Chapter 28: To Find Myself

I Don't Own Ben 10 or Any of the Respective Characters, The Rights Belong to Man of Action Studios and Cartoon Network

Author's Note:

* Hello and welcome to Chapter 28!

* Unfortunately, I don't really have anything I can say about this chapter, so I'll just leave you guys to it!

Ben

Sunday, May 13th, 2018

The Tennyson House

At some point during the night, I had cried myself to sleep. I sat up, saw my foot wrapped in an ACE bandage and immediately remembered the events of last night.

Right. That happened.

I sat up and swung my legs around to the edge of the bed. I then put my feet on the floor and stood up. To my surprise, I was able to walk on my foot with only a minor ache in it. I proceeded to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

Sometime Later

I had made up my mind. I was going to leave Bellwood once Mom and Dad got back home. I didn't know where I was going or for how long I would be gone yet, I just needed to be away from Gwen for a while. My thought process was that if I spend enough time away from her, then I wouldn't think about her as much. And by that junction, these pesky "feelings" would go away. Hopefully.

After breakfast, I sat on the couch and iced my ankle for a while, like Gwen had recommended last night. After about half an hour of that, I got back up, put the ice pack away and returned to my bedroom. I began packing my bags. I didn't need much. Mainly clothes and hygiene essentials. I hadn't been packing for very long before Mom and Dad got home. I heard the front door unlock and open just after noon.

"Ben, we're home!" Mom called from the living room.

I didn't say anything in return. I didn't know what to say. So, I just continued to pack my things. This didn't last very long. After maybe thirty seconds or so, I heard footsteps walk into my room.

"Ben?" Mom asked. "You didn't answer our greeting."

"Yeah, sorry. I heard you, I just didn't know what to say."

"Okay?"

I heard her walk further into the room.

"You're packing bags? Are you going to a—"

I thought she might ask if I was going to a friend's house, but she stopped midsentence.

"Those are a lot of bags. Ben, where are you going?"

I turned to look at her with a blank expression.

How was I supposed to tell my mother that I was leaving home? How could I avoid making them both feel like they were bad parents? I think the honest answer was that I couldn't. I could try, sure, but they may end up feeling that way, anyway.

"I have to go." I finally said in a solemn tone.

"Go where? How long do you plan to be gone?"

There was now a very noticeable look of concern and even fear in her eyes. I didn't know what to say. But that look on her face immediately told me what she was thinking. And it was the one thing that I didn't want her to be thinking.

"Mom, don't freak out." I said in the most reassuring tone that I could muster.

It didn't work.

"Carl, get in here!"

"Mom, I—"

"Shush."

She cut me off before turning to look at my bedroom door, waiting for Dad to walk down the hall. A couple of seconds later, he appeared in my doorway and walked into the room with us.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Ben's leaving!"

"He's leaving? Where's he going? Where are you going, son?"

Mom raised her voice at Dad, who didn't seem to get the picture.

"Carl, I think he's running away!"

Now Dad had the same worried (but less so) look on his face that Mom did.

"Why? Why would you—"

Mom spun around to look at me and as she cut him off, I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Did we do something wrong?!"

This was the response that I had feared. I raised my hands in a feeble attempt to reassure them.

"No, you guys didn't do anything wrong! I—"

She cut me off and grabbed my wrist.

"Come along." She said as she fought against the tears.

She pulled me out of my room and led me down the hall, as Dad led the way. Upon entering the living room, she sat me down on the couch and sat down next to me, holding my hand the whole time. She took a deep breath as she wiped the tears from her face with her free hand.

"You say you're not running away. Okay, fine. What's going on? Why do you want to leave?"

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just tell them the truth and reveal that I was catching feelings for Gwen. My own cousin. Nope, not a good idea. So, I had to improvise on the fly.

"I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I feel lost without any destination to get to. In order to find myself, I have to leave."

She looked relieved as I said that.

"That's why you want to leave? If that's the case, then you don't have to go anywhere! We can figure out everything together!"

I shook my head.

"You don't understand. Staying here won't get me anything. This is something I have to do on my own."

"No, you're not leaving, Benjamin! We won't let you!"

"I'm eighteen years old. An adult now, Mom. You can't stop me."

She turned to look at Dad.

"Carl, tell him that he can't leave!"

He looked at her, then at me and back at her again.

"He's right, Sandra. He's an adult and we have no control over him. If he wants to leave, then he can leave. There's nothing you can do."

