Out of all Baldur's Gate 3 characters Astarion is the most pitiful. I like him, don't get that twisted, he's a good character with an interesting arc - if you don't ruin it by Ascending him - but bro lives like a dog.
Also apologies for this taking so long. Aside from rewriting it twice, I've just been stuck in my fun little pit of perpetual torment.
This is rewrite four, goodness gravy what a nightmare
Camp (Midnight)
Zach's green eyes opened, sleep was more a recreational activity than a necessity. Sure, some rest was needed but to function he didn't need much.
So he decided to do what he did best and fucked around, with the intent of finding out.
The Prism, he could 'hear' quite easily. It simply resonated softly in Shadowhearts pack. The magic untampered with and solid.
Without the Emperor to direct it, there was no pulse protecting the party, they were currently vulnerable.
Unacceptable.
He 'floated' his essence towards the prism and slipped inside.
Astral Plane
It was a gateway? Or a pocket dimension.
He looked down to see his burning, blazing self. As it was when he usually came to this realm, interesting.
"So either it's the same kind of Astral Plane or the specific plane doesn't matter, and it's just a rule for every astral plane."
Words turned into colours when he spoke aloud, the twisting, shifting magic of the plane seemed to be trying to interpret him.
A giant, floating skull covered in a honeycomb of magical seals and protections floated like a looming monster, surrounded by crag rocks and debris.
With a thought, he was before them. Space meant little when one was a soul projection. A burning hand rose to gently touch the protections.
And passed right through.
"Oh very cool." Blue and purple blossomed around his words, had he a face he would be smiling.
Striding into the skull he saw Orpheus, suspended in his chains, head rolled back. Two brilliant red pillars of crystal held his shackles.
"Prince Orpheus~." He sang out, gilded gold and silver flowed around him as he appeared before the prince.
The Githyanki Prince didn't stir, Zach idly considered that the man may be asleep.
So he poked the man in the chest, "Wake up!"
With a shout of surprise the Githyanki sprung to life, gasping as though he were just drowning, he moved to touch his head but remained bound.
"Oh good you're awake, hello! My name is Zach, I'm sorry to have rudely-"
"How have you slipped within this chamber, creature?" Demanded the Prince, eyes narrow but alert.
"I walked in, if you must know." Zach crossed his spectral arms, "To help you, but if you're gonna be a dick about it I can just leave."
"To so easily breach the protections? On who's word do you walk?" Orpheus asked instead.
"My own." Answered the burning figure, "Now, I have a deal for you. No-Not the internal kind." He raised a hand to stop any more interruptions.
This was a courtesy, but Orpheus spoke anyway, "A likely story, tell your masters I need no aid from The Hells."
"Sure, anyway. There's a group of people, one of which is carrying your prism. You need to shield these people with your protections because each of them had an Illithid tadpole in-"
"I will not aid Ghaik! Or those doomed to become them!" He roared.
"You don't have an option fuck head!" Snapped the figure, rapidly increasing in size and altering shape.
A dragon made of blue fire towered over Orpheus.
"Those people are the only thing standing between us and the Grand Design! A Netherbrain, Orpheus!" His voice crashed like lightning, each syllable accompanied by thunderous bellows.
"They need you, and we need them! All you need to do is help them, and I will get you free! I know where the hammer is, I just need to get to Baldur's Gate to get to it!" Gith responded to ferocity, dealing with Lae'zel required a firm hand and Zach made a leap that it was a cultural thing, not just a tsundere frog lady thing.
"Freedom, for you. Your people, and everyone else." The dragon thundered, though to Orpheus' eye it looked like it took considerable restraint.
The Prince was quiet, Zach didn't really like that but at least it appeared the man was digesting his words instead of dismissing them outright.
As the soul finished lecturing itself, Orpheus spoke, "Swear to me, here and now we make a covenant. Your ferocity speaks of sincerity."
With as much grace as one could muster, the Prince of the Comet - despite being bound in hellish chains - extended his offer.
"For now, I will agree to shield your allies from the Illithid hivemind, in return you will free me as soon as you are able. Anything further will be determined."
Zach glowed with shades of radiant azure and streaming silver, "Wonderful, we're gonna do amazing things."
The Prince merely nodded, and without even a twitch Zach saw the minutiae of the magic at play. Calling it magic wasn't entirely accurate as it was an oversimplification.
Something about Orpheus, and no doubt Mother Gith as well, emitted a frequency of some kind. And when tuned correctly it completely disrupted psionic frequencies.
It was subtle, almost imperceivable unless you knew when to look.
Zach felt the frequency in his bones, it hummed right through him, a fascinating thing to behold. One he would put some effort into replicating.
He had no desire to kill and study Orpheus, but Zach wasn't above poaching tricks, especially useful ones.
"You may leave now, Dragon. Know that I will be watching, and waiting." Zach wasted no time and with a quick flourish his essence shot back into his body.
