The wind blew softly as the night felt dim and feeble. In silence they lay awaiting for the light to shine through the quiet night. Seconds that felt like minutes passed. Minutes that felt like hours progressed when finally the light arose.
"Kari…please don't leave me" T.K. tightly clung onto her once hollow body. Kari could feel warm drops of water on her shoulders from the arms that tightly embraced her despite the shakes that he demonstrated. "I don't want you to go…" he said with his voice still cracking.
"T.K…I'm right here,okay?" she had decided to wait to say what had happened. Right now, she needed to make sure he was okay. She was able to see clearly the part of himself he had desperately tried hiding. Desperately tried to pretend it didn't exist, but he wasn't fooling her and nor was he fooling himself.
"I…I know you are, but I-" He could feel himself shaking. The more and more he tried to calm himself the more panic set in. Even though he could feel she was there he couldn't help, but still feel anxious. For some reason, he didn't have the strength to let go of her.
"T.K. you're going to break her bones" Patamon fluttered by and sadly looked at his partner. Even though she was right there he still had despair all over his face, it was a look that reminded him of the nights they had. The nights where he had to get closer to him just to remind his partner he was still there.
"I'm…sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you" he made sure she could stand before embarrassedly letting go and forming a small bashful smile. He wanted to just pretend this never happened, but he knew that wouldn't be possible. She never would let it, he couldn't ever think of a time she had left someone who needed help alone and right now as much as he hated to admit it…he needed help. He wasn't that person who could have hope right now. He was the person who was trapped in the darkness of the despair that consumed his mind. He was the person he hated the most.
"T.K… it's okay. You didn't hurt me. I promise." Kari looked at him sadly ,but he was unable to meet her eyes. He was hiding something, no that wasn't right. He was hiding someone. A part of himself that she could tell he hated. The same part of himself that she had to stop as he reached out for Patamon who flew away with an infection, an infection that broke them down. An infection that was another bitter farewell. The ones that he was so used to being in his life."You can talk to me, you know"
"No no it's fine…I'm okay yeah you're right. I'm sorry for you know" He jumbles his words and looks at her with a small smile, an unsettling deceitful smile, one that she was able to see through clearly. The one he always thought was enough to escape. She looked down on the floor, she could sense his worry and his sadness even though he was trying to lie with a smile. Silence continued to fill the eternal night till finally she spoke.
"When was the last time someone was there to hold you…?" The way he had held her, there was something that felt very lonely about it. It was a different way of asking, when was the last time you were scared because someone you cared about left, but she didn't want to ask that, because she didn't want to hurt him anymore then he already was. It was another way to ask for permission to be there for him. To help him pick up the pieces that were held together by a fragile adhesion.
T.K. stayed silent for a moment and spoke "It was when Patamon and the other digimon left, after the reboot. It was Matt…" the memories of that day filled his mind. It was a painful week where he had to watch someone he loved leave him yet again. Now his brother is gone too. He could feel the tears beginning to form in his eyes again, it seemed that no matter how hard he tried to keep the people he loved close to him, they always vanished, and he was powerless to do anything about it.
"And before that…?" she softly asked. A part of her feeling upset at herself for not having been there for him. After all, it always felt like he was there when she needed him. He closed his eyes and spoke honestly
"Other than Patamon, I don't remember" a small tear left his eye and he put his hand over his face. He didn't want her to see this person. Sure she had seen him before and even comforted him, but she deserved better. Someone else should have been the bearer of the Crest of Hope, not someone like him who couldn't even keep the light shining.
"Sorry, I'm being pathetic. I should be asking if you're okay, but instead I'm here crying like a lost little kid." T.K. wiped his eyes and looked away. This wasn't the side of himself he wanted to show to anyone, not even Patamon. It was a side of himself he hated, the side that was weak and powerless to do anything. The same side of himself he had to constantly live with, the side that watched Angemon vanish with feathers floating away.
"T.K. it's okay" Patamon nuzzled his partner's neck and looked at him sadly. As much as T.K. tried to hide it, Patamon was able to sense that pain, that hatred he could feel coming from his partner's broken heart. "You don't have to pretend to not be sad" Patamon looked at him with a sad smile, a sad smile that made his heart sink. It was the same smile he had given him before the infection, the smile that made him want to burst into tears just looking at it.
