Author's Notes: This chapter is a bit more immature than usual due to sexual scenes and violence. Domestic violence and spousal abuse are never funny...unless it involves celebrities. Then, it's hilarious.

(Rated I for Immature)

Fifty Shades of Kon

Times were rough for Kon and Saora. They were separated but not divorced. Saora continued to do princess-crap as usual in her own office in the Vindicator HQ and went home to her own apartment. Being one of only two full-blooded Kryptonians on Earth at any given time was lonely. Saora took notes of people in the park, rode the bus, and focused on the arts. She still kept in touch with Kara during this whole episode.

"What are you up to now?" Kara asked concernedly on the phone.

"Just going through submissions," Saora said vaguely as she looked over diagrams of people tied up in odd positions.

"Heard from Kon?" Kara asked hopefully.

"Yeah, he sent me some flowers," Saora said unimpressed.

"Whatever happened to you two?" Kara asked.

"Fundamental differences, I guess. It just wasn't going to last," Saora said sadly.

The next day, Saora went to an art exhibit and got wasted on champagne. As she strolled around, half the framed photos were of her in various poses. Saora gave the photo exhibits a WTF look but quickly recovered. James Cullen, aka Kid Quantum, walked over to her. He was now really into art after having worked with Alex's so-called rehabilitation.

"James, what the fuck is this?" Saora demanded.

"If I had asked, you would have dictated which photos and taken over," James said defensively.

"Yeah," Saora said, obviously.

"It's my best stuff. Do you like them?" James asked.

"You made my breasts...so large," Saora remarked as the photos were larger than life.

"Well, somebody likes them. They bought all of them with their art ration quota," James said, pleased.

"All of them? Who is the creeper stalker?" Saora asked.

"Dinner is on me tonight," James said, ignoring her concern.

As James took off, Kon came into view. Like a predator, he hunted Saora down in the crowd. "Saora," he addressed.

"You bought all of them, right? Only a prince's quota could afford them," Saora figured.

"I intend to put them in every room of my apartment and jerk off to them," Kon confirmed.

"Why are you here?" Saora asked impatiently.

"For you," Kon said sincerely and then grabbed her arm in an iron grip. "Let's fight, right here, right now, and make a scene."

"As romantic as that sounds, I prefer we go to dinner and just talk," Saora allowed. "Hold on." Saora went over to James. "I'm taking off. Your photos are so stunning," she said and then kissed him on each cheek, a hug, and a butt squeeze.

Kon frowned, suddenly furious, but he kept his cool.

At the restaurant, Kon was given instant service. "I'll have the steak with fries and vegetables," he ordered.

"And I'll have the Caesar salad," Saora said.

"And I want two of your best wine," Kon ordered.

"Two bottles?" the waiter asked hopefully.

"Obviously," Kon said, annoyed, and shooed him away. "Did you order the salad because you think you're getting fat? Because...you're not," he said to Saora.

"It's so I can ditch you early if this conversation goes poorly," Saora said bluntly.

"I want your backside. I want to renegotiate terms and conditions," Kon said.

"I don't see how. What happened last time can't happen again," Saora said doubtfully.

"It won't happen again," Kon promised her.

"How can you say that, Kon? I was getting off on the pain I inflicted on you and you...used the safe word like a bitch," Saora said unimpressed.

"Look, I was sore from going to the gym, I was tired, I had a headache, I...," Kon said.

"Excuses, excuses," Saora said, shaking her head.

"I'm working on it," Kon said truthfully.

"On your childhood trauma? It bores me, Kon. I'm bored with you," Saora told him.

The waiter came back with the wine bottles. Kon eyed the waiter like a hawk as he slowly uncorked it. His blood began to boil as he listened to every rotation of the corkscrew, every second that went by. "Just give me the bottles," Kon demanded. He then poured himself and Saora a glass.

"I smoked crack when I was four, you can fill in the blanks," Kon said defensively.

"When were you going to tell me that?" Saora asked.

"I did...but you were asleep at the time...because I drugged you," Kon said flatly.

"I'm so sorry you were a crack baby," Saora said with false sincerity.

"It's in the past," Kon said dismissively.

"Then, why did you even bring it up?" Saora wondered.

"I'm here to negotiate," Kon said, changing the subject. "No rules, all punishments, no secrets."

"Agreed," Saora said, pleased. "Is getting your ass beat every night what you really need, Kon?"

"I know that I need you," Kon replied.

Kon drove Soara to her apartment they didn't share. "No straps attached, all suction," Kon said as he handed her a package with a prosthetic penis inside. Saora smiled and gave him a romantic kiss. The two made out for a while, and then Saora went inside alone.

In his car, Kon texted and drove. "Dream of me," he texted to Saora.

"Yeah, maybe," Saora texted back.

"Maybe? What the fuck?" Kon wondered as he nearly got into a multiple-car accident.

The next morning, Saora was busy at work at the Vindicator HQ. Imra came to see her. "I've been hearing a lot of good things about you, Saora, by invading the minds of all those around you."

"I'll say," Garth smiled. "What's wrong? Am I in trouble?"

"Not yet," Imra said as she eyed Saora so close to Garth.

"Let's get wasted tonight," Garth suggested.

"Sorry, meetings," Imra declined.