It only distantly occurred to Zach that there probably should have been guards watching over the prince, 'Or did they appear afterwards? In response to the Emperor trying to break the enchantment? Oh wow I really play with fire.'
He listened, the subtle shifting of restless sleep. The command hadn't been given just yet, but with the worms effectively pacified the whole party suddenly all stopped tossing and turning in their sleep.
He breathed out, and a gentle chill filled the air. Just enough to appreciate the coziness of being underneath a blanket.
Next on his agenda of the evening was making Astarion's sleeping quarters substantially less depressing.
The Pale Elf had wandered off into the night, 'patrolling' he'd called it. Everyone else seemed to take it at face value.
'Maybe it's not as obvious to them? Can't imagine why, dude with white hair, red eyes and very visible bite marks on his neck shows up, I don't know what else I'd call that.' Zach thought as he opened Astarion's tent with a flick of his wrist.
A simple, ratty looking cot with a threadbare, equally ratty wisp of a blanket draped over it.
'The blanket, that has to be sentimental right? Like surely he's not that deep in the hole that he thinks this is okay. It has to be something he's had so long he doesn't notice it's fucked.' The thoughts came as his hands moved.
A gentle infusion of his mana, making the material more pliable and receptive to his magic. He placed a spool of thread next to the blanket on the cot, and carved a rune of restoration into the air before guiding it down onto the blanket.
The rune worked in conjunction with the material sacrifice to effectively turn time back on the blanket.
'Oh thank god.' Zach allowed a sigh of relief to leave him as the blanket became effervescently gorgeous.
It was a masterwork of dark black silk with blood red roses and thorns embroidered onto the face, it was noticeably more plush and thick than first appeared.
It looked like an actual blanket again.
Gently, Zach picked up the blanket and draped it over his left forearm, careful to handle it with care.
The cot itself was a ramshackle piece of garbage that frankly he was insulted by the sight of, 'Nah, no homie of mine is livin' like this.'
He scanned it with his Index to get a simple frame schematic and destroyed it in the same breath.
His inventory was flush with random shit he could build with, he had plenty of wood left over from his abandoned Gunwand project.
Rivelom comes to the rescue once more as before he eyes a cot frame of tawny oak popped into existence, followed quickly by a thick strip of wyvern hide as the support.
Pulling a pillow out of his inventory he tossed it at the end of the cot and draped the blanket back over.
Nodding to himself he turned into mist and sat on a log, and looked to his Sacred Gear.
The pseudo-soul was progressing along, soon it would probably be conscious. It would be interesting to see what came out of the final result.
On that thought he pulled out his zanpakuto and laid it across his lap.
"Let's get to know each other." He murmured as he felt the sword pull on his mana, but only a part of it.
Like it was filtering it out and fishing specifically for the spiritual aspect.
"I've neglected you, and I'm sorry for that. It won't happen again." He promised as and for the first time in a long time, dismissed his Frostfury.
It resisted his first attempt, woven and sunk into him as it was, but it came loose after the second, and disappeared into his soul.
"Just you and I, it's a beautiful night." Zach looked up at the moon, brighter than any he'd seen, and felt the warmth hidden in the night sky.
He'd done something nice for Astarion, twice technically actually. Next on his agenda was Karlach.
Her heart was a problem, the engine was keeping her going but also was a bomb on the current plane they inhabited.
She could obviously open her chest, otherwise Dammons upgrades would need to be surgically attached, which meant actually getting at the heart wasn't too hard.
The solution was either getting her either a normal heart, or a safer replacement. Though he doubted everyone would be cool with him ripping the heart out of some rando.
Someone in the party did have a wacky artefact in their chest but the Orb of Karsus wasn't a heart substitute, it was a battery.
Weird that it seemed to be using Gale to charge itself but maybe that's the distinction of it being in him rather than being wielded.
Mystra, the vile bitch, would probably throw a fucking tantrum if something happened to it that wasn't exploding but Zach was banking on the fact that Ao the Overgod would deter direct involvement.
Besides, everyone should be happy that it's removed from the board.
Into his tower, where he can fuck around with it.
Gale had a scroll of true resurrection…
Hmmm.
If Karlach died, they ripped the engine up out, and hit her with the spell, would that do it?
Most assuredly.
Could he convince everyone that it was a good idea?
Probably not.
He wasn't even sure he wanted to try and convince himself it was a good endeavour, there was thinking about something and actually doing it. He'd keep it as a bullet in his chamber of ideas, if she fell in battle, no one would complain about him doing anything to bring her back.
He'd promised his sword his attention, so decided to push away the worries of tomorrow.
Magic and Light slowly began to glimmer across his skin as he stopped breathing entirely and seemingly became inert.
A cascade of colours interwove themselves across him like a cocoon, the world stopped existing all that there was was the sword.
His Magic, a raging tempest in his chest, his Light a spectrum of harmonious, universal aspects.
And as he uncoiled himself before the sword, he found another thing, buried beneath his Light.
The air around him began to chill, magic was not at play. This was not a cold of arcane origin, it was the absence of motion, the complete seizure of action.
