Hello everyone,
Hopefully you are still enjoying this one. We are getting closer and closer to the end of Part. 1. Then I am still hesitating if I am posting here, or creating a new fic page. I think I will do the later. As my goal is that this first part will not be automatically necessary to get into the next part.
I will see, I am still improving the writting slowly.
Overall, I think my problem is that I write too much, but it is hard to judge on my own.
Anyhow, please enjoy!
They arrived at one of the back picnic tables, in the very back of the school. It was quite often used by students, but thankfully, today it wasn't.
Sasuke sat first, still silent, while the girl sat in front of him, still chatting.
She opened her bento, and immediately, food started to appear in front of him. He could see that it was homemade, and he felt a bit more guilt.
The girl had probably spent her entire Sunday afternoon and evening cooking that much food. She was still talking.
That confirmed it—He really needed to put an end to whatever this was.
"Sakura, we need to talk." He interrupted.
This time, he didn't lace his voice with anger or annoyance—nor did he soften it. Still, the low octave and serious tone were enough to send a shiver down the girl's spine.
She smiled at him and sat, less excited than before. Sasuke couldn't tell if her smile was fake or not.
"Yes, Sasuke-kun, is it that you are allergic to…"
"No. We need to talk about Saturday, Sakura."
She twitched, but immediately went on.
"Oh, the night. Yes, I really wanted to ask you—"
This time she stopped herself when she saw his dark eyes and the void they were suddenly creating.
"Go… go ahead."
She was trembling, but Sasuke did not notice.
Sasuke just went ahead with the words he had not prepared, but was ready to say.
"I am sorry..."
She did not react, so Sasuke went on.
"I wanted to apologize for what happened. I am not certain you remember exactly… but I think, Sakura, you can realize it was a fiasco."
She kept quiet…
"I would appreciate your silence on the matter. I am not entitled to your word. However, it was my mistake." He breathed out : "I shouldn't have followed you that night. I knew what you were expecting, but I was obviously not ready for it, and I am definitely not interested in trying it again, nor dating." He let out the last blow. The only thing he could do for her now, was to be honest: "I am not in love with you, and I never will be."
She let out quietly, almost looking for her words.
"What… what do you mean… You… We made love."
"No, we didn't."
"Yes, we…"
"Sakura, you know that whatever happened there, it wasn't love."
He then waited, immobile, waiting for a reaction from the girl. But only her perfect lips were trembling, and her gaze was desperate. She spoke clearly however:
"Why would you do that?"
"I…" He shut up.
She looked so distressed, full of hurt.
"I always -always- give you the best of myself, Sasuke. Saturday too!" She was raising her voice. "I did… I have always given you the best I could offer…"
"I know, I'm sorry…"
"It would never be enough, will it?!"
His heart sank and he opened his mouth… to say what?
"Never enough. You just take. That is it. The Uchiha way. Selfish"
"I"m-"
"Go, I don't want to hear you. Just GO!"
He hesitated, but seeing the girl erasing a tear from her eye, he made up his mind.
He then stood, and after a quick look of guilt, left the scene.
He did not see her the rest of the day. A part of him was expecting her to run after him, protesting, begging him to reconsider. That they were meant to be. Yet she had not. Guilt was raising in him, but he hadn't budged.
He was making the right decision—he knew it.
At the end of the lunch break, Sasuke was emotionally numb.
At the afternoon break, Karin did not show up to talk to him, so he assumed Sakura had not talked to anyone yet. Somehow, he was relieved. It was nice. The calm before the storm.
Later that day, he pieced out that Sakura had left. He knew because a couple of students had asked him where she was.
He was trying his best not to think about it.
He and Konan had continued to text throughout the day.
Tomorrow, Sasuke was ready for the rumours and the chatting that was going to start. So far, no one seemed to know, but that meant little.
At the end of the day, nothing had happened.
School had finished, and most kids were either going back home or, like him, joining club activities.
The meetings with the student council were long and boring, but that was okay. Finally, when he left school, the entire building seemed empty and noiseless. It was still sunny outside, but he knew that it wouldn't stay that way for long.