"Even better. I can have Saora here all to myself," Garth said, pleased.

"Should I?" Saora wondered as she felt the tension between them.

"Absolutely," Imra said, being passive-aggressive.

"I have plans with my husband, Kon," Saora declined.

"Have him come with you," Garth said undeterred.

"Have fun," Imra glared at Saora and walked off.

Garth invited Saora to the bar around the corner. "Where is everyone?" Saora wondered.

"It's still early, as I intended. I want you all to myself," Garth said bluntly. "Your comments on Lucius Fox were interesting. I'm not usually interested in political thrillers."

"Yeah, well, his commentary on surveillance is quite interesting for the time period. Obsolete but interesting," Saoara said.

"I'm convinced already. Tell me more," Garth said, smiling.

Kon then interrupted them. "Hey, I'm the husband."

"I'm the boss," Garth said, not intimidated. "What will you have, Kon? It's on me just like your woman tonight."

"Okay...okay," Kon nodded, and then it was on.

Saora sat at the bar as Kon and Garth engaged one another. Their movements were so fast, the human eye couldn't track them. Static electricity buzzed around them, sparking off every object in the room and lighting the walls on fire. Kon went for a kick that Garth barely dodged. Garth then went for a kick of his own at the same speed. Kon evaded the kick, lifted his leg higher to make him unbalanced, and threw a ki blast at him that destroyed half the bar. Garth dematerialized as pure electricity to avoid the blast. Garth then rematerialized and went for a hit. Kon stepped back and prepared an attack, only for Garth to dematerialize again. Kon fired center-mass, creating a midair explosion. Garth materialized smoking, having been semi-materialized when he was hit. Kon charged the stunned Garth only to be put in a chokehold.

Saora calmly exited the bar as electrical surges and ki explosions ripped through the bar and out into the street. Kon then phased next to Saora, slightly ruffled. "I can't believe you were so rude to the boss that wants to fuck me. That wasn't very nice," Saora chided.

"He wants what's mine," Kon said, wide-eyed.

"What's yours?" Saora teased. "Isn't that a little presumptuous?"

"We're married," Kon pointed out.

"I know," Saora said dismissively. "He's my boss, Kon. That means I spend more time with him than you on most days, so keep calm."

"Calm isn't my forte. I'm Insane after all," Kon said as he looked around for possible attackers.

"Well, prepare for me to piss you off further," Saora said as they entered a grocery store.

Kon looked around the grocery store apprehensively. "Why the fuck are we here? We have slaves to do grocery shopping for us."

"When was the last time you went shopping, Kon?" Saora rolled her eyes.

"In Houston. I acquired an airline, Kon-Air," Kon said, impressed with himself.

"This is why we're here. Your favorite flavor," Saora said mockingly, and then gave him a pint of vanilla ice cream.

At Kon's Palace, which they both shared at one point, Saora made Kon do some cooking. Pissed off, he chopped vegetables with a blade at fast speed, making a mess. Saora reached down, considered going for his dick, thought better of it, and then got herself a knife. Kon tensed up, fully frustrated. "Do you need a hand with that?" Saora mocked.

"I'll manage," Kon denied her as he continued to slice up vegetables.

"I was referring to your dick but suit yourself," Saora mocked.

Kon bristled at that but kept his cool. "I know what you're doing."

"What? I'm making you an Iron Chef so you can feed yourself for a change," Saora replied.

"All you have to do is ask for a servant," Kon reminded her.

"Servants are too slow for me," Saora said, implying sex.

"Okay...okay," Kon said, burning in anger, but keeping his cool. He wasn't going to let this full-blooded Kryptonian bitch, that reminded him of his mother, rile him up. "How are the Vindicators these days?"

"Good, Garth seems genuinely interested in my opinions, unlike you," Saora said.

"How is morale?" Kon asked conversationally.

"You mean, do we sit in a circle and jerk each other off...because we do," Saora answered.

"Is the corps well managed?" Kon continued. "Are the people gay?"

"You're trying to find a way to take command? You can't do that," Saora told him off.

"The fuck I can't," Kon disagreed.

"Your mother won't allow it," Saora said simply.

"My mother is distracted with her baby, and my father will back me. It's a perfect fit for me to take command of the Vindicators," Kon said reasonably.

"You want to be my boss?" Saora asked accusingly.

"The boss of Imra, who is the boss of Garth, who is the boss of you," Kon clarified. "So, it's best not to argue with your future boss."

"You're being an ass," Saora said peeved. She went behind Kon, put her hands underneath his arms, and twisted his nipples.

"That's off limits," Kon said painfully.

"I'm going to need a roadmap for everything you're going to bitch out on me," Saora insulted.

"I thought you wanted to take it slow?" Kon recalled. "What do you want, Saora? You have to tell me," Kon said as Saora kissed him lovingly.

"I want to get undressed and go to bed...but you have to keep your clothes on," Saora whispered in his ear. "No sex, just cuddling." She then went upstairs. Kon cautiously followed her upstairs. Inside the master bedroom, Kon noticed a large collection of various tools hanging on the wall: whips, batons, ropes, handcuffs, hooks, and masks.

"You've been busy," Kon noted.