Stasis.
Black Ice began to viscously rend itself from his still form, wrapping him in trails of crystals; the cocoon was an unintentional moment of genius.
It acted as a buffer, severely reducing the effects the sudden onset of Stasis had on the others.
Zach felt himself falling.
Like that sudden jolt just before you fall asleep, but it never stopped. It was like drowning but worse, as he couldn't even muster the ability to scream against it all.
And then it was nothing.
His body felt heavy, and his spirit slackened. The conceptual weight of Stasis was unlike his normal ice.
First impression was to struggle, but he knew through that path lay ruination. You cannot simply move through something like Stasis, you either controlled it or you died.
The complete cessation of sensation came like the gnawing numbness of the cold but still he remained resolute.
Ice was merely how it presented itself Stasis was more than the simple linearity of 'freeze'.
Suddenly, he felt a pull. Not from the Ice covering his body, not anything internal.
The sword on his lap, one he'd used quite frequently whilst bathing in the Light, one he'd killed several impossible creatures with.
There was a moment of realisation that settled in him just before the pulling sensation began in earnest.
He'd not ignored his sword at all, a piece of him had just decided he wasn't doing enough, wasn't good enough, for some arbitrary reason.
"Come to me…" beaconed a voice before the numb sensation disappeared entirely.
Within
Zach opened his eyes, the weight of everything suddenly shed entirely and stood up.
He was in a garden, an eerily familiar garden actually.
He looked down and saw a path, made of random pieces of stone on a bed of gravel and sand, a path he'd walked across hundreds if not thousands of times.
The expected heat of a hot day was absent, but the ridiculously potent winds spared overhead, rustling trees.
Silky Oak, and several others, he recognised each but only remembered the name of one.
He turned and saw his old house, but there was a distinctly fuzzy edge to it, like the memory was losing its clarity.
"It is good that you have come." said a voice, raspy, like it was unused.
Zach turned, saw nothing, and kept spinning on the spot until he did a full rotation and yelped in shock at the sudden appearance of the owner.
He was startled, it was not often something could sneak up on him anymore.
"What the fuck am I looking at?" He asked, but it was not Zach that spoke but a reflection.
Or a memory.
It was him, but before. Before everything in his new life, a scrawnier version of himself. Looked like he'd gotten out of bed not long ago.
A half shaved head, a mess of dark blond curls and stray strands of silver, dark green eyes slightly glazed from waking.
A green shirt, and tracksuit pants rolled up to his shins wearing sandals.
"Not what I expected." Zach admitted, looking at his past self with some trepidation.
"Am I dreaming?" His counterpart said, rubbing an eye with the heel of his hand.
"I don't think you're supposed to be here." The dragon said to the human with a confused frown.
"This is my house, you shouldn't be here." The reflection barked back, "I'm gonna be so fucking mad when I wake up."
"I don't think you're going to wake up, or that you're asleep."
The Other looked the dragon in the eye, the blond's eyes remained glassy and unfocused.
Zach looked at his past-tense doppelganger, the two of them staring for a few moments before the Other blinked and suddenly had clarity.
"You look like me." He noted and stood up straight eyes glancing to the ground under Zach's boots and back up, "Are you taller than me?"
"Just a little." Zach admitted, daring a few steps forward.
"What's going on right now?" It was phrased like a question, but it was closer to a demand.
"I don't remember being this confrontational." Zach commented, the closer he got the more silver in his hair he saw, the slight crows feet at the edges of the Other's eyes.
"I don't remember being this fucking averse to answering a goddamn question." The Copy snapped with vigor, Zach noticed the edges of the man before him began to bleed away like he was being covered in some haze.
A red haze.
A very familiar red haze.
"Nightmare." The Dragon matched the snarl of his doppelganger with one of his own, "You're the dream, a shitty little reflection of my past."
"Bold of you to assume you know anything about me." The Copy said, "What, wanted to cuddle with your sword and meet something deep within? Congratulations, It's me. Self Loathing."
"I'd have expected you to be bigger." Zach admitted with a shrug, "Or visually heavier, kind of disappointed that you're just an old version of me."
"Well you always were a disappointment." The Copy sneered, the edges growing fainter as the red haze began to pour out of him, pooling around him like a coiled snake.
"Someone has to have expectations of you, for you to disappoint them." Zach rebuked, moving forward and throwing his fist into the copy's face, the phantom was blown away like it was struck by a cyclone.
A great trench split the ground, tearing the garden apart and destroying the house behind him.
Zach's jaw clenched as his fingers twitched, a faint noise flittered to his ear. He turned but his sight was immediately filled with the vision of a fist crashing into his face.
"Cheap shot motherfucker!" Snarled the Copy, following after the blow with movement that almost looked ridiculous given his form. A barefoot slammed into the side of Zach's head and he found himself launched skyward.
The dragon spun with the motion before throwing out his arms and suddenly coming to a stop, the Copy was almost entirely shrouded in a haze of red mist a kaleidoscope of colours began to pour out of its core.