Finally, in front of the gate, he was going to turn left when he heard a honk. Immediately, he jolted when he noticed the small car that was approaching the road behind him. He calmed instantly when he recognized the teal-coloured car.
Gently, the car parked right in front of him. And he instantly dropped his backpack on the ground, while bowing his head toward the open window.
The smiling face of Konan then appeared.
"Not too late," she said.
"Yes, you are right on time."
She smiled.
"Here, you watch."
"Thanks."
"How did it go?"
"Better than I expected. But still, far from easy."
"I bet."
"Hn."
"What did she say?"
"She did not understand."
"Well, that's to be expected."
"Hum."
She smiled.
He liked Konan. He appreciated her so much for her support.
"Thank you," he said.
The girl's smile got a little bit brighter, and with her usual delicacy, she signed for him to come closer.
He did.
Then, with a lot of kindness in her eyes, she kissed him.
He felt the soft touch for only an instant on his lip before the girl got back to her seat. That had been so fast that he almost hadn't felt it. Just the tips of his lips felt a bit ticklish. He still could feel the gentleness of it. And he smiled fondly too, finding this warmth in his chest. It was a mark of affection like another.
Then, with a last goodbye, she drove away.
"What the fuck?"
He suddenly turned to face the rage of the man right behind him.
"Naruto."
The blond was standing there, his hair still wet from the shower he had probably just taken after finishing his football training. His muscles very tense under his tanned skin. And incomprehension and anger were raging in his eyes.
"Did you just kiss that girl?"
"…"
His hand on his backpack, resting only on one shoulder, started to tremble, while the other one was already fitted into a fist.
And Sasuke didn't know what to do. He did not understand.
Why was Naruto here?
Why was he talking to him after 3 years of ignorance? Did he just pass by and see him with Konan? But, why talk to him?
"What?"
"Are you kidding me? What about Sakura?"
What did this… Oh… that made more sense.
Naruto had always been so protectively jealous over the pink-haired girl. There was no way he hadn't heard the rumours, and now he was seeing him kiss with…
No, that's not what you—
Was that what he was going to say?
Not what you think?
Not what you saw?
His voice died in his throat. Naruto looked so angry right now. Sasuke felt that whatever he would say, he would never win this argument. Naruto was not the type to listen.
Sasuke just didn't budge, standing there, stupidly, with just his awkwardness to protect him.
Of course, that annoyed Naruto even more. His silence was sounding like an admission.
Uchiha.
Uncaring.
Indifferent.
Emotionless
Selfish.
Naruto was not like that.
Naruto never used silence as a method of communication.
Naruto was loud.
Naruto always expressed himself.
Naruto was used to honesty: raw, loud, and laid bare in every word. Shouted in sentences.
So, of course, he couldn't understand why Sasuke wasn't explaining himself. Defending his cause. Sharing his thoughts.
Everything that Sasuke was, Naruto couldn't understand.
He hated him for that.
Maybe, that was why their only real means of communication had always been their fists. A language that both of them understood, more than words could ever.
And at this moment, it was clenching Sasuke's heart. The words, trying desperately to make their way to his mouth, screaming as well, explaining why.
He was innocent.
That this was an injustice.
And that he felt terrible, because he also knew it was his fault. This was not true.
Naruto was making him feel terrible and miserable. His gaze, his strong jaw, his inability to listen.
Because, yes, maybe Sasuke was unable to talk.
But Naruto was also unable to listen. He was a stupid loudmouth that always assumed everything without checking.
So why try? Why bother?
The blond was always getting involved in what did not concern him, and right now, Sasuke wanted to punch him very badly.
"You are the most disgusting, lowest, selfish bastard I have ever seen. You are—a garbage of a human being… and… and-" spat the blond.
"Oh, nothing more to say? I'm actually impressed you know so much vocabulary. Last time I checked you didn't even know how to spell."
Ah… Sarcasm, his only true best friend.
"What did you say?!"
In a minute, Naruto had come to him and grabbed him by the collar.
"I dare you to say that again!"
"You think you're scaring me?"
He could see how Naruto was holding himself back from hitting him. Clenching his teeth together. They were still on school grounds, after all. Last time, he had almost been expelled.
"Listen to me very carefully. If you hurt Sakura, I will destroy you."