"There's nothing wrong with crying. It's okay to let it all out." Kari looked at the gap between them and decided to close it by wrapping her arms around him; she had to make sure he knew she was there. This was probably the least she could do for him, after all he had done so much for her, she wanted to be there for him too, like he was for her.
"I could never see you as pathetic. In my eyes you'll always be strong, always be admirable, always be enough" She spoke, gently holding him as he stayed silent and breathed slowly, allowing himself to feel her warm light.
"You can rely on me as much as you tell me to rely on you." T.K. looked down at the floor, he only felt the need to apologize further. He didn't want her to worry about him she had enough to think about already, without him making a big fuss.
"Sorry…I" his throat tightened around every word that left his mouth. It felt like he was being suffocated, as much as he may have wanted to speak there were no words that would leave his lips.
"T.K., I care too much about you to leave you without a fight."
There was a silence in the air where the words lingered in the night. She had seen right through him. Somehow Kari had known his fears of losing everyone he cared about. Really he shouldn't have been surprised, but T.K. found that he was at a loss for words. It was a bit embarrassing that she had remembered those words. They felt heavy yet warm. There was a certain tenderness of it being repeated almost word for word that brought him a sense of comfort. Was he really worth fighting for? There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she was worth it so hearing her say that…It made him happy.
"Thank you…" He said, closing his eyes and finally taking in the moment and returning the gesture and letting himself cry a little longer. They both stay in silence, feeling the moon shining on them as they stay in the moment. A moment that felt eternal, but not for the wrong reasons. A moment that was blissfully comfortable despite the impending doom.
"You don't need to thank me. I'm doing this because I care about you, more than I could ever really express in words" Kari finally responds to him. For some reason she didn't want to let go of him, but they couldn't stay like that all night. She let go of him and took a step back.
T.K. took a deep breath and stayed in silence. Even though the moment ended, he could still feel her warmth and he was grateful for it. He knew she cared, but hearing it outloud…it felt so nice that it pushed him to more tears and he couldn't deny it. Being remembered like that…it made him feel like he mattered.
Kari looked at him and smiled. She hadn't lied for a second. When she said he was strong, when she said he was enough. She meant every word. She had seen him change over the years, at times she felt he had left her behind, but he was still as moving as always.
"You've really grown up you know" Kari looked at the ground, she felt embarrassed at the words ,but somehow she knew those were the words she needed to say the most. His eyes reflected a kind of look that said he was as pathetic as he was back then, but the truth was he had always been strong, even back then. T.K. felt the warmth rise in his cheeks and he looked away, embarrassed as well.
"You've grown too ,but you're still as kind as always." It was somewhat bizarre to him that somehow everyday he could only care more and more about her ,but he couldn't help himself, she was an irreplaceable piece of his life. He wanted her to always be in it.
"Hey why are the two of you acting so shy?" Patamon flapped his wings and placed himself on his partner's head. "We won't tell" the little creature smiled in innocence. Somehow the comment had only made things worse with neither of them being able to look the other in the eye.
Gatomon attempted to hide a smirk, but it was a difficult situation to be placed in. Like Patamon, she didn't really understand why they were so embarrassed. They had always made it obvious to each other how much they cared for one another. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of. Gatomon motioned for her partner to pick her up and then spoke, "We should return before it's too late."
The two humans nodded as they began to make their way back. "Kari…What happened back there?" He was somewhat afraid to ask ,but decided it was for the best. She looked over at the moonlit shore that stood to her left, remembering the day her brother had come back when she thought he had gone missing forever. A part of her was looking over at the sea hoping that he would come out of those waves, just as he did once before, but knowing it wouldn't happen
She looks at him, hoping that he wouldn't forget what she said, "It was a place…I never thought I'd see again ,but I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't stopped seeing it in my dreams. Maybe I went there in those times too, but I know I was there for sure this time."
"We'll find them. I know it" he says as he wraps his hand around hers and lifts it up, looking her in the eye. Silently swearing to himself he would never let them take her. She looks at him and nods, feeling as if the look in his eyes said something different then what he said. It wasn't that he didn't believe what he had said, he had said it with such certainty earlier that she was sure he meant it and still did, but now it felt like he was really saying something else.