"If I'm your nightmare, what does that say about you?" It brayed like a beast, crouching before leaping up after Zach like a comet.
A fist came rocketing at his face, Zach leant with the blow and knocked it aside with his forearm, before crushing the Copy's torso with a knee strike, "That mediocrity is horrifying." The dragon said callously.
"I've always wanted to beat the shit out of myself." Grabbing the doppelganger by the back of his neck Zach dug his claws into the weak flesh, talons piercing like knives through paper.
A sort of primal pleasure burned in his chest, the source of all his problems in his grasp, unable to squirm away.
The Copy threw their head back and Zach's eyes widened as before him now, in his grasp and bleeding heavily was Astolfo.
His lips pulled back into a snarl, almost splitting his face as a rage he'd never known burned in his chest, "You fucker. You think changing your shape will save you!"
He threw the shapeshifter up but didn't let them get far as his hand clenched around their ankle and he threw them into the rapidly deteriorating ground beneath them.
It cratered the ground and released a pitiful noise before both of Zach's heels landed on its torso, a spray of viscera and blood coated the dragon.
His fist crushed its cheek, malforming its shape further, "How dare you! Do you think I'd let you live after you showed me his face again! To use it against me!"
The creature beneath him gurgled something indistinct as its form rippled again, becoming akin to a mannequin.
Zach huffed like a furious beast, his breath coming out in heady clouds. His jaw clenched painfully as he stared down at the battered puppet.
"Not him. Never him." He wrenched out, the Nightmare of Nezarec was a cruel thing indeed.
"Forgive me, Master. I had no idea what shape my power would take." Another voice came from behind him.
Zach spun around, talons ready to rip and tear. Distantly he noticed the garden around him was dissolving.
It appeared to be some kind of almost-eliksni, four hands clasped together in supplication.
The head was one solid piece of chitinous armour like a Hive Knights hide with eight eyeholes, each with shifting colours burning beneath.
A serpentine body carried it, dusky grey scales that appeared rough like tree bark.
"You have seconds to explain yourself." Zach hissed, already advancing on the creature as he spoke.
"I am able to project things, Master. From your mind or elsewhere, this is my power. Carried on the winds of the Nightmare and channeled through you." It explained, without haste nor worry even as the Very Angry Dragon got into melee range.
"I wished to show you my capabilities immediately upon our meeting, but the Nightmare is not so easily wielded."
"So far you've shown me you can make me incredibly upset." The tone and the undercurrent of hostility made such simple words sound like a dreadful understatement.
"For this I apologise, Master. But you must know exactly what it is I can do before you use me." The Sword Spirit remained calm, collected and composed.
A sharp juxtaposition from his wielder-to-be.
"Your anger is understandable. I swear to never use His face again."
Teeth audibly grinded, like blades sharpening each other in Zach's mouth.
"The Nightmare is like a monkey's paw. What you create will inevitably turn out for the worse." It leant back slightly, tail curling beneath it as it sat upon the extremity.
"I am a weapon of destruction, whether that be leveling a building or breaking a mind. Never forget that so long as I lay in your hands."
"Why do you even have access to any of that garbage?" Zach asked instead of biting its head off, despite how much he wanted to kill another part of himself in that moment just to never have to deal with it.
The creature's many 'eyes' fixed on Zach and it hummed, "Consuming the power of a being as potent as Nezarec is not something to be done without consequence, Master."
The garden had fallen away entirely, and the two of them stood upon an endless, shallow lake with a full moon hanging above their heads providing light.
"I should have never gone to that fucking galaxy." Zach paced back and forth, his whole body sparking with restless energy.
"Regret will not change the past, Master. You made foolish choices, and paid the price for it. All you can do is learn from them, and move forward."
Zach didn't hear judgement in the chimes voice, just fact. And he couldn't argue with the creature.
"I should have left Eris alone." His pacing stalled as he stared off into the dark, face grim.
"The Being Above should not have abandoned you. Yet here we are."
Zach didn't move, didn't feel the need to, "I suppose you are part of me then."
"I am part of you, a different piece. But I'm sure you know as well as I, that the Overseer's eye no longer follows you."
It shifted, the sound of rough scales on chitin, "Perhaps you always had the capacity to stride the Planes, perhaps you didn't. But now you hold your own fate in your hands, and you feel stricken by choice."
Zach snorted, "Of course I do. Look at me, I'm sitting here talking to myself instead of just moving forward."
"Oh, experienced with healthy coping mechanisms are we?" Finally the Chimera's tone shifted sounding amused.
"I'm not leaving." Zach said, finally looking over his shoulder, "I'm seeing this through."
"I didn't expect you to leave. What of afterwards?"
"Somewhere with less gods for one." He thought, "Maybe I'll go back to the doomed universe and just start stripping it for parts."
"Not going to try and save anyone else?"
Zach snorted, his fury burnt to embers. He just felt tired, "No Nezarec means no Nightmares. A lot of problems died with him."
