Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Oshi No Koi

5 seconds...

Five seconds wasn't usually considered a long time, but in certain situations, it stretched on like an eternity, a hell that couldn't end fast enough.

No one knew this better than most currently inside the apartment.

Ichigo Saitou, his disbelieving eyes still wide, appeared completely discombobulated by well…. everything. His frenzied eyes couldn't decide if they wanted to focus on the much taller blonde man or the children, who were staring at said man blankly. His signature black shades were missing, leaving his bulging, fish-like eyes to reveal just how lost he really was. His hands moved mechanically, still clapping slowly as if in a daze.

The once-cocky businessman had, it seemed, finally bent a knee to the unpredictable teenager known as Ai Hoshino.

The strawberry-blonde Miyako, on the other hand, couldn't tear her gaze from the twins, her worry plainly etched on her face. Her eyes darted to the blue eyed man but kept her mouth sealed despite the reluctance and want to intervene on her face.

Her hands clenched her purse.

Himawari and Boruto well, they couldn't really see considering their father's form was obscuring their vision.

As for the man of the hour himself, he was currently even more baffled than everyone here combined. Naruto wouldn't lie but this was the last place he'd expect a glare anything remotely similar to what he got when he was younger.

And this one wasn't even racially fueled.

One had to remember, for any to be a strong shinobi, they couldn't exactly perceive things at the same rate regular people did. The ability to take on an entire situation in a second wasn't a taught skill but something instinctively gained only through the highest order of battle.

So that simple 5 seconds of silence and painful claps- they were even longer for him.

'W-why am I being stared at like I'm a criminal? Do I smell?' Naruto tried to keep his eyes away from the accusing stares and could not understand for the life of him why he was feeling a creeping sense of shame bubbling up in him. Like he failed at an integral part of being a human being.

Weird.

He even held back the urge to sniff his arm, not wanting to draw anymore attention from the blank toddler's stares directly resting on his face.

Did he really smell that bad? Damn he thought old spice had smelt rather pleasant but it seems he had been led astray.

The most unpredictable Shinobi had no answers to the situation.

And yet-

A well-brushed head of purple hair, framed by a wide, beaming smile, flashed past him in a flurry of excitement. The lithe, almost ethereal idol seemed to glide through the awkward scene as if it were nothing, without even a passing thought in her brain as usual.

"Aquamarine, Ruby! Happy birthday! Mama is so proud of you!"

Time resumed its normal pace as the idol nearly dove toward the toddlers, sweeping them up in an exaggerated, exuberant hug. She showered their stiff little faces with kisses, her joy so over the top that even their frozen forms began to melt at the crazy display of affection only a mother could have.

"Ughh~! It's only been three years yet you both are already so big! If only you could stay small forever-!"

'Heh, if only right?' Naruto felt the corners of his mouth rising, seeing the woman hug the now blushing toddlers, rubbing his own children's heads fondly. Honestly it was so amazing how something that started so small was nearly as tall as his waist.

And that was coming from the man who regrew an entire eyeball from scratch-

However the blonde sweat dropped, seeing a downright evil glare being directed at the side of his head through his peripheral vision.

What was this guy's problem?

"Let's not waste any more time, everyone's already gathered to celebrate, so let's enjoy today. Also, there's someone special I'm really excited for you two to meet!" Naruto felt a sudden chill at those words.

Wait, did she mean him? She couldn't mean him right? Did she not see how they reacted to him the second they came inside? They even went stiff again in her arms!

She wasn't that airheaded right?

Naruto felt a bit relieved. Ai was a bit…Ai but he doubted even she would be able to miss this-

When her head tilted and her six-pointed stars stared directly at him with a sweet smile, Naruto realized that…

Yes.

She meant him.

He tried to stay calm, he really did, but it was difficult when the woman turned around sharply, holding two stone-faced toddlers in the crooks of her arms like a seasoned mother, moving toward him far too quickly!

'No, no, no, no-!' The Uzumaki began sweating-

"You two, I'd like you to meet youuuur-"

"-mama's friend! He and his children came all the way here to celebrate with us. Isn't it amazing! Don't be shy, he's a very nice man." Ai spoke softly to the two rocks in her arms, a bit nervous herself for some reason but something else she couldn't pin down that made her want to show off her children so much to Uzumaki sensei and she wondered why.

Still, she waved those feelings away as she came to stand before the man who seemed unusually still. She could only say it came from her pride of being the mother of such adorable children.

Ai paused right in front of the man to stare up at his face intently for a reaction and was pleasantly surprised by the slight struggle she found. Perhaps he was as giddy as she was for this meeting? She could never truly pin down what he was thinking but it seemed true most likely.

"Sensei. Allow me to introduce these two birthday kids to you." With barely restrained excitement, Ai's eyes clouded with anticipation looked down to the toddlers at her blossom wondering which one to introduce first.

Completely unaware of the dawning fright on so many faces.

'Aqua…no this is Ruby!' Ai felt 80 percent sure of it this time as she looked down into the wide, pleading eyes of her daughter.