Saora ignored him and stripped down naked. She then went to sleep on the bed. Kon looked around, confused and torn. Frustrated, he decided to make a move on her. As soon as he did, Saora was on him in a flash. She gave him combinations to his chest, upper cut to the chin, and forced Kon's face into the carpet. Saora pointed her hand at the wall with her magnetic ring. She took a mask in her hand and forced it over Kon's face, blinding and silencing him. She then summoned metallic rope cables and quickly placed them around Kon's wrists, shoulders, and back so that his head was stuck in a down position. Saora then placed metal bracelets around Kon's ankles and wrists. She then forced him over to a metal X-cross to keep him still.

Saora summoned a metal rake to her hand and tore Kon's shirt off. His wounds healed immediately. Saora waited a second for his wounds to heal and then summoned a metal paddle to her hand. She then swung the paddle like a baseball on Kon's gut several times, creating noticeably large red marks. Saora then extended the X-cross so that Kon's arms and legs were nearly dislocated. Saora shook her head disappointedly and smacked Kon a few times to the face, then punched him to the face, then a kick to the balls.

Suddenly, Saora found herself completely tied up with metal cables. Her arms were pinned to her sides; her legs were tied together. As she was about to fall over, Kon placed his index finger on her chin to keep her steady, her signature move, to mock her. He then snapped his finger, evaporating the clone Saora had tied up. "Even if it was a clone, it was still you," Saora spat.

Kon placed a ball in her mouth to shut her up. He then gently laid her in bed. With the cable made of black-star alloy, Saora couldn't snap it off. Fully clothed, Kon got into bed and went to sleep with the tied-up Saora next to him.

The next morning, Kon found all of his limbs tied to the bedposts. Saora was in front of him, fully clothed. "You looked so peaceful...it disgusted me. Now, drink your prune juice," she said, and then forced it down his throat.

"Thank you for the evening. I'll deposit precious metals to your account," Kon said, treating her like a prostitute.

"With this card?" Saora asked as she held his ID card in her hand. She then snapped it in half.

Kon rolled his eyes and snapped the cables off him. He called up Barney with his watch. "Barney, please deposit twenty-four thousand kilograms of gold into Saora's account...for services rendered."

Soon thereafter, Kon and Saora had a real breakfast at a restaurant not too far away. "Since I'm your whore now, what is thy bidding, master?" Saora asked sarcastically.

"My parents are hosting a royal ball tonight. I promised I'd make an appearance. I want you to come with me, and you will," Kon ordered.

"I'm sick of balls, especially yours. I'm going to come in an ugly dress and not fix my hair," Saora threatened.

"I'll force you to cooperate," Kon said seriously.

"How will you manage that?" Saora asked skeptically.

"Don't worry about it," Kon said cryptically.

After breakfast, the two went to an affluent salon for high-ranking people. Kon met with the salon owner. "You see that bitch over there? She's Kryptonian so it's going to be a little more difficult to get her hair unfucked. You'll be compensated highly."

Saora then noticed Kara in the salon. Saora decided to flex and leave. Kon went after her in the street. "Did you really take me here to meet your mom?"

"Total coincidence," Kon lied.

"That sounds like bullshit. Why would you take the woman who has seduced and abused you to your mother?" she asked, referring to herself.

"This isn't a competition," Kon said uncomfortably.

"You want mommy's approval? Is that it?" Saora mocked.

"Let's discuss this back at my place where I can beat your ass for embarrassing me here," Kon invited. "Afterwards, I can have someone come by and do your hair."

"Kon, I don't care about my hair. If someone comes over, I'm going to fuck them," Saora promised.

"Look, I've had enough of your nonsense. If you won't walk, I'll carry you," Kon threatened.

"No balls," Saora doubted.

Kon quickly snapped handcuffs around her wrists, went down and cuffed her ankles, and then pulled her back up as she was about to fall. He then put a ball in her mouth to shut her up. He then carried Saora over his head back to his palace, not caring who saw him. Kara frowned as she saw the scene out the salon window, not sure what to make of them.

In his study, Kon was at his desk while Saora was in black leather, hanging from the ceiling due to cables, and in a back-folded position where her feet were close to her hands. The position served to allow Kon a good look at Saora's cleavage while also appreciating her flexibility.

"Jesus, Kon," Saora remarked, unable to get free.

"I didn't know what this would become. I didn't know you would be different," Kon said reflectively.

"Oh, really? How many other women have you brought to the salon under the supervision of your mother?" Saora asked.

Kon counted on his fingers and then gave up. "Look, I'll admit that was wrong."

"This is all wrong, Kon. All of this," Saora pointed out, still hanging from the ceiling. "You're putting money in my account for several services, taking command of an HQ I work for. This isn't a relationship, it's ownership."

"Are those two things mutually exclusive?" Kon doubted.

"I'm trying to understand you, but it's really difficult to do that when you do bizarre things like this. You won't even let me touch you," Saora said as she moved back and forth on the ceiling, trying to get free.

"Alright, if I let you down, you have to come to my bedroom," Kon said.

"Sex isn't going to fix this, Kon. Are you Insane?" Saora refused.

"Yeah," Kon said, obviously.

A shirtless Kon let Saora down and escorted her to the bedroom. "I was bad. You can punish me now," Kon allowed.

"I don't need permission," Saora scoffed and then used heat vision to burn the family El crest into his chest, creating a bloody burnt masterpiece.

