"Dude, I'm so fuckin' bored."
Trace expresses his dismay on the other end of Keith's old loveseat, sitting back against the plump, tan cushions with his phone in hand. Even while talking, his thumb doesn't stop swiping up, and he only momentarily glances at Keith. The Basitin is lounging on the other end of the seat, elbow resting on a pillow being callously pushed into the armrest. He, too, is mindlessly scrolling, a large ear flicking in Trace's direction. They had been in that position for a length of time neither of them could guess. However, there was little else to do in Keith's cramped dorm room. The only other furniture there was his neatly-made bed and a desk that hosted a laptop and a modest stack of books. Unless they wanted to go through his already sorted clothes or see if they could chip paint off the white brick walls, there was little for them to do but share space as they scrolled their pages.
"I am open to ideas," Keith says. He can recall saying those exact words a dozen times before. He hears Trace grunt dismissively.
"I got nothing. Almost makes me want to see that stupid White Tiger movie again," Trace says.
"We can still go to the gym if you are really that desperate," Keith replies, throwing out the suggestion like a bucket of water towards a house fire. When Trace lets out an amused grunt, he can practically hear the excuses working through his head.
"Isn't it busy this time of day?" Trace asks. His thumb doesn't stop moving.
"Look, if working out isn't your thing, that's cool. We can figure out other things to do," Keith says. The sudden bluntness finally gets Trace to look up at his friend. "I just want you to be upfront about it. No need to step around this stuff with me."
Trace glances down at his phone, as if he's still tethered to the screen. But his eyes are on Keith now. Keith looks back at him with a serious look of sincerity. It's different from the deadpan expression the Basitin so often had; there is a softness in his eyes that puts Trace at ease. He didn't realize he was tense, but he feels his shoulders relaxing. That's why he so often hung out with Keith despite his empty room - Keith never stressed him out. With all the college courses he was taking, the companies contacting him, and the future looming over him like a hungry dragon, he needed someone who didn't pluck at his taut nerves. The only times he can remember Keith ever getting him worked up were when the Basitin was giving him a deserved scolding. But he knows Keith isn't scolding or judging him. Trace sighs, thumbing the power button on the side of his phone.
"Alright. I appreciate it," Trace says. He groans loudly as he stretches his arms and legs, finding some way to fill the space. As he settles back into the sofa, slouching even more than before, he sees Keith's eyes are back on his own screen. He glances at his own, contemplating tying off the loose end of this conversation. But if he's going to complain about being bored, the least he can do is try to get rid of that boredom.
"Well, I suppose we can always just… You know. Talk."
Keith's eyes are pulled away again as he processes the question for a moment.
"About what?"
"I don't know. What kind of things do normal people talk about?"
"You're asking me?"
"Ha, you're more normal than me, man. Most people don't try to line up an internship with the Magitech sect of the Templar their sophomore year."
"Well, most people have more than a couple friends."
Trace looks over to his friend to see him back on his phone. His eyes are on the screen, but his mind is clearly elsewhere. Trace frowns, leaning over a little to nudge Keith's foot with his hand.
"Hey, you'll meet more people. You're the most chill guy I know. Eventually people will just be drawn to your… Chillness."
When Keith looks back up at him, he tries to grin away his stumbling of words. He's pleased to see Keith give him a soft smile in return.
"Thanks, Trace."
"Anytime, bud."
"Well," Keith sighs, putting down his own phone. He turns to put his back against the armrest, facing Trace fully with his arms across his chest. "What do you think normal people talk about?"
Trace thinks for a moment, though he doesn't let his thoughts wander far. He has a few things on his mind that always seem to be there: school, work, and Flora. As far as he was aware, these are things most people thought about. So, perhaps he could adequately disguise this conversation as something mundane and casual. As soon as he thinks it, Trace chastises himself. This is Keith he's talking to; he can be open with him. How open he will be with him has yet to be seen, though. Trace feels his ears start to get warm at the thought. He recalls the conversations he and Flora had been having lately, and who he always thinks of when the topic comes up. He pushes it aside to quickly throw something out into the quiet.