'Ah~ She must be so excited to meet her Mama's first friend, I'll start with you first Ruby!' Ai's lips curled as she looked up, ignoring the subtle shaking in her arms.

"Sensei, this is Ruby! She loves watching reruns of my work, breastfeeding, hugs and time with her mama! She loves to talk and follows me everywhere I go! Does her physique get sensei's stamp of approval~?" Completely in her own world the idol teased the man as his head turned down slowly.

…

"She's a very healthy and cute little girl, Ai. The resemblance is uncanny and she seems to have grown up with lots of love-" It came a bit late but the man didn't disappoint as his eyes softened leaning over to peek at the wild eyed, crazy looking toddler.

Ai took a startled breath.

'Oh.'

The L word.

That was…not what she wasn't expecting at all. Ai could not control the way her heart began beating, drumming in her chest, overwhelmed by far too many emotions. Sensei just had to go and say that of all things huh? He truly had no filter. She couldn't believe- love really? Was that his first thought? She wanted to protest, did she really but-

This was Sensei.

Uzumaki sensei.

The wisest, most old fashioned person she knew. Someone who went beyond for his kids, in ways she didn't even think you could before she met him. His word was basically law so long as it didn't have anything to do with being young, cool, or relevant in this decade.

Ai also never once believed in her own judgement. She was too stupid, she couldn't even graduate something as basic as highschool, she had no common sense, she had gotten pregnant at so young, she had jeopardized her own career, she was lucky to even have that-

She was not wanted and her own opinions were not to be trusted.

And yet….

It was okay to trust him wasn't it? Wasn't that what she had been doing so far? Perhaps she was being too impulsive but was this any different from when Saitou san had recruited her?

Before she even realized-

"Would you like to hold her?" The words slipped out suddenly, without warning, and she didn't care to take them back. Her gaze remained fixed on him, slightly dazed. In fact, she realized, this might have been the first time she had ever said those words.

Ruby whimpered softly, a scandalized gasp echoing from somewhere in the back.

Sensei's face twitched, clearly caught off guard but pleased by the unexpected offer.

'Are you sure?' His eyes seemed to be saying and just that alone made her very sure.

She nodded.

'But are you really sure though?' He asked again, his eyes flickering to Ruby as if trying to tell her something.

It went over her head.

'Yes sensei! Please take my second born!' She replied before gesturing over to her right side as if delivering her up like a lamb to slaughter.

'Okay, but are you really really-'

'Sensei!'

"All right! Hand her over." The man extended his hands and the woman nearly cheered but settled on another wide smile.

"Mmmm! Mmnnnm! Mnnnnnnn!" The subsequent squeaks were ignored as the petrified toddler was given to the man.

"Ah, Ruby! You have to let go of Mama!" Ai nearly giggled, watching the death grip Ruby had on her sleeve. She began prying her fingers off one by one, playfully imitating a certain cliff-hanging movie cliché.

Ruby's eyes were wide with terror, her face trembling as if she'd been betrayed. She clung to Ai with all her might, but soon enough, she was securely settled in the man's arms. Ruby didn't make a sound as he awkwardly adjusted her, her expression still one of pure shock and betrayal, as though she was being sold away.

Ai was relieved. Ruby seemed to like Sensei too! That was great.

She then turned her attention to the next toddler in her arms.

Aqua shivered, turning away from the execution and stared back at her with a stiff face clearly wondering if it was his turn now.

"M-Mama? Please don't-"

Ai grinned.

It wasn't long before two pairs of lifeless eyes were fixed on her, the twins nestled in a hip carry. The idol couldn't help but coo as she reached for her phone.

"You all look perfect! Everyone, please gather for a fam-Ahem, group photo!"

At last, two small heads peeked out from behind the tall man's legs.

"Even us?" Himawari and Boruto asked in unison, their curiosity piqued.

"Yes, please! It wouldn't be a picture without you two sweeties, would it?" The woman beamed, delighted by the smiles she received as they quickly took their places in front of the man, posing adorably.

Ai's head then swiveled to the idle observers who flinched back in mutual terror.

"Saitou San! Miyako san! Aren't you coming for the picture?"

"Ah Ai, I don't think it would be appropriate and there isn't enough space-" The man immediately began babbling some excuse as his wife hastily nodded.

"Huh? That doesn't make sense! There's more than enough space, and forget about all the other stuff. This is just for the birthday!" Ai interrupted, giving them an unintentional stern look that immediately silenced their objections.

Seeing the look in her eyes, the couple exchanged surprised glances before sighing in unison, reluctantly accepting her request.

With that 7 people gathered in front of Ai, stiff, plastic expressions, shifty eyes, sweaty hands-

Ai saw none of it. Instead she sucked in a pleased breath and snapped as many photos as she could before temporarily switching to video recording.

And it was on this day that they would know true pain as their faces twisted in horror when the oblivious woman began to sing-

"Happy Birthday to you~"

"Pssst dad! When is the party gonna start?! This is kinda boring!" Boruto complained quietly, as everyone barring Ai who went to get the cake, sat at the dining table.

