October blended into November seamlessly, bringing with it cooler temperatures and the beginning chill of winter. Hermione had spent the last week of October preparing to go back to teaching, excitement beginning to bubble up inside of her the further into her lesson plans she got. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed Hogwarts until she was faced with going back; the only thing that gave her pause was the thought of being away from Draco throughout the week. Things felt very different now that they had a baby on the way. It was much more difficult for her to be apart from him and she quite often found herself clinging to him, dragging him into bed, and allowing her hormones run wild.
"Hermione," Draco said the day before she was to return. He was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, leaning against the frame and looking at Hermione with a sly grin on his face. Hermione turned around to look at him, admittedly a little glad to be able to take a break from planning.
"Yes?"
"You should move in with me."
Hermione's mouth dropped open. She certainly hadn't expected that. Though, now that she thought about it, officially moving in with Draco was the logical next step, even though it was slightly out of the order she had imagined their relationship going. She'd definitely not expected to fall pregnant before moving in or getting married.
"Well," she said slowly, "I suppose I see the sense in that. Would it be possible to set up a Floo connection to my classroom for ease of travel?"
"That didn't take much convincing," Draco said, his grin growing into a full smile. "A Floo setup should be easy. I can have it ready in a couple of days. It's probably safer for pregnant witches too, isn't it?"
"From my research, yes. Obviously I should still be careful and not use it too much in one day, but it's much more gentle on the body than even Apparition is, and a Portkey would be a giant pain in the ass to try and set up every day of the week."
"You've really thought about this."
"I've had to," Hermione said. "I don't want to take any chances or risks with this baby. Not after – well, I just want to know I'm doing everything right."
Draco crossed the room in a second and pulled Hermione up into his arms. He squeezed her so tight that she lost her breath for a moment.
"You're doing the best you can," he whispered into her hair. He loosened his hold on her and held her at arm's length so he could look seriously into her face. "We need to find a midwife, however. I think we should have as many prenatal appointments as possible. We'll also brew your prenatal and some extra nutritional potions here – I will get a potion lab set up sometime this week."
"I agree about the midwife, but I can brew at Hogwarts while I'm there," Hermione said, blushing slightly at Draco's suggestion and its intensity. "They have all the ingredients I'll need and you won't need to spend all that money to change an entire room just to make a few potions."
Draco's silver eyes flashed. "I'll get the room set up this week. Money is no object and I only want the best for you and our baby."
Hermione couldn't help but smile as she closed her mouth around her desire to argue. Draco's voice always filled with such emotion when he spoke about the baby. How could she deny him the opportunity to do everything he could to ensure their safety and a healthy pregnancy? She would do the same if she was in his shoes.
"Well, all right," Hermione acquiesced, "then that'll be your homework this week. I'll ask Ginny which midwife she's using and see whether she's taking clients around our due date."
Draco cradled Hermione's face in his hands and gently kissed her lips.
"That sounds like a plan to me."
Later that day, Hermione dashed off a letter to her best friend, asking for more details about her midwife and telling her about how Draco had asked her to move in with him. Hermione had been keeping in contact with Ginny more frequently now that she too was pregnant, but the guilt of knowing what had happened to Ron and that she had been a part of it continuously weighed heavily on her. It was still difficult to not say anything and she couldn't help but worry that one day Draco would come home and tell her he was actually going to Azkaban because someone from the Ministry had properly conducted the investigation they had told the Weasleys they were.
Although she began to relax as the days passed, Hermione almost felt like her blood pressure was consistently high due to the anxiety. She did her best to hide this from Draco, but had a suspicion that he knew more than he let on.
About halfway through Hermione's first week back teaching (after Draco had gotten the Floo network all set up and had begun construction on the potion lab he'd promised her) the two of them sat together on one of the couches in the Manor library, warming themselves by the fire as snow fell outside. The wind caused it to swirl in beautiful patterns that they could watch through the large windows all around the room.
