After spending the day with Matt, he bid his friend farewell once they were done with supper, and Tom returned to his quarters in the Scarlet Wing. Usually Tom would be antsy to get back to his laptop and work on his writing as soon as possible; but taking a break to spend some much needed quality time with Matt had been great. Their bond strengthened after years of being apart, and Matt even managed to shed some light in Tom's plight.
All and all, it been worth it.
Tom quietly entered Red Leader's office, but breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't find Tord sitting at his desk. He slipped into the bedroom and turned on his laptop to see if he could get any writing done before retiring to bed.
Help! ~ The tiny voice that whisper-screamed insistently in his mind made an appearance yet again. Help me! ~
Tom closed his eyes and focused on the tiny, pathetic voice. Who are you? Where are you? How can I help you?
Come look for me! Come find me! ~
Tom frowned. That doesn't tell me anything.
Hurry! I cannot hold on for much longer. ~
Are you in danger? Tom thought. Just tell me how I can get to you!
Head… East. ~ It murmured weakly. You'll know where to go from there. ~
"Thomas?"
The new soft spoken voice stirred Tom back to reality and he blinked open his digital eyes. Tom narrowed his eyes at Tord at first, only to gasp in surprise when his gaze landed on the bouquet of blue roses Tord was holding up to him.
"Oh? What's this?" Tom asked, flabbergasted.
Tord ducked his head in embarrassment, trying to hide his reddening face. "Uh, it's for you!" He blurted, nudging the bouquet closer. "I, um, I am aware I haven't been the nicest partner lately and I wanted to make it up to you."
Tom took the magnificent bouquet from him, leaning closer to smell the flowers. His enhanced sense of smell detected a soft sweet fragrance that made him sigh contently.
"I hope you like it. I wasn't sure what kind of flowers you liked, but I figured I couldn't go wrong with blue." Tord scratched the back of his head.
"These are… beautiful, Tord. Thank you." Tom breathed, genuinely touched by the gesture.
Tord smiled bashfully. "I'm glad to hear it."
"Where did you even get these flowers, may I ask?" Tom asked.
"Ah, I ordered them from a flower shop in Oslo. I paid extra to make sure they arrived today in excellent condition!" Tord replied. He pressed his hands together anxiously. "Actually… I was wondering if we could… Spend some time together? I know I know! Things haven't exactly been right with us lately, and I'm really sorry for the way I've mistreated you and Matt. But it's just- I missed you these last few years, and we haven't had any quality time together for ourselves since the night you arrived, and I was just wondering if you- I mean we could-"
"That's okay." Tom gently placed his hand on Tord's arm to try and soothe his nervousness. "I think that's a wonderful idea. What do you have in mind?"
It's so rare to see the great Red Leader so flustered. It was a very endearing sight to Tom. Though he still had his reservations about Tord, Tom remembered his earlier conversation with Matt at breakfast and decided to lend Tord an olive branch for now.
Tord smiled. "We could… Talk? Or watch a movie downstairs in Paul and Pat's quarters? I'm sure the pair won't mind us there, we'll just have to be quiet about it. Or maybe… Cuddle?"
Those all sound like excellent suggestions, but Tom had a better idea in mind.
He gently placed the bouquet of flowers on his chair and grabbed a hold of Tord's hands. Staring intently into the Norwegian's eye, Tom nodded for him to follow as he turned away and headed into the bathroom.
Tord blinked, wide eyed. Oh?
He sauntered into the bathroom after Tom, just in time to catch him undressing.
"Are we…?" Tord cleared his throat.
Tom chuckled. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Tord. We're just showering." He nodded at him. "Strip for me."
Face flushing crimson, Tord obeyed and shed his uniform off. When he was fully naked, Tord hesitated and looked at his robotic arm. While his prosthetic was waterproof it's always advisable to remove it when it comes to showers to avoid any sudden glitches. With a low sigh, Tord flipped the switch to maintenance mode and watched his arm go limp. He began to undo the clasps around the stump of his arm and carefully set his robotic arm on the counter.
Tom turned on the shower, fully naked with the exception of the visor. Once he was satisfied with the water temperature he fully immersed himself beneath the torrent of water. "Come in." He beckoned Tord over.
Tord entered the stall and was immediately dunked under the shower. He cringed, trying to blink open his eyes underneath the water cascading down on him.
"Turn around." Tom commanded. "Lower your head a little."
"Okay?" Tord did as he was told, and flinched with surprise when Tom started massaging his scalp with shampoo; expertly massaging the top of his head with capable, gentle fingers. Tord nearly melted with delight at his ministrations.
"Is this your way of saying I stink?" Tord mused.
"It wouldn't hurt you to remember to take more showers every now and then." Tom shot back.
Tord tipped his head back, leaning closer to Tom. "I would certainly remember to do so… If we shower like this from now on."
He was dunked under the stream of water yet again, with Tom massaging his scalp to rid his hair of the shampoo. Tord inwardly purred. He can't remember a time he was treated with such care and affection.