"Shh. Don't be rude Boruto, just wait, it will start soon, here you and Himawari can use my phone." Naruto reassured the boy sitting in the chair next to him whose eyes lit up when Naruto offered his phone.

Naruto just massaged his eyebrows, taking out his phone and left the two kids to fight over who got to use it first.

'I thought I was going to die. Not even Kaguya got this close.' Who would have thought this goldfish of a girl would have been the one to nearly take him out? It was admirable that she hardly cared how her actions looked but man.

He could only count his stars that his children were too young to understand the concept of embarrassment.

Naruto glanced across the table, watching as the male twin hesitantly rose from his chair and walked toward him, his stride uncertain yet determined. His counterpart followed, albeit more slowly.

'Now this is interesting.'

He pushed his chair back slightly to turn and face them. He'd sensed something was off with Ai's children, and he was quietly pleased to confirm his suspicions.

"Hello, sir. You might know me as Aqua, and this is my sister, Ruby. It's nice to… meet you?" The blonde boy, one half of the toddler duo, stepped forward. He glanced at Naruto, his eyes full of emotion, while speaking in an unexpectedly sophisticated manner that took him off guard.

"No need for sir, Aquamarine, right? Just call me Naruto." Naruto, still puzzled, noticed the subtle complexities in the boy's expression after his blunt reply. The child was clearly trying hard not to appear displeased.

'Do toddlers even have that many thoughts?'

"Please call me Aqua, Naruto san. Everyone else does it so it will be quite awkward otherwise…" He seemed very adamant on it.

'Huh? Do toddlers really care about that stuff yet? You just turned three today, kid…' Naruto resisted the urge to scratch his head. The situation was getting stranger by the second. He recalled his sensei, a six-year-old prodigy, and wondered if Ai's son might be similar. But something still felt off...

Three years old seemed a bit much, didn't it? Or maybe he was being arrogant, assuming that such things were impossible. After all, there was no reason this world couldn't have its own prodigies.

'Ai's son…what a weird thought.'

"All right, Aqua, nice to meet you and Ruby. Ai's spoken highly of you two for a while." Naruto extended his hand, thinking he'd made a good bid to appease the family, but was shocked when two distinct animalistic growls echoed from the little girl and another across the table.

Huh?

Naruto glanced over frowning seeing the blonde man glaring at him from the corner of his eyes before being forcefully turned by his wife who gave him a strained yet apologetic smile.

Naruto had to ask again.

What the heck did he do?

"Please don't mind Ruby, Naruto san. My sister is just really shy in front of new people and thank you all for attending our party, we've hardly had many guests before!" Was the reasoning he got when looking back down to a sweating Aqua, who hastily began shaking his hand, sending subtle glares at said girl.

…

"I see. No problem kid, thanks for having us over and good job on protecting your baby sister. Ai clearly did a good job raising you." Naruto decided to cut him some slack and not pay attention to his negative emotion sensing.

Aqua looked relieved at that, if a bit embarrassed at the genuine praise heaped onto him, not denying it. His gaze wandered over to Naruto's right and he visibly hesitated for a second but the father in the older blonde couldn't deny the child.

"Curious?" Aqua nodded slowly at Naruto's teasing question.

"These are your children Naruto san? May I ask how old they are?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. The question sounded innocent at first glance but he wasn't sure. Especially with the way his sister's face darkened behind him.

He glanced at his two children who were trying their utmost to like they weren't interested and titled his head with a smile.

That seemed to be all the invitation they needed as they scrambled.

"I'm 3! But I'll be 4 soon!" Boruto held up his fingers reaching over his lap and Naruto reached over and plucked up Himawari.

"And I'm 2!" She said as soon as he sat her down on his lap holding up 2 fingers.

Nodding Naruto was satisfied before he looked at the boy who seemed to be in deep contemplation with his hand on his chin.

"Any other questions, Aqua?" It was better than that awkward silence they had been sitting in.

Looking surprised that he was willing to answer, the toddler didn't waste any time at all.

"I actually do. Naruto san, how did Mama meet you? Not to be abrupt but this is the first time we've met and Mama doesn't have many friends. It's fine if it's too sensitive of course…"

A completely normal question….from a adult anyway, that Naruto would usually have no problems answering-

That is, if he didn't feel everyone, except his own kids, leaning forward in anticipation. He caught a glimpse of the starry gleam in Ruby's eye as she slightly turned her head toward him. Even the composed boy in front of him seemed unusually focused, as if ready to dissect every word he said.

Naruto didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry but he wasn't one to hold on to little things. And it was cute, he wouldn't deny it.

"Your mother huh?" Naruto thought back to the store and the position he found her in and nearly snorted. Still he wouldn't besmirch her honor like that-

"Honestly I think I met your mother more than she met me. She's quite a force of nature and one can't help but stop to admire her before she takes off again. I helped her out a bit and things just escalated from then." Naruto almost barked a quick laugh despite his excellent muscle control.

