?"
He could tell she meant it at its deapest meaning.
"You."
She let out a sigh, he made it all so simple, didn't he?
"I'm not sweet. I won't smile up at you all gooey eyed. I won't laugh at your jokes if you're not funny and I won't go easy on you in a duel. I don't expect you to walk me to class and I will definitely hurt you if you ever attempt to carry my books. Also, my friends are really, really important to me, and anybody in my life will have to respect that they're a non-negotiable." His eyes narrowed a bit at that, knowing she was referencing an old fight, but he didn't interrupt her, "I'm…. not fine. I won't be for a while. But I'm not broken either. I'm different. Not worse, not better, just different. And I will swallow poison before I say the word girl…you know what, aloud. Call me your lover, your special friend, even your woman, but not that. So there. You still want in?
He opened his mouth, but Ky cut across, "Oh wait one more thing. I never dated Malfoy, or indulged in any dating related acts. I looked the way I did that night because we got into a fight. Not with each other, some other people. Hence-"
He held a finger up to her lips and she stopped. Ky was blabbering, since when did she blabber? It must be the fact that she had to use Bobby's shampoo this morning, its contaminating her brain. "What made you change your mind?"
He looked down at her with an intensity she couldn't help shying away from, she looked down and he tilted her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye. "A dream… I guess."
"You dreamed of me?" He smirked down at her.
"Oh please, let's not pretend you've never dreamed of me! Most of them are probably terribly X-rated. I bet you couldn't tell me one right now."
He had the decency to blush slightly, "I am a guy…. we don't dream of running in the meadows and twirling in the park."
Ky smiled naughtily up at him, "And you think I dream of things like that?"
He pulled her to him by her waist, her breath caught slightly, but she calmed her heart down. It still remained high, but that must be due to his close proximity. She was safe. He smiled down at her, "What exactly is it that you dream of then?"
"Ced?"
They both whipped around but he didn't let go of her. A boy stood at the top of the stairs, biting back a smile. Ky thought she had seen him with Cedric before. "They're waiting for you, mate." He nodded at her and turned away.
Cedric turned back to Ky with a huge smile. "No matter how badly I want to waltz you out in front of everybody right now…I can't. I need to-"
"I know, sort things with Chang." Ky closed the distance between them and leaned against his chest, looking up at him, "Just remember, nobody is going to be shouting as loud as I am. I mean this is the perfect excuse to scream at the top of my lungs, I couldn't pass up that opportunity now, could I?"
"I can think of many more opportunities that you can get to scream at the top of your lungs, and I assure you, you'd like them much better."
She blushed like an idiot at that, knowing that he was joking but still… she lifted her head and looked at him; the smile he gave her was so sincere. She went on her tip toes and ascended the stairway to those long lips.
The stairway jammed though, Ky looked down at the hand on her shoulder, and looked back at him, slightly cross. Something about the situation made him laugh and that made her descend into outright anger.
"Calm down…believe me, I want to. I, however, don't want our first kiss to be like this, I'm still with Cho. Once I'm out of that maze, I'll find her and sort things out. And then I'll find you and you best be puckered up Beautiful."
The boy came back, "Ced, seriously, almost everyone is down."
Cedric let go of her, "I have to go."
Ky reached up and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, "Good luck. Don't hurt that face, you know I like my men pretty."
"I am ruggedly handsome."
"Sure, you are." He held her hand all the way to end of the corridor, letting go at the last second, he ran up the stairs. He stopped and turned around, "You will be there when I get out right?"
"Front and centre. Even if I can't hug you or anything, I'll be there."
"Thank you, Kid."
And just like that he was off.
Ky leaned against the wall, hoping her face wasn't too red. That didn't go badly; she didn't panic when he touched her. Well, she did kind of, but she controlled it quickly and in time that won't even happen.
She touched her neck, feeling an emptiness in the place that her locket usually sat but had nothing to do with the absence of the trinket.
A/N: Thank you for reading! What do you think of Ky's decision-making in this chapter? Would love to hear your thoughts!