"I think normal people talk about school," Trace says. "But not like, what they're actually learning. Just how they think they're doing, how their professor is shitty, and that cute girl who sits a couple rows down."
"Ha, well," Keith starts. "I don't suppose I have to ask you how you're doing in your classes."
He raises an eyebrow at Trace, who confirms his suspicions by raising his hands in a surrendering gesture.
"Mine are going okay," Keith continues. "Literature is a struggle and a half, but I've been doing well in the rest."
"Gods, I'm so glad I got those out of the way in my first year," Trace says. When he gets a silent nod from the Basitin, he figures he can move on to the next subject. He wants to lay it all out immediately, but he figures he can try not to be too selfish. Besides, he doesn't talk to Natani much.
"How's Natani?" He can see Keith's face light up at the mention of his name. It was one of the most reliable ways to get the Basitin to smile.
"Oh, he's good," Keith says. "Also struggling with classes, but we're working through it together. He's turning out to be pretty good at math. And, y'know, we still work out together almost every day."
"In more ways than one, I'm sure," Trace says. He lifts his eyebrows to make sure Keith gets the joke. Sure enough, he sees the Basitin snap out of his dreamy smile as the bridge of his nose turns bright red. Keith's arms fold tighter against his chest as he finds anything else to look at.
"I… Shut up!" He scoffs at Trace's juvenile humor. While Trace is still snickering at the Basitin's reaction, he turns on him with an accusing look. "I know firsthand that you and Flora aren't innocent."
"Oh, Gods, no," Trace says. "I don't go to the gym, but I still get plenty of exercise."
"You are positively shameless," Keith says. He shakes his head, chuckling in spite of himself.
"What's there to be ashamed of?" Trace asks.
This gives Keith pause. He realizes his reaction to Trace's suggestive comments were pretty knee-jerk. What was wrong with joking about sex? Hell, what was wrong with talking about it? Natani was certainly opening up about the subject, another culture shock for the Basitin. But he is beginning to realize his avoidance of the topic isn't necessary, especially here at college. He went from spending eighteen years seeing little skin but his own to seeing both a guy and a girl in a crop top on his first day on campus. A year later, he was hanging a pride flag in his dorm room and dating a man. Keith briefly recalls his father's warnings about college and laughs to himself.
"Nothing, I guess," Keith admits.
"Right on," Trace says with a sagely nod. "But, hey, if that kind of stuff makes you uncomfortable, I won't joke about it."
"No, no, it's fine," Keith says. He can feel his face heating up as he says it, but he persists. "I feel like I should get more used to the subject."
"Fair enough, man. Whatever you're comfortable with," Trace replies. He leans back into the couch, looking up at the ceiling while a moment of silence hangs over them. This is as good of a time as any, right? His thoughts are at least tangentially related to the topic of sex. Talking about Flora seems like a natural progression from talking about Natani, so it would make sense to bring up their conversations, right? Trace shakes his head, once again stopping his calculations. Keith is a friend, not an employer. He can talk to him. Still, he can feel the words getting caught in his throat
"Can I talk to you about something?" Trace asks. Keith notices that his friend's face is turning crimson now. He perks an eyebrow, but reserves his assumptions.
"Of course."
"Well… First, Flora is good, thank you for asking."
Trace glances over at Keith, who smiles and gives him the bird. Trace returns the favor before he looks back up at the dull panels above their heads. He takes a breath and lets it out slowly.
"Second, she and I have been talking about um… sexuality, I guess? We've both expressed interest in being more, uh, open. Y'know. Especially since I am… Wondering if I am bisexual. Or pansexual. One of the two."
Trace chances another glance at Keith. He doesn't look as shocked as he thought he would be, but his eyebrows are definitely raised. Trace knows Keith is the last person who would judge him, but he still feels himself getting a little defensive in anticipation of skepticism. He shrugs, sighing and finding another spot to look at above him.
"I know it's kinda typical, but I figured you might have advice since you're… Y'know."