Indeed admirable below diapers!

He had thought he did a amazing job not explicitly saying how but their reactions said otherwise.

'Hmm?' Naruto wondered why he was now the subject to so many dazed stares after the statement.

"Force of nature…an apt description for Mama Naruto san. Y-you-" The toddler sounded like he was swallowing a lemon as he spoke.

"You know her well."

"Just a little." Naruto shrugged, still confused at the conversation or rather who it was with.

Aqua opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could, his sister, her patience unraveling with each passing second, pushed him aside to stand in front of him and stare into his eyes.

"Ruby?!"

"What do you do for a living?"

'Ah, she finally speaks!' Naruto couldn't help but joke internally, though his expression remained calm.

"Ruby, is it? What do you mean for a living?" Naruto gently patted down Himawari, who clearly didn't appreciate the way her father was being addressed.

"Mama is a super star, one who will rule Japan one day and no ordinary chump can be her friend so what is your job, Mr Zuzumaki?"

"Ruby…it's Mr Uzumaki. Don't be rude…" Aqua sighed and the girl shrugged.

"That's what I said isn't it?"

"No it isn't!"

"Eh? Ah well."

"You-"

Naruto watched in amusement as the duo argued comically. It was easy to figure out the dynamics just by the little display. He allowed them to continue for a bit before getting their attention again when he spoke.

"Well Ruby, if you have to know, I own a dojo and I'm a martial arts instructor. Though I do own a couple of businesses here and there as well." Naruto was quite curious about the fire in the girl's eyes when she looked at him as opposed to the measured, almost calculating look of her twins.

Why did she feel so strongly about him before even meeting him? This was his first time here wasn't it?

Either way she did not look impressed a single bit. In fact the tiny face looked a bit disdainful.

"A martial arts instructor? So you're basically like chiropractors and telemarketers then." She snorted.

"Ruby?! How could you say that-?!"

"What?! It's not like it's untrue is it?!"

Naruto's eyes had widened at the comment, momentarily taken aback. But then, a genuine laugh escaped him, his shoulders shaking with amusement, getting the attention of his children who wondered why he was laughing.

Of course they wouldn't understand their father had just been called a quack considering the validation of a chiropractor or telemarketer job. They didn't even know what those words meant.

"Haha, you know, you're not wrong. A lot of martial arts instructors do come off that way, don't they?" He grinned, not offended in the slightest. Man, this kid was funny. "It's funny, I never thought of myself as a chiropractor or a telemarketer, but hey, if the shoe fits..." He gave a playful shrug.

Ruby blinked, clearly not expecting him to take her comment so lightly, but it was enough to make her frown.

"What?"

Naruto gave her a smirk causing her to narrow her eyes at him. Oh yes, he would enjoy teasing this little firecracker.

"You don't believe in martial arts?"

Naruto was actually surprised by how offended she looked.

"Of course I do! But not dime a dozen dojos that leaches of Japanese culture to rake in cash!"

Ooo~ fiesty.

"And I fit in this category?" Naruto asked with a smile. So she thought he was a fake but still believed in it huh?

She gave him a long look up and down before sneering looking away, not outright saying it knowing she could get in trouble.

Naruto held back his chuckle, swiveling his gaze to a sweating, deeply apologetic Aqua who already seemed to want to bow his head.

"Naruto san, I'm so sorry-!"

"Aqua, can you do me a favour?"

"...huh?"

"Okay everyone, the cake is ready!" Ai shouted happily, turning around, having been adding the final touches and candles hoping she could get back quickly.

"...hmm? Why are they in the...?" Ai trailed off, her smile fading as she realized the dining table was completely empty.

Confused, she set the cake down on the kitchen counter, making sure it wouldn't tip over before she moved towards the living room which was…

Just a couple feet away. You could literally see it from the kitchen.

Ai paused, blinking in surprise. Miyako and Ichigo stood next to the couch, their eyes slightly wide and unblinking as they stared down at the same sight as her.

"Hmm?"

In front of them, sitting comfortably on the carpet, was Sensei, his usual carefree smile replaced by an almost smug expression. Ai glanced down to see her children, Aqua, standing there still shorter than the man sitting and Ruby on her knees looking like her entire worldview was flipped upside down as she gazed down blankly.

'Wait isn't that what Ruby…Aqua asked for? Those and some chopsticks…' Ai was confused so she walked forward and tried to hear their conversation, spying Sensei's children watching the TV further away.

"What's going on here?" Ai asked, her curiosity piqued.

Were those flies in that jar?

"I can't believe it... There's no way..." Ruby's voice trembled as she glanced up and stared at the jar, her hands gripping her head like she was about to implode.

Aqua, too, stood frozen, his face a perfect picture of bafflement. It was rare for her to see him so flustered, and honestly, it was almost as amusing as whatever Sensei was doing.

"I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified, Naruto-san." Aqua muttered, almost in awe.

