Training season was drawing to a close and now members of Travis's teams started preparing for the shows in earnest. Anicka was spending as much time as could be spared for her preparing and perfecting her routine.

As she grew better, she felt like all her hard work was paying off. She knew it would be too soon for her to hope to place even in the novice category, she was simply too inexperienced. She needed time in the arena, Travis told her that would help. She might be nervous and clumsy at first but as her confidence grew so would her skills.

"I have faith in you," he told her, "But you need to have faith in yourself."

That was true, self-confidence had never been her strong suit. Getting older had helped, but her disastrous marriage had set her back. Each little thing she did for herself helped. Learning reining had helped, she'd accomplished something she never would have believed she could.

Each night she went to bed tired, but it was a good tired, a physical tired. She would no longer lie awake after she and Travis made love, some nights she fell asleep before he did. Something had changed and she liked it.

One morning she turned on her clock radio and heard a song she hadn't heard in a long time.

Cause I gotta have faith
I gotta have faith
Because I got to have faith, faith, faith
I got to have faith, faith, faith

Her situation wasn't the kind of faith that George Michael was singing about, but the message was the same. She needed to have faith in Travis, faith in her abilities, and most of all, faith in herself. She didn't know how her ex-husband had destroyed such an important part of her. But now she was with someone who believed in her and told her so.

Yes, Travis could do a lot of yelling. He felt free to chew anyone out who he felt was not giving their all, and that included her. At first she would have to fight back tears, then she realized that his bark was worse than his bite, as her mother would say. These days she'd stick her tongue out at him, and he would give her an exasperated look; then she'd return to what she was doing. She was learning that she could give as good as she could get.

The only thing that weighed heavily on her mind was the loss of her mother. You should have been there, she'd tell herself even though she knew it was not possible. But she'd wanted to show her the good man she had married and how happy she was at last. Happily ever after only existed in fairy tales, but if it was possible, she surely had found hers.

She was looking forward to going on the road but there were things she was going to miss. A big part of her day was the dinners they would share together. This was one of the things things that would be sacrificed as they competed across the country. A dinner in a restaurant, no matter how romantic the setting wasn't nearly as intimate as the ones they shared in their dining room.

Travis had not arrived yet at the dinner table. Anicka waited impatiently, this was one of the evenings when she had taken extra care with her makeup and had chosen a pink silk dress that she knew he liked. She wondered where her husband was, but he was always careful to let her know when he would be late for dinner or coming home.

She was about to pour herself a second glass of wine when she heard the door slam and the familiar sound of his footsteps as he came into the room.

"Sorry I'm late," he said and kissed her, "I had to pick this up." He handed her a box, "Open it," he commanded.

The box wasn't sealed so all she had to do was lift the lid. Inside the foam rubber lining was a shiny chrome pistol. She looked up at him, puzzled.

He removed it from the box. "It's a twenty-five caliber, a little bigger than a twenty-two though not by much. I wanted something you could carry easily, like in a purse. I know you have the Colt that your brother gave you, but it's too big to carry around. Do you know how to shoot?"

She gave him a look of exasperation. "Of course I do. My dad taught me how to shoot when I was five, I shot and killed my first deer when I was ten. Dad used to take us hunting, me, the boys and Chela, Maria didn't like it. Ramon wouldn't have given me that Colt if I didn't know how to shoot it."

"Well, come on and show me then." He opened the box of ammo he was carrying, "Here, let me show you how to load it."

They went outside and he tacked a napkin to a tree. "We'll use this for a target."

He didn't know what to expect, either she was lying about knowing how to shoot or she was going to show him up, which she did. She took careful aim and fired off five quick shots, hitting the target dead center.

She turned to him and said, "Why did you get this for me? Why do I need a gun?"

"Because I don't want what happened at the Yellowstone to happen while we're on the road. I hope no one threatens you, but if they do I hope you have this with you. I'm hoping it will help you be a little less afraid."

"But I am afraid, I'm always looking over my shoulder. The thought of having to deal with those people scares me."

"Don't be scared," he answered, "We'll be on the road soon and you'll be safe, I promise. You have a lot of people looking out for you."

Now, at last, it was time to get the trucks ready and packed. Mechanics went over the engines with a fine-tooth comb to make sure there would be no breakdowns on the road. Feed and straw were ordered, and packed into the trailers before the horses would be loaded. Travis and Matt believed in being prepared, and running out of feed was not an option.

Candy had outgrown her crate so Travis found one that would fit. She worked so well with the horses that he was contemplating getting another Shepherd, or maybe a Belgian Malinois to act as a guard dog in the barns. It was unlikely that anyone would make it past security at the gate, but there were horses worth millions in the barns. If the barking from a guard dog didn't scare an intruder off, shepherds had a sharp set of teeth.

t

Her hard work was paying off, she could feel it. Travis had started coming to watch her work with her trainer, which she hated, but Travis knew reining as well as anyone she knew. She hoped her approved of what he was seeing.