She turned to look back at me and I saw the tears in her eyes welling up again.

"No, you're not leaving! I won't allow you to!"

That's all she got out before she put her face in her hands and began to cry. Dad got up and sat down on the arm of the couch behind her, before putting an arm on her shoulder.

"Sandra, I know you're upset. But this is what he wants and we have to honor that."

She just shook her head.

"He's my baby boy!" she sobbed.

I let out a sigh before I tried to explain myself again.

"Mom, I'm sorry that you're upset, but I'll gain nothing by staying here. Don't you want what's best for me? Do you really want to see me mope around here all summer long because I have no idea what to do with myself?"

She shook her head again.

"No."

"Then you must let me go. It's the only way that I'll be able to figure myself out."

She began to rub the tears from her eyes and finally looked back at me again.

"Where will you go?"

I hadn't actually given that part any thought yet. So, naturally, I had no answer. I shrugged.

"I'll travel around. Maybe even leave the state."

"Leave the state—"

That seemed to trigger a flare up within her again, but she didn't allow herself to start crying again.

"No, no, I'm not going to cry."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"How ever do you plan to support yourself?"

"I'll get a job and make money like anyone else would."

"You have no job experience!"

"That's what entry level jobs are for."

She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked frustrated.

"Where will you live? You can't exactly sleep in your car every night. That wouldn't be safe!"

"I'll find a cheap apartment complex to live in, one that isn't too sketchy. That way I'll be safe and I'll be able to make my money last longer."

"How will you afford rent?"

"I use my graduation money to get me started. And I'll make money while I work, so—"

She didn't even let me finish my sentence.

"Your graduation money should be used for a down payment on a nicer car or as a start on college tuition or—"

This time it was my turn to interrupt.

"Well, it's money that I got for my graduation. So, while I respect your opinion, it's not your call."

I expected that she would have something to say about that, but Dad spoke before she could.

"Give it a rest, Sandra. We can't hold him here. He'll make all the best decisions he can."

She shook her head again.

"I'll ask you again to stay."

"No, Mom. I can't. There's nothing for me here right now."

I saw her get teary-eyed again, but she didn't start to cry.

"You're not running away?"

I shook my head.

"I'm not running away. I will come back. I just need some time away from home until I can figure out what I want to do with my life."

She still looked uncertain and eventually, she turned her head away from me.

"Fine, go if you must."

She didn't say anything else. That made me feel a bit convinced that she didn't really believe what I was saying. I moved over so that I could look at her face, despite her looking away from me.

"You do understand that I'm not running away, that this has nothing to do with how the two of you raised me and that I don't think you guys are bad parents?" I asked. "Right?"

It took a couple of seconds, but she nodded.

"Yes."

"Good."

She turned her head and looked back at me.

"When were you going to leave?"

"In an hour, if you let me."

There was once again a look of despair on her face.

"An hour? But you can't—"

She may have been about to refuse to let me leave again, but she stopped herself.

"At least stay for lunch?"

I didn't want to stay any longer. The longer I stayed here, the bigger a risk I had of having to face Gwen again. And in fear of my own "feelings", I didn't want that to happen. Nevertheless, I found myself nodding.

"Okay."

She smiled, the first genuine smile on her face since this conversation started. But even so, that positivity could only do so much. Because when the happiness would eventually die down, the realization that I was leaving would be left hanging heavily in the air.

One Hour Later

I stayed just long enough to eat lunch with Mom and Dad. The atmosphere was bittersweet. We talked and did our best to skirt around the topic of me leaving, but eventually, the meal had to end. And with it, the last of my time at home. So, we got up from the table and they waited by the front door as I began carrying my bags out to my car. They offered to help me, but I politely turned them down. Before I was ready to leave, Mom called me back over to the front stoop, so I obeyed and walked over to her.

"What is it?" I asked.

"If you're going to be doing this, then we need to set some 'ground rules', so to speak."

I saw this as her coming off as a bit overprotective again, but seeing as I was their only son and that this could potentially be the last time I ever saw them, I respected the notion that she just wanted me to be safe.

"Alright, what did you have in mind?"

"First of all, you will call your father and I every day."

I nodded.

"Okay."

"And you will be safe."

"Okay."

"And you won't accept gifts from strangers."

"Okay."

"And you won't do anything me or your father wouldn't do."

At this point, I was a little sick of her lecturing me, so I decided to cut her off early.