"Sensei, what did you do to my children?" Ai asked, now genuinely curious as she gently picked up the muttering Ruby and placed her on her lap.

Naruto just grinned. "Oh, you want to know, huh?" he asked, leaning in as if sharing a deep secret.

Ai nodded vigorously, like a baby chicken.

"Sure!" she responded quickly, curious now more than ever.

And just as she said that, Sensei stood up in one smooth motion, causing the flies in the jar to buzz restlessly. Without missing a beat, he unscrewed the jar, and to Ai's horror, and Ruby's visible distress, let the little creatures take flight.

Ai gasped, her hands instinctively rising to shield her face. "Sensei!" she exclaimed, wide-eyed as the flies began to swirl in the room.

But not fazed he simply grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the floor, swiped them in the air like he was trying to wrangle the wind, and within moments, he calmly returned to his seat, the jar in hand.

He twisted the lid back on and presented it to Ai with a flourish, his grin practically stretching off his face.

"Cool right?"

"That's lame dad, you do that all the time ya know?"

"It's pretty lame daddy!"

Ai stared at the jar filled with flies once again, perfectly captured, as if nothing had ever happened while the man's face faulted in the background.

Ai realized….Uzumaki sensei…he knew a lot of useless things as much as useful ones huh?

"Wow, that was a great trick sensei but personally I'd rather use bug spray! Now let's go cut the cake, I'm sure everyone has been waiting." Clapping for the impressive performance, making sure he knew she liked it, Ai stood holding her daughter and moving over to the table calling Aqua with her free hand.

Leaving the man to look at her departure with baffled eyes as his own children quickly followed her hearing the magic word cake!

"That's it?"

Placing the still defeated Ruby in her chair Ai placed her hands on her hips with a smile watching as everyone slowly gathered at the table.

"Miyako san, Saitou san you two have been quiet, is anything wrong?" Taking her party hats and placing them on Ruby and Aqua's heads despite their protest, she posed the question to the two.

"Ai you…" Miyako gave her incredulous look before swallowing painfully.

"Don't worry too much. Just spend your time together as a family for now." Ichigo interrupted with bloodshot eyes glancing around the table.

"It's clear it has been a long time coming. So yeah…don't stop on our account."

Half the table fell silent looking at the man who seemed to have struggled mightily to get those words out and Ai observed, wondering why the man's face looked so soft.

…

"Daddy, is that man okay? He seems really hurt for some reason?" The loud whisper came across the table and into everyone's ears as Ichigo's face twitched.

"Hima not the time."

"Oh okay. I just thought he was constagated like Boruto was. He made the same funny face." The sad whisper came.

A sigh was heard.

"Hima. It's constipated."

A beat.

"Oh. Maybe he can eat some veggies?"

"Himawari."

"Sorry."

Silence reigned once more.

"Pffft- Hiccup-!" A sliver of laughter nearly escaped her lips before she sucked it in through sheer will when her president's eyes swung to her.

Biting her cheeks, knowing not to speak less she laugh, Ai moved over to the cake covered by the box and uncovered it, getting loud ecstatic gasps from Himawari, Boruto and Ruby at the same time.

"Shredder?!

"Dad!/Daddy!"

Confused at the shouts, Ai turned her eyes away from the cake and to Uzumaki sensei who looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Sensei is everything all right?"

"Sensei is everything all right?" Naruto heard the question echo into the far recesses of his mind.

Was he alright? He looked at half the cake that had his failure staring right back at him like a sore one couldn't get rid of.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Naruto's mouth went completely dry as he stared dumbly at the cake.

'Dear god.'

Swallowing wondering why he had to suffer like this, Naruto nodded.

"I'm okay."

He wasn't.

Aqua glanced up from his plate of cake, trying to ignore Ruby's obnoxious smacking as he surveyed the man across the table.

'He isn't… what I expected. He's actually pretty normal? More normal than mom anyway. That earlier scene was amazing.' Aqua couldn't help but think as he watched the man feed his daughter another spoonful of cake, his face softened with indulgence.

To be honest, Aqua had been bracing for the worst. After witnessing the cases of less than stellar parents in his past life and feeling like this new one was almost too perfect, he couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that his father might be the antagonist to this crazy story in a way.

There were so many things that pointed to it, the way his mother never spoke of him, his complete lack of involvement in their lives, and the absence of even a single photo of him in the house. It was hard to ignore that the figure of his father loomed as the biggest mystery, second only to the cause of his reincarnation.

And yet, in front of his eyes was-

"Daddy…why are you counting every time I eat?"

"I'm measuring how much cake you're eating Hima. Health is a main priority."

"Wah! Sensei, just live a little! You can't cut some slack even on a birthday?!"

"I don't want to hear that from someone who ate 26 bites of cake!"

"You were counting?!"

"No, but isn't it telling that you don't know?!"

"Ah?!"

'Jeez mom, he's running circles around you! At least fight back.' Aqua couldn't help but think watching as his mom took her scolding, trying his best not to overanalyze the fond way they argued. His poor little simp heart could not take it but luckily he was more of a son now than a fan.

