WARNING! I don't usually put warnings before my writing, but I know that this chapter contains a sensitive topic in the form of a miscarriage. I would like to state that I am not married and have not had a miscarriage myself. I do know family members who have though. I can't say that I've done as much research as I can on the topic, but I have done some. I do mention blood and pain. This is not a fun chapter and is quite serious. Feel free to skip it.

"You've been a bit off lately Em. Have you been feeling alright?"

"I haven't been feeling ill per-say, but I haven't been feeling quite right either. Ruth had a bit of a scare with the girls after you and John left. Both Penny and Josie had gotten pretty sick with high fevers and throwing up. After the girls were better, Ruth had thought she might have caught whatever they had. Except it persisted much longer than what theirs had been and she didn't have a fever. What if... what if I've caught what Ruth has. I don't want to get my hopes up, it could be just a summer cold building up..."

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see then won't we." He said placing a hand on her stomach and gently rubbing back and forth.

It was only a couple of weeks later when they were a little more sure that they were actually expecting. He could see the hope shining in her eyes as she made items for Ruth. Even on days when she wasn't feeling the best, she was bright with the thought that she might be carrying their little one.

He had promised John and his dad, that he'd help them with a large project at the old homestead. The barn needed some work done to it, to keep it in working order. So he left early one morning to help John and his dad get the work started before the heat of the day became too much; even for him.

"Emily, love, I'm going to help John and my dad on the barn today. I should be back mid afternoon."

"Okay." She snuggled deeper into their covers on the bed as he kissed her good bye. He watched her for a couple of minutes as she settled back to sleep.

They had pretty much figured that she was truly expecting, but were going to wait a bit longer before telling anyone.

He, John and his dad had gotten a lot done on their first day working on it. But, when he got home, Nanna was waiting outside for him. A pit of dread immediately dropped into his stomach.

"I thought it would be best to warn you. It's not looking good. Emily woke up in extreme pain, it looks as if she's losing the baby. She's heartbroken."

Tears were wanting to leak from his eyes already. He gave Nanna a nod before going in to search for Emily.
He found her curled up, crying on their bed.

He spoke softly to her.

"Em, I'm here now. I'm here."

"I lost our baby, it hurts so much. There was so much blood earlier. It hurts Jesse."

He sat on their bed and got her to curl up on his lap. He brushed his fingers through her hair, and softly rubbed her back. Rebutting her as she tried to tell him she failed him.

"You could never fail me, it just isn't our time. You can't blame yourself anymore than you let me blame myself."

"I can't see them Jesse, not now, not when everyone is so happy and have their own broods to be looking after. Not after I've lost ours."

The next day he didn't want to leave Emily. He knew Nanna would be there for her and that he had promised to help his dad and John with the barn. He wasn't sure he was ready to face them though.

They had cried late into the night together. As such, neither of them had much sleep as Emily went through another bout of pain.

He still went though.

Both John and his dad noticed how tired and unsettled he was. He claimed that nightmares had taken over last night.

That's what it had felt like. That he and Emily were living through another nightmare.

John just grimaced sympathetically, liking thinking the Titanic was what he meant.

His dad wasn't as keen on the simple explanation and had pulled him to the side to dig a bit deeper.

He wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

"Anytime you're ready, I'll be here. Take care of what you need to. John and I will be fine to finish up. Stay home, rest, return when you're ready and not before." Said his dad.

Before he left, walking along side John, he updated him about how Ruth was doing in her second pregnancy.

"She's about five months along, we're just hoping it's not another set of twins. Not that that would be a bad thing. I'm hoping for a boy this time, it'd be nice to carry on the family name, but any healthy baby or babies will be well loved."

"We're happy for you both." He tried to smile. It felt more like a grimace.

"How's Emily? Ruth was sure that-"

"No. She didn't want to get her hopes up, though she still did, it's just a summer cold. She's not up to visiting anyone so we won't be over later..."

John gave him a light thump on the back with a sympathetic smile before parting ways.

He needed a moment to cry by himself before he went to face his wife again.

Emily had put on her sanitary belt on, after she had first lost the baby, not wanting to wake up in a pool of blood again. When he came in, Emily was in some pain again. He told her of how his dad and John were going to handle the project themselves and he wouldn't leave her side again unless she wanted him to.

The next two days were spent comforting each other, Nanna always there to help. He wouldn't let Emily clean anything, so he and Nanna would work together to do so. On day four, she wasn't having the pain she had been having anymore, and the bleeding seemed to have stopped. So he drew her up a proper bath. Not leaving her side while she had a proper cleaning.

It was a couple days later when she suggested telling his family, so that they didn't get curious and stop by when she wasn't ready to see them.

He agreed to do so. Waiting until she was asleep to head over.

It wasn't an easy walk over. He spent it deep in thought, dreading what had to be said. Barely paying attention to the sound of grass changing to the crunch of gravel under his feet.

Slowing as he approached the door. He took a deep breath in, let it out and knocked.

Ruth grinned as she opened the door and took a step back to allow him in to the house. "We haven't seen either of you since earlier this week. Is Emily feeling better?"

"Yes and no..."

Her brow lowered as he continued.

"Nanna will be staying a while longer... Em was sleeping when I left but we'd agreed to let you all know that-"

"Jesse, what's happened?"

He tilted his head and regarded her in pained silence, forcing an awkward half grin if only to keep another bout of tears at bay. He realized they were missing another get together as Henry and their dad appeared in the hall a few paces behind Ruth.

Both older Hudson siblings and their father remained silent as he fought for the right words, struggling for a moment before deciding to be straight forward. His own voice sounding miles away to him as he spoke aloud of what had happened for the first time.

"She was expecting."

Ruth's hand flew to her mouth before he could finish.

"We weren't sure at first, which is why we hadn't told anyone." He took a deep breath, but choked when Henry stepped forward, his dad putting a hand on Henry's shoulder. "But now-"

He lost the hold on his tears and excused himself outside for a moment. No one followed him out, giving him a chance to collect himself again.

As he was going to step back in, his dad stepped out.

"Do you want to go back in there?"

He shook his head in answer.

"Emily doesn't want to see anyone for awhile."

"We can do that, just let us know when it's okay. I'll let everyone else know."

"Thank you."

He turned to leave.

"Jesse, take care of yourself and Emily, and take the time you need. Don't rush things."

He gave a nod as he was told to go home to his wife.