She'd learned to build up speed as she galloped around arena, getting to prepare to go into her slide. Sliding horses was something she no longer feared, it had actually become fun. All the hours she put in training were paying off, and her trainer was helping her develop routines designed to impress the judges.

In short, she knew she was ready, or as ready as she could be at this point. She would compete at novice level classes, but that was okay. She also knew she'd be lucky to finish in the first top ten at this point, but her aim was to shoot as high as she could.

Travis walked into the arena and was chatting with her trainer. She did her best to ignore both of them and concentrate on practicing her routine. Her husband expected her to give her best and that was what she felt she'd done as she finished the final slide.

"Hey," Travis called out, "That's not bad for a beginner." For him this was high praise, "Give your horse to the groom and let her cool him out. I've got to talk to you about something."

Her heart sank at those words, it could be about something good, or about something bad. She climbed onto the ATV next to him and they began to roar up the hill to the house.

He turned to look at her. "Now, I don't know how you're going to take this, but the first stop we're going to make is at the Yellowstone, are you going to be okay with this?" e tue He

She felt her heart stop for a moment, then start beating again, only faster." I don't know," she said, "I guess I'll be all right. It's not like he's going to be there waiting for me. It is a little scary, though. I want to ask Rip what happened after I left…"

"No, you don't," Travis cut her off, "What you don't want to know is what he did. I called him and your ex's family hasn't shown up there, or called. If it's any comfort, I think their focus is to try to find you."

"Gee, thanks," she said with a note of sarcasm in her voice "Like I really needed to hear that."

He laughed and patted her on the knee. "Look, I think this is a fear you need to face. If you don't deal with it it's going to follow you. Besides, seeing your friends will help you feel better. I'm sorry you haven't made more friends but that will come in time."

And I want Ryan to see you with me and see that you're happy, he thought. I don't regret taking you away from him and I'd do it again, but he needs to see that you're happy.

At last it came, "D-Day" or departure day as she was calling it. Travis didn't expect her to do much beyond loading her dog and the horse she'd be riding and she wanted to help. She didn't want to act like a spoiled rodeo wife, she wanted people to see her as part of the team.

At last, the last horse had been loaded and Candy was shut safely in her crate. She'd like to have her dog with her, but Travis insisted that she remain with the horses. Besides, he told her, Matt would be riding with them in the back seat and he needed the room.

She and Travis climbed into the front seat Matt slipped into the back. Travis started up the truck, the engine rumbled, sounding almost like a tractor. He began to pull carefully out onto the road, mindful of the horses in the trailer. Even though the trailer had been carefully secured and checked and re-checked, Travis had two precious loads with him, his wife and his horses.

"Hey," sad Matt, grasping her shoulder and shaking it gently. She liked Matt, he was funny and he was almost as good a horseman as Travis. Maybe just as good, she thought, she loved to watch the two of them together, whether it was in the arena or they were just screwing around. She was glad that Travis had a friend he liked and trusted, she wish she could make one of her own.

At least she would get to see Laramie and Teeter, she missed them. It was going to be fun to sit down and catch up, and she wanted to show them her ring. She missed having female friends. The girls on Travis's team were friendly, and if she needed advice an didn't want to go to Travis or Matt, they were always glad to answer her questions. She was sure that Travis had hoped she'd strike up friendships with at least one or two, but it hadn't worked out that way.

She found herself getting drowsy. Travis and Matt were talking back and forth and she decided she'd offer to trade places with Matt. The drive so far was boring and she felt her eyes growing heavy and she leaned her head back and fell asleep.

"There she is, that's her," she heard her ex mother in law's strident voice, "She's the one who killed my son." She pointed at Anicka and soon all the people in the arena were looking at her, some pointing their fingers, saying, "Yes, it's her."

She felt the crowd closing in on her and someone was holding a rope with a hangman's knot. "Yes, it's her," she could hear the crowd chanting.

"What do we do with murderers?" said the man holding the rope, "hang them," the crowd shouted.

Anicka turned her horse, trying to find a means of escape, but they were closing in on her.

"Hey," said Travis, his voice breaking her out of the dream, "You're having a nightmare. There's a rest area ahead, do need to stop?"

She wanted to say no, she wanted to say she was all right, but she wasn't so she nodded and said, "Yes, please, it was a really bad dream, worse than I had before. I just need a few minutes."

"Let's get some coffee, let her walk around for a couple of minutes, she looks like she needs it," said Matt, and she could have hugged him.

"Okay," said Travis, not happy at the idea of stopping, but he was more worried about his wife. Her nightmares bothered him, and what made it worse was that he did not know how to help.