Trace sees Keith knowingly nod from his peripheral vision. He lets out a slow breath. He wasn't too worried about the Basitin's reaction to questioning his sexuality. He was more worried about his reaction to him and Flora being in an open relationship. But as he thinks about it, even that suspicion feels unwarranted. He knows Keith came from a conservative background, but you couldn't tell by talking to him. Keith is one of the most open-minded guys Trace knows, even if he is a little prudish sometimes. He always seems to get nervous around the subjects of relationships and sex, but he never once voiced distaste or judgement. Trace feels himself slowly becoming at ease, but even still, a little bit of worry creeps up his throat when Keith begins to speak.
"Well, what makes you think you're bi or pan?" Keith asks. "I'm not doubting you; you'd only bring this up if you were questioning. If anything, I'm just curious."
Trace clasps his hands together in his lap, trying not to squeeze them too hard. He doesn't want to look too sheepish in front of the guy who inspired these new thoughts and feelings. As a teenager and even going into college, Trace never showed much interest in guys. He could always admit when a guy was attractive - hell, he occasionally caught his eyes lingering on a man. The questioning really began when Keith changed in front of him just a month ago. Trace had been in the showers of locker rooms before, so naked guys weren't an unusual sight to him. But even though Keith only stripped down to his boxers, Trace suddenly found himself just as flustered as he was his first few times with Flora. He was forever grateful that she was understanding. Because ever since that day, the image of Keith's bare back occasionally appeared in his mind like a pop-up ad. He had to talk to someone about it. That's how Flora came to know he was questioning, and it's how Keith is now going to learn. Trace finally musters up the courage to get his eyes off the ceiling and look at his friend.
"Well," Trace starts. "I think I might be bi because, uh, I find you attractive."
That widens Keith's eyes even more. He seems to run through a stir of emotions, from bewilderment, to contemplation, to mild amusement. The Basitin looks at Trace with a questioning stare and a smile he's not doing a good job of hiding.
"Really? Like, in what way?" Keith asks. Trace shrugs in reply.
"Kind of the same way I'm attracted to Flora, I guess. But not really?" Trace chuckles, gesticulating with his hands as he tries to explain himself. "Like, I love Flora. And I think that she is the hottest person in the world. I think you're hot too. And I also love you, but like, not in the same way?"
He gives Keith a sheepish look, hoping to the Gods that he understands what he's saying. Keith seems confused at first, but he slowly begins to nod.
"I think I get it? Like, you're attracted to both of us… But you only have romantic feelings for Flora?"
"Right! But I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone else; just you two. Like, there are plenty of people I think are hot. But you two are the only ones I feel, like, attracted to. Does that make sense?"
Keith thinks for a moment. Trace feels another wave of relief pass over him when the Basitin nods once more.
"I have been attracted to plenty of people, on a more… I guess visceral level than what you describe. But, yeah, I can understand having different feelings for people that you're close to," Keith says.
"Yeah," Trace replies. "So… You don't feel weird about being one of those people for me?"
Trace sees Keith's face grow red again. He seems to want to look away, but the Basitin meets Trace's eyes with an embarrassed grin.
"I don't know. Would it be weird for you?"
"Um, I dunno. I guess I- Oh."
Trace is halted by a realization. Suddenly, Keith isn't the only one with warm cheeks. Trace chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he tries to grapple with these unforeseen circumstances. Of course, Trace had fantasized about Keith returning these feelings. Among other things. But he hadn't actually expected it. He dismissed it as a self-indulgent daydream, even when Flora told him she'd let him experiment with a guy. Not only does he have to contend with Keith actually being attracted to him, but he has to contend with such scandalous explorations actually being possible. Trace mentally reigns himself in - Keith has a boyfriend. It is perfectly fine to admit mutual attraction and not act on it.
"Wow, um. Thanks?" Trace says. He has to quell the butterflies in his stomach to speak clearly. "Hah, I'm not as chiseled as you, but I appreciate it."
"Oh, whatever. Nerds are cute in their own way," Keith says. The compliment makes Trace chuckle nervously, crossing his arms just to find something to do with his restless hands. He can't help but feel Keith is handling this with a lot more grace. Then again, maybe Keith hadn't been fantasizing about him for the past several weeks.