"Is there something on your mind, love?" Draco asked, planting a kiss on the top of Hermione's head. "You seem more distracted than usual."
"It's still hard for me to talk to Ginny knowing what happened with Ron," Hermione admitted with a sigh. "She's been telling me the Ministry isn't doing much to try and figure out what happened and I think it's really upsetting her, even more than she lets on in her letters."
"Hmm." Draco went silent for a moment. "Maybe you should use the Pensive and relieve that thought from your mind."
"But it won't help Ginny."
"No, it won't help her," Draco said, frowning slightly. "That being said: you're my first priority. She has Potter for support, along with the rest of her family. They'll get through it."
Hermione turned her face up so she could bore her eyes into Draco's. She searched his expression for any hint that he may have been unseriously speaking about Ginny and the Weasleys, but Hermione found nothing but honesty there.
"She's my best friend, Draco," Hermione said softly.
"We have a choice, then," Draco said. "We can tell the Weasleys what happened and hope that they decide to not seek vengeance for their murdered son, or we can remain quiet and trust that the Ministry will handle it appropriately. If we choose the later, I strongly recommend you use the Pensive to help declutter and calm your mind."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
Hermione sighed heavily and felt the now-too-familiar prick of tears in her eyes. She nestled her face into Draco's chest before he could see them fall, but the way he gripped her even more tightly told her he knew exactly what was going on inside her heart.
"I'm sorry things turned out this way," Draco murmured. "I never wanted to cause you any pain."
"None of this should have happened in the first place," Hermione sobbed into him. "I shouldn't have tried to go off on my own after Ron was let out, I should have listened to you and not tried to try and get you a stupid surprise, I shouldn't have even married him in the first place…"
Draco held Hermione close and let her vent and cry until she finally fell silent and her body slowly stopped shuddering with grief and regret. When her breathing became more even and regular, he pulled her away and pulled her chin up with his hand so he could gaze at her.
"Hermione," he said slowly, evenly, "you're okay now. You're safe. Whatever happened in the past, it doesn't matter now. It's all behind you. I'm here and I love you."
"I love you, too." Hermione wiped her eyes and leaned up to kiss Draco. She paused for a moment, soaking everything in and calming her heartbeat before she spoke again. "I think I'll use that Pensive, after all."
The speed with which November passed alarmed Hermione deeply, though by the end of the month she was getting into her second trimester and finally starting to feel more like a real human being again. The first morning she woke without needing to throw up was one victory and then, when she was able to keep down a big dinner that Draco had cooked, it was another. She was even beginning to gain some of her strength back and the black spots in her brain that she'd seen on the diagnostic spell were turning to a deeper purple, almost like bruises that was beginning to heal.
She was sure her use of the Pensive had something to do with it, but didn't say her suspicion aloud in case she was wrong and everything would come rushing back even worse than before.
Hermione also received Ginny's baby shower invitation late that month; it was set for early December at the Burrow with the rest of the Weasleys and Harry. And, much to Hermione's surprise, Ginny had extended the invite to include Draco as well. The kind gesture from her friend made Hermione smile and warmed her heart. Maybe things would end up going smooth enough that Draco would be as welcome in the Weasley's lives as Hermione was.
She could hope, at least.
"What should we get for Ginny and the baby?" Hermione asked Draco after she had received the invite. She was determined to get him as involved as possible, especially since he would need to know what their own baby's requirements would be as Hermione grew more pregnant.
"Whatever you'd like, my love," Draco replied. Hermione clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes.
"Not good enough," Hermione said. She put her hands on her hips and looked at Draco, though it was hard to keep the grin off of her face as she saw the surprise on his. "I want your opinion and full participation on this. You have to be involved so you can impress the Weasleys and we can all be one big, happy family."
Draco laughed.
"All right, all right," he conceded. "Let's go to London and do some baby shopping for She-Potter."
"You shouldn't call her that," Hermione said. She turned her back on him to chuckle at Draco's nickname for Ginny and melted into his arms when he came up behind Hermione and wrapped them around her, pulling her close. "We'll have to go shopping after classes this week since the shower is this weekend. Will that be okay with whatever you have to get done for work?"
