Cole goes out to the yard, determined to use exercise to work out this anger. He pulls out one of the punching bags and does his best to keep his fists de-energised as he unleashes blow after blow after blow. Otherwise he would destroy it too quickly. It feels good. Unleashing the anger, having something to focus on despite the monster in his head.
Thinking about Yang causes his mind to slip, orange bands snaking around his arm as it goes straight through the punching bag.
"Another one? Really?" calls Nya from the sidelines.
"Would you rather a hole in the wall?" calls out Cole, furious at the retort. How dare she judge me, she knows what I'm going through…
He wasn't done, so finds one of their timber posts, checks it is secured well into the ground, and then kicks at it until it shatters, which takes just over an hour. By the end he is exhausted, muscles crying out from overuse. Heart beating energetically in his chest, sweat pouring down his forehead.
He looks at the pile of splinters, wanting to feel proud of his efforts, or at least less angry, but nothing has changed. He just managed to break something else.
Cole looks to the sidelines and sees both Lloyd and Nya sitting and watching him. He lets out a sigh and walks over to them, grabbing his towel to wipe down his face. "So now I get double guard duty?" he asks with disdain.
"No." says Nya. "Lloyd relieved me a while ago, I just wanted to see how long you'd stick at it."
Lloyd lets out a defeated sigh. "I said you'd stop before it broke."
"And I said you'd shatter it." says Nya smugly. "Lloyd owes me." She winks at Cole happily.
"Well I'm glad you're all finding this so amusing." snarls Cole.
Nya lets out a little huff. "That's not what I… ugh. Yang's making you mean Cole."
When Cole doesn't respond she leaves. Off to go update Jay or whatever. Cole glances up at the windows, looking for any flashes of blue, but doesn't see any. He instead turns back to his pile of splintered wood. Staring at it like it held the key to some puzzle he was trying to solve.
"Cole…"
Cole ignores Lloyd, hoping he'll get the hint.
"We're getting pretty worried about you."
Cole hadn't noticed how warm the sun was, too focused on his task. It was sweltering, beating down onto his skin and black robes. He gets up and walks over to the shade, taking up a position beneath one of the trees.
He hears Lloyd follow him and take a seat a respectful distance off to the side.
"Maybe you should take a nap?" offers Lloyd.
"No." Cole responds, figuring Lloyd won't quit until he does.
"You're going to need to sleep eventually. Even with Morro, I had to sleep."
"You think I don't fucking know that?" Cole raises an arm, gesturing harshly, embarrassed to feel tears in his eyes. "Just, just not yet." he hugs his knees to his chest, continuing to stare at the pile of wood.
Lloyd sighs again. He was meant to be the leader, but he felt powerless to help Cole. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do. He thinks this is about control, Cole wanting to feel in control of something to make up for him not being in control of Yang. So continuing to pester him about sleep, the one thing still seemingly in his control, well, that probably wasn't going to help. He would sleep eventually, when he really needed it.
"Ok." he says, and they both sit and wait in silence.
Cole opens his eyes and finds himself in the hazey dream version of the temple. Shit, I must have fallen asleep… He gets up to leave, but first turns around to see Yang sitting cross legged on the floor, facing away from him.
Rage boils inside of him. He raises a fist to yell at Yang then realises he hasn't prepared anything to say. "Ugh!" he exclaims before beginning to pace angrily.
"Disappointed that you failed?" asks Yang coldly. He doesn't turn to face Cole.
"Failed? Wha- what are you talking about?"
"I'm still here."
Cole's head feels like it is going to explode. "Now that I know these dreams are real, I was really hoping they would start making more sense."
"You tried to kill me." Yang's voice is flat, devoid of emotion.
"What are you talking about? Kill you, kill you? Do you mean the deepstone? You think that was on purpose? I almost killed myself!"
Cole feels his anger reduce slightly. Oh, so that was coming from Yang…
"You didn't know?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you! I didn't even know you were in here!"
"Absurd. How could you not realise?"
Cole is getting increasingly frustrated that Yang won't even turn around to look at him, so he walks around to see his front. Yang is sitting in the lotus position, eyes shut, but flickering under the lids.
Huh? "What are you doing?" Yang doesn't respond. "Yang?"
Cole leaves him, running for the door. It is heavier than usual, fatigue flowing through his aching muscles. "Let me out, LET ME OUT!"
"You can't keep me here forever." says Yang dryly. The door finally gives way.
Cole wakes up, he is inside the temple at the bottom of the stairs. Someone bumps into his back.
"Cole, you alright, why'd you stop?"
Blood drains from Cole's face, as he crumples to the floor, leaning against the wall. He possessed me, this isn't where I was…
"Cole? Speak to me."