"Whatever, man," Trace says. He laughs again, half out of disbelief, and half because of the way he's acting. He feels like a freshman flirting with Flora again. A flicker of guilt sparks in his head. The thought of Flora makes the shared confession feel transgressive, like he's somehow violated his girlfriend's trust. But he remembers how many times he asked if she was sure about her assertion. He remembers bringing up Keith specifically. She tried to hide the fact that she found his little crush funny, but it didn't work. The memory has his stomach stirring all over again.
"Well, even though my heart is beating like, a million miles an hour right now, this was a relief. I've had this stuff on my mind for a few weeks now, and it's just… It's good to hear that things are cool between us," Trace says.
"Dude, of course. Why wouldn't they be?" Keith replies. Once again, Trace feels Keith assuage his worries. He can feel his nerves slowly unwinding, body beginning to relax.
"I don't know, I've never confessed my feelings for a guy before. I've never had feelings for a guy before. You know, the physical kind," Trace says, looking to Keith to reassure him. "And you know, you've got a boyfriend, and I didn't want to get in the way of that." This causes Keith to raise a brow.
"How would that get in the way?" Keith asks. Trace opens his mouth to reply, but a flurry of answers and explanations get themselves tangled up in his mind. As a result, he just ends up sputtering for a few seconds before he shrugs dramatically.
"I don't know! Like, I know it's not romantic, but… Yeah, I guess Natani is the kind of guy to be cool with that. But like, I didn't want you to cheat on him or anything. Which I know you would never do, but I was worried he would think I would try to get you to if I were attracted to you… Bah!" Trace flops back against the cushion behind him, surrendering to the irrationality of his thoughts. He's getting that fluttering feeling in his chest, and it only grows as a period of silence stretches between the two. Trace doesn't want to look at Keith out of fear that he's judging him for his weird, probably perverted thoughts. But the buzzing in his ribs is getting intense with the anticipation of what Keith could possibly be thinking of him. Just as Trace is about to say something to finally break this unbearable tension, Keith speaks.
"Natani and I are open, you know."
Trace's heart leaps up in his chest. He turns to his friend, trying to evaluate his sincerity. Keith sure doesn't look like he's joking, though he has the specter of a smile on his lips.
"Wait, really?" Trace asks.
"Yeah. I didn't really think to mention it since I thought you were straight," Keith replies.
Trace finds himself chuckling in disbelief for what must have been the fifth time this conversation. Keith certainly wasn't a liar, so if he wasn't joking, this was for real. But if it was for real, why would he bring it up? There's only one reason that came to mind. That is a conclusion he didn't want to jump to, though. Maybe Keith just brought it up because he happened to mention that he and Flora were thinking about being more open. That didn't make too much sense. Still, Keith's friendship was a precious thing that Trace didn't want to ruin.
"Huh. Well, uh, thank you for telling me," Trace says.
"Gods, you weren't this modest earlier," Keith says. Trace blinks at him, a little startled by his exasperated outburst.
"Wha- Is there something you want me to say?"
"I don't know, something like 'that's awesome Keith, because I was totally thinking about kissing you.'"
Trace makes a sound somewhere between choking and laughing. He almost wants to cover his face because he's sure he looks like a ripe beet.
"Wow. Projecting much?" Trace fires back. The remark has its intended effect, as Keith finally looks away, grinning as a blush overtakes his face again.
"Dude… I don't know, whatever!" Keith exclaims. The two share a laugh. They laugh off the nervousness that had been building up inside the two, releasing the tension inside them with hearty guffaws. They laugh over the absurdity of the situation, two purely platonic friends suddenly talking about a mutual attraction. And they laugh over the question now hanging between them, a suggestion known to them both, waiting to be expressed. As the two grow quiet, eyeing each other with silent optimism, the question begs to be asked.
"So…" Trace starts. He can feel himself starting to back out, so he steels his will and presses forward. "Would you want to?"
