Chapter 12 - Wicked Smaht

Nathan stepped into the Airstream, filthy and exhausted after the latest case with Scorpion. He dropped his gear with a thud on the floor next to his feet.

"Hey, what's with all the racket? Can't a guy get some sleep in the bed in the trailer inside his best friend's weird house that he sometimes crashes in at random times?" A man's voice complained. Nathan's mouth dropped open in shock as a short, strange-looking man emerged from a pile of blankets on his bed, hair sticking up in all directions, wearing what appeared to be Nathan's t-shirt and robe. And also what looked suspiciously like a pair of his newly purchased boxers, the packaging crumpled up on the floor nearby. Nathan's mind refused to dwell too long on the implications, just made a mental note to buy a new robe, underwear, bedding, and pretty much everything he owned that wasn't military-issue before he stepped foot in the trailer again.

But for now, he just wanted to figure out who the hell this weirdo was and why he thought the Airstream was his home. Surely Walter wouldn't have rented it out from under him would he? Nathan watched the man who was obviously so at home in the trailer and he wasn't so sure.

The man leisurely climbed out of the bed. Nathan averted his eyes, not wanting to see any more of the unexpected visitor than he already had. "I believe you are mistaken, sir. This is my home. Walter gave me permission to stay here while my assignment with Homeland was being part of Scorpion."

The man's eyebrows shot up into his hairline in surprise. He tied Nathan's robe's belt around his waist. "I would think my best amigo, Wally, would have told me if he had evicted me. I mean he kept all my stuff in these boxes marked 'Ray Spiewack's Possessions' stacked in a corner under a tarp. It only took me thirty minutes to find."

Nathan would have laughed out loud if the man, Ray, apparently, hadn't looked so perplexed. "I'll just wait out in the Garage. While you put, uh, some of your, uh, own clothes on, and then we can go find Walter and find out just exactly what's going on."

"You took the words right out of the horse's mouth."

"I don't think that's…" Nathan stopped himself. In the thirty seconds he'd interacted with Ray, whoever the hell he was, he didn't think his time would be well spent arguing with the man over semantics. "Sure, sounds good. I'll be waiting." Nathan picked up his backpack and his duffel bag for good measure. He was reassured by the weight of it that it seemed his uniform and other regulation gear was still inside, but still better safe than sorry. Nathan could already picture Ray rifling through his gear and it wouldn't surprise him to see the man appear dressed in his shipboard uniform, ill-fitting though it would be on the significantly smaller man.

As Nathan emerged from the trailer, he spotted Cabe sitting at the desk Paige usually occupied finishing a report before heading home as well. Nathan could see the lines of exhaustion around the older man's mouth. "I can see by the look on your face that you've met Ray, Walter's friend from the time he was sentenced to community service for negligent driving after crashing a borrowed Ferrari and needing to be rescued from the side of a cliff."

Nathan's eyes widened in surprise. "Walter drove a Ferrari off a cliff?"

Cabe nodded. "Yes, but that's a story for another time. The point is, that Walter took a liking to the guy and let him move into the trailer. He's been here on and off ever since. I guess he's on again. Don't worry, he's pretty harmless and doesn't hang around too long. Usually…"

"Oh, you mean he really is staying here?"

"Walt's never kicked him out yet. I can't see him starting now."

"I think I'll go back to the barracks while Ray's in town then."

"Nah, you don't need to do that, kid," Cabe reassured the younger man. "You can crash at my place. I don't have anything as fancy as the Airstream, but if you don't mind a sofa that has a similar vintage to the year of your birth, then you're more than welcome to it. We can carpool too. Save the polar bears and all that."

Nathan glanced at Ray, who had just emerged from the trailer still wearing Nathan's robe, but at least wearing a t-shirt underneath it that read "Wicked Smaht" that he hoped actually belonged to the man and a pair of jeans that looked like they fit Ray, a coffee mug in one hand. "I think I'll take you up on that offer. When we go, I'll need to stop at a store and pick up a few things." Nathan gestured to Walter's new roommate, "I'm pretty sure he's stirring his coffee with my toothbrush."

