This happens a couple years after the previous chapter.

Neither of them were happy about how long this stint would be.

It would last nearly six months, but the offer couldn't be refused. Not when he was being asked to be a third officer and John the fourth.

The promotion couldn't be turned down. Not unless they wanted to wait for whoever knew long for the next opportunity to pop up.

Emily had travelled with him to port. Ruth had considered it, but both her and John decided it would be too much hassle with their three kids, all under five. Even if his father came with them.

He and Emily had left home a few days before he needed to be at the ship. That way he'd have a chance to spend sometime with her in port before he sailed.

John didn't travel with them; opting to come as last minute as he could, to try and maximize his time with his family. Also to give them some more time alone.

They spent every moment with each other until he had to board and start his duties.

That's when John had arrived, as had Nanna, who would be accompanying Emily home and staying with her while he was gone.

He knew that while he wouldn't be getting away to see her anymore, Emily wouldn't leave port until the ship left. She and Nanna would be a part of the crowd waving them off. After which, they'd go home. While he was on the seas for the next six months.

They'd be limited to letters and telegrams.

It was going to a long stint.

John wasn't excited about missing half a year of his kids' lives either, but it just wasn't something they could refuse to do.

Once on ship, it didn't take long to get used to the new positions, and having their own cabins, which was nice for a change. Their captain was good and had requested them specifically.

The start of their stint had been a relatively uneventful, until just under two months in when he got the telegram from Emily.

She hadn't been feeling well and hadn't wanted to admit to what it could be.

She was afraid. Though Nanna wouldn't let her bury it.

Pregnant.

They were expecting again.

Hopefully with better results this time.

He wanted to be there with her. There was going to be so much of her pregnancy that he'd miss.

He had sent back a message immediately expressing his excitement, joy and longing to be with her now.

He read her message over and over again, before putting it in his pocket. He couldn't help but think about how Emily was taking being pregnant again.

Sleeping gradually grew harder and harder, often ending up in nightmares. They'd either be of losing their baby, losing Emily, or both.

The sinking would pop into a few dreams. At least once he had dreamed of being on the lifeboat and dying in front of his expecting wife.

John caught him one time looking over the rail when he was finished his shift.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Nightmares, just needed some air."

"Don't stay out too long, we don't need you getting sick."

"I'll only be a few minutes more."

He waved off John's concern that night, but his sleep remained restless.

John ended up catching him out there more than once.

After a few nights, John made comment again.

"Jesse, this is starting to become a habit. A bad one. I've been having to make sure you're awake for your shift so you don't miss it. You've been distracted when you do decide to join us for cards and a smoke. How long has this really been going on for?"

"Few weeks now."

"Did you get bad news from home?"

"No, it's good news."

"Why do you sound like you're trying to convince yourself?" John quirked an eyebrow.

"Em sent word that she's expecting again." He said softly.

"That is good news, great news. You should be excited."

"I am."

"You don't sound like it."

"I'm going to miss most of her pregnancy."

"You'll be back for the important part. It's hard not being there, I do know the feeling."

He glared at him. "But you've never lost a child after never thinking you couldn't have them. I'm worried about how she's handling it."

"She has Nanna and Papa Hudson, Henry and Joan aren't far away either. You know that Ruth will dote on Emily as much as she can when our kids will let her. She's in good hands."

He let out a sigh. "I know, it doesn't make it easier."

"Go and try to get some sleep before your next shift."

John gave him a slap on the shoulder as he agreed to try.

The knot in his stomach would never leave. He tried putting all of his focus on work, but that knot wasn't making it easy to eat or sleep.

The nightmares that seemed to plague him every night, only seemed to get worse and worse.

The next time John confronted him was on a cooler shift they were working together at night.

"Maybe you should consider cutting this stint short."

"We're not simple AB's anymore who can switch stints and ships easily. I can't just get off next time we're in port and leave the crew short their third officer. That's not how it works." He crossed his arms, his jaw set.

"Jesse, you're still not sleeping, and I think I know you well enough by now to tell."

"How am I supposed to sleep? When all I can think of is Em when not on shift?"

"Maybe you should speak with the captain-"

"No. He requested us for this long stint. Giving us BOTH promotions, ones we can expect to keep after this stint. I'll push through, just like I do for the cold."

John's eyes glinted in a way he didn't like.