Still, how could a man like this…do what he did? Aqua didn't know. He couldn't quite say he felt angry about the abandonment though maybe vexed was the right phrase. Despite Ruby's attempt, Aqua could sense rather wealthy lifestyle miles away and the man along with his children oozed it.

Not even mentioning that jeep. Aqua had researched after that day they "met" and knew it was one just manufactured this year.

He couldn't help his selfish thoughts despite feeling so positive about the unexpected turn. Maybe he was being a brat but-

'Why couldn't you help us? You look like you like us so why? You're a father so I don't understand…how can you turn a blind eye?' They weren't struggling but anything to take Ai's mind off this constant need for money would have been great. That was his extent of problems with the man before him.

Yet Aqua would say.

His little vexation had nothing on-

"If you keep stabbing your plate you'll break it." He glanced over to Ruby whose eyes stayed glued onto the spectacle.

"I wish this was his face. Cheeky whiskered bastard." She returned stabbing it though noticeably gentler.

"Mama wouldn't like that." Aqua returned, getting her to grumble but not retort.

Indeed, Ai Hoshino reigned over all.

Though what she said had him thinking.

"Whiskers…huh? I wonder why we don't share the same marks…" He could see the same lines, though less running on the two other kids' faces and couldn't help but wonder how on earth that bit of genetics worked. It was so prominent too…

"Isn't it obvious? Mama's superior blood purged us of our impurities, getting rid of his lineage inside of us. She effectively had a virgin birth as far as I'm concerned." She said it so quickly, so assuredly that Aqua wondered if that was how she convinced herself to sleep every night.

"Right…"

'I can think of a couple issues with that but let's not rile her up. She looks off.' He made the executive decision. He didn't know why his twin seemed to radiate rage but he wouldn't be the one to set her off. Luckily she seemed to be able keep most of her impulses at bay.

His eyes strayed back over to his…siblings? Half siblings? He couldn't help but wonder briefly if they were anything like them.

Reincarnated.

It wasn't too outlandish to him. Clearly something was the cause of their being here so he wouldn't exactly limit himself in thinking it could be impossible.

He stared at what was supposedly his older brother from across the table who seemed to have sensed his attention and looked at him as well.

The boy blew a raspberry at him and Aqua sweatdropped, dropping his earlier thoughts.

'Probably not reincarnations.' With that conclusion he turned back to his cake.

As soon as his plate was cleaned a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.

"Are you 2 finished? It's time to open up your presents!"

Aqua glanced up to see his mother staring at both of them with shining eyes and wondered if she was more excited than them about it.

In the cozy living room, the first round of presents had come from none other than Ichigo Saito himself.

Aqua, sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Ruby, blinked strangely as he pulled the sleek, black sunglasses out of the box. He held them up, studying them curiously.

"These are…" Aqua started, his voice trailing off as he carefully examined the shades, before looking over to the ones on the man's face.

Ichigo, leaning against the wall nodded. "Those are identical sets to mine! Thought you'd like 'em."

'Sunglasses for a toddler? Well I guess he knows we aren't normal, so it's more of a compliment.'

"They're great! Thank you Saitou san." Giving thanks with the appropriate amount of sincerity Aqua bowed his head as the man chuckled.

"Yeah, thanks." Aqua held in his sigh, hearing Ruby speak nonchalantly, not nearly as excited as she should be, tilting her head at her own pink sunglasses before putting them down.

"Hey you…be more grateful!"

"I wanted to get to Mama's own first though!"

Him too but not the point!

Ichigo's shoulders slumped slightly and Miyako, standing next to him leaned in and patted his shoulder. "They're still a bit young to appreciate something like that."

"Hmpf! I bet it'll be better than his!" The man grouched, glancing over to the couch with narrowed eyes.

Ruby's small voice piped up, "Can we open the next one, mama."

"Haiii, here you go and take your time, okay?"

Both toddlers accepted their boxes with another round of thanks, though Aqua couldn't help but glance over at Ai, noticing a certain strange tone in her voice.

He quickly turned away, trying to regain his focus. Ai's gaze was far too gentle, almost mesmerizing, as she silently observed them. Her smile was so soft it made Aqua feel embarrassingly self-conscious.

Why couldn't this idol hide her feelings better?!

'Dangerous! I forgot how dangerous she was! I let my guard down!' he thought to himself, quickly unwrapping the gift from Miyako in an attempt to distract himself.

Both toddlers, however, were about to be surprised by what they got.

"Wow…" Aqua murmured, genuinely impressed as he pulled out the small lava lamp with star-shaped holes for light, examining it in his hands.

Wait a minute...

His head whipped toward Ai, who had tilted her head at his reaction and the item.

"Is it the same shape as my eyes? Miyako-san?" she asked, her voice laced with curiosity.

That wasn't even the end of it. Soon, Aqua's eyes widened again as heard a soft, familiar though different tone. He recognized the melody instantly.