Keith just looks at him, that humored smile still on his face. Trace isn't sure whether the Basitin is mulling it over in his head, or if he's just trying to build anticipation. Either way, for the first time since this conversation started, Trace does not feel himself growing anxious. If he doesn't want to act on these feelings, then that's fine. He's just happy to have gotten all this off his chest and to better understand his best friend. But if he does, that would be pretty cool. Trace watches as Keith sits up off the arm of the couch, leaning towards Trace with crossed legs.
"Sure," Keith says. He sounds like he's ordering at the drive-through, but his smile and especially the subtle red in his face tells Trace that the Basitin is about as giddy as he is. Trace beams as he turns himself to face Keith, leaning against the couch cushions with his legs folded behind him. Now that they're both truly facing each other, Trace feels his heart pounding into his rib cage. But he ignores it. He's been thinking about doing this for weeks, and he's not going to let some nerves stop him. Still, as Keith sits there, smiling at Trace, he feels a little flutter in his stomach at the thought that he will have to make the first move. Is he supposed to? How do guys decide who makes the first move? Trace supposes it probably doesn't matter. So, trying to suppress his stupid grin, he closes his eyes and leans in towards Keith.
A second passes like a long, agonizing hour. Trace feels as though he's stepping into a pitch-black room, moving his head forward with only the vaguest sense of direction and an all-consuming purpose. He has no idea what kissing a man is like - is it any different from kissing a woman? Will Keith like it? Did he brush his teeth this morning? Is he supposed to do something with his hands? Numerous questions fly through his mind like sparks in the dark. He's kissed Flora plenty, but he suddenly feels as if he's in new territory, floundering like a confused teenager. But the cacophony in his mind goes silent when he feels a furred hand gently cup his cheek. Before he knows it, something warm and soft presses into his lips. He can feel a light breath brush across his face as Keith gently kisses him.
Trace feels his heart do a backflip. His entire body fills with a powerful, radiant warmth, and much of it rises to his face. Inside of his mind, a humming beacon lights up, dissolving any worries or anxieties that once resided there. The tender touch of the Basitin persuades him to slowly relax, allowing him to focus fully on the warming sensation of their lips pushed together. He's so immersed in the feeling that it's a shock when Keith pulls back. Despite the kiss lasting only a second, the two are left panting, staring into each other's eyes with lulled eyes and wide grins. In spite of himself, Trace laughs.
"Dude, what's so funny?" Keith asks. Despite the question, he laughs along with him. It could be nervousness, but if Keith is feeling the same way Trace is, it's likely giddiness.
"I don't know," Trace admits. He shakes his head, still in disbelief at the situation. But at this point, he doesn't really care.
"You uh," Keith starts. He's interrupted by a huge grin spreading across his face, the Basitin making a concerted effort to not giggle again. "You wanna do it again?"
"Yeah," Trace replies shakily. It's the only other word that's exchanged before the two join their mouths again. Their second kiss lasts longer. The two men hesitantly hold their lips together for a moment, then part with a soft smooching sound. To both of their glee, they are only apart for that brief instant. Their lips join again, and with the sharing of this intimacy comes the melting of hesitation. Trace puts a hand on one of Keith's knees, using it as support to lean in further and gently grasp the back of the Basitin's neck. As Trace gets in closer, Keith grasps the arm holding his knee, every so slightly squeezing his bicep as he's overcome with passion. There is a new fervor in their motions now, Keith and Trace moving their heads around some as they part their lips, then eagerly press them together again. The two friends lose themselves in this intimate dance. They no longer care what noises they make, or where their hands wander. Together they tread new ground, explore possibilities they only dreamed of.
With every second that passes, the heat between them grows. Keith and Trace press their lips together harder, the motion of their lips growing more desperate. Trace's hand slides up Keith's leg. Keith's paw reaches further into Trace's sleeve, eliciting a shudder from him. The two young men lean into each other to the point of near-discomfort, each one desperate to get closer to the other. In this desperation, Trace takes things a step further. While Keith is still locking lips with him, Trace parts his own to slowly push his tongue towards Keith's mouth. He feels the Basitin flinch under his gentle grip, and before he knows what happened, Keith quickly pulls back. His split-second of heart-wrenching fear is dispelled by the sound of his friend's laughter.