Cabe eyed the bizarre tableau in front of them and nodded slowly. "Wise decision."

After a successful job reprogramming a hospital's malfunctioning patient record software, the team had a cookout on the roof of the Garage to celebrate. It was a school night so Paige ended the festivities fairly early, despite Ralph and Walter's protests.

"I don't want to hear it," she looked pointedly at both of them, "Ralph, gather up your stuff, we're heading home."

"Paige, can I get a ride, too?" Sylvester asked hopefully.

"Of course, buddy."

Minutes later, the three of them left in Paige's car, much to Ralph and Walter's disappointment. Happy, Toby and Cabe made their exits as well not too long after, leaving Walter, Ray and Nathan on cleanup duty, which pretty much meant Nathan was doing the work while Ray prattled on and Walter searched for a way to escape. When Walter remembered he had an experiment running in the loft, he left as quickly as he could to monitor results that didn't need monitoring.

Once the signs of the party had been cleared away, Nathan turned to bid Ray goodnight and head over to Cabe's when the newcomer pulled a couple of beers out of a cooler next to a lounge chair. "Join me, Amigo. We haven't had much chance to talk since I got here, and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you being willing to step aside as Walter's best friend and letting me reclaim my place here in the trailer."

Nathan wasn't certain how to respond. The invitation didn't feel entirely friendly, but it wasn't completely hostile. He decided to take the high road and respond as amicably as possible. Nathan sat in the chair opposite Ray and took the offered beer. "I'm not trying to take your place in Walter's life as his best friend. That honor is all yours Ray. I didn't know about your standing invitation to stay in the Airstream. Walter offered me a place to stay that was closer than the barracks while I was working with the team. That's all. I never meant to step on any toes. Especially yours, Ray. Everyone here speaks so highly of you."

Ray seemed slightly mollified as he sipped his beer thinking about Nathan's words. "I guess it doesn't surprise me that it slipped Wally's mind. He can be absentminded about such mundane things. It's why he needs me to look out for him."

Nathan nodded his agreement.

Ray's eyes narrowed. "But just because we're copacetic, don't think I'm okay with you making the moves on Patty. She's Walt's girl."

Nathan wanted to laugh despite his discomfort under Ray's scrutiny. He hadn't gotten Paige's name right once all night. Nathan turned his attention back to the man's pointed remark. He had been stuffing down his feelings about Paige, doing his best to ignore the rising attraction as well as the definite signals of interest that Paige had been showing and he knew it was written all over his face.

Ray sighed. "I wanted to be wrong. Walt insisted that I was, that you weren't interested in her. Though to be fair, he always insisted that he wasn't interested in her either, so he may not be the most reliable narrator on the matter." Ray softened for a moment as he thought about his friend before his gaze landed on Nathan again and hardened. "But it still doesn't mean that I like you. There's something about you I don't trust. You've got the rest of them eating out of your hand, but I don't like it. No one's that decent. I think you're a snake in the grass just biding your time, just waiting to move in and take what's rightfully Walter's. I won't have it. I think there's a plot afoot against my friend and you're behind it. I will have no truck with plots."

Nathan bristled. "I have no argument with you, Ray, but I won't sit here while you assassinate my character. I know Walter's interested in Paige. Everyone around here has made that abundantly clear, including Walter, even though he pretends that he isn't. I like him. I respect him. And he's my friend and so I haven't done anything about my interest in, excuse me, the mutual interest Paige and I feel for each other, out of respect for him, yet.