It was one of Ai's very first songs, the instrumental version, and Aqua's head snapped over once again as he saw Ruby's mouth drop open in awe. She was gently turning the handle of a beautifully decorated, tiny music box.

'What?! I've never seen one of those before! Is it some kind of collector's merchandise?!' As an A-grade Ai stan, Aqua couldn't contain his surprise as his expression darkened in jealousy.

His gaze shifted from the music box to Ruby, who now turned toward him with a smug, almost knowing smile. It was as if she could sense his frustration, and the mischievous glint in her eyes only made things worse.

Aqua bit his lips and glared at her but said nothing.

"Now Aqua, I'm sure Miyako san can get you another one right? Where did you get this from anyway? I don't remember it." Unfortunately, his mother decided now to be somewhat observant, making his cheeks explode in red and Ruby to snicker evilly as he gritted his teeth.

"Ah…that won't be possible." Miyako scratched her cheek at the devastated and surprised stares directed her way.

"Oh?"

"You see this was years ago when you first debuted, Ichigo has many prototypes of merchandise for you."

Aqua and Ruby winced.

"So…"

"When you got….ahem-" The woman sent a quick glance to a quiet Uzumaki family who were watching with rapt attention, even sending a little wave.

Cute.

"Pregnant it had to be scrapped. Not only is it very niche for marketing, making things like these aren't really practical in the long run. So these are the only ones! I thought you'd like-

"I love it!" Ruby squealed loudly quickly dashing over to the surprised woman to give her a hug while Aqua followed sedately, also excited,

Even with the pay of a doctor, it was impossible to buy things like this without someone ready to spend their life savings sweeping it up in seconds.

But now it was being handed to him on a silver platter~

'Ah reincarnation, how sweet.'

"It's a very thoughtful gift Miyako san, thank you!" Aqua didn't hug her but he did give her a nod looking into the delighted woman's face.

"That's g-good, I really worked hard to pick it out." She looked away and Aqua was confused by the small sniffle he heard. Was she crying?

Ruby stepped back from the hug, her smile still wide but her gaze flickering awkwardly to Ichigo. Aqua's did the same, exchanging an uncomfortable look with her.

The awkwardness that crept in was especially thick considering he had just given them a gift earlier and their reactions…

Even the man looked a bit lost at the blatant favoritism, gazing blankly between his wife and them.

"You two! You still have more presents!" Ai called them back, unknowingly breaking the tense stare off.

Taking the shout as a lifeline, the twins quickly spun and retreated toward their mother, momentarily acting their age.

Aqua set the lamp gently into the box before placing it aside, only for it to be replaced with another blue box.

"Mama, this one's from…" Aqua trailed off, making a guess as Ruby's face scrunched in brief distaste.

"Yep! Sensei's children!" Aqua didn't know how to respond to the triumphant, smug gleam in her eyes, so he simply began unwrapping the gift.

'I wonder why she calls him sensei instead of something else?'

Just as the package started to unfold, Ruby gasped in surprise, jolting Aqua out of his thoughts.

Raising an eyebrow but not turning, he finished unwrapping the gift.

'This is... surprisingly normal? Huh.' Aqua blinked at the toy Shredder, immediately recognizing it. He put it down without much thought and glanced at his sister, who he knew would be thrilled with anything related to that character.

Sure enough, just ten seconds later, Ruby returned, her eyes wide and a trail of drool down her chin, looking sheepish for having lost herself so easily.

"I-I mean, it's pretty good, I guess…" Ruby muttered, hastily shoving the toy back into the wrapping and pushing it far away from her, as if afraid she'd fall under temptation. But her hands twitched uncontrollably, clearly itching to open the package again.

For a brief second, Aqua wondered if he should get his revenge while she was weak, especially after that stunt she just pulled, but he wisely decided against poking the hornet's nest.

So he began to rise, planning to thank the family for the gift. 'It's no good to snub him, especially since it looks like Ai wants to bring him into our lives.'

"Hmm? Aqua, don't you want my gift?" Ai's voice cut through his thoughts, playfully.

Aqua froze, not even realizing he'd already sat back down again.

Ai grinned, holding her hands behind her back and rocking back and forth. "Come on, tell Mama how much you love her-" she teased.

Ruby didn't even wait for Aqua to respond, practically shouting, "I love you the most, Mama! I swear, nobody's a bigger fan than me! I watch all your videos, every single one! I know everything about you, your outfits, your poses, your-"

"Hey, hold on a second," Aqua interjected smoothly, cutting her off. He couldn't allow this to continue.

He was the biggest fan here.

"You watch all her videos? Really? I'm the one who understands the details behind them. I'm the one who knows every single one of her outfits, and the same with every pose. It's not just about watching."

"Please, that's just amateur hour! I bet you don't even know her favorite food-"

"Ummm…" Ai tried saying something but was drowned out.

"Pineapples!"

"Gkkk! Her favorite color-"

"Red!"

"You two? Can you stop-"

"Huh, how did you-?! Her favorite drink then-"

"Milk tea!"