"Makes one curious as to how it could be called a Bad End. With only one person's death." The Chimera pointed out.
"What's your name?" Zach asked, deciding he just wanted to sleep, he had to ice to chip off.
"Morpheus." The Chimera informed easily.
"Fitting." Zach commented, turning to finally look at the creature fully.
"I'm impressed, you didn't even struggle to hear me."
"Lucky me." The Dragon commented, "I'm leaving."
"I look forward to working together." Morpheus intoned with a bow of the head.
"Goodnight." Zach said instead of anything else, disappearing from the desolate place.
Morpheus gazed up at his moon, it bled black ichor into the waters below him.
He was pleased that his Master had not decided to destroy him. It was a close thing he felt their tenuous connection splitting rapidly the second the projection had taken on the face of the Frenchman.
The Chimera was not displeased with the results. Morpheus felt it best his wielder knew what to expect.
But it was a startling thing. Coming into conscious existence only to almost immediately have that threatened by the very one whom you spawned from.
How cycles repeat, he supposed.
Wilderness: Daytime
The group had picked up camp and moved quickly the next day. Breakfast was had and Zach heard idly mumbling about how rested everyone felt, but how cold it had gotten last night.
Orpheus was keeping his end of the bargain, which was good.
He could do little about the cold, Stasis was entropy. Slowing down particles in the air to a complete stop, with no movement there was no friction, with no friction there was no heat.
The ice had come off easily enough he supposed, it felt secondary to the deeply unsettling meeting with his sword.
'I yearn. I've never done much yearning, but I'd give a lot to see them again.' His boots kept to the ground, but his mind was elsewhere.
"You seem to be lost in thought, my friend." Wyll's voice pulled Zach from his internal noise.
Zach considered answering automatically, sincerely. But paused as his mouth opened, and thought better of it.
"It has been a… trying. Few days. Before all of this." He said instead, Zach recognised the swamp they were approaching. Though he assumed no one else saw it as such.
The Black Mana in the Hag's grotto leaked into the land like a greedy beast gorging itself.
"Well, if experience has taught me anything. Woes shared are woes lessened." Wyll suggested gently.
Zach almost grinned, the poor man couldn't even speak of his own woes but was willing to take some from a new face all the same.
Blade of the Frontiers indeed.
"I made a reckless decision." Zach began and already he saw a change in Wyll's body language. The slight softening around his eyes and the slight turn towards him.
"I lost three people I cared for. A man I loved with the fervour of an exploding star. A dear friend who I promised so much to, and a woman who I respected and admired."
Zach stared at the swamp before them, already he could hear the arguing of the brothers and the hag.
The others were listening, he had no doubt. The group was too close together for them not to hear him and Wyll speaking.
"Loss is a harsh blade to take. The sorrow that comes after can be a bitter poison." Despite its poetry, Wyll's statement was one Zach resonated with.
"Loss and Sorrow. Loss and sorrow, hmm. Isn't there some goddess around here that gets off on that?"
Wyll almost tripped over himself, There was a sudden clank of whirling metal as Shadowheart turned on her heel and stared directly at Zach.
Time to play dumb.
"Yes, sugar?" Add a little southern drawl and it's foolproof.
He meaningfully glanced at her circlet, the black moon held in silver resting on her forehead.
Then ignored it, with all the stealth he cared to muster (none).
"Spar or Scar? Something like that. Met a cleric that worships some moon chick, the moon is much cooler."
Wyll righted himself and gave a short, startled laugh, "Do you mean Shar and Selune?"
Zach shrugged, sufficiently reinvigorated by poking the half-elf, "That sounds right. I've not met any Shar enjoyers but, Ceris was an absolute knockout. I'd be team moon all the way."
The Warlock grinned, "Beauty beheld showing a man a path to the gods? Seems like a storybook."
"-tellin' ya lads, I haven't seen your sister. Hand on heart!" A hag had interrupted them, though Zach could say with relative confidence Ethel was in disguise.
"Don't play with us Hag, where's Mayrina?!" The more orange haired of the brothers demanded, a pitchfork in hand.
"What's all this then?" Zach heard Karlach ask herself, he was debating what the best move was.
In game it was pretty much whatever mood he was in. There was a specific sequence of dialogue that got the two men to live but he never remembered it.
Considering how magic and horrific monsters are pretty commonplace, it was baffling that Mayrina even got into this situation to begin with.
Sure Ethel is supposed to be pretty convincing, what with her stash of victims in her basement-
His mind screeched to a halt, maybe it was a similar blindness to Astarion's vampirism.
Well meaning old lady who lives next to a suspiciously picturesque river? In the middle of the wilderness? Surely a simple woman, definitely nothing suspicious about that.
"We just want our sister back, please!" Pled the other brother.
"Lads, I've told you once I've told you a million times. I've ne'er even clapped eyes on your sister!"
Zach glanced at the group and saw varying reactions of discomfort or discernment.