"Of course," Draco said. He kissed her neck and Hermione couldn't help but close her eyes as the now-familiar tingling warmth began to spread across her skin. "You just tell me when and where you want me and I'll be there, ready and waiting."
Hermione read just the right amount of innuendo in Draco's words and turned around to kiss him, giving herself over completely and allowing him to carry her to the bedroom they now shared to finish what Draco had started.
Shopping with Draco Malfoy in Muggle London was slightly more difficult than Hermione had realized, though of course she was up for the challenge. This baby shower was going to go perfectly or she would die trying. Having Ginny, Harry, and the Weasleys accept Draco had quickly become her top priority – and she had to admit that it felt wonderful to finally have something else to focus on and put her energy into other than obsessing over what had happened with Ron and worrying that she was going to ruin their baby.
Everything had to go perfectly.
"Hermione Granger, take a deep breath," Draco said after the two of them had been walking around London for a long while, looking into each of the shops. Nothing that Hermione had seen struck her as a proper present for Ginny and her coming baby and now Hermione began to worry not only about getting the exact right gift for her friend, but what she and Draco would need for their own impending child.
Draco grabbed Hermione by the shoulders and whirled her around.
"I said, take a deep breath," he repeated.
Hermione tried, but all she could manage was several short, shallow inhalations.
"It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to be overwhelmed. But please, let me help you."
"But you don't know anything about babies!" Hermione cried out, tears now streaming down her face.
It took everything in Draco not to chuckle at Hermione's outburst. Although he thought she might be going overboard, her feelings were real and he didn't want her to have even more of an emotional reaction when she was pregnant and pumped full of extra hormones. Instead of laughing, he hugged her close and kissed her forehead.
"I've read every book you've given me, though admittedly that Muggle one was rather strange," Draco said, now holding Hermione at arm's length so they could be face-to-face. "I'll never understand how Muggles get on without magic."
"Humans have been giving birth since the beginning of time," Hermione said, sniffling and wiping her eyes. "Our bodies were built to do it. Nowadays, though, we are quite lucky to have medical advancements to help if things do go wrong."
Draco searched Hermione's brown eyes for a moment.
"Are you still set on giving birth at home?"
"Yes. I trust Lauren as our midwife. She said we're low-risk and good candidates – and don't forget that she does have contingency plans in place, just as a safety precaution. I think things will be just fine."
"All right," Draco said slowly. "I support whatever you want. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me nervous, though. Should we perhaps have some spare healers around, just in case?"
"No, Draco," Hermione said sternly. "Lauren will have everything we need. She's been doing this for over twenty years. She has plenty of experience."
"Okay, okay." Draco kissed Hermione softly. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Now we really have to get this shopping done or we'll end up empty-handed and all hope of them accepting you and our happy ever after will be ruined."
At this pronouncement, Draco did laugh, but was encouraged by the smile on Hermione's face. Together, they set back off on their baby-shower-gift hunt.
Eventually the couple decided on a mat for the baby to practice tummy time on and a swing that usually ran on batteries but Hermione charmed to have an eternal charge. Hermione also decided on a far-too-expensive bottle of wine and a postpartum bath mixture for Ginny.
With the gifts purchased, Hermione was feeling much better and also quite in the mood for a warm bath. Walking around, even though she was only around 3 months pregnant, tired her out quickly and made her hips and legs feel sore.
Topsy had warm water waiting for her when Hermione finally made her way into the bathroom. Hermione sighed happily as she stepped into the claw-footed tub, sinking slowly into its heat and feeling her muscles relax in response. As she calmed herself and settled in to relax, it hit her just how tense she had been before using the Pensive. She still felt a some guilt about everything that had happened, having an external place to put her memories and troubles was even more effective than Occlumency ever had been.
If only she'd had a Pensive during the war.