"Yang… I was outside…" Cole looks around getting his bearings.
"Oh, that was Yang? Cole, you're ok. He just walked you inside." Lloyd is crouching down beside him.
Cole shakes his head. "No, I'm not ok! I can't stop him, he's going to come back, I can't…" he reaches one hand into his hair, tugging slightly.
Lloyd rests an arm on Cole's shoulder. "Cole, you're ok. Nothing happened. He didn't even say anything."
"No, I'm not! I'm losing myself… I don't know what's me, and what's him, and I just can't…" Cole continues clutching at his head.
Lloyd frowns. "Cole, does your head hurt?"
Cole pauses his panic, finally looking at Lloyd. "Um, a little I guess? It's not bad."
Lloyd frowns. "It's probably just the lack of sleep."
"I'm not sleeping." snaps Cole.
"Yeah… you mentioned that already."
Cole pushes Lloyd's hand away. "I need coffee." he states, grabbing onto the handrail and pulling up his tired aching body. He had to keep fighting, he couldn't let Yang come back.
Cole spends the rest of Lloyd's shift pacing in the kitchen. Not wanting to sit down, lest he get comfortable enough to fall back asleep.
Kai comes down to make dinner and shoos him out of the kitchen, so he moves his pacing to be out front. Once dinner is ready, Kai comes to get them.
"I'm not hungry." grumbles Cole.
"Dude, you haven't eaten anything since breakfast, you're hungry." Kai grabs him by the shoulders and guides him to the table, forcing him to sit.
Cole looks around as everyone else joins, but when people start eating there is still a distinct lack of blue.
Cole lets out a small sigh, shifting the food around on his plate. "He's avoiding me, isn't he?"
An awkward silence settles on the room, no one wanting to answer that particular question. "He's not avoiding you…" says Nya, an obvious lie, "he, um, just had a pretty rough night."
A rough night is a reason to skip breakfast, not dinner. Cole glares at her briefly before staring back at his food.
He's afraid of me. He doesn't want to be around me.
After dinner Kai refuses to allow Cole to continue pacing, so they end up watching movies again. Cole picking horror ones, hoping they would be the opposite of soothing.
When the second one is nearing the end, there is the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Hey, I'm um, here to relieve you?"
Cole doesn't need to look up to recognise Jay's voice. He whips his head around, thinking he must be imagining things, hallucinating from the lack of sleep, but Jay is standing there in the flesh, wearing his bright blue gi, weapon strapped to his back. No one else had come to guard duty armed.
Jay meets his eyes briefly, then drops his, scratching at his arm nervously.
Kai looks between the two. "Jay, um, you going to be up for this? He's pretty tired."
Translation, we are expecting Yang to overtake Cole any minute now, so are you going to freak out?
Jay straightens up and stops fidgeting. "I'm fine. I've got this."
Kai shrugs. "Sure, whatever, just call if you need us. I'll leave the door open."
Kai gets up to leave and Jay takes his spot on the couch, sitting on the edge furthest from Cole. Cole continues to stare like Jay could vanish any second.
"What?" Jay asks, catching Cole's gaze once more.
"I, um, wasn't expecting to see you." admits Cole.
"Oh." Jay starts bouncing his leg. "I'm sorry. I should have come sooner. I, just, I'm sorry."
That was a terrible apology, they both knew it. Cole was still really hurt that Jay had ghosted him like that, disappeared on him when he couldn't even think straight. But he didn't want Jay to leave again. He finally turns away from Jay, back towards the TV, not wanting to see the fear in his friend's eyes.
He's going to leave you again. He's afraid of you. He brought a weapon.
The constant tremor of the bouncing ceases. "Um, they said you're refusing to sleep?"
Coal groans. So that was why they sent him in! Everyone else had failed to convince him to sleep. Jay was his best friend, he wasn't here because he wanted to be, they must have forced him. Manipulative bastards. "Don't worry. I'm not going to sleep on your watch. Wouldn't want to traumatise you further." Cole hates the harsh tone in his own voice. Was Nya right? Was Yang making him mean?
Jay sighs. "How's the head?"
"It's fine."
"Lloyd said it was hurting earlier?"
"I said it's fine."
They go back to watching the movie. Jay's bouncing leg returns. Cole can't focus on anything on the screen. His mind felt increasingly frazzled, sleep singing a sweet siren song. His very limited attention was over taken by his friend's presence beside him, and the rhythm of his bouncing leg. This whole thing was making him go over everything he did to Jay. He felt awful about it before, but kind of in a justified way. But now? Fuck, he really was a piece of shit.