"Mom, I understand your concern, but I promise I will be fine. I won't make stupid decisions and I'll know how to take care of myself."

She looked back at me with a certain look in her eyes and I could tell that she didn't like how I had interrupted her. However, she didn't state her disdain for it.

"Well, then I guess that's all we have to talk about. Now, give me a hug and go hug your father before you leave."

I did as she asked and as I was going to find Dad, I noticed a car pull up to the curb. It was Gwen's.

Oh, no. This is exactly the kind of thing that I had wanted to avoid.

She got out of the car and I immediately saw the unhappy look on her face.

Well, looks like this is happening whether I like it or not.

She marched right up to me and greeted me with a demanding question.

"How come you never told me that you were leaving?!"

Did Mom actually call Gwen in a last ditch effort to make me stay?

I waved my question away and answered hers.

"Sorry, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. I didn't make the decision until last night."

This didn't ease the look on her face.

"Okay, but why are you leaving?"

And so I told her everything that I had told my parents. She had questions, sure, and I did the best to answer them. After all was said and done, she asked me another question.

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"I don't know."

She just stared at me for a few seconds before replying.

"Let me come with you. I'll go home and pack my bags right now. It'll only take half an hour."

I shook my head without thinking.

"No."

She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Why?"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand feeling lost in your own life. I have to do this."

"But you don't have to do this alone! Maybe I can help somehow!"

"I don't want help. The only person who can help me is me."

She once again looked sad but didn't protest this time.

"I'll call you every day."

I didn't like the sound of that. The whole point of me leaving Bellwood was to put some distance between me and my "feelings" for a while.

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"Okay."

After that, I didn't know what else to say and apparently, neither did she. I scratched the back of my neck as I tried to find my words.

"Well, I suppose I better get on with this."

I went to hug Mom one last time and then hugged my father. I would have hugged Gwen, too, but it would've felt awkward. I was just about to walk past her and to my car, when to my surprise, she suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand, forcing me to a stop.

"Wait!" she cried out.

I turned to look at her with a surprised expression and before I could ask her what was wrong, she began frantically speaking.

"Don't leave! Just stay! Talk to me and I'll listen! I swear I'll listen to anything you have to say! Let me help you with whatever you're dealing with, just don't leave!"

She was desperate. I could hear it in her voice. However, I couldn't accept her request. Me staying couldn't end well. It wouldn't end well. So, I just shook my head as a sad look of my own came to pass.

"I'm sorry, but no. I have to go."

She looked really upset but nonetheless, she nodded as if she understood. Not before pulling me into a bear hug, though.

"Be careful." She whispered.

"I will." I promised.

She then let go, freeing me from her grip. I walked the rest of the way to my car and got it. I waved to my three family members, then I was off. I tried my best not to look back.

Author's Note:

* And that's it for this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed!

* I'm sure that the outcome presented in this chapter, that being Ben deciding to leave Bellwood due to his feelings, is not what most of you wanted. But don't be upset just yet. Ben isn't leaving Bellwood forever and seeing as I've already plotted out the first hundred chapters or so, he will only be away from Bellwood for less than a year of real life time. That may sound like a bit much, but I promise that I'll make it interesting. Just bear with me.

* Anything else I haven't brought up that you'd like to ask about? You can leave a review or send me a PM with any questions you may have. That's going to do it for me, I'm going to go. Have a fantastic day and bye.

Review Responses

adriandragonus (Chapter 27): Wow, Gwen rejected Kevin's like "I'm not going to do what my Alien Force self did!" XD probably she came from the Ben 10 reboot universe. And kudos for not having Ben and Gwen be a pair this early. They need to catch up to each others more, and not just about their feelings. And if I'm remembering correctly, you still haven't told us why Julie broke up with Ben. Maybe she sensed Ben's attention to Gwen? Do you plan to address it, or do you want the readers to keep on guessing?

Thanks, Adrian. Yes, she did reject Kevin like that, I suppose. Oh God, don't even mention the Ben 10 reboot. Anyway, thanks for commending me on choosing to keep Ben and Gwen single for now. No, I have not revealed why Julie broke up with Ben and I do plan to. But there is a planned time and chapter for this reveal, so it will be a while, unfortunately. But having readers guess about this topic isn't my motive. Most plot reveals, including this one will happen at certain parts of Ben's character arc as the story progresses, if that makes sense. Thanks for the review, as always.

Next Chapter: Ben finds himself settling down on the West Coast. He starts to settle in and finds a surprise from Gwen.