Hermione's eyes opened and she took a deep breath, resigning herself to get out of the quickly-cooling bath and get dressed and ready for bed. Although she and Draco had been able to set up a Floo connection to the Weasleys' for Ginny's baby shower, she still wanted to rest as much as she could before then. Until she could feel her baby move inside her and went in for her next checkup to hear its heart, Hermione was still filled with worry and paranoia and took every single extra precaution she could in order to ensure this would be a healthy baby.
Becoming pregnant after such a loss had been hard on her, but she continued to look forward to her and Draco's milestones. She fell asleep with a small smile on her face, dreaming of the day she held their fat, happy baby in her arms.
"Do I look all right?" Hermione asked Draco for the seventh time, pulling at the hem of the maroon dress she wore and rubbing the very slight bump that had started appearing between her hips.
"You look delectable," Draco said. He wore a button-down and black pants, though his face was currently buried in Hermione's curls while his lips caressed the soft skin of her neck. Hermione felt her body respond to his touch and tried to pull away.
"We can't get started now," she protested quietly, "or we'll end up being late."
"This is worth being late for," Draco said in a low voice. His fingers bit into Hermione's hips as he drew her in to kiss her and for a moment, Hermione found herself thinking that maybe Draco had a point -
"No, no, we have to go so you make a great impression and become part of the family!"
Draco pulled back, laughing. "This will have to wait until later, then."
Hermione blushed and busied herself with putting the final touches on the baby and Ginny's gifts.
Now that Hermione was in her second trimester, she was able to handle travel much more easily, yet there was always a rough spell of nausea right after she arrived at her destination that she had to fight through. The last thing she wanted to do was throw up all over herself and Draco and have to go back to the Manor and change.
"Are you ready?" she asked when she won the battle against her stomach. "Still got the gifts?"
"Of course," Draco said as he held up the purse Hermione had used during the war. It still came in handy to transport any and everything she may want. "Everything is in here, ready to go. Let's go make a great impression."
Hermione rolled her eyes slightly, linked her fingers through Draco's, and they walked across the lawn toward the lopsided structure that Hermione had spent so much time in before her divorce.
Seeing the Burrow again struck Hermione right in the heart and tears pricked at her eyes. She blinked furiously, trying to banish them and only allowing a couple to slip through and trickle down her cheek before wiping them away. Draco gave her hand a light squeeze and she leaned against him for support as she took deep breaths to calm herself down and prepare herself for seeing Ginny and the Weasleys.
"Hermione!" A chorus of voices chimed as soon as she walked through the door with Draco in tow. Hermione smiled, surprised to be welcomed so warmly. Mrs. Weasley was the first to pull her into a hug, followed closely by Mr. Weasley; then Percy, George, and Bill; followed by Charlie shaking her hand and showing her into the living room, where Ginny and Harry sat together upon the dilapitated sofa, surrounded by gifts and trays of cakes and snacks that Mrs. Weasley had made. It was a warm, homey, and loving atmosphere that made Hermione beam as she was pulled deeper into to it. Even Draco received a hug from Mrs. Weasley and handshakes from all the boys.
"Hermione, you made it!" Ginny said. She looked like she would be ready to go into labor at any time and had to have Harry help her off the couch so she could get up and hug her friend. "I'm so happy to see you. And you too, Malfoy." She offered him a smile before sitting back down on the sofa next to Harry, who placed one of his hands on her belly and kissed her cheek.
There was no warmth lost in this house, despite the cold and snow outside.
.
The baby shower went even better than Hermione could have imagined. Although Ron's absence was glaringly obvious, every one of the Weasleys put their focus on Ginny, Harry, and the baby. They announced the baby would be a boy named James Sirius, celebrating him with an elaborate snitch-shaped cake that Mrs. Weasley had made. It was like the one that they'd had for Harry's seventeenth birthday and made Hermione forget how to breathe for a moment.
Everything had changed since then.
She had changed so much since then.
