Chapter 3
"I don't know, Chakotay," Kathryn murmured at last.
She stood in front of the viewscreen, staring at the star system in front of them and gathering all the mental willpower she could muster to try and force information to surface from her subconscious. She had been focusing on the two stars slowly orbiting one another, and then on each of the four small planets in turn, for about half an hour now. They had run multiple scans, collected as much data as possible, and even made out some possible signs of a civilization through a small, clear patch in the sky above one of the planets.
As far as she could tell, it was not working. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly when she turned to face him again.
"It's ok," he sighed, "at least we tried."
She nodded. "I suppose so. It wasn't likely to bring up anything, though. Whatever this is, it may not even be related to anything outside the ship. And even if it is something telepathic, nothing I've seen suggests that whoever is responsible has had the benefit of the view from above their planet," she said, coming down from the platform.
"Do you think it could be?" Chakotay questioned as they both leaned back against the center console. "Telepathic?"
Kathryn smirked, "Out here? Anything's possible. I –"
Whatever she had been trying to say was cut off by a bleep of her comm badge. They shared a knowing look.
"Doctor to Captain Janeway," the EMH's voice came through.
"Janeway here," she answered.
"I finished analyzing the scan and would like you to come to Sickbay," he reported.
"Already on my way," she acknowledged as the doors to Astrometrics swished shut behind her and Chakotay. "It sounds like we might have our answer," she added to Chakotay once the comm link was closed.
They arrived back in Sickbay not five minutes later.
"Come look at this," the Doctor ushered them over, pointing to the monitor in his office. "This is the scan that I took earlier, when Commander Chakotay brought you in. It looks a bit different from scans I took a few months ago, so I had the computer isolate your neural pattern from today's image," he explained. He pressed a button, and the computer repeated the process it had shown him.
Her own neural pattern in blue moved aside to reveal a second full one in magenta.
"I take it you understand our problem now," the Doctor said.
She nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing, "Yes, Doctor. I do."
"Now, here is the scan I took after you regained consciousness," he said, putting another image beside the one they had just separated. "As you can see, the second pattern is no longer present."
"So, what you're saying, Doctor, is that a second 'entity,' for lack of a better term, is inhabiting my mind, but only at random times?" she asked. "And there is no way to stop it?"
"I would like you to wear a neural monitor for the time being so I can gather more data. But yes, Captain, that is what I am saying," he answered.
"Is it dangerous?" Chakotay asked.
"There is no way to determine that until we know more," the Doctor replied evenly. "Until we can find out, however, I will need to keep you off active duty."
Kathryn breathed deeply then nodded her assent. "Chakotay, I trust you'll keep me informed on ship business in the meantime?"
"Of course," he affirmed readily.
"Work quickly, please Doctor," she said. The EMH agreed. He finished setting up the neural monitor. Then the command duo left Sickbay again for the second time that day.
"I'll walk you to your quarters and then return to the bridge," Chakotay said.
"Thank you," she said, granting him a small smile. She found that she was actually not keen on the idea of being left alone at the mercy of whatever might be entering her mind, but Voyager needed a commanding officer in charge.
Later that evening, Kathryn sat in her armchair, trying to read the book in her hands. Her gaze kept straying to the window, watching the stars in an attempt to sort out her thoughts. She heard the door chime, and called, "Come."
It slid open, and Kathryn rose to face her guest. "Seven?" she asked, slightly confused by having half-expected Chakotay.
"I came to see how you were," Seven said, pausing in the doorway as if unsure whether to enter. At seeing the brief hesitance, Kathryn waved her hand to invite Seven to come sit down with her.
"Can I get you anything?" she asked, going to the replicator to recycle her coffee mug. More coffee would likely just make her more jittery.
"No, thank you," Seven answered. She returned, and they both settled down, facing each other.
Sensing the awkwardness that threatened to drape over them, Kathryn sighed lightly. "I appreciate your concern," she began, intent on putting up a façade of strength even in this. However, perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, or the frazzled state of her nerves wearing down her barriers, but she surprised even herself with her next statement, saying, "To be honest, I feel like I'm going crazy." Her voice quivered only slightly at the unexpected admission, which was impressive considering just how deeply this thought terrified her.
"I understand," Seven said, inclining her head towards Kathryn. "I have also been in a similar situation before."
"The vinculum," Kathryn said, nodding and understanding where the conversation was heading. Her eyes became pools of sympathy even thinking about it now.
"Yes," Seven agreed. "I, too, felt that I was losing control. I believed I would be overtaken by both the voices in my mind and by my own fear. There was a point during that ordeal where you told me that the only thing I had to do was hold on. Now, that is the only thing you must do. You are not alone, Captain."
Kathryn felt a small smile form at the words, and fresh tears sprang to her eyes at the wave of emotion that welled up inside her. She drew in a shaky breath to try and regain her normal poise. She half laughed, "You know, I have to apologize, I really do give the worst advice sometimes! That must have sounded so trite and unhelpful."
Seven gave Kathryn one of her own slight smiles. "It was highly effective," she countered. "It was your support that mattered, not the words. You gave me the extra strength and courage I required."
Kathryn breathed deeply again. "I guess you're right," she admitted. "Thank you, Seven, for your support."
"You are welcome," the young woman replied. She rose to leave. "I will let you rest now. Goodnight, Captain."
"Goodnight," Kathryn said, smiling affectionately at her. Just before she reached the door, Kathryn called, "Seven?"
"Yes?" Seven answered, facing her once more.
"I appreciate that you stopped by. You know, you've come a long way from those first days. I'm proud of you, Seven. It's a joy and a privilege to be your friend," Kathryn said.
Seven smiled again, this time a little self-consciously. "Thank you, Captain," she said.
Kathryn nodded in reply. "Sleep well," she said.
"And you," Seven answered. The door opened, and her long strides had taken her out and around the corner of the corridor a few seconds afterwards, leaving Kathryn alone with her thoughts and that little bit of extra courage.
She settled down once more with her book, letting herself wander in the world from the pages. A few hours later, the neural monitor began to blink.
Author's Note: Apologies for the late update; thank you to everyone who is still following this story!