"Oh, fuck," Kon said painfully.

"Nice," Saora smiled.

An obviously queer hairstylist came up to the apartment to do Saora's hair for the ball. "Your neck is so beautiful," the hairstylist said as he examined her. Kon was standing off to the side, observing.

"Kon, you just going to stand there, gawking?" Saora mocked.

"Yeah," Kon nodded.

Once the hairstylist was gone, Saora had an elaborate bun. She then put on some sexy lingerie that she was going to wear under her uniform. Kon watched her intently as she put it on. "You just going to stand there, gawking?" Saora repeated.

"Yeah," Kon confirmed. He then casually went over to her. "Perhaps, tonight would be more stimulating with these bad boys," he said, showing her two drone spheres.

"Fine," Saora relented.

"Do you need help. Bend over if you do," Kon said.

"I'm perfectly capable of putting two balls in my vagina by myself," Saora told him off.

"Then do it, already," Kon said impatiently.

"You know, I never ask you to put a cock up your ass before a party," Saora said resentfully.

"That's queer, this is not queer," Kon argued. "Here's your mask."

"This better be a masked ball, this time," Saora warned.

Kon brought Saora to Kara's palace for a masquerade ball. It had a Renaissance theme to it. Kon and Saora were dressed in white royal uniforms, but everyone else was allowed to wear goofy costumes. A professional band, not realizing what adventure they were in, took their performance way too seriously. Kara met with Kon and Saora, also wearing white.

"Kon, so glad you could make it," Kara said, pleased.

"Mother," Kon addressed and then took off.

Kara gave him an annoyed look and then focused on Saora. "I'm so glad you two are back together. Kon is so lost without you."

"Can I have my date back?" Kon asked, interrupting.

"No, piss off," Kara refused. "He's such a spoiled brat," she said after he walked off.

"I know...," Saora said, and then found herself in an awkward position as the two balls began vibrating inside her. She eyed Kon, who held the remote.

"You know, Kon was such a pain in the ass growing up. He got expelled from four different schools. Totally out of control," Kara revealed.

"He did mention that," Saora said as she got buzzed again.

"And what is that sound? We can both hear it, right?" Kara asked, looking around for the buzzing sound.

"Yeah...yeah," Saora nodded as she got buzzed again. "You know, I think I'll go to my seat now."

Kon and Saora sat down together at their table. "Hungry?" Kon asked.

"Only for your cock," Saora said, a little too loudly.

"Your attempt to embarrass me is futile," Kon reminded her.

"My mother is a murdering insurrectionist bad guy, so that goes for the two of us," Saora pointed out.

The crowd quieted down as a charity auction was about to begin. Poverty had become eradicated, with every single citizen, regardless of whether they had a job or not, guaranteed a living pay grade of E-1. Children also automatically received a pay grade of E-1 but were controlled by the parent(s), allowing a single mother with one child, for example, two pay-grade incomes. The E-1 pay grade was approximately $240,000 in the 21st Century USD, which would be plenty in the 21st century but was rather limiting in the age of flying cars, spaceships, and real estate on alien planets. Additionally, an E-1 ration quota was controlled by Brainiac 5's market system, so requests for certain items or services were denied if they were irresponsible. Also, specific item rations were capped at a certain amount, preventing a citizen from spending their total ratio quota on one item or small groups of items to hoard or sell later. This often meant that citizens rarely used their total ration quota. During Lent, Brainiac 5 would significantly cut the ration quota for all pay grades, strongly encouraging other higher pay grades to redistribute their rations in an act of charity.

For this auction, vacation resorts were already leased by certain individuals in the room from their ration quota. Those individuals would then transfer the lease to someone else in exchange for a ration redistribution that would then go to so-called low-income E-1 individuals. While it was practically unnecessary, it made higher-ranked individuals feel good about themselves and entertained good Christian charity. Brainiac 5 realized early on that in a post-scarcity economy, charity would be unnecessary and even the poor would be objectively rich. The problem was solved by artificially shutting down the system to make charity relevant again.

"A week's vacation at a luxury chalet in Aspen, Colorado, donated by Prince Kon-El. Let's start the bidding off at 1x an E-1's annual ration quota," the auctioneer began. ($240K)

"I didn't know you had a place in Aspen," Saora said, surprised.

"That's a lot of things you don't know about me," Kon mocked.

"I'm your wife, I should know where all of your properties are. Is this a secret place where you fuck all your hookers?" Saora asked accusingly.

"You're being a crazy bitch. Just shut your mouth and behave," Kon ordered and then buzzed her with his remote.

"Ten times, seventeen times, eighteen times, nineteen...," the auctioneer said as people raised their signs.

"Twenty-four," Saora raised her sign.

Kon gave her a WTF look. "We're paying to lease my own place?"

"It's rations that will go to people in need. It's the Christian thing to do," Saora said simply.

"I don't know whether to worship at your feet or spank you," Kon said, conflicted.

"You can always do both," Saora said, obviously.

"Going once, going twice, sold to Princess Saora. Your generosity really makes a difference, ladies and gentlemen," the auctioneer said appreciatively.

"Let's go," Kon said urgently before Saora could make another bid.