"But you need to understand one thing, Amigo. Walter is a grown man who makes choices and he gets to live with the consequences of those choices just like the rest of humanity. Just because he has an enormous IQ doesn't make him exempt from the human experience. He and he alone is responsible for choosing not to make his feelings for Paige known to her, for not asking her out on a date, for not taking her in his arms and kissing her, for not showing up at her door to declare his love, for not whisking her away to a romantic getaway. The fact that no one else has swept her off her feet has been sheer dumb luck because there are probably at least a dozen men who are kicking themselves right now for not doing so when they had the chance. I know that Walter worries that if he and Paige have a romantic relationship it will destabilize the team. That is a valid concern, but that doesn't mean he gets to decide that no one else can have a relationship with her either.

"If I decide to ask Paige out and if together we decide we would like to take our friendship in a romantic direction, it would be wholly appropriate because she's not in a relationship with Walter. And if Walter feels like he was betrayed by a friend, then I think the friend he was most betrayed by was himself, for not taking the opportunity to make a move during one of the hundred or more chances he's had over the past three years to take his relationship with Paige to the next level. Was she supposed to wait forever for him to pull himself together?"

"Whoa, bro, you've had that bottled up for a while, haven't you?"

Nathan grinned at him sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I have, a little bit."

Now that Ray had said his piece in defense of his friend and Nathan had gotten his long bottled-up frustrations off his chest, the tension between the two men began to ease.

Ray smiled at Nathan for the first time since the day they met, looking at him with fresh eyes. "I like a man with some fire in his belly, willing to fight for his woman, even if it's against Wally. He is my best friend, but he's kind of passive sometimes, doesn't really know much about the adrenaline rush. Back in the days when I was a firefighter, rushing toward danger was a real kick. Ya know?"

"Walter? Passive? You don't really know much about what Scorpion does, do you?" Nathan looked past the odd habits of the new occupant of the Airstream for the first time, seeing him as a fellow first responder.

Ray shook his head at Nathan's words.

"They are huge nerds," the Homeland intern continued, "Walter may be the biggest one of the bunch, but he's also a huge adrenaline junkie. Just the other day he jumped into the La Brea tar pits to save a woman whose car was sinking into the tar with nothing but a dive suit and a light sconce for a helmet to protect him from the heat and chemicals."

"Wha–?"

"I'll let Walter tell you all about that one and some of the other crazy stunts he's pulled. But I didn't know you were a firefighter. Where was your firehouse?"

"I was with Engine 22 in Boston. My best friend, Danny Tuggle, and I joined together right out of high school. He was like a brother to me."

"I'm sorry," Nathan could see the pain in Ray's eyes, the pain all too common in almost every first responder's eyes, and didn't need any further explanation to know that Danny Tuggle had been lost in the line of duty.

"Thanks," Ray blinked a couple of times. "I was lost without Danny for a long time. I didn't think I'd find a friend like him again and then I met Wally and well, no one can replace Danny, but Wally needed me in a way no one had in a long time. He cared about me in his own strange way and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, I just felt like me again, not the guy who lost his partner, just Ray. I needed that in a way I can't even explain. I guess it's why I'm so protective of him. There's a lot about the world he doesn't understand and I know how easy it is for a guy like him to be taken advantage of."

"I would never take advantage of Walter. He's my friend too. I would never do anything to hurt him." Nathan met Ray's eye without hesitation.

"I get that now. I'm an excellent judge of character. It's one of my best qualities."

"But you do need to understand that I may decide to take my relationship with Paige to another level and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Walter, and Paige for that matter, have had ample opportunities to test out the waters, so to speak, in pursuing a romantic relationship and they are not currently doing so. I am crossing no boundary, doing nothing wrong if I do."

Ray scrunched up his face while he considered Nathan's words. "While you may be technically and ethically correct in your assumptions, I think as brothers in public service, we are going to have to agree to disagree in the name of family harmony."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, I can recognize a former boy in blue a mile away. At first, when you asked about my company, I thought maybe you were FD somewhere, but the longer we talked the more I realized, that wasn't it. And then it all clicked. I saw you were Navy by some of your stuff in the trailer. You're working with the older fella, as some kind of federal agent and I realized that's it. You have the look of a keeper of the peace. You were on the job weren't you? But it's been a while. You did it when you were young, before the military."