"H-her favorite dessert?!"

"Ice-cream!"

"Aqua, Ruby-"

"S-so powerful?! How about her favorite shampoo, movies, hobbies and season!"

"Shiseido Tsubaki, Love Letter, playing games on her phone and winter!"

Both twins stood up in front of a shocked audience circling each other like hyenas in their own world.

"You must think you're so good huh?!" Ruby snarled.

"Mad you can't find anything I don't know?!" Aqua returned snarkily but was immediately given chills when she smirked, looking ready to risk it all.

"Oh? How about you tell me Mama's favorite panty brand?"

Aqua flinched. What?! What was she talking about?!

Ruby smiled like a cat who caught a canarary.

"W-wah, wah wah?!" Came in the background from a certain idol though neither could hear it.

"So you don't know huh? Is that how deep your devotion goes?! I know it all Aqua! Her favorite bra, panties, perfume, I bet you don't even know she just bought an extra lacey pair from Victoria Sacrat! " The roughly breathing toddler completely butchered the English as she came closer staring him down while he tripped landing on his butt.

Leaning down Ruby gripped the baffled doctor, who had no wish to hear any of this by his collar and hauled him up.

Aqua was petrified by the chaos behind her eyes. What was this beast he had unleashed?!

"Her chest size, hips and waists, I know them all! Do you, heathen?!"

Aqua stared.

"Well you're about to learn! Her breast size is-Mphh?!" The girl was immediately silenced by an embarrassed, red faced idol's hands saving Aqua an equally embarrassing death as she periodically glanced across the room.

Even the most shameless idol had limits apparently.

"You two…how about I just give it to you? Will that make you stop? Here." The woman weakly conceded to her crazy children sending down a single small package to both who were now kneeling with their hands out.

Catching it at the same time, both Ruby and Aqua were immediately shocked by the lightness of it. It only felt as heavy as the paper it was in!

And yet their faith never wavered as they both glanced at each other seriously calling a temporary truce.

Ai buzzed in the background as Aqua took the package, opening it between them slowly and reverently.

Soon enough a small card shone in between his fingers while both twins looked confused.

A SD card?

"Mama?" Ruby asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ai clapped her hands with a smile. "Well, you two always seem so absorbed into my performances, so I decided to ask Saito-san if he could help me compile all the stuff that never made the cut!"

Ruby's breath hitched, her suddenly bloodshot eyes glued to the SD card, and Aqua's hand buckled slightly under the weight of the newfound treasure. His vision started to blur and he could feel Ruby swaying beside him.

"A-All?" Aqua stammered, his voice shaking as he tried to wrap his mind around it. She couldn't really mean-

Ai nodded casually. "As much as I could find, yeah. Outtakes, rehearsals, some performances. I've been searching for a long time, and I don't think there's much I missed. There's at least days worth of footage-"

Thump

Thump

In a synchronized collapse, both Ruby and Aqua fainted, the SD card slipping from Aqua's hand as they hit the cushioned floor with soft thuds.

Ai blinked then let out a small laugh. "Maybe I should've prepared you two a bit better."

"They're pretty funny dad." Boruto commented eating popcorn casually as they watched the two twins steadily come back to the waking world.

Naruto shook his head with a chuckle. Indeed he should have expected her family to be the same level as eccentric as her. To think they'd pass out about something like that was truly comical.

"They are aren't they? What do you think about seeing them more often?"

Boruto paused in eating his previously sealed away popcorn.

"Cool! Do you think they can come to the dojo?!"

"If they're willing." Naruto nodded, his eyes trailing over Ai's form in thought. She had not met his gaze again after that little… informative bit from her daughter.

But that changed when said daughter began making her way over to him, a evil glint in her eye.

'Hmm?' Naruto tilted his head, wondering what was going on. He watched as Ruby's family followed her, all looking confused as they tried to figure out what she was up to.

Ruby stopped right in front of him, her hands on her hips, eyes narrowed with determination.

"...Hello-?"

"Where's our present?" she cut him off, her voice blunt and demanding.

The room fell silent, the expressions of everyone in the house froze.

"Ah, Ruby, did you forget they already gave-" Ai started to explain, trying to reason with her daughter, but Ruby wasn't having it.

"No, mama! It was their presents!" Ruby pointed sharply at Himawari and Boruto, who both looked taken aback, exchanging confused glances. Miyako, Aqua, and Ichigo all shared the same dawning realization.

Ruby's finger then shifted, pointing directly at Naruto's baffled face.

"He still hasn't given any!" she declared with finality.

Naruto blinked, completely caught off guard.

'This little girl really has it out for me, huh?' he thought, trying not to laugh. The whole room seemed to hang in the awkward silence, everyone watching Naruto in either curiosity or slight accusation.

Ai sighed softly, getting his attention as they both finally caught each other's eyes again. Sharing a brief look of amusement, the late teen looked away first as Naruto snorted at the embarrassed blush before looking back down at her daughter who seemed even angrier now.

'Now how do I deal with this little spitfire?'

...