Kon was pissed that he leased his own ski resort to himself for the equivalent amount of USD 5.76 million. The combined O-15 pay grade of Kon and Saora was equal to USD 7.68 million a year. However, Kon had significant currency holdings all across the galaxy that made his Imperial pay grade inconsequential. Still, Saora needed to be punished for this audacity.

Inside Kara's palace, in Kon's old room, Kon had Saora stripped down, bent over a beam, and had her ankles and wrists chained closely to the floor on hooks. Kon shook his head in annoyance and got himself an obnoxiously large paddle that was the size of a person. He proceeded to give Saora a good spanking, eliciting some erotic cries from her. He then had some ordinary vanilla missionary sex with her.

At the party, Kara was desperately trying not to overhear what was going on with those two with her super-hearing and failing. Scandalized, she tried to act normal in front of her guests.

Kon and Saora came back to the party fully dressed, with their masks back on, and danced together along with all the other guests. Kara gave Kon a disapproving look. "What?" Kon asked defiantly.

In the ladies' room, Kara confronted Saora as she tried to bolt. "Hey, I'm not the enemy, I'm your mother-in-law," Kara said, stopping her. "And I know what you've done to my son."

"I just led him to the truth of what he really is," Saora downplayed. "Without me, he'd be a punk-ass kid. Now that I think about it, he's still a punk-ass kid. I feel like such a pedophile."

"Look, he needs a mentor in life and not just in the bedroom. That's your job now," Kara ordered.

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to save him. I'm not owned by him or you," Saora said assertively.

"If you really want to make me happy, both of you need to grow up," Kara said, self-absorbed.

"You don't understand what we have. You may be his mother, but I have weird-ass kinky sex with him," Saora told her off.

"I've been there," Kara said, referring to Mon. "At some point, you run out of ideas, you get too violent with each other, and you either settle for vanilla or you break up."

"I'll be sure to send our sex tapes to you for your analysis," Saora mocked and walked out.

Kon gave Saora a WTF look as he overheard the conversation. "We should probably leave," he suggested.

"We are leaving," Saora ordered.

Kon and Saora headed to the dock and got on a royal yacht, Your Grace, where they showered together. "Can I wash this off?" Saora asked, referring to a happy face Kon had drawn on her breast using her nipples as eyes with a Sharpie several hours earlier.

"I suppose," Kon said reluctantly.

"I know how difficult it is for you to act like a mature adult, but it would mean the world to me if you did," Saora said condescendingly.

"Yeah, that ain't happening," Kon refused. Saora suddenly blew on the shower water, making it ice cold. "Fuck!" Kon shouted as he quickly exited the shower.

The next day, Kon waited for Saora to wake up. "This boat is really beautiful," Saora said truthfully.

"I bought it after the previous owner overdosed on heroin, and they found her body three days later. Got a significant discount for it," Kon smiled, impressed with his ability to get good deals.

"Thanks for sharing that," Saora gagged. "Look at that house. Wouldn't it be perfect if we lived there?" she said of a random house on the lake.

"You trying to guilt trip me into giving an old widow the boot to give you another vacation home?" Kon asked.

"Yeah," Saora stared directly at him.

"Take the wheel," Kon ordered.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Saora resisted.

"I don't give a shit," Kon said unconcernedly.

Saora took the wheel and nearly capsized the boat a few times. Kon got a sick thrill as he felt her anxiety and made small adjustments to the wheel as he held her from behind.

After dealing with Garth's bullshit at Vindicator HQ, Saora went to see Kon at his apartment. His maid, so to speak, greeted her as she came in. "I will be your third wheel this afternoon," she informed her.

"Alright," Saora allowed.

Saora then barged into Kon's study as he was busy playing video games. "I didn't authorize a third wheel today."

"What's the big deal?" Kon asked.

"Why is it always one male and two females every single time?" she asked, frustrated.

"Because two males would be gay," Kon said, obviously.

"And it's not gay for me?" Saora asked incredulously.

"No, because I'm paying you to do it...," Kon began.

"I'm being paid? When?" Saora scoffed.

"And...it's perfectly natural for a man to have a harem of women who occasionally have sex with each other as a means of peer bonding. And such peer bonding can lead to greater cooperation in household chores and child rearing, which is beneficial for all," Kon said reasonably.

"Is there a reason why you have all of our third wheels dye their hair blond and bleach their skin?" Saora asked.

"Uhmm...well...it's so...I don't confuse them with you, of course," Kon excused. "Look, I got you a prosthetic penis for a reason."

"I thought...it was to use it on you," Saora said disappointedly.

"What the fuck?" No," Kon scowled.

Kon and Saora proceeded to have a threesome with the housekeeper and then had dinner later that evening. "We should talk about you cheating on me with Garth in New York next week," Kon said accusingly.

"We have talked about it," Saora rolled her eyes.

"I should take you. I have a place there," Kon said.

"Another property I don't know about? How many dungeons do you have, Kon?" Saora asked.

"You know, Garth has had three assistants in the last eighteen months, all quit without notice. He's an asshole," Kon told her.

"That's three times less than the number of housekeepers you've lost in the same time period," Saora pointed out. "I can handle him."

"I know full well you can handle men," Kon mocked. "And if you really want to go, I can't stop you."

"Well...no shit," Saora agreed.

"So, are you going to be with me in New York or Garth?" Kon demanded.