"So this woman is definitely a hag who eats kids right?" Zach asked Wyll, loudly.
The Warlock looked shocked and confused, so Zach continued pretending to be oblivious, "There's a glamour in the air and this large green woman here is covered in warts with a comically hooked nose."
Wyll looked bewylldered, looking back and forth between Ethel and his companion.
Wyll looked around, the others quickly following the action. His eyes narrowed as he tried to concentrate.
"You were supposed to leap to my defence, pet! Not accuse me of such tripe." Sneered Ethel, her hand moved up to cast something.
A sizzling noise hissed out from next to Wyll as he immediately turned to see the spot Zach was standing burning with strands of pale blue static.
Ethel felt the hand around her wrist before she saw anything, which in and of itself was odd considering nothing happened in her domain without her knowledge.
The Hag felt blistering pain on the snared limb as clawed fingers dug into her skin.
"Hag's are pretty hardy, right? I've been looking for a new punching bag." The voice startled her as much as the sudden seizure of her wrist.
"These men are looking for their sister, Hag." Zach leant forward, pulling Ethel closer as his presence pressed against her.
The magic that hid her began to bubble and shimmer, slowly peeling away to reveal her.
Taller than any of them, with swamp green skin, long wicked talons and a hooked nose. Ethel's hide was covered in small mushrooms and flowers, twigs and feathers randomly placed across her shoulders.
The Hag hissed and bared her teeth, "Think you can come into my home and cause a fuss do you, whelp?"
The sound of weapons being drawn free and the brothers stumbling backward a few paces filled the air.
"What poison did you feed the girl, hmm? As far as predators go, you Hag's are pathetic little schemers." A wide, razor sharp, toothy grin met Ethel.
Faintly, clue scales began to press up against the skin around Zach's mouth, as though rising up from under his flesh.
"I've an idea, Little Hag." Zach offered suddenly, leaning back but making no move to release her.
"As do I, Whelp. I'll cut you open and eat yer guts. Your hide should make a fine coat." Ethel tried to reclaim her arm but no amount of strength she had could even move the beast's arm.
"I've not played a good game of Magic in a while. I'll wager myself and my hoard, for your victims, and this swamp." He offered a broad grin, and his deal.
Ethel stared at the creature like it was stupid, and it surely must be to think it could best her. Dragons were brutes to her eyes.
"You'll regret this dearie."
"It's a duel then, glorious."
Ethel felt something strange occur, as her arm was finally released she made to disappear and retreat to her lair but the magic refused to answer her.
A weight found itself in her hand, a tome. Strikingly similar to several she owned yet all were within her teahouse.
"What manner of shite is this?" She sneered, still retreating back.
"Oh we're going to duel. You've already got your deck so that's good." The Dragon answered with a smaller, more menacing smile.
"Don't worry, you already know how to play. I'm sure it'll be like riding a bike." He assured, and produced a gold coin.
Flicking it into the hands of the brother in the doublet who caught it with a yelp, "Be a good sport and flip that for us, yes?"
Too lost, too confused and more than a little spooked, the man nodded rapidly.
"Good man. Ethel, heads or tails?" Zach asked the Hag, moving to stand away from the group, a thin, burning ring of Red, Green, Blue, White and Black magic snared both of them.
"Tails." Ethel snapped, not at all pleased the creature was in charge of the situation, nor that it seemingly knew her name.
Zach nodded at the brother who flipped the coin and a chime sounded as he caught it and placed it on the back of his hand.
"H-heads." The man announced with a stammer.
"Verily. I'll go first." Zach said with a smile, lifting his left hand and summoning his Frostfury, which in turn summoned his spellbook.
Both his and Ethel's books rose up and the pages fluttered, pulling themselves from the books and reinserting themselves randomly.
Seven pages ripped themselves out as beneath both of their feet 20 burnt into the ground.
"What in the bloody Hells is going on!" Astarion finally shouted, refusing to be silent anymore.
"Is this how Wizards fight, Gale?" Karlach turned to the Wizard of Waterdeep, sincerely.
Gale choked on his own spit, "A-absolutely not, I've never seen anything like this before!"
"Quiet in the audience please, the players need their focus." A spectral being emerged from the ground, a heavy brown robe with long sleeves seemingly come to life.
"'Ello, here to watch too?" Karlach dug her axe into the ground and leant on the pommel.
"I am the Judge." The being informed with a nod of acknowledgement.
Zach considered his opening hand, he'd used the deck hundreds of not thousands of times online, tweaking and changing but still roughly the same.
'This is gonna be a quick one.' He almost lamented, but it was probably for the best. Unlike Arena he couldn't just pop into another game if it didn't go well.
"I'll play a Swamp, and tap that Black Mana for Dark Ritual. Turning 1 Black into 3, I'll use that floating mana to play the Ozolith and Jet Medallion."
Several things occurred in succession, beneath Zach's feet black mud spilled out, twisted black Mangroves rapidly rising through the mud as trenches began to flow with dark purple liquid.