Hermione couldn't help but look up at Draco while Mrs. Weasley cut the cake and began to serve everyone a slice. Although he had remained quietly in the background during the shower, the warm welcome they both had received made Hermione happier than she'd felt in a long time. It gave her hope for the future: for more regular days and holidays together, surrounded by a great many people that loved them and raising her baby alongside Ginny's.
It was strange, imagining a future like this without Ron in it. It was even stranger to think that she would be spending all these days with Draco; she couldn't imagine her life without him now.
When the party began to wind down (long after the sun had set) and Hermione was getting too tired to hold herself up properly, Ginny pulled her aside into one of the many bedrooms to get a quick word in.
"I'm so glad you came, Hermione," she said, giving Hermione as big a hug as she could with her belly in the way.
"Thank you for inviting us," Hermione said, returning the hug. "I love you and I'm so excited to meet your son."
"Well I suppose he could come any day now. You'll be the first to know when he arrives," Ginny said. She pulled Hermione's hands down to her stomach and, after a moment, there was a big kick against her palm.
"Wow, he's strong!"
"Just like his daddy," Ginny cooed. "I'm still nervous that I'm going to fuck it all up and ruin him. But I'm not here to talk about that – I wanted to see how you were doing? And if the Ministry has been in contact with you?"
"I'm doing okay, minus the random nausea and weird belly pain," Hermione said. She looked down at her own stomach and put her hand over where her baby would be. "The Ministry sent me a letter letting me know that they found Ron and that he died, but I haven't heard anything else. I…" Hermione paused. "I haven't pursued it, Ginny. I'm sorry."
"I'm only half surprised," Ginny said. "I don't think there's much you could do to help them anyway. It's still hard to believe that he's really dead – some days are harder than others." Ginny looked down at her rounded belly. "I wish he could have been here today. I like to think he would have been a good uncle."
"Oh, Gin, I'm so sorry." Hermione pulled the redhead in for another hug and held Ginny tightly. "He would have been a great uncle."
"I know I'm being silly," Ginny said, sniffling and trying not to let the tears fall.
"You're not," Hermione said soothingly. "It's okay to feel your loss. I'm sorry there's not more I can do."
"I'm just hoping the Ministry finds something soon. Not knowing what happened bothers all of us, though I have to admit that I felt like I saw something like this coming after he attacked you and then disappeared from mum and dad's. He really seemed to lose it after your divorce."
Hermione's heart twisted and she swallowed hard. "I wish things had turned out differently," she said softly. "I still cared for him, even though I couldn't stay married to him."
Ginny pulled back from the hug and opened her mouth to speak when they were interrupetd by a black-haired man bursting into the room.
"There you are, Ginny!" Harry exclaimed. "We need you back, it's time for more party games. Also, Hermione, you might want to go rescue Draco – I think George is trying to get him to eat a Puking Pastille."
Hermione found herself thinking of Ginny every day since the baby shower. She was quite ready to have James and only growing more uncomfortable as she got closer to her due date. She and Hermione wrote constantly, owls coming and going from their homes multiple times a day, much to Draco's amusement. It had become custmary for owls to swoop in at any and all times, including when he and Hermione were eating together or lounging around in the library or the bedroom.
"You two might as well move in together," Draco joked one afternoon a few days before Christmas as the two ate lunch in his green and gold kitchen. Hermione looked up to see Pigwidgeon fluttering about the ceiling, hooting madly with a small note attached to his leg. She laughed and coaxed him down to remove the note.
"Maybe we will move in together." Hermione's eyes sped down the note and she Summoned a quill to scratch out a quick reply. "She's just got nobody else to talk to. I'm happy to be there for her and, honestly, it's nice to feel like I know what's coming. Though I'm scared that I'll be just as huge and uncomfortable as she is."
"You're just going to get more beautiful," Draco said. Hermione rolled her eyes but grinned all the same. "As for the pain… we'll come up with some solutions as that arises."
"I've told her about the baths since they've been helping me. I think she takes more of them than I do now."
"I must admit that's impressive," Draco laughed. "Is she still planning on hosting Christmas in her current state?"