Tom took a luffa and a bar of soap and started scrubbing Tord, being careful when washing his sensitive scarred tissue. "I don't get how anyone can be so resistant to taking showers." He murmured quietly, half to himself.
"It's annoying to shower with just one arm." Tord said defensively, eyes closed with bliss.
Tom snorted. "You refused to take showers even back when we first started living together. Edd had to practically shout at you to take a shower. So what was your excuse then?" He slowed down, taking great care to wash the stump of Tord's severed arm.
Tord hesitated. "I just… I get easily sucked into my work, okay? I don't mean to skip showers, I just do!" He sighed. "I also hate wasting time with trivial matters."
"Showering and taking care of yourself are not wastes of time." Tom reprimanded. "Aren't you the one who always told me that?"
"Touché." Tord chuckled, preening under Tom's careful soft touches and attention as he washed him. "Your turn now." He said.
Tom's digital eyes wrinkled with amusement. "Okay." He sprayed a dollop of shampoo in Tord's waiting hand.
With the same gentle touch bestowed upon him, Tord began to massage his boyfriend's scalp with just one hand; fingers pressing down and rubbing small circles into his hair to spread the shampoo with more efficiency.
"But I must say, showering together like this… I could certainly get used to it." Tord grinned.
"I had a feeling you'd like it." Tom said. Between the two of them, they were touch-starved as sh#t. Of course showing Tord affection during his least favorite activity would incite positive feelings.
Tord took the bar of soap and luffa and started to scrub Tom's body, motioning him to turn every now and then.
"Edd responded to our message." Tord broke the silence after a while.
"I heard."
"We're going to meet two days from now." Tord went on. "Does this make you happy?"
Tom sighed. "Yes." This wasn't about whether it made Tom happy or not. It's about ending the war through peaceful means. Surely Tord must understand that?
"After tomorrow, I will be selecting who will be accompanying me to the meeting." Tord murmured. "You'll come, of course. Even if my Generals disagree, I know nothing is going to stop you from being a part of this."
"But I won't be in the meeting itself, will I?" Tom asked, a hint of bitterness laced in his voice. "Because of our deal."
Tord stared at him intently. "Yes."
"I figured." Tom breathed. "That's fine. Really. I just want you to focus on the meeting and try to make peace with the Rebellion. This war needs to end, Tord."
"I'll do everything in my power to make it so, Thomas." Tord scrubbed his back. "But if Edd doesn't comply with my demands then there's nothing I can do about it. We'll be at an impasse, and worst case scenario, we'll have to fight in the end. That's how wars work, I'm afraid."
"Promise me you won't lose your temper at the meeting?" Tom asked. "Please, whatever happens, you have to keep a cool head upon your shoulders and think about the world's wellbeing over the army's."
Tord scoffed. "I cannot guarantee that! As Red Leader, my duty is first and foremost to my army."
"Well, as the future leader of the entire world, your main concern should be ensuring that everyone is taken care of." Tom argued. "And that means ending a needless war when it gets out of hand."
They stared at each other for several heartbeats under the rampant sound of the shower water cascading down around them before Tord finally relented. "Fine. I will… try."
"Thank you." Tom breathed.
They both got under the warm jet stream of water to rid their bodies of the soap and shampoo, letting the conversation die off from there as they focused on washing themselves and each other.
The idea of being alone with Tom like this was so comforting. I missed him so much. Tord thought, looking fondly at his partner through half-lidded eyes. Things haven't exactly been the best between them lately, but its times like these that Tord could see the enormous hole Tom had left in his life when he went away all those years ago. Following Matt's advice surely paid off! He made a mental note to thank his friend later.
Tom turned off the shower and stepped off the stall, grabbing a towel for Tord and another for himself.
"Thank you, Tom." Tord breathed, elated. "That was a very pleasant experience." He moved away to put his robotic arm back on.
Tom merely grunted in acknowledgement.
Entering the bedroom, Tord put on gray sweatpants and a white shirt since he was retiring off to bed for the evening, and Tom retrieved his old blue hoodie and black sweatpants from his luggage.
"Do you," Tord hesitated. "Do you think we could… cuddle tonight?"
Tom considered his offer for several heartbeats. Tord should be above all else his beloved boyfriend first and foremost, even if his ambition gets in the way of their relationship sometimes. But can Tom really disregard the awful stuff he did to cuddle up to him in bed?
You're not responsible for his actions. Matt's words from earlier echoed in his mind.
No. I am not. Tom conceded. But can I really reward him for his behavior?
"Maybe some other time." Tom said abruptly. "I am really tired tonight."
"Oh." The glimmer of hope in Tord's eye died and he drooped with disappointment. "That's alright."
Whatever warmth there was between the two of them previously seemingly vanished as Tom got on the bed, huddled underneath the sheets and facing away from Tord.
The Norwegian man followed suit with a low sigh, setting himself next to Tom on the bed as he stared longingly at his boyfriend. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
"I love you." Tord said.
"... I love you, too…" Tom replied after a while. He closed his eyes in anguish. And that's why I will always be a terrible person.