As he tapped the Land he'd created beneath his feet, the purple liquid seemingly evaporated and a flash of black and purple magic.
A pentagram of purple fire exploded underneath Zach as three motes of magic floated around his hand, one sunk into the ground and a crystalline structure exploded up like the ground had been struck by lightning.
Finally a black medallion formed from the last two motes and floated in the air beside Zach.
"That's my turn, I pass to you."
Ethel looked at the pages before her, floating and ready to be used, and almost instinctively she began to understand.
"A mountain I'll place and summon my precious little, Weaselback Redcap."
Rock and stone burst behind Ethel, lav wrapping from crags in the stone, the lava ran cold for a moment as the Red Mana was used.
Weaselback Redcap was exactly what she'd summoned, a small goblinoid with purple skin and a bright red cloth cap on its head, a wicked looking knife in its hand.
The weasel it rode was easily the size of a large dog, and almost twice as wide with a snarl almost perpetual scrawled on its face.
"That'll be my turn." Ethel gazed covetously at his Artefacts.
'Fuck, she's playing red. There's an Abrade in my future.' Too many times has he been turn 2 Abdraded, either it could deal 3 damage to a creature or blow up an artefact.
The purple water in his swamp resumed flowing as the mana came back to life.
"I'll place a Cavern of Souls, naming Vampires. I can use the cavern to tap for any colour of mana, to summon vampires." He explained, as a yawning cave burst from underneath the ground.
Glowing crystals dotted the walls, they glimmered and shined harmoniously in different colours.
"Oh cool, RGB cave." He said with a wry smile.
"Thanks to my Jet Medallion, I'll summon Vadmir, New blood. For 1 Black Mana, tapping my Cavern."
The glow of the crystals waned as the mana was used.
"Next I'll use the spell, Cut Down. Destroying your Redcap." A spectre appeared behind the Redcap, and drew two wicked swords, carving the creature in twain.
"A crime was committed, triggering Vadmir. He gains a 1/1 counter. I pass turn."
Vadmir's claws lengthened and there was a definite swagger to his stance.
"Pest! I'll place a swamp and pay 1 to summon a Manavault! I'll then tap that and my mountain to summon Krenko, Tin Street Kingpin."
A green goblin with a spiked club donned in simple metal armour with a red, sleeveless cloak appeared.
"With the last, colourless mana I will play Aether Vial." A glowing glass vial filled with azure, misty energy popped into being beside Ethel.
"I pass turn, pet."
The water ran and the cavern glowed anew as the mana refreshed, another page flying to sit with the others before him.
"I'll play another Swamp and tap my Cavern to play Stromkirk Noble." A burst of flaming Red magic exploded from the cavern as a slim vampire in a long flowing cloak stepped forth.
"I'll move to combat, and Vadmir will attack you." The Cowboy Vampire went from a slow gait to a run in moments.
"I will take the damage." Ethel hissed as the Newblood wove past Krenko rushing her with fervour.
"Cool, I'll play the Instant, Go For The Throat targeting Krenko, killing him and committing a crime."
Vadmir
4/4
The claws slashed across Ethel leaving weeping wounds, Vadmir jumped back in one leap and landed in a crouch, Tapped and unable to block.
"You little beast! I'll have your head!" Ethel screamed.
"Well first you gotta hit me." Zach said with a grin. Removal was great.
"I pass turn." He said, keeping his last Mana opened for fuckery.
Untap, upkeep, draw.
Ethel sneered at the pages, most likely finding nothing of merit, before she could speak the Judge cut in.
"Your Mana vault triggers. Dealing one damage to you."
The vault glowed ominously as Ethel yelped, the burning numbers beneath her feet showing 15
"I will play a mountain, and hit you, you infernal pest!" A streak of lightning flashed as the red mana was tapped, striking Zach directly in the chest.
17
"And now I'll do it again!" She cackled, ozone polluted the air as another crack of lightning struck him.
14
"I pass turn." She hissed.
Untap, upkeep, draw.
Zach grinned, "I'll play another swamp, and play Patchwork Banner, naming Vampires. All Vampires I control gain an addition 1/1 so long as this is on the field, and I can tap it for any colour of mana."
A crossbeam poll burst from the ground as a patchwork tapestry unfurled and drifted peacefully against the wind.
"Next I'll use Duress, revealing your hand… That Abrade is going away." Ethel's pages flew towards him as the spell took effect forcing the Hag to her knees.
He flicked a hand at the spell and it disappeared into her graveyard.
"A crime has been committed, Vad triggers again."
Vadmir, Newblood
6/6
"I will go to combat and attack you with both of my fellas." Vad cleared the distance in a blink, slamming his claws into Ethel's stomach and ripping them out in a shower of viscera.
The Noble followed shortly after striking her with a closed fist.
Ethel Life 7
"Since my Noble did damage to you, he gains a 1/1 counter."
Stromkirk Noble
3/3
"I'm all tapped out, and you've got one turn. So make it count." He passed the turn and smiled, pleased with himself.