"Of course I'll be with you," Saora said, annoyed at Kon's insecurities.

"Good talk," Kon said victoriously. "I won this fight."

"This wasn't a fight. It was a conversation," Saora rolled her eyes.

"No...I won," Kon insisted.

"Kon, you're crazy as fuck. I've assessed the situation and I'm going to bed," Saora said and walked off.

At the Vindicator HQ, Garth and Saora had a chat about New York. "So, about New York. Kon is being a jealous little bitch, so I was thinking to change my plans," she began.

"Saora, I think you have tremendous potential here, but I'm not sure you're taking this position seriously," Garth said disappointedly.

"Oh, you don't understand. I want to go to New York and room with you," Saora clarified.

"That's not necessary. You can book your own room," Garth resisted.

"Oh, but here I was thinking you wanted to fuck me," Saora said confused.

"That's a misunderstanding," Garth denied.

"I mean, look, I don't wanna brag, but I'm a pretty great teacher. I could teach you some crazy kinky shit while we're in New York," Saora offered. "And I'm on top of everything. I'm talking about going the extra mile on your dick."

"I don't want to compete with Kon. Your husband has a reputation for being ruthless," Garth declined.

"If you have a problem with Kon, you should take it up with Kara," Saora suggested.

"I don't have a problem with Kon. I just want you to come with me to New York for business only. I don't want to fuck you, alright," Garth said defensively.

"I want a man who does more for me than just makes me rich. I want one that makes me smarter, too. I want you both," Saora said seriously.

"Holy shit, I should leave," Garth realized as Saora advanced on him.

"Garth, I can make you cum like nobody else has. Not Imra, not anyone," Saora said seductively.

"I've assessed the situation and I'm leaving," Garth said as he fled his own office.

Hoping to create drama, Saora went outside and met with Kon, whom she had called prior to her chat with Garth. "He tried to touch me. It was so awful," she lied.

"I'll kill his ass," Kon said and rushed inside.

Saora bit her lip and felt an erotic thrill as she saw heat vision beams and electrical discharges from the outside, gutting the Vindicator HQ building. "I guess Kon was right. Getting two males in a threesome is tough," Saora noted.

That night, Kon got off the phone with his mother while Saora pranced around in her nightgown. "Well, at least that's been dealt with. Garth is fired; he's out of the Corp. I told my mother everything. You'll never have to see him again," Kon said victoriously.

"He didn't do anything wrong. I was the one trying to seduce him," Saora said nonchalantly.

"What the fuck?" Kon thought he had misheard.

"So sexy when you flex your administrative muscles," Saora chuckled.

"You might not have a job after all this settles," Kon said as he recovered.

"I don't really give a shit. I hate working," Saora admitted.

"I want you in this apartment all the time every day so I can keep an eye on you," Kon said seriously.

"I'll think about it," Saora said, having no intention of agreeing.

While the Vindicator HQ was a clusterfuck, Saora stayed with Kon at his palace. That night, Saora invited Kon for a game of pool. "Mind if I break your balls?" she asked.

"By all means," Kon smirked.

Saora expertly broke the balls up and got a solid in the pocket. She then got another solid in the pocket. Kon went behind her and distracted her, forcing her to miss the next one. Kon then got three in a row before missing the next one. The two went back and forth until they both were at the eighth ball. Saora got the eighth ball in the correct pocket but then scratched.

"Nice," Kon smiled as he won.

"You going to spank me over what I did to Garth?" Saora assumed.

Kon got close to her. "I'm going to be very rough with you.

"Oh, you'll try," Saora said as her eyes glowed red.

Kon instantly got to cover as Saora fired heat vision beams through the walls. Kon raised his index finger and fired back with rapid-fire ki beams. Saora took cover as well and fired back. Kon casually went down the hall toward the kitchen. The two intercepted each other and fired heat vision and ki beams at each other, destroying the kitchen. Kon was a precise assassin, whereas Saora was a spray-and-pray kind of gal. The apartment walls were lined with lead to make their fights more challenging for each other.

"Your aim is as bad as your cooking, sweetheart," Kon mocked.

Saora continued to fire heat vision beams across the kitchen. Kon blasted her with a fireball attack, which forced her back. Kon emerged from the fire and attacked Saora with physical attacks, forcing Saora into her own bedroom. The two wrecked the place as their punches went through the walls. Kon then tossed Saora across the hallway into the dining room, where she tore through the table.

"That's right, come to daddy," Kon mocked.

Saora punched him to the face, head butted him and then kicked him into a display cabinet destroying it. "You're my daddy? Prove it, you punk-ass kid."

Kon tackled Saora to the floor, but she quickly got on top of him and started beating on his face. Kon reversed her and put her in a good stranglehold. "Go to sleep, go to sleep," Kon whispered to her.

Saora put her fingers in Kon's face to get him to back off. Kon swiped her hands off of him and went for a punch. Saora evaded the punch and put Kon in a headlock, where she punched him to the ribs a few times. Kon picked her up off the floor and slammed her into random objects on the wall, including a wine collection. Saora took two wine bottles and smashed them on Kon's head. Kon picked her up and gave her a good spanking. Saora elbowed Kon's shoulders hard until they both dropped to the floor. Saora punched Kon several times while they were on the floor until Kon reversed her and got free of her. He then gave her some nice kicks to the gut against the couch. Saora retaliated by kicking him in the balls, dropping him.