"Jesse, this is enough. Last time I saw you anything like this, was when you ran back to sea before anyone thought you were ready. We've been out here for only a little more than an hour, and even with your scarf you're starting to get red. You're listless to a degree I've only seen you be on land. I don't like seeing you this listless, you're more likely to do something foolish. Go talk with the captain before I do so on your behalf."

He gave John a look that couldn't have been clearer in saying that he was treading into dangerous territory.

"You're starting to border on what could be considered insubordination, Fourth Officer Winters."

"I'll risk it. Your ears and fingers are red and have been for almost half an hour. That's quick even for you in this weather. You need to take care of yourself. You have a wife and unborn baby to think about. It won't do any of you good if you end up sick because you're too stressed about not being there. You may be my Third Officer, but you're my brother-in-law first."

"I'm fine John, I don't need your meddling." He was done talking about this.

"Why do you always have to seem to push yourself to the extremes? It's not good for you."

He ignored John's head shake along with his last comment.

He made sure to have a hot drink and a bowl of broth after that shift to help warm him up.

It was a couple of days later between shifts that he'd been called to go and speak with the Captain.

He was barely able to conceal his scowl. John had gone over his head just like he said he was going to do. Because of that, he was now having to face the Captain, and have the potential for getting disciplinary actions put against him.

If throwing a fellow officer overboard wouldn't result in more disciplinary actions, he'd be highly tempted to do so to John.

He didn't think the knot in his stomach could grow anymore than it had. With great reluctance he made his way to the Captain's study, but you didn't keep the Captain waiting. He hesitated, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Come in." He opened the door and closed it gently behind him.

"Mr. Hudson, please sit." The Captain gestured for him to take a seat in front of him, before steeping his fingers. "I assume you have an idea as to why I've called you here."

"Yes sir." His stomach twisted as he sat there stiffly, they had barely begun.

"My Fourth Officer came to me expressing some concern about you. Not in the fact that you have not been preforming your job well, but in concern of your health. He cited that you have been struggling this trip, due to stress from home. There is a reason why I chose you and Mr. Winters to be some of my officers this stint. I will do my best for you to keep this position, but I need to hear whether this is true or not from you. I need you to be honest with me. Are you struggling with this trip due to stress coming from home?"

He wanted to sag, he wanted to yell at John. It was his fault he was here. There was only one thing he could do right now, even with the way his stomach was roiling at this conversation.

Tell the truth.

Lies would only get him in more trouble.

"Yes, sir. I am."

"I would like to hear at least a vague explanation as to what the circumstances could be from home that would lead to you struggling so much, that my Fourth Officer felt the need to bring it to my attention."

"There is concern for my wife and unborn child's health at home. I know there has been mention of my own health in colder conditions but I don't intend to shirk, sir."

"See to it Mr. Hudson. I will be watching you closely the next couple of weeks before deciding on my actions. You're a good officer, I wouldn't want to lose you."

After he was dismissed, he didn't feel much relief. He was being put under watch for the next couple of weeks. He didn't know how he was going to eat anything, he didn't even have the energy to ream John out about getting him into this mess in the first place.

It was a little less than a couple weeks when the Captain pulled him aside, just into a quiet corridor.

"Mr. Hudson, a word. I've seen enough, I'm relieving you of duty." His heart sank immediately, he was going to be given a disciplinarian leave.

"It will only be once I can arrange for a replacement for you. I would like to make it explicitly clear that this is not disciplinary. This is not a punishment of any sort. From what I've seen, you have preformed as admirably as you have since you've first stepped on board. I will be recommending that you keep your rank. Your health and family are important, especially when you're expecting a new member. Will this be your first child?"

He was slow to answer, because it was a yes and no answer.

"No sir, it's not our first time expecting."

"All the more reason to go home. Just hold on a few more weeks Mr. Hudson."

They'd been lucky, if you could call it that. It had only taken a couple weeks to find his replacement and send him home. The captain had made sure to take the time to wish him well before leaving the ship.

"I hope we get the chance to work together again sometime Mr. Hudson. Perhaps next time, we will have better timing. One day, I can see you being a captain. Just keep on it, but take time for your family too. They only stay little for a short time."

"Thank you sir, I'll be sure to remember that."

They shook hands right before he left the ship.

He'd sent home a notice as for when to expect him, so there wouldn't be a panic in his turning up. Since he had a couple days in port before there'd be a ship leaving in the right direction, he decided to explore a bit and pick up a couple things for the baby, as well as Emily. Then, he would be home and wouldn't be leaving her side anytime soon.