"Hn, like you can do anything like that."
He pushed him away, and Sasuke stumbled back, hitting the wall.
"Trust me, dickhead, I can."
A strong masculine odor started to emanate from Naruto, mixing with the scent of his shampoo. Slowly, Sasuke noticed—for the first time in a long time—that Naruto was slightly taller than him. Or maybe it was the hair. No, actually, they were the same height. But his shoulders were broader. His head was raised, defiant. His entire presence reeked of newfound masculinity, willpower, and strength.
Sasuke hated that.
What was he thinking?
That he was a hero or something?
Both of them stood still for a moment, judging the other. Evaluating strength, power, and speed. They were fighters after all. They knew how to size up an enemy—where to hit, where to break.
"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, having Sakura and kissing other girls, but—"
"I'm not with Sakura."
Naruto looked confused before he snapped back to his senses, his eyes darker with even more hate.
"What, she's your sideshow or something?! You were playing with her?"
"Hf. No. She is the one who came to me. She's the one who has to deal with the consequences. I have nothing to do with it."
"Dafuck?! Are you KIDDING ME? You have nothing to do with it?! She's been in love with you! Since we were kids!"
"And?"
"You piss me off! She's an amazing person, and she's wasting all her time on you! Instead of finding someone who actually loves her!"
"Like you?"
He shut up, before turning red.
"Th—No… no, that's not what I mean! She has many… people who care about her! And Saturday… do you know how many people would have killed to be there instead of you?"
Sasuke started laughing dryly. What an obvious lie.
"Well, they shouldn't. It really wasn't that great..."
Naruto's fist found his nose before he even had time to move. Sasuke felt the blood drip into his mouth.
He kind of deserved it.
But still, it wasn't Naruto's call to hit him for that. He was tired of the boy always looking down on him.
"You rich fuckers really think you can have anything, anyone."
He choked on the blood a bit, still seeing stars, and his arm shot up to shield his head as Naruto threw another punch. He would definitely have a bruise. When the blond came at him again, he gripped Sasuke's shirt, pulling him forward so their eyes locked.
"Never. Insult. Sakura. Again."
Each word was spoken with such a sharp, shrill tone that Sasuke couldn't even process them fully. But the message had been extremely clear. He was shoved against the wall once more, and then—without a glance back—Naruto grabbed his bag and walked away.
Sasuke raised his head and looked after the blond with contained frustration.
He'd let it slide. Just for today.
He really didn't have the energy to fight over… Sakura. Plus, Naruto was sort of right… he had been a dick.
The boy's broad shoulders and the strength in his stride felt unfamiliar. And yet… an image flashed back in Sasuke's mind—Naruto's face close to his, those bright blue eyes and tanned skin under messy golden hair. A minute later, Sasuke forced the thought away and picked up his bag, still lying on the ground. His nose was still bleeding, but he did his best not to get blood on his shirt.
He went home.
That night, he learned Itachi had broken up with his fiancée. While Itachi had been managing the wrestling match with their father fairly well, she couldn't take it anymore and had left.
She had left.
That was… convenient. At least with all the screaming and crying in the house, no one would notice the huge bruise forming on Sasuke's face.
Not that his brother's obviously devastated expression was a nice sight, either.
It's very upset that he finally went to bed.
Maybe he should find another way to keep busy at night. Because now that Itachi had come back in his father's paw, the old Uchiha would start to focus on Sasuke again. He knew the pressure that meant.
So that night, he went to bed worried.
Naruto, Sakura, and the school all came back to him in his dreams.
The fight they'd had. The screaming. The hate. It was a nightmare like no —the kiss. That awful, accidental kiss they'd shared.
Followed by the scent—Naruto's scent. That sharp masculine odour the boy was emitting. The strong muscle he was using. His rough hand, and his mouth against his. The shoving. The touch. The smell. The wetness. The sweat…
When Sasuke woke up in the morning with sticky pants and the sweet arousal still pulsing in his blood, it became obvious that he couldn't deny it.
It couldn't be Sakura. Or any girl. Not even Konan.
No—it had to be a boy.
Because Sasuke was, and probably always would be, a gay man.
He was doomed.