"Woah, haha. You got comfortable quick," Keith says. The Basitin's smug smile reminds him what exactly he's doing. Just minutes ago, he was telling Keith he was questioning his sexuality. Now, he's making out with his best friend. Trace lets out a nervous guffaw, taking his hand off of Keith's neck. He leaves the one on his knee.
"Sorry! I… I don't know, was that too far?" Trace asks.
"Nah, man," Keith says. "It just surprised me is all." He puts a reassuring paw on Trace's hand, sending electricity up his arm. He eyes their joined hands for a moment. Does this mean he's bisexual? He did enjoy the kiss - like, really enjoy it. It seems every time his friend touches him he feels warm and giddy. So, yeah, he probably is. The realization hatches butterflies in his stomach all over again.
"Okay, uh, good. Because that was, um, really good," Trace says. He has to stop himself from letting out another nervous laugh. Keith must be able to tell that Trace is getting nervous, as he begins gently stroking the back of his hand. The soothing motion slowly quells the tumultuous waves frothing around inside of Trace. He takes a deep breath in, and lets it out slowly, giving Keith a thankful smile. They share a quiet moment, Keith's thumb tracing the grooves along Trace's soft hand. The subtle, intimate motions seem to put Trace in a trance. A trance broken by Keith speaking again.
"So, you think you're bi?" Keith says. There's no stopping himself from laughing this time. Trace lets out a guffaw, feeling his face heating up all over again.
"Yeah, I guess? Probably," Trace says. It's one thing to realize it, and it's another thing to say it out loud. But just as he's about to put his chest into an admission, an idea
pops into his head. "But… You know, it wouldn't hurt to make sure."
He gives Keith a coy smirk. It seems to take a couple seconds for the suggestion to register to the Basitin, but he eventually sees understanding flicker in Keith's eyes. He scoffs, rolling his eyes. But Trace is happy to see his friend still grinning ear to ear. But he's far more pleased to see Keith reach down to the hem of his shirt and begin tugging it up. Trace finds himself in another trance as Keith pulls his shirt up and over his head, revealing the Basitin's slender, toned abdomen. Even without flexing, his defined abs are visible, and as more of his arms are revealed, he can see the tight, powerful muscles in them. He's slim, but strong, and he can see that strength in every inch of his now exposed torso. As Keith drops his shirt to the side, he leans back some, letting Trace soak in the view.
"Does this help?" Keith asks. Trace almost doesn't hear him. The room is suddenly very hot, and Trace is suddenly very antsy again. He trips on his tongue for a moment before he can finally speak.
"Uh, yeah. I think it's starting to," Trace says. His reaction seems to please Keith, as his smile takes on a more smug look. Trace feels himself heating up even more. Not only is he absurdly hot, he knows how hot he is. It almost annoys him. But he's far too giddy to actually be upset with the guy who is helping him discover himself. So, he decides to make his payback something fun for both of them.
"But there's only one way to know for sure," Trace says. He gives Keith a seductive look before he begins peeling off his own shirt. He sees the Basitin's eyes widening just before his vision is obscured by the cloth. When he gets the top over his head and onto the floor, he sees Keith's eyes flicking up and down. Trace feels a surge of pride from his friend's admiration. And though he'd love to let Keith admire him some more, he'd also love to kiss him again.
"Wanna lay back?" Trace asks. Keith's eyes come up to meet Trace's. He smiles and nods. Just as before, the Basitin lays back against the armrest of the couch. This time, Trace is there to follow him, getting onto his hands and knees to place himself above his friend. The compromising position has his heart racing all over again, but he's learning to ignore it. The two friends give each other an excited, sultry grin before their eyes close and their lips meet. Keith places his paws on Trace's back, inviting him down to rest on his furry body. Trace obliges, letting his hands wander over his friend's beautiful form. And for longer than the two bother to keep track, they kiss, eagerly exploring themselves and each other.