Chapter 7: Secrets and Lies…to Stay Alive

"Lies!" Snow snarled as his first slammed hard on the desk. I kept my head held high and smiled.
"We share the same eyes, Coriolanus Snow" I pointed out. He stood from his position at his desk and hovered over me, leaning back slightly when Haymitch stood up from where he had been leaning on the armrest. From the corner of my eye, I could see Haymitch's hands in fists, ready to strike out if Snow stepped out of line.
"Lucy Gray never had my child" he yelled.
"She was pregnant when you two were planning to run away, but she got spooked and ran off" I told him, staying in my seat.
"No. When she left, I shot her and she died. But not before she left a little gift for me in the form of one of her precious snakes" Snow snarled, taking another step closer to me, but Haymitch did too, keeping himself between Snow and I.
"She got grazed, but she survived. She found somewhere safe to have her daughter; Nadia, and then once Nadia was 19, she was free to join the district. She met my father, and when she was 25, she had me. Because everyone in District 12 knew of me, I couldn't be hidden on Reaping Day" I explained, standing up so I was directly behind Haymitch. He was taller than me though by a solid 8 inches. Snow turned and paced behind his desk. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Was he concerned about this news? Would he try and buy my silence? Would he parade me around as his victor? I wouldn't let him, but was that his hope? He finally stopped pacing and stared me down.
"You'll tell nobody about this" Snow demanded, "you are an orphan from 12, Lucy is irrelevant and you are nothing to me" he snarled. I nodded in agreement.
"I wouldn't want to be tied to you anyways" I shrugged, "but what's in this for me?" I folded my arms across my chest and waited for him to process. I was in control here, I had information that he didn't want leaked. This was a huge secret that could break him. But what could I bribe from him?
"You'll keep your mouth shut, or I'll kill him" Snow pointed at Haymitch, "and that stupid little blonde woman that escorts 12 around, and that lady from the Hob; Hattie?" Snow smirked, my face fell. My heart dropped to my stomach.
"You can't kill Haymitch, he's a Victor" I warned, "Effie is a resident of the Capitol and has nothing to do with any of this, she and I aren't even friends. As for Hattie, I don't even know who she is" I lied, not wanting him to know how much he was getting to me.
"You're cousin is Burdock Everdeen, and the Covey are still your family" Snow continued, trying to blackmail my silence. I stepped around Haymitch so I was directly in front of Snow.
"If you cause anything to happen to another member of the Covey, including Burdock or his family, I'll tell the whole world about the 10th Games, and everything that Gran told me happened after that" I warned, offering my hand to accept his bargain. He smirked before shaking my hand.
"Remember, silence Miss Baird" he told me.

Once we were back in the tribute centre, Haymitch spun to face me.
"What the hell was that?" he demanded loudly. "You're Snow's granddaughter?" he asked. I took a breath to calm myself before answering.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but there's a few reasons why. First and foremost being that he's a monster and I'm ashamed to be related to him, and the second is that he murdered Lenore and so many others that got in his way" I explained, trying to help him understand my reasoning. He rubbed his face with his hands and then shook his head.
"I trusted you" he breathed, "I trusted you, and you lied to me" he snapped.
"I didn't lie about anything! You never asked, and I didn't want to face telling you. He's a monster, I'm related to a monster" I cried, pleading for understanding. Effie picked that moment to walk up to us in the corridor.
"Everything alright over here?" she asked, her bright smile still plastered on her face, trying to be the prim and proper Capitol resident. Haymitch was still glaring at me, while I had tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Peachy" Haymitch snapped sarcastically.
"Haymitch" I pleaded, grabbing his arm. He shrugged me off.
"Don't touch me" he yelled, then headed for his room. Effie looked between where Haymitch had disappeared, and me. She pulled me in for a hug and rubbed soothing circles in my back.
"He'll come around" Effie promised.
"I don't know this time, Effie" I sobbed.
"What happened in that office?"
"I told Snow that he's my Grandfather, and he blackmailed me into keeping silent about it. But Haymitch, he sees this as a betrayal, all because I didn't tell him sooner" I cried. Effie pulled back to look at me.
"Is it the truth? Are you related to him?" I nodded, and Effie wiped the tears from my eyes. "Let him process this, Snow arranged Lenore's death and the death of Haymitch's mother and younger brother" Effie reminded me. I knew this, of course I knew about this. But it still hurt to be reminded of the fact that I was related to someone so evil.

The night came too quickly, and I was rushed off to see Julius for my interview. Effie and Kall stayed with me as I prepared. My anxiety skyrocketing at the knowledge that anything I say, could be twisted by Snow into a different context that would allow him to hurt those I love. Just as I was about to step out on stage, Haymitch showed up with a glass of scotch in hand. He was drunk.
"Good luck out there, Baird" he muttered, then took a sip of his drink. I shook my head at him and looked to Effie.
"Haymitch, let's go take our seats. Willow needs time to prepare herself" Effie told him. Haymitch glared at me before leaving with Effie, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. I looked to Kall for comfort, and he hugged me.
"You're beautiful, and strong and smart. You've got this" Kall told me, then pulled me to arm's length. "Now go out there and show them who you are" he smiled. Julius announced my name and I stepped out on stage.

"Now Willow, how did it feel when you woke up to it being the final six?" Julius asked. My anger rose to the surface, but I tapered it down.
"I had hope, for the first time in days that things might work out the way I'd planned" I replied, not adding in that my plan was to screw over the audience by not giving them a show.
"And when you realised it was just you, and Goldinia from District 1?"
"I was scared, District 1 are trained how to win. I was concussed, hungry, and had a broken rib" I told the audience, and they chuckled, thinking this was entertaining.
"And at the end?"
"At the end I knew my only chance was to make her think I was dead, so I went limp in Goldinia's hold and when she dropped me, it gave me a chance for my vision to clear. I saw my dagger and…" my chest burned, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My hands clutched at my chest as my breath came in short pants.
"Willow-Blue, are you alright?" Julius asked, putting a hand on my knee. I flinched away and ran from the stage as fast as I could, falling to my knees just past the curtain.
"Blue" Kall breathed as he spotted me.
"Get out the way" Haymitch grumbled, pushing spectators aside until he was kneeling in front of me.
"I can't breathe" I choked out, gripping the neckline of my dress.
"Yes, you can" Haymitch said firmly, his hand resting on top of mine that was holding my dress. He pried it from the neckline and held it tightly in his own hands. "Look at me" he instructed. I glanced up at his stormy blue eyes, hidden behind his blonde locks. He brushed his hair from his eyes with one hand, while still holding mine in the other.
"Give them some space" Effie instructed the crowd that had gathered around us.
"Breathe for me, Blue. In for four, hold for four and then out for four" he instructed, demonstrating as he spoke. I copied his breathing pattern until my chest stopped hurting and then closed my eyes.
"I'm a monster" I whispered. Haymitch rested his free hand on my cheek.
"You're not a monster, Blue. You're a survivor, like me" he said firmly. My eyes met his and he rested his forehead against mine.
"What now?" I whispered.
"Now we go home to 12, and we talk without all these cameras" he replied.