The two got to their feet quickly and fired at each other at the same time. Kon and Saora's heat vision beams met in the middle, creating a flash of light that destroyed the entire apartment.

The next morning, Kon was at the gym. Exercising on Earth was tough for an Insane as none of the equipment could handle his full strength. Instead, Kon had to lower his power level to near nothing, tear up his muscles with weight training, and then quickly regenerate. This would gradually increase his base level. Saora entered the gym with frazzled hair in ruined pajamas. She saw Kon showing off by balancing on the gymnastics bar with just his arms while the rest of his body was suspended in the air.

"You sleep alright?" Kon asked.

"Sure," Saora rolled her eyes. "I had this weird dream where our apartment was destroyed along with all of our stuff. Then, I realized it wasn't a dream."

"It's just stuff. Memories last forever," Kon said dismissively. He then hoisted her on top of his gymnastics bar. "I want us to no longer be separated," he said seriously.

"Why?" Saora asked, confused.

"What do you mean why?" Kon asked incredulously. "Look, I know I'm complicated...,"

"Kon, don't flatter yourself. You're a simple creature, easily predictable," Saora shot down.

"So...?" Kon wondered.

"We'll announce the end of our separation at your family party this weekend," Saora said.

Kon made a royal appearance in Seattle at the Space Needle and then decided to take a helicopter ride back to Metropolis instead of just flying. The helicopter suffered engine failure and crashed in the middle of the Washington forest near Mt. St. Helens. When Kon didn't immediately report in, the Daily Planet was all over it. In Metropolis, Kara and Saora hung out at her palace as rescue teams looked for Kon.

"He's going to be fine, probably, maybe," Kara said unconcernedly. "I'm so glad you're here with us and in Kon's life. You've made such a difference to him."

"I have?" Saora wondered, not observing any significant growth from him.

"He never let anyone get close until you came around," Kara clarified.

"Secretly, he adores you," Saora told her.

"I know. But children grow apart from their parents, and that's fine, as long as they're happy. And he is happy with you. And that's all I ever wanted, except that whole thing about him needing to be a prince, a military leader, a warrior, a technical genius, a financial guru, a devout Christian, and a competent father," Kara listed off.

"Sup?" Kon said as he entered the room. He was wearing a dirty black shirt with a House of El crest on it. "Miss me?"

"No," Saora said, giving him an odd look.

The royal family had dinner to discuss the tale. In attendance was Kara, Mon, Mara, Bro, Kon, and Saora. "So, that's when all my instruments lit up. Had a fire in the tail, lost both engines," Kon said.

"Both?" Kara asked skeptically.

"Yeah, both," Kon said defensively. "I tried to find somewhere safe to land, but it was all trees. We hit them pretty hard, but luckily we were both able to crawl out of there."

"You're referring to yourself and your assistant, right?" Saora questioned.

"Right, you should have seen the look on her face when I didn't immediately fly her out of the helicopter. It was priceless. Worth the price of a helicopter being destroyed," Kon grinned.

"And then, in the middle of the forest with no one watching, you fucked her," Saora accused. Kon gave her a stupefied look.

"Thanks for the meal, we better be going," Mara said quickly and then took Bro with her.

"Thanks for coming, Bro. It means the world to me," Kon said as he gave Mara an annoyed look of betrayal.

"Well, it's late and we should get some rest," Kara said, hoping to end the discussion.

"No, I want to hear more about this tale," Mon grinned.

"I didn't fuck her. I was the hero. I saved her. Yes, we ended up in a river, yes, we took our clothes off in front of each other, and yes, we walked around the forest naked, but that's survival skills 101. You don't wear dirty, cold, wet clothes," Kon said.

"Here, here," Mon agreed.

"That sounds like bullshit. You can warm yourself instantly," Saora doubted.

"Well, my assistant can't, and I wasn't about to light her on fire in the attempt," Kon excused.

"Kon, you're getting punished when we get home," Saora promised.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Kon said exasperatedly.

"Okay, we're going to bed now. Mon, let's go," Kara ordered.

Kon frowned as Kara and Mon left the room, leaving them alone. "I thought we were going to announce the end of our separation."

"That was before you incompetently failed to do a systems check on your helicopter properly, failed to fly properly, failed to rescue your assistant properly, and failed to remain faithful to me properly," Saora scolded.

"So...how can I make it up to you?" Kon asked flatly.

"You're going to fuck me in the shower, with your clothes on, in freezing cold water," Saora ordered.

"Damn," Kon frowned.

In the shower, the two fought over their clothes with Kon trying to strip them both down and Saora resisting him. They also fought over the temperature controls, with Kon warming the shower up with his ki and Saora instantly freezing the stall when he did. Afterward, the two entered Kon's dungeon, filled with various torture devices. Kon rotated the walls, so the entire room was a series of mirrors. The two were fully clothed, soaking wet.