"How the heck did you do it?" asks Cole.
"Do what?"
"Sleep, knowing I was going to possess you?"
The leg bouncing stops. Jay taking a moment to think through his answer. "I trusted you." Trusted. Past tense. "You don't trust Yang. That's why this is so hard." Cole crosses his arms, angling his body away from Jay, still pretending to watch the TV. That didn't help. He wasn't going to trust Yang. Not enough to hand over his body each night.
"I don't know what to do." he admits. He was so fucking tired. Kai was right, his limit was close, he couldn't do this anymore, but the longer he fought it, the less he wanted to just give up.
"You don't need to trust Yang." says Jay. "You need to trust us. Trust that we will look after you, keep Yang in line. You need to trust us."
Cole looks over to Jay. "But you're scared of me… you brought a weapon."
Jay chuckles nervously. "I don't know if you've noticed, but lately I've been scared of everything. I'm working on it. You're my best friend, I'm not going to give up on you."
"You were hiding from me all day."
Jay frowns. "What? Well, I was freaking out a bit… I didn't think you wanted to see that. You've got enough to deal with right now."
Cole was finding it harder and harder to focus on Jay's words. He looked at his friend, and saw the person who had held him after he first woke up. He wanted that so bad. To be held, to be told it was going to be ok.
Cole wriggles closer to Jay, and leans his head on Jay's shoulder. Jay tenses briefly, but then relaxes again, lifting a hand to run it through Cole's hair. No words are needed in that moment of connection. It's ok, I want to be close to you.
Tears start to form in Cole's eyes as he releases the big ball of tension he had been building over the past couple days. Jay is here, Jay has me, He's going to look after me.
He cries. Not big ugly gasps, but just small constant sobs, building their pattern into his breathing. He feels Jay wrap an arm around his shoulder, and barely notices when the movie ends, credits rolling, long walls of blurry text.
Jay held Cole as he cried. Trying to remember the longest time he had been without sleep. It makes you irritable, paranoid, emotional. Cole was in quite a state, and hopefully most of it wasn't related to Yang.
Jay felt absolutely awful for bolting. For taking a bit of time away from Cole. It had been Nya's idea. After he freaked out about Yang wanting to kill them all, she had tactfully suggested that that kind of energy might not be what Cole needs right now. But Cole had obviously taken Jay's absence to heart.
Jay just had to do what he could from now. So he held his crying friend until the tears dried up and his breathing evened out. Has he finally fallen asleep?
After a couple minutes, Cole's body jerks slightly, and he opens his eyes, sitting up. Pulling away slowly from Jay.
"Cole?" asks Jay quietly.
"Shhhh." Cole holds up a finger to his lips. "You'll wake him. Let the poor kid sleep."
Jay tenses, checking he could easily reach his weapon from how he was sitting.
Cole grabs one of the pillows, moving it to the end of the sofa, then lies down, lifting up his feet and slowly stretching out until Jay gets the message and gets up, giving Cole more room to lie down.
He looks up at Jay, eyes passing over his weapon. "I mean you ninja no harm."
"Um, thanks?" whispers Jay.
"Shhh." says Cole again.
Jay stands there watching intently, trying to decide if he should call out for Kai, but he didn't want to wake Cole if there was nothing of concern going on. Sure, Yang had control, but he wasn't doing anything? Jay starts tapping his foot, mind churning.
Cole's eyes stay open, tracing their way around the room, pausing on Jay, taking in his appearance. After a few minutes he lets out a small sigh. "You really didn't know?" The accent is all wrong. Jay hates how it sounds coming out of Cole's mouth.
"Know what?" whispers Jay, not wanting to be shushed again.
"That your friend trapped me in his head?"
Jay shakes his head. How could Yang not know that? Wasn't he seeing everything Cole saw?
"Morons…" mutters Cole before closing his eyes.
Cole slept soundly after that. Jay wasn't sure if Yang was still in control, or if he had left. After a while he gets sick of standing and sits on the floor near the couch. Shifting positions every 10min or so to avoid getting too comfortable. Eventually morning light filters in through the shutters and Zane comes down the stairs to relieve him.
"Impressive. You convinced him to sleep?"
Jay shrugs. "He couldn't stay awake forever." They both admire Cole's sleeping form for a moment. "I'm not leaving until he wakes up." says Jay. He won't make that mistake again.
Zane shrugs. "As you wish." Jay flinches at the term. "Oh, sorry."
"It's fine. I should really try to get used to it more." Jay scratches at his sleeve. "A coffee would be nice?" he suggests with a yawn.
Zane nods, and goes to make one. It was still too early to start on breakfast.