Untap, upkeep, draw.
Ethel ground her teeth together as the Judge flipped a coin once more and almost screamed in fury as it did not go her way.
Ethel Life 6
"Horseshite! You forced me into this deal!"
"Trying to worm out of an agreement won't help you. I know Hag's are bottom-feeders but this is kind of pathetic."
Ethel screeched, "I'll flay you and eat yer guts ye filthy fuckin' whelp!"
Zach looked at his side, Vad and the Noble adjusting their coats, flicking off invisible dust.
"You are super welcome to try." He said finally, shrugging with a grin.
Zach almost felt bad, Goblin decks were something he was intimately familiar with, they were reliable, probably, and ramped incredibly hard if they were allowed to get going.
Of course his experience was only as an opponent, he only played one archetype.
Vampires.
Because if you find something you like, why bother with anything else?
Honestly he expected Ethel to play Green-Black, given her nature as a Green Hag.
"I'll play another Swamp, and Cast Murder!" She snarled, "Your fancy boy is dead!"
Vadmir staggered like he'd been shot before landing face first into the mud and dissipating.
Murder, much like Go For the Throat, or Shoot the Sheriff, was a targeted removal spell, it did cost 3 Mana which made it a little expensive early-game.
The Ozolith captured Vad's counters and held them, three beads of light filling the crystalline structure.
He looked at Ethel then at his Noble, then at her one remaining Mountain and shrugged.
"Someone doesn't know how to do basic addition." He goaded with a chuckle, half of a game of Magic was psychological warfare.
The fact Ethel was so consumed by her annoyance was one of the reasons it was such an easy duel.
"Anything else?" The elf asked with a curious tilt of his head.
Ethel audibly ground her teeth together and waved a hand passing the turn with revulsion.
Untap, Upkeep, Draw.
"I'll move right to Combat, my Ozolith triggers allowing me to place the counters on it onto my Stromkirk Noble."
Stromkirk Noble
6/6
"Get 'er." He commanded, the Vampire swelled with strength and moved like a bullet train, parting mud and dirt in his wake.
The Noble's clawed hand pierced right through Ethel's chest, holding her still beating heart before crushing it.
The game ended, the Judge faded and the magic holding it all together began to unwind.
Ethel fell onto the dirt, mortally wounded.
"Oh silly me, I forgot to mention. It's to the death." A malicious smile grew on Zach's face as his lands began to return to his spellbook, but his Noble remained.
The Vampire approached its master and presented the crushed heart like a cat with a dead bird.
"Excellent work, you really fucked her up." Zach placed a hand on the vampire shoulder and squeezed gently, "I'm proud of you."
The Noble glowed with a brilliant shimmer of magic as it began to dissipate, the glow of the magic a distant second to the radiant smile it wore, looking up at him.
'He took the heart.' Zach was caught a little flatfooted, the cheeky bugger probably wanted a snack or something.
Ethel began to exsanguinate, the muddy ground and shallow water rapidly filling with a red hue.
Congratulations you have completed your first Duel as a Planeswalker.
Zach blinked as a window appeared in his vision, almost forgetting about his little world breaker in his head.
5 Magic
5 Mana
You have acquired the Land Spell; Witches Teahouse
Error Witches Teahouse already within Deck.
Witches Teahouse can be subsumed by Territory Creation.
Accept
Y/N
The elf shrugged, accepting the fusion without much thought.
He was suddenly hyper aware of everything in the Swamp. The Waypoint Marker, the Gir man whose name escaped him.
Mayrina, sobbing in her chair, all those kept behind the fireplace and down below.
The enormous tree stump that was surrounded by Mephits and Wood Woods, housing Kahga's dirty secret letters.
It would be overwhelming if he wasn't Him.
Zach took a breath, in and out before nodding once more.
Territory Expansion
You are able to claim places of power and draw mana from them at your leisure, your connection can only be severed or disrupted by a being of significant power, or yourself.
You are able to teleport to your claimed territory at will for a Large Mana cost.
'Very cool, I can collect a new tower later.' Zach was pleased inordinately so.
As he turned back to the group he grinned broadly, the brothers of Mayrina looked ready to shit themselves whilst the adventurers had varying looks.
Karlach clapped, loudly, "That was awesome!"
Zach puffed up slightly with pride, "Well I aim to impress, glad it worked."
Almost immediately she was next to him, poking at his Sacred Gear and book, "Never seen anything like it, how'd you do that?"
"Oh just by Gathering the Magic together." Zach answered with snicker, Karlach grinned at him not getting the joke but amused by how much it tickled him.
She slung an arm around his shoulder, luxuriating in the sensation of touch, "Next time, I'd like to axe some questions." She hefted her weapon with barely contained mirth.
The two stood laughing into one another as the Hag's body bled out and the two normal men held each other close.
"What in the Hells!?"
End
Body:32
Agility:19
Mana:29 (Fury: 78)
Magic:33 (Fury: 99)