Saora suddenly took a black-star alloy blade and went after Kon with a vengeance. He blocked or evaded her several times, picked her up over his shoulder, and slammed her to the mirror floor. He then picked her back up and slammed her against a mirror wall. The two struggled a bit as Kon disarmed her. Kon then threw her against the wall like a boss. Saora got back on her feet and went for more punches. Kon dodged her and kicked her back. Saora went for another punch; Kon caught her arm, broke it after his shoulder, and then went for a finishing stab with the knife he had taken from her. Saora blocked the knife with her hand, with the knife going right through her palm. Kon then forced the knife into her chest, dropping her.

"Safe word?" Kon asked her as he powered up a ki sphere in his hand.

"Mara," Saora rolled her eyes.

Kon nodded, took hold of her, and slammed her against the mirror wall. "You do realize you're fucked up in the head to have your sister's name as your safe word, right?" Saora mocked.

"Yeah," Kon agreed and then injected her with a hormone supplement. He stripped the top of her dress off so that her back and breasts were bare, and then turned her around. "Now, I'm going to milk the cow."

Saora shook her head, dismayed as Kon went down on her nipple and got that sweet milk from her. When Kon was finished, he had milk on his lip. "Got milk?" he chuckled.

"Glad I could feed you, master," Saora mocked.

"I feed you, too," Kon reminded her.

"How?" Saora asked.

"With my dick...in your mouth," Kon said obviously.

Saora suddenly kicked Kon in the dick, dropping him, and then stripped him of his clothes. She then got a bucket of liquid wax and poured it on him. With her heat vision, she heated up the wax so that he was covered in it. She then made out with him as the wax slid around both their bodies. "You smell like a woman," Saora smiled as the wax was scented with flowers.

Kon instantly incinerated the wax off him. "Program: Green Lightning." Green lights immediately came out, sapping them of their power.

"And what is this supposed to be?" Saora asked curiously.

"You'll see," Kon said as he embraced her and made out with her. Suddenly, electrical discharges hit them both from emitters all over the room.

"Fuck," Saora said painfully, not realizing what was happening.

Kon continued to aggressively make out with her as they got shocked repeatedly. Saora finally realized the shocks were in response to them being in close proximity. She attempted to escape Kon, only to be taken to the floor and shocked repeatedly by the emitters while they wrestled. Saora cried out in pain and arousal as Kon dominated her on the floor. Saora eventually focused and did a reversal on Kon. She stripped herself down and began to ride him as the two of them were shocked every so often.

"I'm going to put a baby inside you," Kon said to her.

"Yes, Kon, do it," Saora replied. "Breed me."

The chances of getting pregnant with the green Kryptonian radiation and constant electrical shocks were near nil this night, but it turned them both on regardless. The mirrors then rotated, becoming screens of downtown Metropolis. "Oh my God," Saora said as she saw people, vehicles, and the entire square watching them. Eventually, a crowd noticed them and stood around. The entire thing was a simulation, but it was still unnerving regardless.

"Keep going," Kon encouraged her.

Saora tried to block out the crowd and focus on the task at hand. As she did, the crowd made social commentary on what they were witnessing, greatly distracting her. "Okay, too much. Mara," Saora relented.

"Program, forest," Kon ordered.

The Metropolis Square became an empty, peaceful forest. "This is nice," Saora said, pleased.

"Wait for it," Kon smiled as simulated ants crawled all over them and began to bite them.

"This is bullshit," Saora said dismayed.

"It's over once you get me to cum," Kon told her.

"Fuck," Saora realized as Kon was a sexual stud, able to last for hours if he wanted to. She rode him as hard as she could, grunting and hissing in effort, and strangling him. After what seemed like an eternity, Saora finally got him off.

"End program," Kon ordered. The green lights faded, and the walls became ordinary again.

The next evening, Kon and Saora went to a royal party at Kara's palace. "At your service," a woman said, handing them champagne drinks. She gave Kon a flirtatious smile and then left the scene.

Kara then approached Kon. "Who was that?" she asked of the woman.

"Oh, she's my third wheel," Kon said bluntly.

"Well, okay then," Kara said, regretting that she had asked, and then noticed the woman had bleached skin and had dyed her hair blond. "So good to see you again," she said to Saora.

"You heard us last night?" Kon assumed.

"You know, I took it for granted you two wouldn't act like freaks in my own house, but...turns out, I was wrong," Kara said, scandalized.

Kon tapped his wine glass a few times to gain everyone's attention. "I wanna thank you all for coming this evening. I was expecting a large gathering, and here you are. But I'm happy that you're all here because I have an announcement to make. As most of you know, yesterday, I had a narrow escape with my hot secretary. And something like that reminds me of what really matters and how important it is to save the day. We should cherish the people we can about and who care about us. Mom, Dad, I know I haven't been the perfect son, but I owe everything to you, both, so thank you," Kon began.

"But that's not the announcement. I have asked my wife, Saora, to end our separation, and she said yes. So, there you have it," Kon concluded.

The crowd gave WTF looks and polite applause.

The gathering went outside and witnessed fireworks in celebration of...the end of the separation. In the distance, a disgruntled Garth eyed the party. "Soon, I'll have my revenge," he said, resolved.

Author's Notes: I decided to go with Fifty Shades Darker because Kon and Saora's relationship has already matured at this point, so the first film wouldn't have worked. It's also, objectively, the most WTF of the three. I decided to incorporate my own novice understanding of BDSM into this chapter because, honestly, Fifty Shades is the most vanilla form of it ever put to screen. Rick and Morty did it better.