"Absolutely not. She gave up on that ages ago. I think she's staying home with Harry, actually. So that's what I think we should do, too."
"Stay home with Harry?"
"No, smart-ass," Hermione said. "We should stay home and celebrate with just the two of us."
"The three of us, you mean."
Hermione beamed and placed her hand against her slowly-growing belly. "Yes. The three of us."
Christmas dawned bright and snowy; Hermione felt like a little girl again, staring out at the flurries whizzing by their large bedroom window and soaking in the festive energy she was feeling. She had been grateful to have a break from going back-and-forth to teach and was feeling much stronger after even just a few days. She was now able to focus on enjoying the holiday with Draco.
"You're up early," Draco said sleepily. He still lay next to Hermione and reached out to pull her close to himself, his hands moving down to cradle the small bump that was their growing baby.
Warmth pooled deep inside of Hermione at Draco's touch and she gently moved his hand down lower and lower…
After a leisurely session of making love, Hermione found herself lying on her pillow, staring into Draco's silver eyes. Her heart had never felt so full and she blinked rapidly against the tears gathering in them. Draco's long, thin fingers wiped the tears away and he kissed her forehead gently before pulling her against his chest in a strong hug.
"There's something I'd like to show you," Draco said after a few moments of quietly holding Hermione. "Put your robe on so you don't freeze on the way there."
Hermione did as Draco told her, wrapping herself up in the warm, fuzzy robe that he had gotten her when she'd agreed to move in with him. Once she was dressed and ready, Draco took her hand and they exited the room to walk down the maze of corridors that made up Malfoy Manor. She was glad to be wearing something warm: despite the many constantly-burning fireplaces in the Manor, it managed to stay quite cold during the winter.
It took many minutes for the couple to make their way through the Manor; it dawned on Hermione again that she still didn't have the place memorized and that she felt quite lost. It was amazing that she could spend so much time there and still not know where everything was. Part of her wondered if she would ever uncover all the secrets it held. Nevertheless, at this moment, she was quite glad to have Draco with her, taking charge and leading the way.
"All right, close your eyes," Draco said as they came to a large set of double-doors that Hermione didn't recognize. She furrowed her brow at him.
"What do you have up your sleeve, Draco?" She teased. "How do you know I won't peek?"
"That's a good point," Draco said. He was behind her in a second and placed his hands over her eyes. "Now you won't be able to peek and ruin it."
Hermione pouted, but didn't protest. She allowed him to walk her forward, hearing the doors open seemingly by themselves, and maneuver her through the room.
"All right, are you ready to see your surprise?" Draco whispered in her ear. Hermione shivered slightly at the feel of his hot breath on her skin.
"Yes."
When he pulled his hands away, Hermione gasped.
She had never seen such beautiful, opulent Christmas decorations. There was a tree in the middle of the room whose size would rival one she'd expect to see in the Great Hall, decorated with what looked like real icicles and snow surrounding the bright red bulbs that had been hung on many of the branches. A large, ornate golden star adorned the top of the tree, glittering and shining in the lights that were hung all around the ceiling of the room. Tiny faeries floated around, adding an even more ethereal vibe to the whole area, and when Hermione's eyes made their way down to the bottom of the tree, her jaw hit the floor.
It was littered with gifts, all wrapped in Gryffindor-crest wrapping paper and decorated with gold ribbons and bows.
"Oh, Draco… this is… it's incredible." She took a step toward the tree and allowed her eyes to continue soaking the scene in. "How on earth did you manage this?"
"I had some help," Draco said. His voice sounded different, the timbre lower and almost sounded like it was coming from beneath her. The change caused Hermione to whirl around, quickly realizing the surprises weren't finished.
Draco was down on one knee, an open velvet box in his hand revealing a ring that glittered so brightly that it almost blinded Hermione. Her hands snapped up to her mouth and she let out a choking gasp, at a complete loss for words.
"Hermione Jean Granger… will you marry me?"