Nathan shrugged. "Yeah, I joined San Diego PD right out of high school, following in my grandfather's footsteps and his father before him. But I always dreamed of going to sea. It took me a while, but with Grandad's help, I figured out how to make it a reality. Now that you know, do you mind not mentioning it to Walter or the others? They don't know I was law enforcement and I'm not sure if they'd accept me as openly if they did."

Ray studied Nathan, searching for any sign of duplicity. "Yeah, I can see that. Wally's never been big on obedience. Probably why he and I get along so well. I prefer to think of the law as more of a guideline than as say… a law."

Nathan chose to ignore Ray's remark and focused on the fact that his past would remain hidden.

"But if you joined up with Uncle Sam and his giant boats, what are you doing on land with Walter and the Brainiacs?"

Nathan gestured to his shoulder and knee. "Recovering from an injury sustained in the line of duty. The Navy put me on loan to Homeland, and when the opportunity to work with Walter and Scorpion came my way, I jumped at it. I worked with Walter and Happy a while back on a mission. I always knew if I ever had the chance to work with them again I wouldn't hesitate, whatever it took."

"Getting to make the move on Polly is just the cheese on your pizza."

Nathan looked at Ray with a bemused look on his face. "I suppose you could put it that way. Even though I really wish you wouldn't. Anyway, I thought we agreed to disagree. Maybe we can talk about something else."

Ray grudgingly agreed. "On one condition. Just don't put the move on her while I'm here. I don't think I could bear it and I won't be the one to pick up the pieces of Wally's broken heart. You need to deal with the aftermath. If you really are his friend, you will."

"Of course, I would, though I doubt it would come to that. How long are you staying anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Ray teased.

"Yes, that's why I asked."

"I don't know, maybe forever."

Nathan sighed, reigning in his frustration. "I'll think about your condition, but with an open-ended departure date, I have no idea how you can ask something like that of me."

Ray didn't answer, just grinned and Nathan gently steered the topic of conversation to other topics less fraught with peril, like some of the more dangerous fires Ray fought by Danny's side back in Boston.

When Nathan and Cabe showed up at the Garage for work a few mornings later they were met by a surprised Walter, telling them that when he had come downstairs a few minutes earlier, all of Ray's belongings were gone, the only thing he had left behind was a note. Ray had decided it was time to move on.

"The Airstream is yours again," Walter told Nathan before turning his attention to the computer screen in front of him.

"Thanks, Walter. I'll move my stuff back in again tomorrow," Nathan sat down at his desk and began shuffling through paperwork surprised at this turn of events. He was going to miss that weirdo.

Author's Note on the passing of time in this story:

In case anyone was wondering, this story takes place over a span of months.

There are a lot of things that I enjoy about writing. Shocking, right? Keeping track of time, the chronology in my stories is not one of them.

Even though these chapters tell a larger and longer story, they are also somewhat self-contained mini-stories in themselves. The best way to think about the passing of time in between the events of each chapters is in a more fluid and loosey-goosey way similar to the way old cartoons used to show calendar pages flipping by more than some amount of time that one could count or measure.

If that stresses out the more regimented and logical-minded among my readers, for that I sincerely apologize, there are a number of people in my real life who are also stressed out by my rather tenuous grasp of the concept of time and I apologize to them on a nearly daily basis.

It is not my intent to make you crazy, just to write an entertaining story. Carry on and if it helps, give these chapters a timeline as best you can, I promise I won't be offended.

I am mentioning events that occurred in late second season/early third season (the dreaded "Tim" episodes) in this story, I am not referring to them in chronological order from the series, but rather sprinkling them in like seasoning in this delightful AU bouillabaisse I am concocting here. I encourage you not to get your knickers in a twist over granular details and simply enjoy the story!